_Mrs. V._ Oh, is it my lead? I"m sure I don"t know what to play. You always lead from your long suit, don"t you? There, I hope that queen will be good.
_Mr. T._ No, it won"t, for I have the ace.
_Mrs. V._ Oh, you mean man! Partner, can"t you trump that?
_Colonel G._ I have suit.
_Miss V._ There, I have got to put the king on, and I think it is mean.
_Mr. T._ I am awfully sorry. If I"d only known--
_Miss V._ I shook my head at you, but you wouldn"t look up.
_Mrs. V._ That wasn"t fair, and you deserve to be beaten. Now my jack is good, any way.
_Mr. T._ It isn"t your lead. I took the trick.
_Mrs. V._ Oh, I beg pardon.
_Miss V._ I would have trumped it, any way.
_Mr. T._ I wish I knew what you have.
_Miss V._ I wish I could tell you. Don"t make it too dark.
_Mr. T._ Then I"ll lead diamonds.
_Miss V._ That"s just right.
_Mrs. V._ Diamonds are trumps.
_Miss V._ Oh, are they? Oh, that"s too bad. I didn"t want trumps led.
_Mr. T._ But you said-- Why, can"t you go over Colonel Graham"s nine-spot?
_Miss V._ I made a mistake. I meant to play the ten.
_Mrs. V._ Shall I put on a small one or a high one, Colonel Graham?
_Colonel G._ The trick is ours as it lies.
_Mrs. V._ Then if I put on a high one it will get it out of the way, so you"ll know what to do next time.
_Mr. T._ Why, you"ve thrown away the king of trumps!
_Mrs. V._ Wasn"t that right?
_Miss V._ Why, of course not, mamma. You ought to have put on either the ace or a low one.
_Colonel G._ It is your lead, Mrs. Vaughn.
_Mrs. V._ She says she"ll trump hearts, and I can"t play my knave. I"ll try spades. I hope you"ll take it.
_Mr. T._ And he did. How nice to have a partner do just what you tell him to.
_Miss V._ That means that I don"t.
_Mr. T._ You are always satisfactory, whatever you do.
_Miss V._ What was led? Clubs? Are clubs trumps?
_Colonel G._ No; diamonds.
_Miss V._ Second hand low. I know that, at any rate, so there"s a two-spot.
_Mr. T._ Your mother has taken it with the seven.
_Miss V._ Oh, and I had the ace, king, and queen. Ought I to have played one of those?
_Colonel G._ If you tell us your hand you must expect us to play to it.
_Miss V._ I didn"t mean to tell.
_Mrs. V._ (_leading spades_). That was your suit, wasn"t it?
_Mr. T._ But I hold the ace.
_Miss V._ It was your own lead, mamma. Any way, I"ll trump it.
_Mr. T._ Why, you"ve trumped my ace.
_Miss V._ Oh, did I? I didn"t mean to. Can"t I take it back?
_Colonel G._ It is a little late, but still--
_Miss V._ Oh, well, never mind. Let it go. I have the king, any way (_leading it_).
_Colonel G._ But you just trumped a spade.
_Mrs. V._ A revoke! That gives us three points.
_Miss V._ Oh, it doesn"t either! I didn"t see that king at all when I trumped, and that was the only spade I had. I"ll change it on the last trick, and then it will be all right.
_Mrs. V._ You can"t do that; can she, Colonel Graham?
_Colonel G._ It isn"t customary.
_Mr. T._ Oh, who wants to play the stiff club rules? I don"t; there isn"t any fun in whist if you are going to be so particular.