""I TOLD YOU… DON"T CALL ME THAT!!! ""
Xin Yong blared and the whole place became pin drop silent.
Her eyes were still closed and she was breathing heavily. Jin Yue stood like a statue as he stared at her trembling form, speechless. Xin Yong waited for a few seconds before she spoke again.
""I don"t care what you have to say, I"m done with you, Jin Yue. I"m really done! Nothing you would say now would change that, please leave me alone!! ""
She turned to leave when suddenly, as though she thought of something, she stopped and turned around.
""You are hurting me all over again, Jin Yue. I promise you this time, if I see you around me again, I"ll call the cops on you. ""
With that she stomped off, not glancing back again. Jin Yue stood still for a few minutes.
It was obvious now that she really did not want to see him. In fact, at that moment, Jin Yue knew that coming around her shattered her the more.
He head fell slowly as he thought for a while. Seeing him hurt her so he was going to stop, he did not want to cause her more pain; but that going to be after doing one last thing_ his last straw.
Jin Yue drove back to the company. He could not remember the last time he did this, high school, perhaps.
Taking out a piece of paper and a pen, he sat down, placing the paper on the table, he began writing.
Sweet,
I know seeing this letter, you would know who it is from, but please read it, I beg of you. When I"m sure this letter has gotten to you I"ll try my best not to appear in front of you again. I"ll try my best not to hurt you anymore.
There is so much I want to tell you and I wish I wouldn"t have to do this through a piece of paper.
I"m really sorry for everything, I don"t want to pa.s.s blames; I take it all on myself.
Everything that happened to you was my fault, my carelessness, irrationality, stupidity and extreme jealousy. It was my entire fault, you did not deserve anything that happened to you, and you deserved better.
I"m sorry I couldn"t give that to you.
Sweet, I know you don"t want to see me again, but you deserve to know what happened and what made me act the way I did. I"m not trying to justify my actions; I"m just trying to give you a reason to stop hurting.
You met someone, Freya? That is not her real name, her real name is Eva and we dated in the past, before I met you. When we broke up, she was hurt, so she used that man whom she called her husband to tear us apart, to get back at me.
She took photos of you both together and sent it to me, and without thinking I judged you.
Although I had asked you where you went to that day and you lied to me, it doesn"t give me enough reason to have treated you so harshly.
Sweet, I"m sorry. I really am. You went through a lot because of my actions and it really hurt to know that. It is okay if you don"t want to see me again, it"s okay if you don"t want to be with me. I"ll live the rest of my life regretting my actions and what I did to you and our unborn child.
When you asked me if I ever loved you, I lied. There was not a single second I spent not loving you.
Sweet, I want you to know that I still love you no matter what. I"m sorry, I really am.
I"ve hurt you so much that I"m ashamed of myself. I"m ashamed of the man I see in the mirror every morning. I"ll accept whatever fate brings to me, I deserve whatever punishment I"m getting.
If you are seeing this, that means you read to this point, and I"m grateful. Thank you, Sweet for coming into my life; thank you for making me a better person, I"ll spend the rest of my life cheris.h.i.+ng the moments we spent together. I love you.
Jin Yue
Jin Yue did not realize he was crying until he finished writing. He bowed his head over the table for a few seconds, getting his mind together. He had just written that he was not going to appear in front of her again, was that possible? Could he really live without seeing her?
Jin Yue imagined her seeing someone else, getting married, having a baby and his chest squeezed so hard that he lifted his hand to press on it. It hurt.
He had always wanted her to be happy but he had never imagined that one day her happiness would not involve him. It really hurt.
Jin Yue did not know how long he cried but when he was satisfied, he folded the letter and put it into a brown envelope. Opening his drawer, he took out those pictures and placed them inside the envelope.
He really wished that she would forgive him after seeing the letter. When he hadn"t found her, he was still uncertain of what his fate would be. When he found her, he didn"t want to accept that it was over because she did not know the truth yet, but after giving her that letter, anything that happened next was the last. It was the endpoint. It was either she came back to him or she bade him farewell forever.
Jin Yue"s heart beat rapidly as he stared at the envelope in his hands. After giving her that letter, there would be no reason to look for her anymore. He wouldn"t have a reason to wait outside her home wanting to catch a glimpse of her face; he wouldn"t have a reason to follow her wherever she went.
Jin Yue bit down on his lower lip as tears clouded his eyes.