Victoria remembered without joy: a sign of total flatness, for the mind that does not glow at the thought of the glamorous past is dulled indeed. Piccadilly struck her now rather as a show and a poor one, a show of the inefficients basking, of the wretched shuffling by. And the savagery that was upon her waxed fat. Without ideals of ultimate brotherhood or love she could not help thinking, half amused, of the dismay that would come over London if a bomb were suddenly to raze to the ground one of these shrines of men.
The bus stopped in a block just opposite one of the clubs; and Victoria, from the off-side seat, could see across the road into one of the rooms.
There were in it a dozen men of all ages, most of them standing in small groups, some already in evening-dress; some lolled on enormous padded chairs reading, and, against the mantlepiece where a fire burned brightly, a youth was telling an obviously successful story to a group of oldsters. Their ease, their conviviality and facile friendship stung Victoria; she felt an outcast. What had she now to do with these men?
They would not know her. Their sphere was their father"s sphere, by right of birth and wealth, not hers who had not the right of wealth.
Besides, perhaps some were shareholders in the P.R.R. Painfully shambling down the steps, Victoria got off the bus and entered the Green Park. She sat down on a seat under a tree just bursting into bud.
For many minutes she looked at the young gra.s.s, at the windows where lights were appearing, at a man seated near by and puffing rich blue smoke from his cigar. A loafer lay face down on the gra.s.s, like a bundle. Her moods altered between rage, as she looked at the two men, and misery as she realised that her lot was cast with the wretch grovelling on the cold earth.
She noticed that the man with the cigar was watching her, but hardly looked at him. He was fat, that was all she knew. Her eyes once more fastened on the loafer. He had not fought the world; would she? and how?
Now and then he turned a little in his sleep, dreaming perhaps of feasts in c.o.c.kayne, perhaps of the skilly he had tasted in gaol, of love perhaps, bright-eyed, master of the gates. It was cold, for the snap of winter was in the spring air; in the pale western sky the roofs loomed black. Already the dull glow of London light rose like a halo over the town. Victoria did not seem to feel the wind; she was a little numb, her legs felt heavy as lead. A gust of wind carried into her face a few drops of rain.
The man with the cigar got up, slowly pa.s.sed her; there was something familiar in his walk. He turned so as to see her face in the light of a gas-lamp. Then he took three quick steps towards her. Her heart was already throbbing; she felt and yet did not know.
"Victoria," said the man in a faint, far away voice.
Victoria gasped, put her hand on her heart, swaying on the seat. The man sat down by her side and took her hand.
"Victoria," he said again. There was in his voice a rich quality.
"Oh, Major Cairns, Major Cairns," she burst out. And clasping his hand between hers, she laid her face upon it. He felt all her body throb; there were tears on his hands. A man of the world, he very gently lifted up her chin and raised her to a sitting posture.
"There," he said softly, still retaining her hands, "don"t cry, dear, all is well. Don"t speak. I have found you."
With all the gentleness of a heavy man he softly stroked her hands.
CHAPTER XXV
TWO days later Victoria was floating in the curious ether of the unusual. It was Sunday night. She was before a little table at one of those concealed restaurants in Soho where blows fragrant the wind of France. She was sitting in a softly cushioned arm chair, grateful to arms and back, her feet propped up on a footstool. Before her lay the little table, with its rough cloth, imperfectly clean and shining dully with brittania ware. There were flowers in a small mug of Bruges pottery; there was little light save from candles discreetly veiled by pink shades. The bill of fare, rigid on its metal stem, bore the two shilling table d"hote and the more pretentious a la carte. An immense feeling of restfulness, so complete as to be positive was upon her. She felt luxurious and at large, at one with the other couples who sat near by, smiling, with possessive hands.
On the other side of the table sat Major Cairns. He had not altered very much except that he was stouter. His grey eyes still shone kindly from his rather gross face. Victoria could not make up her mind whether she liked him or not. When she met him in the park he had seemed beautiful as an archangel; he had been gentle too as big men mostly are to women, but now she could feel him examining her critically, noting her points, speculating on the change in her, wondering whether her ravaged beauty was greater and her neck softer than when he last held her in his arms off the coast of Araby.
Victoria had compacted for a quiet place. She could not, she felt, face the Pall Mall or Jermyn Street restaurants, their lights, wealth of silver and gla.s.s, their soft carpets, their silent waiters. The Major had agreed, for he knew women well and was not over-anxious to expose to the eyes of the town Victoria"s paltry clothes. Now he had her before him he began to regret that he had not risked it. For Victoria had gained as much as she had lost in looks. Her figure had shrunk, but her neck was still beautifully moulded, broad as a pillar; her colour had gone down almost to dead white; the superfluous flesh had wasted away and had left bare the splendid line of the strong chin and jaw. Her eyes, however, were the magnet that held Cairns fast. They were as grey as ever, but dilated and thrown into contrast with the pale skin by the purple zone which surrounded them. They stared before them with a novel boldness, a strange lucidity.
"Victoria," whispered Cairns leaning forward, "you are very beautiful."
Victoria laughed and a faint flush rose into her cheeks. There was still something grateful in the admiration of this man, gross and limited as he might be, centred round his pleasures, sceptical of good and evil alike. Without a word she took up a spoon and began to eat her ice.
Cairns watched every movement of her hand and wrist.
"Don"t," said Victoria after a pause. She dropped her spoon and put her hands under the table.
"Don"t what?" said Cairns.
"Look at my hands. They"re . . . Oh, they"re not what they were. It makes me feel ashamed."
"Nonsense," said Cairns with a laugh. "Your hands are still as fine as ever and, when we"ve had them manicured. . . ."
He stopped abruptly as if he had said too much.
"Manicured?" said Victoria warily, though the "we" had given her a little shock. "Oh, they"re not worth manicuring now for the sort of work I"ve got to do."
"Look here, Victoria," said Cairns rather roughly. "This can"t go on.
You"re not made to be one of the drabs. You say your work is telling on you: well, you must give it up."
"Oh, I can"t do that," said Victoria, "I"ve got to earn my living and I"m no good for anything else."
Cairns looked at her for a moment and meditatively sipped his port.
"Drink the port," he commanded, "it"ll do you good."
Victoria obeyed willingly enough. There was already in her blood the glow of Burgundy; but the port, mellow, exquisite, and curling round the tongue, coloured like burnt almonds, fragrant too, concealed a deeper joy. The smoke from Cairns" cigar, half hiding his face, floating in wreaths between them, entered her nostrils, aromatic, narcotic.
"What are you thinking of doing now?" she asked.
"I don"t know quite," said Cairns. "You see I broke my good resolution.
After my job at Perim, they offered me some surveying work near Ormuz; they call it surveying, but it"s spying really or it would be if there were anything to spy. I took it and rather enjoyed it."
"Did you have any adventures?" asked Victoria.
"Nothing to speak of except expeditions into the hinterland trying to get fresh meat. The East is overrated, I a.s.sure you. A butr landed off our station once, probably intending to turn us into able-bodied slaves.
There were only seven of us to their thirty but we killed ten with two volleys and they made off, parting with their anchor in their hurry."
Cairns looked at Victoria. The flush had not died from her cheeks. She was good to look upon.
"No," he went on more slowly, "I don"t quite know what I shall do. I meant to retire anyhow, you know, and the sudden death of my uncle, old Marmaduke Cairns, settled it. I never expected to get a look in, but there was hardly anybody else to leave anything to, except his sisters whom he hated like poison, so I"m the heir. I don"t yet know what I"m worth quite, but the old man always seemed to do himself pretty well."
"I"m glad," said Victoria. She was not. The monstrous stupidity of a system which suddenly places a man in a position enabling him to live on the labour of a thousand was obvious to her.
"I"m rather at a loose end," said Cairns musing, "you see I"ve had enough knocking about. But it"s rather dull here, you know. I"m not a marrying man either."
Victoria was disturbed. She looked at Cairns and met his eyes. There was forming in them a question. As she looked at him the expression faded and he signed to the waiter to bring the coffee.
As they sipped it they spoke little but inspected one another narrowly.
Victoria told herself that if Cairns offered her marriage she would accept him. She was not sure that ideal happiness would be hers if she did; his limitations were more apparent to her than they had been when she first knew him. Yet the alternative was the P.R.R. and all that must follow.
Cairns was turning over in his mind the question Victoria had surprised.
Though he was by no means cautious or shy, being a bold and good liver, he felt that Victoria"s present position made it difficult to be sentimental. So they talked of indifferent things. But when they left the restaurant and drove towards Finsbury Victoria came closer to him; and, unconsciously almost, Cairns took her hand, which she did not withdraw. He leant towards her. His hand grew more insistent on her arm.
She was pa.s.sive, though her heart beat and fear was upon her.
"Victoria," said Cairns, his voice strained and metallic.
She turned her face towards him. There was in it complete acquiescence.
He pa.s.sed one arm round her waist and drew her towards him. She could feel his chest crush her as he bent her back. His lips fastened on her neck greedily.
"Victoria," said Cairns again, "I want you. Come away from all this labour and pain; let me make you happy."