"Three questions," said the abbot. "Don"t answer now, but start thinking about them, and think hard. First are you willing to go? Second, do you have a vocation to the priesthood? Third, are you willing to lead the group? And by willing, willing, I don"t mean "willing under obedience"; I mean enthusiastic, or willing to get that way. Think it over; you have three days to think-maybe less." I don"t mean "willing under obedience"; I mean enthusiastic, or willing to get that way. Think it over; you have three days to think-maybe less."
Modern change had made but few incursions upon the buildings and the grounds of the ancient monastery. To protect the old buildings against the encroachment of a more impatient architecture, new additions had been made outside the walls and even across the highway-sometimes at the expense of convenience. The old refectory had been condemned because of a buckling roof, and it was necessary to cross the highway in order to reach the new refectory. The inconvenience was somewhat mitigated by the culvert walkunder through which the brothers marched daily to meals.
Centuries old, but recently widened, the highway was the same road used by pagan armies, pilgrims, peasants, donkey carts, nomads, wild hors.e.m.e.n out of the East, artillery, tanks, and ten-ton trucks. Its traffic had gushed or trickled or dripped, according to the age and season. Once before, long ago, there had been six lanes and robot traffic. Then the traffic had stopped, the paving had cracked, and spa.r.s.e gra.s.s grew in the cracks after an occasional rain. Dust had covered it. Desert dwellers had dug up its broken concrete for the building of hovels and barricades. Erosion made it a desert trail, crossing wilderness. But now there were six lanes and robot traffic, as before.
"Traffic"s light tonight," the abbot observed as they left the old main gate. "Let"s hike across. That tunnel can be suffocating after a dust storm. Or don"t you feel like dodging buses?"
"Let"s go," Brother Joshua agreed.
Low-slung trucks with feeble headlights (useful only for warning purposes) sped mindlessly past them with whining tires and moaning turbines. With dish antennae they watched the road, and with magnetic feelers they felt at the guiding strips of steel in the roadbed and were given guidance thereby, as they rushed along the pink, fluorescent river of oiled concrete. Economic corpuscles in an artery of Man, the behemoths charged heedlessly past the two monks who dodged them from lane to lane. To be felled by one of them was to be run over by truck after truck until a safety cruiser found the flattened imprint of a man on the pavement and stopped to clean it up. The autopilots" sensing mechanisms were better at detecting ma.s.ses of metal than ma.s.ses of flesh and bone.
"This was a mistake," Joshua said as they reached the center island and paused for breath. "Look who"s standing over there."
The abbot peered for a moment, then clapped his forehead. "Mrs. Grales! I clean forgot: it"s her night to prowl me down. She"s sold her tomatoes to the sisters" refectory, and now she"s after me again."
"After you? She was there last night, and the night before, too. I thought she was waiting for a ride. What does she want from you?"
"Oh, nothing really. She"s finished gypping the sisters on the price of tomatoes, and now she"ll donate the surplus profit to me for the poor box. It"s a little ritual. I don"t mind the ritual. It"s what comes afterwards that"s bad. You"ll see."
"Shall we go back?"
"And hurt her feelings? Nonsense. She"s seen us by now. Come on."
They plunged into the thin stream of trucks again.
The two-headed woman and her six-legged dog waited with an empty vegetable basket by the new gate; the woman crooned softly to the dog. Four of the dog"s legs were healthy legs, but an extra pair dangled uselessly at its sides. As for the woman, one head was as useless as the extra legs of the dog. It was a small head, a cherubic head, but it never opened its eyes. It gave no evidence of sharing in her breathing or her understanding. It lolled uselessly on one shoulder, blind, deaf, mute, and only vegetatively alive. Perhaps it lacked a brain, for it showed no sign of independent consciousness or personality. Her other face had aged, grown wrinkled, but the superfluous head retained the features of infancy, although it had been toughened by the gritty wind and darkened by the desert sun.
The old woman curtsied at their approach, and her dog drew back with a snarl. "Evenin", Father Zerchi," she drawled, "a most pleasant evenin" to yer-and to yer, Brother."
"Why, h.e.l.lo, Mrs. Grales-"
The dog barked, bristled, and began a frenzied dance, feinting toward the abbot"s ankles with fangs bared for slashing. Mrs. Grales promptly struck her pet with the vegetable basket. The dog"s teeth slashed the basket; the dog turned on its mistress. Mrs. Grales kept it away with the basket; and after receiving a few resounding whacks, the dog retired to sit growling in the gateway.
"What a fine mood Priscilla"s in" Zerchi observed pleasantly. "Is she going to have pups?"
"Beg shriv"ness, yet honors," said Mrs. Grales, "but"s not the pup"s motherful condition as makes her so, devil fret her! but "tis "at man of mine. He"s witched the piteous pup, he has-for love of witchin-and it makes her "feared of all. I beg yet honors" shriv"ness for her naughties."
"It"s all right. Well, good night, Mrs. Grales."
But escape proved not that easy. She caught at the abbot"s sleeve and smiled her toothlessly irresistible smile.
"A minute, Father, only a minute for "n old tumater woman, if ye have it to spare."
"Why, of course! I"d be glad-"
Joshua gave the abbot a sidelong grin and went over to negotiate with the dog concerning right of way. Priscilla eyed him with plain contempt.
"Here, Father, here," Mrs. Grales was saying. "Take a little something for yer box. Here-" Coins rattled while Zerchi protested. "No, here, take of it, take of it," she insisted. "Oh, I know as how ye always say, by fret! but I be not so poor"s ye might think on me. And ye do good work. If ye don"t take of it, that no-good man of mine"ll have it from me, and do him the Devil"s work. Here-I sold my tumaters, and I got my price, near, and I bought my feed for the week and even a play-pretty for Rachel. I want ye to have of it. Here."
"It"s very kind..."
"Grryumpf!" came an authoritative bark from the gateway. "Grryumpf! Rowf! rowf! RrrrrrrOWWFF!"-followed by a rapid sequence of yaps, yeeps, and Priscilla"s howling in full retreat. came an authoritative bark from the gateway. "Grryumpf! Rowf! rowf! RrrrrrrOWWFF!"-followed by a rapid sequence of yaps, yeeps, and Priscilla"s howling in full retreat.
Joshua came wandering back with his hands in his sleeves.
"Are you wounded, man?"
"Grryumpf!" said the monk.
"What on earth did you do to her?"
"Grryumpf!" Brother Joshua repeated. "Rowf! Rowf! RrrrrrOWWFF!"-then explained: "Priscilla believes in werewolves. The yelping was hers. We can get past the gate now."
The dog had vanished; but again Mrs. Grales caught at the abbot"s sleeve. "Only a minute more of yer, Father, and I"ll keep ye no longer. It"s little Rachel I wanted to see yer about. There"s the baptism and the christenin" to be thought of, and I wished to ask yer if ye"d do the honor of-"
"Mrs. Grales," he put in gently, "go see your own parish priest. He should handle these matters, not I. I have no parish-only the abbey. Talk to Father Selo at Saint Michael"s. Our church doesn"t even have a font. Women aren"t permitted, except in the tribune-"
"The sister"s chapel has a font, and women can-"
"It"s for Father Selo, not for me. It has to be recorded in your own parish. Only as an emergency could I-"
"Ay, ay, that I know, but I saw Father Selo. I brought Rachel to his church and the fool of a man would not touch her."
"He refused to baptize Rachel?"
"That he did, the fool of a man."
"It"s a priest you"re talking of, Mrs. Grales, and no fool, for I know him well. He must have his reasons for refusing. If you don"t agree with his reasons, then see someone else-but not a monastic priest. Talk to the pastor at Saint Maisie"s perhaps."
"Ay, and that too have I done..." She launched into what promised to be a prolonged account of her skirmishings on behalf of the unbaptized Rachel. The monks listened patiently at first, but while Joshua was watching her, he seized the abbot"s arm above the elbow; his lingers gradually dug into Zerchi"s arm until the abbot winched in pain and tore the fingers away with his free hand.
"What are are you doing?" he whispered, but then noticed the monk"s expression. Joshua"s eyes were fixed on the old woman as if she were a c.o.c.katrice. Zerchi followed his gaze, but saw nothing stranger than usual; her extra head was half concealed by a sort of veil, but Brother Joshua had certainly seen that often enough. you doing?" he whispered, but then noticed the monk"s expression. Joshua"s eyes were fixed on the old woman as if she were a c.o.c.katrice. Zerchi followed his gaze, but saw nothing stranger than usual; her extra head was half concealed by a sort of veil, but Brother Joshua had certainly seen that often enough.
"I"m sorry, Mrs. Grales," Zerchi interrupted as soon as she fell short of breath. "I really must go now. I"ll tell you what: I"ll call Father Selo for you, but that"s all I can do. We"ll see you again, I"m sure."
"Thank yer kindly, and beg yer shriv"ness for keeping yer."
"Good night, Mrs. Grales."
They entered the gate and walked toward the refectory. Joshua thumped the heel of his hand against his temple several times as if to jar something back into place.
"Why were you staring at her like that?" the abbot demanded. "I thought it rude"
"Didn"t you notice?"
"Notice what?"
"Then you didn"t didn"t notice. Well... let it pa.s.s. But who is Rachel? Why won"t they baptize the child? Is she the woman"s daughter?" notice. Well... let it pa.s.s. But who is Rachel? Why won"t they baptize the child? Is she the woman"s daughter?"
The abbot smiled without humor. "That"s what Mrs. Grales contends. But there"s some question as to whether Rachel is her daughter, her sister-or merely an excrescence growing out of her shoulder."
"Rachel!-her other head?" head?"
"Don"t shout so. She"ll hear you yet."
"And she wants it baptized?"
"Rather urgently, wouldn"t you say? It seems to be an obsession."
Joshua waved his arms. "How do they settle such things?"
"I don"t know, and I don"t want to know. I"m grateful to Heaven that it"s not up to me to figure it out. If it were a simple case of Siamese twins, it would be easy. But it isn"t. The old-timers say Rachel wasn"t there when Mrs. Grales was born."
"A farmers" fable!"
"Perhaps. But some are willing to tell it under oath. How many souls has an old lady with an extra head-a head that "just grew"? Things like that cause ulcers in high places, my son. Now, what was it you noticed? Why were you staring at her and trying to pinch my arm off like that?"
The monk was slow to answer. "It smiled at me," he said at last.
"What smiled?"
"Her extra, uh-Rachel. She smiled. I thought she was going to wake up."
The abbot stopped him in the refectory"s entranceway and peered at him curiously.
"She smiled," the monk repeated very earnestly.
"You imagined it."
"Yes, m"Lord."
"Then look look like you imagined it." like you imagined it."
Brother Joshua tried. "I can"t," he admitted.
The abbot dropped the old woman"s coins in the poor box. "Let"s go on inside," he said.
The new refectory was functional, chromium befixtured, acoustically tailored, and germicidally illuminated. Gone were the smoke-blackened stones, the tallow lamps, the wooden bowls and cellar-ripened cheeses. Except for the cruciform seating arrangement and a rank of images along one wall, the place resembled an industrial lunchroom. Its atmosphere had changed, as had the atmosphere of the entire abbey. After ages of striving to preserve remnants of culture from a civilization long dead, the monks had watched the rise of a new and mightier civilization. The old tasks had been completed; new ones were found. The past was venerated and exhibited in gla.s.s cases, but it was no longer the present. The Order conformed to the times, to an age of uranium and steel and flaring rocketry, amid the growl of heavy industry and the high thin whine of star drive converters. The Order conformed-at least in superficial ways.
"Accedite ad eum," the Reader intoned. the Reader intoned.
The robed legions stood restlessly at their places during the reading. No food had yet appeared. The tables were bare of dishes. Supper had been deferred. The organism, the community whose cells were men, whose life had flowed through seventy generations, seemed tense tonight, seemed to sense a note amiss tonight, seemed aware, through the connaturality of its membership, of what had been told to only a few. The organism lived as a body, worshiped and worked as a body, and at times seemed dimly conscious as a mind that infused its members and whispered to itself and to Another in the lingua prima, baby tongue of the species. Perhaps the tension was increased as much by faint snort-growl of practice rocketry from the distant anti-missile missile range as by the unexpected postponement of the meal. The abbot rapped for silence, then gestured his prior, Father Lehy toward the lectern. The prior looked pained for a moment before speaking.
"We all regret the necessity," he said at last, "of sometimes disturbing the quiet of contemplative life with news from the outside world. But we must remember too that we are here to pray for the world and its salvation, as for our own. Especially now, the world could use some praying for." He paused to glance at Zerchi.
The abbot nodded.
"Lucifer is fallen," said the priest, and stopped. He stood there looking down at the lectern as if suddenly struck dumb.
Zerchi arose. "That is Brother Joshua"s inference, by the way," he interposed. "The Regency Council of the Atlantic Confederacy has said nothing to speak of. The dynasty has issued no statements. We know little more than we knew yesterday, except that The World Court is meeting in emergency session, and that the Defense Interior people are moving fast. There is a defense alert, and we"ll be affected, but don"t be disturbed. Father-?"
"Thank you, Dome," Dome," said the prior, seeming to regain his voice as Dom Zerchi was seated again. "Now, Reverend Father Abbot asked me to make the following announcements: said the prior, seeming to regain his voice as Dom Zerchi was seated again. "Now, Reverend Father Abbot asked me to make the following announcements: "First, for the next three days we shall sing the Little Office of Our Lady before Matins, asking her intercession for peace.
"Second, general instructions for civil defense in the event of a s.p.a.ce-strike or missile-attack alert are available on the table by the entrance. Everybody take one. If you"ve read it, read it again.
"Third, in the event that an attack warning is sounded, the following brothers are to report immediately to Old Abbey courtyard for special instructions. If no attack warning comes, the same brothers will report there anyway day after tomorrow morning right after Matins and Lauds. Names-Brothers Joshua, Christopher, Augustin, James, Samuel-"
The monks listened with quiet tension, betraying no emotion. There were twenty-seven names in all, but no novices were among them. Some were eminent scholars, there were a janitor and a cook as well. At first hearing, one might a.s.sume that the names had been drawn from a box. By the time Father Lehy had finished the list, some of the brothers were eying each other curiously.
"And this same group will report to the dispensary for a complete physical examination tomorrow after Prime," the prior finished. He turned to look questioningly at Dom Zerchi.
"Domne?"
"Yes, just one thing," said the abbot, approaching the lectern. "Brothers, let us not a.s.sume that there is going to be war. Let"s remind ourselves that Lucifer has been with us-this time-for nearly two centuries. And was dropped only twice, in sizes smaller than megaton. We all know what could could happen, if there"s war. The genetic festering is still with us from the last time Man tried to eradicate himself. Back then, in the Saint Leibowitz" time, maybe they didn"t know what would happen. Or perhaps they did know, but could not quite believe it until they tried it-like a child who knows what a loaded pistol is supposed to do, but who never pulled a trigger before. They had not yet seen a billion corpses. They had not seen the still-born, the monstrous, the dehumanized, the blind. They had not yet seen the madness and the murder and the blotting out of reason. Then they did it, and then they saw it. happen, if there"s war. The genetic festering is still with us from the last time Man tried to eradicate himself. Back then, in the Saint Leibowitz" time, maybe they didn"t know what would happen. Or perhaps they did know, but could not quite believe it until they tried it-like a child who knows what a loaded pistol is supposed to do, but who never pulled a trigger before. They had not yet seen a billion corpses. They had not seen the still-born, the monstrous, the dehumanized, the blind. They had not yet seen the madness and the murder and the blotting out of reason. Then they did it, and then they saw it.
"Now-now the princes, the presidents, the praesidiums, now they know-with dead certainty. They can know it by the children they beget and send to asylums for the deformed; They know it, and they"ve kept the peace. Not Christ"s peace, certainly, but peace, until lately-with only two warlike incidents in as many centuries. Now they have the bitter certainty. My sons, they cannot do it again. Only a race of madmen could do it again-" the princes, the presidents, the praesidiums, now they know-with dead certainty. They can know it by the children they beget and send to asylums for the deformed; They know it, and they"ve kept the peace. Not Christ"s peace, certainly, but peace, until lately-with only two warlike incidents in as many centuries. Now they have the bitter certainty. My sons, they cannot do it again. Only a race of madmen could do it again-"
He stopped speaking. Someone was smiling,. It was only a small smile, but in the midst of a sea of grave faces it stood out like a dead fly in a bowl of cream. Dom Zerchi frowned. The old man kept on smiling wryly. He sat at the "beggar"s table" with three other transient tramps-an old fellow with a brushy beard, stained yellow about the chin. As a jacket, he wore a burlap bag with armholes. He continued to smile at Zerchi. He looked old as a rain-worn crag, and a suitable candidate for a Maundy laving. Zerchi wondered if he were about to stand up and make an announcement to his hosts-or blow a ramshorn at them, perhaps?-but that was only an illusion generated by the smile. He quickly dismissed the feeling that he had seen the old man before, somewhere. He concluded his remarks.
On his way back to his place, he paused. The beggar nodded pleasantly at his host. Zerchi came nearer.
"Who are you, if I may ask. Have I seen you somewhere before?"
[image]
"What?"
"Latzar shemi," the beggar repeated. the beggar repeated.
"I don"t quite-"
"Call me Lazarus, then," said the old one, and chuckled.
Dom Zerchi shook his head and moved on. Lazarus? Lazarus? There was, in the region, an old wives" tale to the effect that-but what a shoddy sort of There was, in the region, an old wives" tale to the effect that-but what a shoddy sort of myth myth that was. Raised up by Christ but still not a Christian, they said. And yet he could not escape the feeling that he had seen the old man somewhere. that was. Raised up by Christ but still not a Christian, they said. And yet he could not escape the feeling that he had seen the old man somewhere.
"Let the bread be brought for blessing," he called, and the deferment of supper was at an end.
After the prayers, the abbot glanced toward the beggars" table again. The old man was merely fanning his soup with a sort of basket hat. Zerchi dismissed it with a shrug, and the meal began in solemn silence.
Compline, the Church"s night prayer, seemed especially profound that night.
But Joshua slept badly afterwards. In a dream he met Mrs. Grales again. There was a surgeon who sharpened a knife, saying, "This deformity must be removed before it becomes malignant." And the Rachel face opened its eyes and tried to speak to Joshua, but he could hear her only faintly, and understand her not at all.
"Accurate am I the exception," she seemed to be saying, "I commensurate the deception. Am."
He could make nothing of it, but he tried to reach through to save her. There seemed to be a rubbery wall of gla.s.s in the way. He paused and tried to read her lips. I am the, I am the- "I am the Immaculate Conception," came the dream whisper.
He tried to tear his way through the rubbery gla.s.s to save her from the knife, but it was too late, and there was a great deal of blood afterwards. He awoke from the blasphemous nightmare with a shudder and prayed for a time; but as soon as he slept, there was Mrs. Grales again.