Mr. Gouger, who had never been known to take so much time from his work during business hours, tried to begin his reading, but without success.
When at his usual occupation he would not have been disturbed by the conversation of a room full of people, so preoccupied was he with what he had to do; but on this occasion he was too much entertained with his companions to do anything but hear them through.
"Is there no such thing as unselfish love--in a woman--love that sacrifices itself for its object?" asked Roseleaf, with a trace of anxiety in his tone.
"M----m, possibly," drawled Mr. Weil. "A female animal with young sometimes evinces the possession of that sort of thing, and women may have touches of it on occasions. That will be a good point for you to remember when you are deeper in your investigations. However, I ought not to fill your head with ideas of my own. I think what we most desire in our friend," he added, turning to the critic, "is complete originality."
The young man shifted his feet nervously.
"Pardon me," he said, "would it not be well to talk with people and learn their impressions? Then I can compare these with my own experiences, when they come. You would not send a blind man out on the street unled."
Archie Weil laughed deliciously.
"You are ingenious, when you should only be ingenuous," he replied. "You do not act at all like the young man from Mars that I have in mind.
Perhaps, nevertheless, you are not wholly wrong, for even my traveler from that planet might have to ask his way to the nearest town.
Supposing you had just reached the earth, and had met me with a thousand questions. What could I answer that would be of any use?"
Mr. Roseleaf reflected a moment.
"You could tell me your idea of a perfect woman," he suggested.
"Well, I will," said Weil, glancing meaningly at Mr. Gouger. "The perfect woman is about nineteen years of age. She is neither very light nor very dark. Her eyes are hazel, with a touch of gray in them. She measures, say, five feet, four inches in height, and--about--twenty-two inches around the waist. She has a plump arm, not too fleshy, a well-made leg, a head set on her shoulders with enough neck to give it freedom and grace of movement, but not sufficient to warrant comparison with a swan, or even a goose. Her hands match her feet, being not too slender nor too dainty. Her hips are medium, but not bulging. She weighs in the vicinity of a hundred and twenty-five pounds. And her hair--there is but one color for a woman"s hair--is t.i.tian red."
The young man had taken out his note-book and rapidly sketched this list of attractions.
"Every woman cannot have t.i.tian hair," remarked Mr. Gouger. "Would you condemn one with all the other attributes on account of missing that?"
"I would, decidedly," was the reply, "when it is obtained so easily. I think it only costs two dollars a bottle, for the finest shade. Have you written it all down, Mr. Roseleaf?"
The young man ran over his notes.
"I have it--all but the hair," he said. "Of course I could not forget that."
"Very well. And this hair must be long enough, but not too long, remember, for everything unduly accentuated spoils a woman. It should hang about five inches below the waist, when unfastened, and be thick enough to make a noticeable coil. There should be sufficient to hide her face and her lover"s when he takes her in his arms."
Mr. Roseleaf started slightly.
"Then she should have a lover?" he remarked, curiously.
"Undoubtedly. Else why the hair and the arms, and the five feet four! It is a woman"s business to be loved and to make herself lovable. When you have found this woman, if she has no lover, you will be expected to officiate in that capacity. If she has one, you must supplant him as soon as possible. And when you have fallen desperately, ravingly in love with such a creature, you will not have to come to me for further advice."
The young man surveyed the speaker with the utmost gravity.
"Have _you_ ever been in love?" he inquired.
"Never."
"Why?"
"It was not necessary; _I_ did not intend to write novels," said Archie, with a laugh. "But, come, we have bothered Lawrence enough. Let us go."
He took the package containing Miss Fern"s story, and sauntered out, paying no attention to the peculiar glances that his friend, the critic, threw at him as he was leaving.
CHAPTER IV.
WITH t.i.tIAN TRESSES.
Mr. Weil deciphered the MSS. of Miss Fern with some difficulty. Not that the handwriting was particularly illegible, though it did not in the least resemble copperplate engraving; but, as Mr. Gouger had intimated, the sentences were so badly constructed, and the punctuation so different from that prescribed by the usual authorities, that he was continually obliged to go back over his tracks and hunt for meanings.
Nevertheless, within an hour from the time when he sat down in his room at the Hoffman House and opened the package he had brought, he had to confess himself deeply interested.
Miss Fern had conceived some entertaining characters, and some very unconventional situations. Her people were virile; her hero was strong if not always grammatical; her heroine did and said things not common in real life, and yet that were quite reasonable when her peculiar nature and environment were considered.
Archie paused once in awhile to wonder how much of all this record was within the direct knowledge of the young auth.o.r.ess; which expressions conveyed her own ideas and which sentiments she would personally endorse. Gouger might be right as to the exceeding purity of most of the ladies who dealt in eroticism, but in this especial case Mr. Weil meant to make an investigation on his own account before he accepted as a universal rule the one his friend had laid down.
He did not go to sleep that night until he had finished his story. Had it been arranged by a competent hand he could have read it in four hours, but as it was he consumed eight in the work. With all its faults, he liked it. There was something breezy about it, and it had a theme that he did not remember had been treated exactly in the same way before. Though, as he himself had said, without much talent for composition, Archie had read a great many books. It is no proof because a person cannot write that he would make a poor critic. Mr. Weil might almost have filled Lawrence Gouger"s place at Cutt & Slashem"s. He had written fugitive pieces in his time for the papers, in reference to his travels, which had been extensive, and had even contributed occasional book reviews to the magazines. His connection with Gouger enabled him to keep in touch with what was going on in the literary world, and the dozens of new volumes which pa.s.sed through that office were always at his disposal.
"She"s not a fool, by any means," he remarked to himself, when he put down the last sheet of Miss Fern"s work. "A fellow who understood his business might put that into such shape that it would be worth using. I mean to find some one who can do it, and suggest the idea to her, when I get to that stage in this affair. Let me see, who do I know that could undertake it?"
He had begun to undress, and was in the act of taking off his collar as he spoke. His mind ran over a list of struggling literary men. Something seemed the matter with most of them. There was Hamlin, but he would be too exacting, and would want to suggest alterations in the story itself, which would never do. There was Insley, whose last three books had been flat failures, and for whom Cutt & Slashem had positively refused to print anything more; but Insley had gone into the country for the summer and n.o.body knew his address. Then there was--
"_Roseleaf!_"
Archie received this thought like an inspiration. He threw his cravat on the bureau and began tugging at his shoestrings to the imminent danger of getting them into hard knots that no one could unravel. Roseleaf! Why not? The boy would do almost anything he suggested, so great was his confidence that a road to literary preferment could be staked out over that path. Roseleaf would not undertake the work for the sake of pecuniary compensation, but the thing could be presented to him in quite another light. In Miss Fern"s story there were living, breathing men and women. In his own there were beautifully drawn marionettes. He could be made to see that the study of the young lady"s method was worth his while. And then!
Mr. Weil"s shoes lay on the floor, in the disorder of a bachelor who had never in his life taken pains to put anything in the place where it really belonged. He took out the studs of his shirt, pulled that garment over his head, and then sat for some minutes wrapped in active thought.
"They must be introduced to each other!" he exclaimed, at last. "Between them they have every qualification for success; apart they are like the separated wheels of a watch. There is Shirley, with a style so sweetly subtle, a grace so perfect, every line a gem; and with it all not a sign of human emotion. There is Millicent, full of plot and daring and breathing characters, and bold conceptions, and no more able to write good English than an Esquimaux squaw. I have both these interesting persons on my hands, and I must combine them, for their mutual good.
"I wonder what Gouger will say when I unfold my plan. Perhaps I had best not tell him. He actually came near threatening, to-day, to send a line to Miss Fern, warning her against me. He wouldn"t have done it, though.
Lawrence has a bark that is worse than his bite by a great deal. Yes, I"ll bring these young folks together. I"ll take them as Hermann does the rabbits, and press them gently but firmly into one. And then sha"n"t we get a combination! And won"t Mr. Lawrence Gouger hug himself when the product of their joint endeavor comes to him for a reading!"
The muser finished disrobing and donned his night robes, but it was a long time before he felt like slumber. He could think of nothing but his scheme. As he revolved it over in his mind, it took many new forms. At first Roseleaf was to be asked to rewrite the story that Miss Fern had offered Cutt & Slashem. And afterwards there must be an entirely new novel, conceived together and worked out slowly, using the best of what was brightest in both of them.
The last idea Mr. Weil had before he relapsed into unconsciousness contained two novels, worked out at the same time. Roseleaf was all right, if he could only get a glimpse of realism into his work. Miss Fern would have no trouble if her ideas could find a garb that suited them.
There would be a way to make them of service to each other, and the time to cross a bridge is always when you come to it. So thought Archie Weil, as he fell asleep.
In the morning he laughed to think of the description he had given to Shirley, in his offhand way, of "the perfect woman." It was a faithful list of Miss Millicent"s charms, so far as they were apparent to him.
Shirley had noted them down with great carefulness, and would be sure to notice how fully the auth.o.r.ess met the ideal he now had in mind. It only remained for the schemer to say something to Miss Fern that would suggest Roseleaf to her, whenever they were made acquainted.
It must be plain to the reader that Mr. Weil"s princ.i.p.al intention in this whole matter was to dispose of the _ennui_ which idleness brings even to its most adoring devotees. He had a fair fortune, acc.u.mulated by a father who had denied himself every luxury to ama.s.s it. Drifting to New York, he had found the vicinity of the Hoffman House very agreeable, and his companions, with the exception of Mr. Gouger, were of about as light views of life as himself. The critic was one of those strange exceptions with which most of us come in contact, where persons of entirely opposite tastes and inclinations become attached friends.
Breakfast was served so late to Mr. Weil that he had not finished that repast when the young novelist made his appearance. Seating himself on the side of the table that faced his friend, Mr. Roseleaf responded to the latter"s inquiries in regard to his health by saying that he was quite well. Indeed, he looked it. His eye was bright, his cheek rosy.
His attire showed just enough of a negligent quality to be attractive.
There was an air about him such as is often a.s.sociated with an artist of the pencil and brush.