Queer as Curran"s is, it is comfortable enough. Victoria looked round her room, tiny in length and breadth, high however with all the dignity that befits an odd corner left over by the Victorian builder. It was distinguished by its simplicity, for the walls bore nothing whatever beyond a restrained papering of brownish roses. A small black and gold bed, a wardrobe with a white handle, a washing stand with a marble top took up all the s.p.a.ce left by the large tin trunk which contained most of Victoria"s worldly goods. So this, thought Victoria, is the beginning. She pulled aside the curtain. Before her lay Seymour Street, where alone an eye of light shone faintly from the nearest lamp post.
Through the fog came the warning noise of a lorry picking its way. It was cold, cold, all this, and lonely like an island.
Her meditations were disturbed by the maid who brought her hot water.
"My name is Carlotta," said the girl complacently depositing the can upon the marble topped washstand.
"Yes?" said Victoria. "You are a foreigner?"
"Yes. I am Italian. It is foggy," replied the girl.
Victoria sighed. It was kind of the girl to make her feel at home, to smile at her with those flashing teeth so well set in her ugly little brown face. She went to the washstand and cried out in horror at her dirt and fog begrimed face, rimmed at the eyes, furrowed on the left by the course of that tear shed at Waterloo.
"Tell them downstairs I shan"t be ready for half an hour," she said; "it"ll take me about a week to get quite clean, I should say."
Carlotta bared her white teeth again and withdrew gently as a cat, while Victoria courageously drenched her face and neck. The scents of England, already conjured up by the fog and the mutton, rose at her still more vividly from the warm water which inevitably exhales the traditional perfume of hot painted can.
Her dinner was a small affair but delightful. It was good to eat and drink once more things to which she had been accustomed for the first twenty years of her life. Her depression had vanished; she was merely hungry, and, like the healthy young animal she was, longing for a rare cut of roast beef, accompanied by the good old English potatoes boiled down to the consistency of flour and the flavour of nothing. Her companions were so normal that she could not help wondering, when her first hunger was sated and she was confronted with the apple tart of her fathers, whether she was not in the unchanging old board residence in Fulham where her mother had stayed with her whenever she came up to town, excited and conscious of being on the spree.
Two spinsters of no age discussed the fog. Both were immaculate and sat rigidly in correct att.i.tudes facing their plates. Both talked quickly and continuously in soft but high tones. They pa.s.sed one another the salt with the courtesy of abbes taking pinches of snuff. A young man from the Midlands explained to the owner of the clerical hat that under certain circ.u.mstances his food would cost him more. Near by a heavy man solemnly and steadily ate, wiping at times from his beard drops of gravy and of sauce, whilst his faded wife nibbled disconsolately tiny sc.r.a.ps of crust. These she daintily b.u.t.tered, while her four lanky girls nudged and whispered.
Victoria did not stay in the conservatory after the important meal. As she pa.s.sed through it, a mist of weariness gathering before her eyes, she had a vision of half a dozen men sleeping in cane chairs, or studying pink or white evening papers. The young man from the Midlands had captured another victim and was once more explaining that under certain circ.u.mstances his food would cost him more.
Victoria seemed to have reached the limits of physical endurance. She fumbled as she divested herself of her clothes; she could not even collect enough energy to wash. All the room seemed filled with haze.
Her tongue clove to her palate. Little tingles in her eyelids crushed them together over her pupils. She stumbled into her bed, mechanically switching off the light by her bedside. In the very act her arm lost its energy and she sank into a dreamless sleep.
Next morning she breakfasted with good appet.i.te. The fog had almost entirely lifted and sunshine soft as silver was filtering through the windows into the little dining-room. Its mahoganous ugliness was almost warmed into charm. The sideboard shone dully through its covering of coa.r.s.e net. Even the stacked cruets remembered the days when they cunningly blazed in a shop window. A pleasurable feeling of excitement ran through Victoria"s body, for she was going to discover London, to have adventures. As she closed the door behind her with a definite little slam she felt like a buccaneer.
Buccaneering in the Edgware Road, even when it is bathed in the morning sun, soon falls flat in November. It came upon Victoria rather as a shock that her Indian clothing was rather thin. As her flying visits to town had only left in her mind a very hazy picture of Regent Street it was quite unconsciously that she entered the emporium opposite. A frigid young lady sacrificed for her benefit an abominable vicuna coat which, she said, fitted Victoria like a glove. Victoria paid the twenty seven and six with an admirable feeling of recklessness and left the shop reflecting that she looked the complete charwoman.
She turned into Hyde Park, where the gentle wind was sorrowfully driving the brown and broken leaves along the rough gravel. The thin tracery of the trees imaged itself on the road like a giant cobweb. Victoria looked for a moment towards the south where the ma.s.sive buildings rise, towards the east where a cathedral thrusts into the sky a tower that suspiciously recalls waterworks. She drank in the cold air with a gusto that can be understood by none save those who have learned to live in the floating moisture of the plains. She felt young and, in the sunshine, with her cheeks gaining colour as the wind whipped them, she looked in her long black coat and broad brimmed straw hat, like a quakeress in love.
As she walked down towards the Achilles statue the early morning panorama of London unfolded itself before her un-understanding eyes.
Girls hurried by with their satchels towards the typewriting rooms of the west; they stole a look at Victoria"s face but quickly turned away from her clothes. Now and then spruce young clerks walking to the Tube slackened their pace to look twice into her grey eyes; one or two looked back, not so much in the hope of an adventure, for time could not be s.n.a.t.c.hed for Venus herself on the way to the office, as to see whether they could carry away with them the flattery of having been noticed.
In a sense that first day in London was for Victoria a day of revelations. Having despatched a telegram to her brother to announce her arrival she felt that the day was hers. Ted had not troubled to meet her either at Southampton or Waterloo: it was not likely that he had followed the sightings of her ship. The next day being a Sat.u.r.day, however, he would probably come up from the Bedfordshire school where he proffered Latin to an ungrateful generation.
Victoria"s excursions to London had been so few that she had but the faintest idea of where she was to go. Knowing, however, that one cannot lose oneself in London, she walked aimlessly towards the east. It was a voyage of discovery. Piccadilly, bathed in the pale sun, revealed itself as a land where luxury flows like rivers of milk. Victoria, being a true woman, could not pa.s.s a shop. Thus her progress was slow, so slow that when she found herself between the lions of Trafalgar Square she began to realise that she wanted her lunch.
The problem of food is cruel for all women who desire more than a bun.
They risk either inattention or over attention, and if they follow other women, they almost invariably discover the cheap and bad. Victoria hesitated for a moment on the steps of an oyster shop, as nervous in the presence of her first plunge into freedom as a novice at the side door of a p.a.w.nbroker. A man pa.s.sed by her into the oyster shop, smoking a pipe. She felt she would never dare to sit in a room where strange men smoked pipes. Thus she stood for a moment forlorn on the pavement, until a memory of the only decent grill in town, according to Bobby, pa.s.sed through her mind.
A policeman sent her by bus to the New Gaiety, patronised by Bobby and his cronies. As Victoria went down the interminable underground staircase, and especially as she entered the enormous room where paper, carpets, and plate always seem new, her courage almost failed her.
Indeed she looked round anxiously, half hoping that the anonymous Bobby might be revisiting his old haunts. But she was quite alone, and it was only by reminding herself that she must always be alone at meals now that she coerced herself into sitting down. She got through her meal with expedition. She felt frightfully small; the waiters were painfully courteous; a man laid aside his orange coloured newspaper, and embarra.s.sed her with frequent side glances. She braced herself up however. "I am training," was her uppermost thought. She then wondered whether she ought to have come to the New Gaiety at all. Fortunately it was only at the very end of her lunch that Victoria realised she was the only woman sitting alone. After this discovery her nerve failed her. She got up hurriedly, and, in her confusion, omitted to tip the waiter. At the desk the last stone was heaped on the cairn of her discomfiture when the cashier politely returned to her a quarter rupee which she had given her thinking it was a sixpence.
With a sigh of satisfaction Victoria resumed her walk through London.
She was a little tired already but she could think of nothing to do, nowhere to go to. She did not want to return to Curran"s to sit in her box-like room, or to look at the two spinsters availing themselves of their holiday in town to play patience in the conservatory.
All the afternoon, therefore, Victoria saw the sights. Covent Garden repelled her by the ma.s.siveness of its food suggestion, and especially by the choking dirt of its lanes. After Covent Garden, Savoy court yard and its announcements of intellectual plays by unknown women. Then once more, drawn by its s.p.a.ciousness guessed at through Spring Gardens, Victoria walked into Saint James"s Park. She rested awhile upon a seat, watching the waterfowl strut and plume themselves, the pelicans flounder heavily in the mud. She was tired. The sun was setting early. The magic slowly faded from London; Buckingham Palace lost the fict.i.tious grace that it has when set in a blue sky. Victoria shivered a little. She felt tired. She did not know where to go. She was alone. On the seat nearest to hers two lovers sat together, hand in hand. The man"s face was almost hidden by his cap and by the blue puffs of his pipe; the girl"s was averted towards the ground where, with the ferule of her umbrella, she lazily drew signs. There was no bitterness in this sight for Victoria.
Her romance had come and gone so long ago that she looked quite casually at these wanderers in Arcadia. She only knew that she was alone and cold.
Victoria got up and walked out of the park. It was darkening, and little by little the lights of London were springing into life. By dint of many questionings she managed to regain Oxford Street, that spinal column of London without which the stranger would be lost. Then her course was easy, and it was with a peculiar feeling of luxuriousness that she resigned herself to the motor bus that jolted and shook her tired body until she reached the Arch. More slowly, and with diminished optimism, she found her way up Edgware Road, where night was now falling. The emporium was dazzling with lights. Alone the public house rivalled it and thrust its glare through the settling mist. Victoria closed the door of Curran"s. At once she re-entered its atmosphere; into the warm air rose the three smells of three legs of mutton.
CHAPTER V
"Mr Wren, ma"am."
Victoria turned quickly to Carlotta. The girl"s face was obtrusively demure. Some years at Curran"s had not dulled in her the interest that any woman subtly feels in the meeting of the s.e.xes.
"Ask him to come in here, Carlotta," said Victoria. "We shan"t be disturbed, shall we?"
"Oh no! ma"am," said Carlotta, with increasing demureness. "There is n.o.body, n.o.body. I will show the young gentleman in."
Victoria walked to the looking-gla.s.s which shyly peeped out from the back of the monumental sideboard. She re-arranged her hair and hurriedly flicked some dust from the corners of her eyes. All this for Edward, but she had not seen him for three years. As she turned round she was confronted by her brother who had gently stolen into the dining-room.
Edward"s every movement was un.o.btrusive. He put one arm round her and kissed her cheek.
"How are you, Victoria?" he said, looking her in the eyes.
"Oh, I"m alright, Ted. I"m so glad to see you." She was genuinely glad; it was so good to have belongings once again.
"Did you have a good pa.s.sage?" asked Edward.
"Pretty good until we got to Ushant and then it did blow. I was glad to get home."
"I"m very glad to see you," said Edward, "very glad." His eyes fixed on the sideboard as if he were mesmerised by the cruets. Victoria looked at him critically. Three years had not made on him the smallest impression. He was at twenty-eight what he had been at twenty-five or for the matter of that at eighteen. He was a tall slim figure with narrow pointed shoulders and a slightly bowed back. His face was pale without being unhealthy. There was nothing in his countenance to arouse any particular interest, for he had those average features that commit no man either to coa.r.s.eness or to intellectuality. He showed no trace of the ma.s.siveness of his sister"s chin; his mouth too was looser and hung a little open. Alone his eyes, richly grey, recalled his relationship.
Straggly fair hair fell across the left side of his forehead. He peered through silver rimmed spectacles as he nervously worried his watch chain with both hands. Every movement exposed the sharpness of his knees through his worn trousers.
"Ted," said Victoria, breaking in upon the silence, "it was kind of you to come up at once."
"Of course I"d come up at once. I couldn"t leave you here alone. It must be a big change after the sunshine."
"Yes," said Victoria slowly, "it is a big change. Not only the sunshine.
Other things, you know."
Edward"s hands played still more nervously with his watch chain. He had not heard much of the manner of Fulton"s death. Victoria"s serious face encouraged him to believe that she might harrow him with details, weep even. He feared any expression of feeling, not because he was hard but because it was so difficult to know what to say. He was neither hard nor soft; he was a schoolmaster and could deal readily enough with the pangs of Andromeda but what should he say to a live woman, his sister too?
"I understand--I--you see, it"s quite awful about d.i.c.k--" he stopped, lost, groping for the proper sentiment.
"Ted," said Victoria, "don"t condole with me. I don"t want to be unkind--if you knew everything--But there, I"d rather not tell you; poor d.i.c.ky "s dead and I suppose it"s wrong, but I can"t be sorry."
Edward looked at her with some disapproval. The marriage had not been a success, he knew that much, but she ought not to speak like that. He felt he ought to reprove her, but the difficulty of finding words stopped him.
"Have you made any plans?" he asked in his embarra.s.sment, thus blundering into the subject he had intended to lead up to with infinite tact.
"Plans?" said Victoria. "Well, not exactly. Of course I shall have to work; I thought you might help me perhaps."