"At least until he went back for his GED, and by then he was middle-aged going on old." Al shook his head. "What a waste."
"Bulls.h.i.t," I said. "A good life is never wasted. Could it have been better? Yes. Can I make that happen? Based on yesterday, maybe I can. But that"s really not the point."
"Then what is? Because to me this looks like Carolyn Poulin all over again, and that case is already proved. Yes, you can change the past. And no, the world doesn"t just pop like a balloon when you do it. Would you pour me a fresh cup of coffee, Jake? And get yourself one while you"re at it. It"s hot, and you look like you could use one."
While I was pouring the coffee, I spied some sweet rolls. When I offered him one, he shook his head. "Solid food hurts going down. But if you"re determined to make me swallow calories, there"s a six-pack of Ensure in the fridge. In my opinion it tastes like chilled snot, but I can choke it down."
When I brought it in one of the wine goblets I"d spied in his cupboard, he laughed hard. "Think that"ll make it taste any better?"
"Maybe. If you pretend it"s pinot noir."
He drank half of it, and I could see him struggling with his gorge to keep it down. That was a battle he won, but he pushed the goblet away and picked up the coffee mug again. Didn"t drink from it, just wrapped his hands around it, as if trying to take some of its warmth into himself. Watching this, I recalculated the amount of time he might have left.
"So," he said. "Why is this different?"
If he hadn"t been so sick, he would have seen it for himself. He was a bright guy. "Because Carolyn Poulin was never a very good test case. You didn"t save her life, Al, only her legs. She went on to have a good but completely normal existence on both tracks-the one where Cullum shot her and the one where you stepped in. She never married on either track. There were no kids on either track. It"s like . . ." I fumbled. "No offense, Al, but what you did was like a doctor saving an infected appendix. Great for the appendix, but it"s never going to do anything vital even if it"s healthy. Do you see what I"m saying?"
"Yes." But I thought he looked a little peeved. "Carolyn Poulin looked like the best I could do, buddy. At my age, time is limited even when you"re healthy. I had my eyes on a bigger prize."
"I"m not criticizing. But the Dunning family makes a better test case, because it"s not just a young girl paralyzed, terrible as something like that must have been for her and her family. We"re talking about four people murdered and a fifth maimed for life. Also, we know him. After he got his GED, I brought him down to the diner for a burger, and when you saw his cap and gown, you paid. Remember that?"
"Yeah. That"s when I took the picture for my Wall."
"If I can do this-if I can stop his old man from swinging that hammer-do you think that picture will still be there?"
"I don"t know," Al said. "Maybe not. I might not even remember it was there in the first place."
That was a little too theoretical for me, and I pa.s.sed it without comment. "And think about the three other kids-Troy, Ellen, and Tugga. Surely some of them will get married if they live to grow up. And maybe Ellen becomes a famous comedian. Doesn"t he say in there that she was as funny as Lucille Ball?" I leaned forward. "The only thing I want is a better example of what happens when you change a watershed moment. I need that before I go monkeying with something as big as the Kennedy a.s.sa.s.sination. What do you say, Al?"
"I say that I see your point." Al struggled to his feet. It was painful to watch him, but when I started to get up, he waved me back. "Nah, stay there. I"ve got something for you. It"s in the other room. I"ll get it."
7.
It was a tin box. He handed it to me and told me to carry it into the kitchen. He said it would be easier to lay stuff out on the table. When we were seated, he unlocked it with a key he wore around his neck. The first thing he took out was a bulky manila envelope. He opened it and shook out a large and untidy pile of paper money. I plucked one leaf from all that lettuce and looked at it wonderingly. It was a twenty, but instead of Andrew Jackson on the face, I saw Grover Cleveland, who would probably not be on anyone"s top ten list of great American presidents. On the back was a locomotive and a steamship that looked destined for a collision beneath the words FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE.
"This looks like Monopoly money."
"It"s not. And there"s not as much there as it probably looks like, because there are no bills bigger than a twenty. These days, when a fill-up can run you thirty, thirty-five dollars, a fifty raises no eyebrows even at a convenience store. Back then it"s different, and raised eyebrows you don"t need."
"This is your gambling dough?"
"Some. It"s mostly my savings. I worked as a cook between "58 and "62, same as here, and a man on his own can save a lot, especially if he don"t run with expensive women. Which I didn"t. Or cheap ones, for that matter. I stayed on friendly terms with everybody and got close to n.o.body. I advise you to do the same. In Derry, and in Dallas, if you go there." He stirred the money with one thin finger. "There"s a little over nine grand, best I can remember. It buys what sixty would today."
I stared at the cash. "Money comes back. It stays, no matter how many times you use the rabbit-hole." We"d been over this point, but I was still trying to get it through my head.
"Yeah, although it"s still back there, too-complete reset, remember?"
"Isn"t that a paradox?"
He looked at me, haggard, patience wearing thin. "I don"t know. Asking questions that don"t have answers is a waste of time, and I don"t have much."
"Sorry, sorry. What else have you got in there?"
"Not much. But the beauty of it is that you don"t need much. It was a very different time, Jake. You can read about it in the history books, but you can"t really understand it until you"ve lived there for awhile." He pa.s.sed me a Social Security card. The number was 005-52-0223. The name was George T. Amberson. Al took a pen out of the box and handed it to me. "Sign it."
I took the pen, which was a promotional giveaway. Written on the barrel was TRUST YOUR CAR TO THE MAN WHO WEARS THE STAR TEXACO. Feeling a little like Daniel Webster making his pact with the devil, I signed the card. When I tried to give it back to him, he shook his head.
The next item was George T. Amberson"s Maine driver"s license, which stated I was six feet five, blue eyes, brown hair, weight one-ninety. I had been born on April 22, 1923, and lived at 19 Bluebird Lane in Sabattus, which happened to be my 2011 address.
"Six-five about right?" Al asked. "I had to guess."
"Close enough." I signed the driver"s license, which was your basic piece of cardboard. Color: Bureaucratic Beige. "No photo?"
"State of Maine"s years away on that, buddy. The other forty-eight, too."
"Forty-eight?"
"Hawaii won"t be a state until next year."
"Oh." I felt a little out of breath, as if someone had just punched me in the gut. "So . . . you get stopped for speeding, and the cop just a.s.sumes you are who this card claims you are?"
"Why not? If you say something about a terrorist attack in 1958, people are gonna think you"re talking about teenagers tipping cows. Sign these, too."
He handed me a Hertz Courtesy Card, a Cities Service gas card, a Diners Club card, and an American Express card. The Amex was celluloid, the Diners Club cardboard. George Amberson"s name was on them. Typed, not printed.
"You can get a genuine plastic Amex card next year, if you want."
I smiled. "No checkbook?"
"I coulda got you one, but what good would it do you? Any paperwork I filled out on George Amberson"s behalf would be lost in the next reset. Also any cash I put into the account."
"Oh." I felt like a dummy. "Right."
"Don"t get down on yourself, all this is still new to you. You"ll want to start an account, though. I"d suggest no more than a thousand. Keep most of the dough in cash, and where you can grab it."
"In case I have to come back in a hurry."
"Right. And the credit cards are just ident.i.ty-backers. The actual accounts I opened to get them are going to be wiped out when you go back through. They might come in handy, though-you can never tell."
"Does George get his mail at Nineteen Bluebird Lane?"
"In 1958, Bluebird Lane"s just an address on a Sabattus plat map, buddy. The development where you live hasn"t been built yet. If anybody asks you about that, just say it"s a business thing. They"ll buy it. Business is like a G.o.d in "58-everybody worships it but n.o.body understands it. Here."
He tossed me a gorgeous man"s wallet. I gaped at it. "Is this ostrich?"
"I wanted you to look prosperous," Al said. "Find some pictures to put in it along with your identification. I got you some other odds and ends, too. More ballpoint pens, one a fad item with a combination letter-opener and ruler on the end. A Scripto mechanical pencil. A pocket protector. In "58 they"re considered necessary, not nerdy. A Bulova watch on a Speidel chrome expansion band-all the cool cats will dig that one, daddy. You can sort the rest out for yourself." He coughed long and hard, wincing. When he stopped, sweat was standing out on his face in large drops.
"Al, when did you put all this together?"
"When I realized I wasn"t going to make it into 1963, I left Texas and came home. I already had you in mind. Divorced, no children, smart, best of all, young. Oh, here, almost forgot. This is the seed everything else grew from. Got the name off a gravestone in the St. Cyril"s boneyard and just wrote an application letter to the Maine Secretary of State."
He handed me my birth certificate. I ran my fingers over the embossed franking. It had a silky official feel.
When I looked up, I saw he"d put another sheet of paper on the table. It was headed SPORTS 19581963. "Don"t lose it. Not only because it"s your meal ticket, but because you"d have a lot of questions to answer if it fell into the wrong hands. Especially when the picks start to prove out."
I started to put everything back into the box, and he shook his head. "I"ve got a Lord Buxton briefcase for you in my closet, all nicely battered around the edges."
"I don"t need it-I"ve got my backpack. It"s in the trunk of my car."
He looked amused. "Where you"re going, n.o.body wears backpacks except Boy Scouts, and they only wear them when they"re going on hikes and Camporees. You"ve got a lot to learn, buddy, but if you step careful and don"t take chances, you"ll get there."
I realized I was really going to do this, and it was going to happen right away, with almost no preparation. I felt like a visitor to the London docks of the seventeenth century who suddenly becomes aware he"s about to be shanghaied.
"But what do I do?" This came out in a near bleat.
He raised his eyebrows-bushy and now as white as the thinning hair on his head. "You save the Dunning family. Isn"t that what we"ve been talking about?"
"I don"t mean that. What do I do when people ask me how I make my living? What do I say?"
"Your rich uncle died, remember? Tell them you"re piecing your windfall inheritance out a little at a time, making it last long enough for you to write a book. Isn"t there a frustrated writer inside every English teacher? Or am I wrong about that?"
Actually, he wasn"t.
He sat looking at me-haggard, far too thin, but not without sympathy. Perhaps even pity. At last he said, very softly, "It"s big, isn"t it?"
"It is," I said. "And Al . . . man . . . I"m just a little guy."
"You could say the same of Oswald. A pipsqueak who shot from ambush. And according to Harry Dunning"s theme, his father"s just a mean drunk with a hammer."
"He"s not even that anymore. He died of acute stomach poisoning in Shawshank State Prison. Harry said it was probably bad squeeze. That"s-"
"I know what squeeze is. I saw plenty when I was stationed in the Philippines. Even drank some, to my sorrow. But he"s not dead where you"re going. Oswald, either."
"Al . . . I know you"re sick, and I know you"re in pain. But can you come down to the diner with me? I . . ." For the first and last time, I used his habitual form of address. "Buddy, I don"t want to start this alone. I"m scared."
"Wouldn"t miss it." He hooked a hand under his armpit and stood up with a grimace that rolled his lips back to the gumlines. "You get the briefcase. I"ll get dressed."
8.
It was quarter to eight when Al unlocked the door of the silver trailer that the Famous Fatburger called home. The glimmering chrome fixtures behind the counter looked ghostly. The stools seemed to whisper no one will sit on us again. The big old-fashioned sugar shakers seemed to whisper back no one will pour from us again-the party"s over.
"Make way for L.L. Bean," I said.
"That"s right," Al said. "The f.u.c.king march of progress."
He was out of breath, panting, but didn"t pause to rest. He led me behind the counter and to the pantry door. I followed, switching the briefcase with my new life inside it from one hand to the other. It was the old-fashioned kind, with buckles. If I"d carried it into my homeroom at LHS, most of the kids would have laughed. A few others-those with an emerging sense of style-might have applauded its retro funk.
Al opened the door on the smells of vegetables, spices, coffee. He once more reached past my shoulder to turn on the light. I gazed at the gray linoleum floor the way a man might stare at a pool that could well be filled with hungry sharks, and when Al tapped me on the shoulder, I jumped.
"Sorry," he said, "but you ought to take this." He was holding out a fifty-cent piece. Half a rock. "The Yellow Card Man, remember him?"
"Sure I do." Actually I"d forgotten all about him. My heart was beating hard enough to make my eyeb.a.l.l.s feel like they were pulsing in their sockets. My tongue tasted like an old piece of carpet, and when he handed me the coin, I almost dropped it.
He gave me a final critical look. "The jeans are okay for now, but you ought to stop at Mason"s Menswear on upper Main Street and get some slacks before you head north. Pendletons or khaki twill is fine for everyday. Ban-Lon for dress."
"Ban-Lon?"
"Just ask, they"ll know. You"ll also need to get some dress shirts. Eventually a suit. Also some ties and a tie clip. Buy yourself a hat, too. Not a baseball cap, a nice summer straw."
There were tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. This frightened me more thoroughly than anything he"d said.
"Al? What"s wrong?"
"I"m just scared, same as you are. No need for an emotional parting scene, though. If you"re coming back, you"ll be here in two minutes no matter how long you stay in "58. Just time enough for me to start the coffeemaker. If it works out, we"ll have a nice cup together, and you can tell me all about it."
If. What a big word.
"You could say a prayer, too. There"d be time for that, wouldn"t there?"
"Sure. I"ll be praying that it goes nice and smooth. Don"t get so dazed by where you are that you forget you"re dealing with a dangerous man. More dangerous than Oswald, maybe."
"I"ll be careful."
"Okay. Keep your mouth shut as much as you can until you pick up the lingo and the feel of the place. Go slow. Don"t make waves."
I tried to smile, but I"m not sure I made it. The briefcase felt very heavy, as if it were filled with rocks instead of money and bogus ID. I thought I might faint. And yet, G.o.d help me, part of me still wanted to go. Couldn"t wait to go. I wanted to see the USA in my Chevrolet; America was asking me to call.
Al held out his thin and trembling hand. "Good luck, Jake. G.o.d bless."
"George, you mean."
"George, right. Now get going. As they say back then, it"s time for you to split the scene."