11pm.
Very boring. I’m resting here in the hospital, in 3 days I will be having my operation. It’s too quiet in hospital especially at this time, I can’t sleep.
I just watched at the stars from my window that is beside my bed.
*tok *tok (sound of knocking)
“Huh?” I was distracted from my star-gazing when I suddenly heard a knock on other side of the wall, in the adjacent room. At first I ignored it, because I thought that maybe the person just b.u.mp into it, maybe he is a messy sleeper.
[TL: lol, maybe the wall is made in wood not a concrete, but it’s a hospital? let’s just a.s.sume it’s a concrete but you can hear a knock from the other side.]
But it repeated again.
*tok *tok
I started to wonder, that’s why I tried respond to him.
*tok *tok
I knocked twice. He also responded immediately, this time it was stronger.
**tok **tok
I responded again.
*tok * tok
I was expecting to hear another knock as a reply, but I didn’t, no one responded in the other room. I don’t know why, hmmm. Maybe he also doesn’t have anything to do or maybe he also can’t sleep.
“Oh well,” since no one answered, I a.s.sumed that he don’t want to play anymore. I just continued looking at the night sky.
*tok *tok
I heard a knock again but this time it’s not from the wall but from the door.
I thought it’s one of the nurses that’s why I let him in, “Come in.”
I was surprised that instead of a nurse, a woman entered the room and greets me. The moonlight reflected her from the darkness of my room.. She has a dark and long loose hair, she’s wearing a white hospital gown that didn’t reach her knees. She’s pale and has a round eyes, because of her paleness her pinkish thin lips is more expressed. She is entering the room while smiling.
From the doorway she wave her hand at me,
“Hi, I’m Shekinah. Knock knock.”
Let me tell you that this girl knocked on my wounded heart.
“Hi! I’m Shekinah. Knock knock.” She lifts her hand and knocks her fist in the mid-air.
“Uhh.. h.e.l.lo?” its awkward, err.. I don’t know what I should react in this situation.. “Who are you?”
“I told ‘ya,” she pouts as she walk towards my bed and p.r.o.nounces her name by syllables, “I’m She-ki-nah.”
“Understood. But who is Shekinah?” she opens her mouth and is about to protest but I continue my phrase to stop her, “Who are you in this hospital? Why did you enter my room? Are you the one who is knocking from the next room?”
“Yadaa yadaa! Why do people ask lots of questions!” she jumps to the free s.p.a.ce of my bed and place some strands of her long hair and start eating the tip. “If I answer all your question, will you come out and play with me?”
Maybe she’s a crazy person, I think she is in the wrong hospital. She should be in the mental. The way she acts is kinda creepy, not to mention her fair reflection in her white gown and her long hair. Sadako?
Impatient for my response, she moves forward having her face an inch away to mine then she repeats her question, “If I answer all your question, will you come out and play with me?”
“I guess so?” I’ve run out of words and that’s the only thing I answered.
“That means ‘yes’ right?! Yay!” and to my surprise she suddenly grabs my hands and sways it up and down as she smiles in enthusiasm, “Who am I in this hospital? I’m a patient as well. Why did I enter your room? Checking out for company, I’m bored. Am I the one who was knocking from the next room? Yaa, I’m the girl next door.”
As soon as she had filled all my questions she stands up pulling my hands with her, I hesitate to get off my bed, “Let’s go! Promise is a promise!”
“But,” I didn’t promise.. “Oh well, let’s go. But just a minute, lemme get my jacket.”
I remove her hand from holding me and went to the cabinet that is in the side of the room, I took my jacket that is hanged and wear it while observing the weird Shekinah. Who sitting in the side of the bed and looking at her feet that is swaying back and forth. When I finish wearing my jacket, I took my shoes below the cabinet and wear it.
I think she’s harmless that’s why having a company for tonight is not such a bad idea.
“Let’s go?” she asks excitedly.
“Wait, how ’bout you? Aren’t you going to get dressed? It’s only Spring and it’ll be cold outside especially with just a hospital gown.”
She inspects herself, up and down, then she shakes her head, “Nah! I don’t have any jackets with me. Neither shoes.”
“In your room?”
“Neither.”
“Then what do you have?” I ask.
“Nothing.” she smiles, Argh, then why did she want to go out if she has nothing to cover her from the coldness outside?
“What is wrong with this’ girl.” I mumbled in filipino afterall she won’t understand me.
“well, I can borrow your socks..” she head to my cabinet and rummage it for a pair of socks.
“And then I can get your blankie,” after she wore the socks she went back to the bed and took the bed sheet from the bed and covered it to herself. Now, she’s all white with the sheet covered to her. Then she bows her head and she places her hair on her face leaving only some s.p.a.ces to her eyes which is visibly black and white in the moonlight’s reflection. She raises her hand and twitch to her image, “Awoo.”
“Cut it out!” I freaked out. She absolutely looks like the ring girl and it’s creeping me out.
“Hahaha!” she raises her head abruptly and her hair fly back to where it was. And she teases, “Scared were you?”
“Almost! You’re likely the duplicate of sadako! Bah! Let’s go, stop with your sillyness.” I head to the door and she follows.
“Ssh.” I hush with my index finger on my lip, “We need to be careful with the nurses, they go back and forth. It’ll be trouble if we get caught.”
“Aye aye captain!” she raises her both thumb and she giggles.
Unconsciously, I pat her head. She looked so adorable that I can’t resist.
—
“Here,” she points to the emergency exit door, “We can’t use the front door ‘coz there will be guards.”
“Then, let’s head out.” I said.
Upon exposed to the outside, cold breeze gave me the shiver and it’s the same for her.
“It’s so cold.” I said in filipino.
“What?”
“Ah, nothing. It’s cold eh? There’s still the winter’s air.” I said.
“Well, April’s yet to come. Spring just about to bloom.” she explained while heading down the stairs of the emergency exit.
“Yeah, and there was you wanting to go out in a hospital gown that doesn’t even reach your knees.” she just sticks her tongue out on my sarcasm.
“Now that we’re on the ground, what’re we gonna do?” I ask.
“I dunno.”
“How come you don’t know?” wow just wow, this girl is the weirdest of all the people I met, “You invited me, you should atleast have an idea of what to do.”
“I dunno.” she repeated while shaking her head.
“Good heavens,” I place my palm on my forehead, “C’mon, let’s just have a walk.”
We walk, side by side. I don’t know where to go, I just followed where my feet is heading me.
“Ah yeah, would you mind if I ask what you have? I mean why are you in the hospital?” I ask her suddenly while we are walking, atleast to have a little conversation.
“I’m not telling.” she smiles at me and it must be my imagination or the drowsiness that makes me see her a way bit transparent under the moon’s light pa.s.sing through her pallid skin.
“I’m not telling,” she smiled then hop until she sat on the pavement, “How ’bout you?”
I walk towards her and sit beside her, I mimic her, “I’m not telling.”
She glares at me, “Copydog.”
“Cat.” I corrected.
“Dog,” nevertheless, she insisted.
I just sigh to her almost irritating persistence, “Fine. Dog, puppy or whatever.”
“Pffft. Tell me! Tell me!” she said.
“What?!”
“Your sickness!” she answered.
“You won’t tell me yours so why would I?”
“Argh.” she bits her lower lip, “I’m a constant liar. I tell mix truth and lies so it will be up to you if you wanna believe it. So you still want to ask me the same question?”
So, she’s a liar?
“Sure, why not.” so what if she’s liar? Atleast she warned me, so I won’t have any reasons to believe in her words.
“You said so,” she put her arms in her knees and lie her head there, then she turns at me. “I have asthma, been staying here for a month and some weeks.”
“Asthma,” I nod, “That bad?”
“Nah…” she answered.
“Then why that long?”
“Dunno. Time after time, bad attacks come. But nothing deadly or suffocating.” She said.
“I see.”
“So what about you? Ah, yeah, I haven’t ask your name yet.” she ask me.
“It’s Allen. I’m actually dying.” she was shock and raised her head when she heard me said that.
“You’re dying?!” she ask.
“Sort of.” confusion is clearly written in her face. “I’ve got heart problems, heard about those attacks that in one blow might kill you?”
She nods and I continue, “I’m one of those lucky b.a.s.t.a.r.ds who has that. Everyday my body worsen. I’m staying in the hospital ‘coz in 3days I’ll be having my operation.”
“Then you do have a transplant! So why are you saying that you’re dying?! Ain’t a transplant a sign of living and not dying?” She said.
“Yeah, big deal.” I laugh in sarcasm, “Not when chances are not even the half of a hundred.”
“You whiner!”
“What kind of heck accusation should that be?!” I said in a slightly annoy-surprise tone.
“In life, percentage is just a number! Transplant is always a transplant! Why are you such a pessimist?!” She said.
“What sense there is in a 20% chance of success?!” why am I debating about my life in this weird creepy girl? It’s annoying me.
“And what sense there is to waste the heart that is about to be given to you?! Atleast believe! Atleast have a 100% faith? 20 plus 100 makes 120% surpa.s.sing the hundred!” she scolds me.
“Don’t teach me math! I know better!” I answered her.
“I’m not teaching you math,” she began to calm, “I’m teaching you to believe more than beyond.”
“Shut up.” it gets depressing whenever I hear such conversation.
“You don’t know the feeling of being dead when you’re alive.” I cover my hand in my face and started to feel depress.
“You mean being between life and death?” she said.
“Yeah! Exactly! That feeling of not knowing if it’s life or death for you, that feeling of being in the middle of two skysc.r.a.per. That feeling… That..” I am now stammering, trembling. I don’t what words to say, I can’t explain it. I don’t know what to say, “That feeling of being in between, that middle that I don’t even know how to call it..”
“Middle..” she mumbles to herself.
I remove my hand from my face and face her in agony, “Tell me Shekinah, what’s in between life and death? Where am I?? If you can tell me what’s inbetween them.. Then maybe that’s where I am right now.”
She gazes at me but not too long she stands up and stretches her hand to me, “Let me tell you Allen that between life and death is hope. That’s where you are now. Let’s go?”
“W-where?” confused and surprised, I managed to ask.
“Come, take my hand.” and with no doubt, I take her hand and she leads me to every roads of hope.
She never said anything wise, she never said anything helpful, she never said anything inspiring or convincing but…
She told me something that has captivated a part of me.. My soon-to-go-away heart.
TL: What do you think is Shekinah’s real illness? Who can guess? And guess who she really is..