Five.
Linnette McAfee"s heart was broken. She"d been in love for the first time in her life and it was over. Just like that. Over. Cal had gone off to rescue wild horses and while he was away, he"d fallen in love with Vicki Newman, the local vet.
Linnette still couldn"t understand how it had happened-and yet, she could. It was her. Something was wrong with her. Not Cal. Not Vicki. Her. Fresh tears filled her eyes as she indulged in this bout of self-pity.
The doorbell chimed and she jumped at the sound. The last thing she wanted now was company. It could only be one of two people-her mother or her sister, Gloria-and she wasn"t in the mood to deal with either of them.
Everyone was angry with her because she"d decided to leave Cedar Cove. Her friends at work, especially Chad Timmons, had said that if anyone left, it should be Cal. Well, he wasn"t leaving, and Linnette didn"t have it in her to watch Cal and Vicki together and pretend her heart wasn"t broken. All right, she was overreacting. She was being overdramatic. But she didn"t care.
The doorbell chimed again, longer this time. She couldn"t ignore it, so she wiped the tears from her cheeks and forced a smile. It crumpled the instant she saw her mother.
"Hi, Mom."
Corrie McAfee opened the screen door and stepped into the second-floor apartment. With comforting, cooing sounds, she put her arms around Linnette. "Oh, honey, I"m so sorry."
"I know, I know." Despite her efforts to be strong, Linnette buried her face in her mother"s shoulder. Sometimes a girl needed her mother and Linnette wasn"t too proud to admit it.
"Let me make some tea," Corrie said, leading her into the kitchen.
While Linnette sat at the small table and pulled one tissue after another from the box, her mother set a kettle of water on the stove.
"I was hoping to leave before this," Linnette blubbered between hiccuping sobs. She wanted her mother to understand that she wasn"t going to be talked out of moving. "But the clinic needs me until a replacement can be hired and trained."
"You are going to stay a bit longer, aren"t you?"
Linnette didn"t have any other choice. She couldn"t let the clinic go short-staffed; she"d worked there since it opened and the place meant a lot to her. But her job wasn"t the only problem. She"d signed a lease for the apartment and it was either pay the rent or find someone to sublet. That very day, she"d posted an ad online and in the local paper. She"d also talked to a rental agent. Unless she managed to get someone to take over the lease, she"d have to stay much longer than she wanted to.
"I can"t stand to see you hurting like this," Corrie said, taking two mugs from the cupboard. "This is as hard on me as it is on you. I don"t know what Cal was thinking."
"Oh, Mom! Cal can love anyone he wants." Even after he"d ended the relationship, she couldn"t stop defending him. That was another reason she had to leave. Linnette still loved Cal, and because of that, she wanted him to be happy. If it meant he was with another woman, then...then she"d simply leave.
The kettle whistled and steam shot into the air. Her mother removed it from the burner and poured the boiling water into the waiting pot, then added tea leaves. When she"d finished, she carried the pot of steeping tea to the kitchen table.
Years ago, when Linnette was a schoolgirl, her mother had made tea for her whenever she was sick. But it wasn"t the flu or a stomachache that bothered her now, and she seriously doubted a cup of tea would ease her aching heart.
"I"ve decided to put my things in storage," Linnette said. She"d been considering what to do with her furniture for some time. Not that she had much to store. At first she"d a.s.sumed she could keep her belongings in her parents" bas.e.m.e.nt, but then she realized it was her responsibility, not her parents".
"Dad and I can keep them for you," her mother offered, exactly as Linnette had known she would.
"No, Mom, this is what I"m doing." It would be easy to let her mother talk her out of her plans. The whole process would start with something small, some favor like the one she"d just suggested, and then gradually, Corrie would wear her down. Next thing she knew, Linnette would be staying in Cedar Cove.
Her mother seemed surprised by Linnette"s persistence and shrugged her shoulders. "If you"re sure."
"I am," Linnette reiterated.
Corrie reached for the teapot and filled both their cups, muttering, "It"s a waste of good money."
"Perhaps."
"So..." Corrie tensed. "Where do you plan to go?"
"I don"t know yet," Linnette said noncommittally.
This news appeared to startle her mother. "You mean to say you"re just heading out the door with no destination in mind?"
Linnette nodded. "I guess so."
"That"s so unlike you." Corrie looked even more distressed.
"I"m sorry, Mom, but..." Linnette didn"t know how to finish her response; she had nothing rea.s.suring to say.
Her mother was right. Acting this impulsively was unlike her. She craved structure, needed it. Once she"d decided to become a physician a.s.sistant, she"d listed all the required courses, and calculated how long it would take to obtain her degree. Then, with the full force of her determination, she"d set out to achieve it. Never before, not on a trip or in life, had she left without a road map. Until now.
"In other words, you"re running away," her mother said anxiously.
Linnette had no intention of denying it. "You could say that." She took a sip of tea and not surprisingly it burned her mouth. She set down the mug.
"Do you think that"s wise?"
"Probably not. I"ll admit it"s not a rational decision, Mom. I"m responding to pain. I"m fully aware that none of this makes sense to you or anyone else. All I can tell you is that leaving feels right."
"Cal should move," Corrie said in a stubborn voice.
"Mother!"
"He doesn"t have family here and you do."
"No one has to move anywhere," she said. "I"m the one who wants to get out of Cedar Cove."
"Then go," her mother said. "But don"t do it like this," she pleaded. "Request a leave of absence from work. Take however long you need. But to quit like this, pack up your belongings and move out of your apartment, it"s so..."
"Drastic?" Linnette inserted.
"Yes, drastic," her mother agreed. "I can"t imagine why you feel the need to flee like this with...with your tail between your legs. You didn"t do anything wrong."
"Cal and Vicki didn"t either. I"m walking away because I"m the one who"s hurting."
"And therefore the one least qualified to be making this kind of decision," her mother said.
"Mother, don"t you see..." Linnette began. She sighed. "It"s time for me to do something that"s more...out of my comfort zone. My life is so regimented, so...so, I don"t know, so perfect."
"In other words, you"re looking for a way to screw it up?"
That made Linnette smile. "No. I"m looking for a way to escape. I"m seeking adventure," she said grandly.
"But you"ve always been so responsible."
"Exactly my point," Linnette told her. "I"m tired of meeting all these expectations."
Her mother"s eyes narrowed. "Your father and I never meant-"
"Mom." Linnette leaned across the table and placed a hand on her mother"s arm. "It"s not your expectations I"m talking about but my own. I"m the one who put them on myself. As of right now, I"m taking a long, hard look at my life. I"m setting out to discover what I really want. All I know is that it isn"t in Cedar Cove."
Her mother seemed about to break into tears. "And you have to run away from your family?"
"Yes." It was the simple, straightforward truth.
"Oh." Corrie picked up her tea and her lips trembled as she bent to take a sip.
Linnette understood how difficult this was for her mother. "Think about the positive side, Mom," she said, forcing a note of cheerful optimism into her voice.
"What"s positive about my daughter running away?" Corrie asked.
"Well, this"ll be a wonderful opportunity for you and Gloria to get to know each other without me there always directing the conversation."
Her mother"s eyes widened. The situation with Gloria remained awkward, although everyone was trying to make her feel like part of the family. Gloria had been given up for adoption as an infant and then found her biological family. She was a full-blooded sister Linnette had never known she had-or at least not until two years ago.
A little while before that, Linnette had moved practically next door to her own sister and they"d struck up a friendship. Gloria had been a tremendous comfort to Linnette since her breakup with Cal.
"I love you both equally," her mother said in low tones. "I always have."
"Of course you do, Mom, but you don"t really know Gloria. Like I said, this is your chance to bond without me being there." So far, it"d always been the three of them. Now, both Gloria and their mother could benefit from some private time together. Without Linnette who, as she readily acknowledged, tended to be the center of attention.
She finished her tea and, feeling a little stronger-perhaps the tea had helped-she brought her cup to the sink. Her mother stood, too. "I should go. Your father expected me back at the office half an hour ago."
"I"m surprised that he didn"t call your cell."
Corrie smiled. "I suspect he knew where I was."
She was probably right. Linnette admired her parents" marriage and the way they understood each other, the way they worked together. It was what she wanted for her own marriage and was determined to have one day.
Her mother left soon afterward. Linnette hugged her, and they both managed to smile, despite Corrie"s disappointment. Everything she"d said was true, and yet nothing was going to change. Linnette instinctively knew she"d made the right decision. She needed to leave Cedar Cove.
She rinsed out the cups and set them in the dishwasher. She"d just returned to her packing when the doorbell rang again. It would be either her brother, Mack, or Gloria, she figured. Most likely Gloria.
But Linnette was in for a shock. Vicki Newman, the woman Cal loved, stood on the other side of the screen door. For a long moment the two women did nothing but stare at each other.
"I hope you don"t mind that I"ve come," Vicki said shyly, her brown eyes imploring Linnette.
"Does Cal know you"re here?" Linnette couldn"t help glancing over the woman"s shoulder. Then she looked back at Vicki, with her plain face-there was no other word for it-and her carelessly braided hair. And yet Linnette had begun to realize why Cal loved her so much. For one thing they shared a view of the world, including their pa.s.sion for animals; Vicki was a veterinarian and Cal a horse-trainer who worked for Grace Harding"s husband. The way it had all happened, though-Linnette still found that hard to believe. But she respected him for caring so deeply that he was willing to stand up to the barrage of criticism directed at him because of the pain he"d caused Linnette.
In response to Linnette"s question, Vicki shook her head. "Cal wouldn"t like it if he found out I"d stopped by."
Knowing him as well as she did, Linnette agreed. Unlatching the screen door, she pushed it open to allow the other woman inside.
As Vicki walked into the apartment, her gaze darted about the room, taking in the boxes that littered the floor. "So it"s true. You are moving."
Linnette ignored her comment and gestured toward the sofa. "Would you like to sit down?"
Vicki declined with a shake of her head. She gazed down at the carpet. "I heard you were leaving, and I just wanted to tell you how...how sorry I am."
"Sorry that I"m leaving?"
"No...sorry that I hurt you."
"Don"t worry about it."
"I..." Vicki looked up then and seemed to reach some decision. "I"ve been in love with Cal for a long time," she said. "Long before he met you. He didn"t know it and I...I didn"t know how to tell him, so I said nothing. I never thought he could possibly love me."
"It"s because of Cal that you volunteered to help with the mustang rescue, isn"t it?"
Vicki nodded. "Well...partly. The cause is important to me too, of course. Anything to do with horses..."
"I understand." After a brief silence, she asked, "You knew about me?"
Vicki nodded again. "I tried not to love him."
Linnette wasn"t sure of the other woman"s purpose in confronting her. Perhaps she felt guilty. Perhaps because of that she was hoping Linnette would yell at her, curse her, condemn her for taking the man Linnette loved. A week earlier, that was exactly what might have happened. Not now. "I"m the one who"s trying not to love him," Linnette whispered.
"I"m sure there"ll be lots of other opportunities for you. You"ll find someone else to love-someone who"ll love you," Vicki said urgently. "But for me..." She cleared her throat. "I communicate better with animals than I do with people. I always have. As soon as I met Cal, I felt we should be together. He has the same feeling about animals."
Linnette suddenly had a sharp clear memory of the time she"d come to visit Cal and overheard him crooning to an injured horse. He hadn"t known she was there. Linnette had felt as if she was intruding on a private moment, a private world.
"Cal"s asked me to marry him," Vicki said in a low voice. "I want to..."
"Then you should," Linnette said.
"We both feel so guilty."
"Don"t, please." She reached out to touch Vicki"s arm. In the beginning she"d hated this woman, but she no longer felt that way. "I want you both to be happy."
"You mean that?" Vicki asked, frowning.
"With all my heart." Linnette took a deep breath. "If you"ve come looking for my absolution, then you have it."
"Can I tell Cal we"ve talked?"
Linnette nodded. "You"re right, you know. I will find someone else." For the first time she actually believed it.