Now this all seems a long way from John Barclay--the hero of this romance. Yet the departure of Watts McHurdie for his scene of glory was on the same day that a most important thing happened in the lives of Bob Hendricks and Molly Brownwell. That day Bob Hendricks walked one end of the station platform alone. The east-bound train was half an hour late, and while the veterans were teasing Watts and the women railing at Mrs. McHurdie, Hendricks discovered that it was one hundred and seventy-eight steps from one end of the walk to the other, and that to go entirely around the building made the distance fifty-four steps more. It was almost train time before Adrian Brownwell arrived.
When the dapper little chap came with his bright crimson carnation, and his flashing red necktie, and his inveterate gloves and cane, Hendricks came only close enough to him to smell the perfume on the man"s clothes, and to nod to him. But when Hendricks found that the man was going with the Culpeppers as far as Cleveland, as he told the entire depot platform, "to report the trip," Hendricks sat on a baggage truck beside the depot, and considered many things. As he was sitting there Dolan came up, out of breath, and fearful he should be late.
"How long will you be gone, Jake?" asked Hendricks.
"The matter of a week or ten days, maybe," answered Dolan.
"Well, Jake," said Hendricks, looking at Dolan with serious eyes, yet rather abstractedly, "I am thinking of taking a long trip--to be gone a long time--I don"t know exactly how long. I may not go at all--I haven"t said anything to the boys in the store or the bank or out at the shop about it; it isn"t altogether settled--as yet." He paused while a switch engine clanged by and the crowd surged out of the depot, and ebbed back again into their seats. "Did you deliver my note this morning?"
"Yes," replied Dolan, "just as you said. That"s what made me a little late."
"To the lady herself?"
"To the lady herself," repeated Dolan.
"All right," acquiesced Hendricks. "Now, Jake, if I give it out that I"m going away on a trip, there"ll be a lot of pulling and hauling and fussing around in the bank and in the store and at the shop and--every place, and then I may not go. So I"ve gone over every concern carefully during the past week, and have set down what ought to be done in case I"m gone. I didn"t tell my sister even--she"s so nervous. And, Jake, I won"t tell any one. But if, when you get back from Washington, I"m not here, I"m going to leave this key with you.
Tell the boys at the bank that it will open my tin box, and in the tin box they"ll find some instructions about things." He smiled, and Dolan a.s.sented. Hendricks uncoiled his legs from the truck, and began to get down. "I won"t mix up with the old folks, I guess, Jake. They have their own affairs, and I"m tired. I worked all last night," he added.
He held out his hand to Dolan and said, "Well, good-by, Jake--have a good time."
The elder man had walked away a few steps when Hendricks called him back, and fumbling in his pockets, said: "Well, Jake, I certainly am a fool; here--" he pulled an envelope marked "Dolan" from his inside pocket--"Jake, I was in the bank this morning, and I found a picture for you. Take it and have a good time. It"s a long time till pension day--so long."
The Irishman peeped at the bill and grinned as he said, "Them holy pictures from the bank, my boy, have powerful healing qualities." And he marched off with joy in his carriage.
Hendricks then resumed his tramp; up and down the long platform he went, stepping on cracks one way, and avoiding cracks the next, thinking it all out. He tried to remember if he had been unfair to any one; if he had left any ragged edges; if he had taken a penny more than his honest due. The letter to the county treasurer, returning the money his father had taken, was on top of the pile of papers in his tin box at the bank. He had finally concluded, that when everything else was known, that would not add much to his disgrace. And then it would be paid, and that page with the forged entry would not always be in his mind. There were deeds, each witnessed by a different notary, so that the town would not gossip before he went, transferring all of his real estate to his sister, and the stock he had sold to the bank was transferred, and the records all in the box; then he went over the prices again at which he had disposed of his holdings to the bank, and he was sure he had made good bargains in every case for the bank. So it was all fair, he argued for the thousandth time--he was all square with the world. He had left a deposit subject to his check of twenty thousand dollars--that ought to do until they could get on their feet somewhere; and it was all his, he said to himself--all his, and no one"s business.
And when he thought of the other part, the voice of Adrian Brownwell saying, "Well, come on, old lady, we must be going," rose in his consciousness. It was not so much Brownwell"s words, as his air of patronage and possession; it was cheerful enough, quite gay in fact, but Hendricks asked himself a hundred times why the man didn"t whistle for her, and clamp a steel collar about her neck. He wondered cynically if at the bottom of Brownwell"s heart, he would not rather have the check for twelve thousand dollars which Hendricks had left for Colonel Culpepper, to pay off the Brownwell note, than to have his wife. For seven years the colonel had been cheerfully neglecting it, and now Hendricks knew that Adrian was troubling him about the old debt.
As he rounded the depot for the tenth time he got back to their last meeting. There stood General Ward with his arm about the girlish waist of Mrs. Ward, the mother of seven. There was John Barclay with Jane beside him, and they were holding hands like lovers. The Ward children were running like rabbits over the broad lawn under the elms, and there, talking to the wide, wide world, was Adrian Brownwell, propounding the philosophy of the _Banner_, and quoting from last week"s editorials. And there sat Bob and Molly by the flower bed that bordered the porch.
"I am going to the city to hear Gilmore," he said. That was simple enough, and her sigh had no meaning either. It was just a weary little sigh, such as women sometimes bring forth when they decide to say something else. So she had said: "I"ll be all alone next week. I think I"ll visit Jane--if she"s in town."
Then something throbbed in his brain and made him say:--
"So you"d like to hear Gilmore, too?"
She coloured and was silent, and the pulse of madness that was beating in her made her answer:--
"Oh--I can"t--you know the folks are going to Washington to the encampment, and Adrian is going as far as Cleveland with the delegation to write it up."
An impulse loosened his tongue, and he asked:--
"Why not? Come on. If you don"t know any one up there, go to the Fifth Avenue; it"s all right, and I"ll get tickets, and we"ll go every night and both matinees. Come on!" he urged.
She was aflame and could not think. "Oh--don"t, Bob, don"t--not now.
Please don"t," she begged, in as low a tone as she dared to use.
Adrian was thundering on about the tariff, and the general was wrangling with him. The Barclays were talking to themselves, and the children were clattering about underfoot, and in the trees overhead.
Bob"s eyes and Molly"s met, and the man shuddered at what he saw of pathos and yearning, and he said: "Well, why not? It"s no worse to go than to want to go. What"s wrong about it--Molly, do you think--"
He did not finish the sentence, for Adrian had ceased talking, and Molly, seeing his jealous eyes upon her, rose and moved away. But before they left that night she found occasion to say, "I"ve been thinking about it, Bob, and maybe I will."
In the year that had pa.s.sed since Hendricks had left her sobbing in the chair on the porch of the Culpepper home, a current between them had been reestablished, and was fed by the chance pa.s.sing in a store, a smile at a reception, a good morning on the street, and the current was pulsing through their veins night and day. But that fine September morning, as she stood on the veranda of her home with a dust-cap on her head, cleaning up the litter her parents had made in packing, she was not ready for what rushed into her soul from the letter Dolan left her, as he hurried away to overtake the band that was turning from Lincoln Avenue into Main Street. She sat in a chair to read it, and for a moment after she had read it, she held it open in her lap and gazed at the sunlight mottling the blue gra.s.s before her, through the elm trees. Her lips were parted and her eyes wide, and she breathed slowly. The tune the band was playing--McHurdie"s song--sank into her memory there that day so that it always brought back the mottled sunshine, the flowers blooming along the walk, and the song of a robin from a lilac bush near by. She folded the letter carefully, and put it inside her dress, and then moving mechanically, took it out and read it again:--
"MY DARLING, MY DARLING: There is no use struggling any more. You must come. I will meet you in the city at the morning train, the one that leaves the Ridge here at 2.35 A.M. We can go to the parks to-morrow and be alone and talk it all out, before the concert--and then--oh, Molly, core of my soul, heart of my heart, why should we ever come back! BOB."
All that she could feel as she sat there motionless was a crashing "no." The thing seemed to drive her mad by its insistence--a horrible racking thing that all but shook her, and she chattered at it: "Why not? Why not? Why not?" But the "no" kept roaring through her mind, and as she heard the servant rattling the breakfast dishes in the house, the woman shivered out of sight and ran to her room. She fell on her knees to pray, but all she could pray was, "O G.o.d, O G.o.d, O G.o.d, help me!" and to that prayer, as she said it, the something in her heart kept gibbering, "Why not? Why not? Why not?" From an old box hidden in a closet opening out of her mother"s room she took Bob Hendricks" picture,--the faded picture of a boy of twenty,--and holding it close to her breast, stared open-lipped into the heart of an elm tree-top. The whistle of the train brought her back to her real world. She rose and looked at herself in the mirror, at the unromantic face with its lines showing faintly around her eyes, grown quiet during the dozen years that had settled her fluffy hair into sedate waves. She smiled at the changes of the years and shook her head, and got a grip on her normal consciousness, and after putting away the picture and closing the box, she went downstairs to finish her work.
On the stairs she felt sure of herself, and set about to plan for the next day, and then the tumult began, between the "no" and her soul. In a few minutes as she worked the "no" conquered, and she said, "Bob"s crazy." She repeated it many times, and found as she repeated it that it was mechanical and that her soul was aching again. So the morning wore away; she gossiped with the servant a moment; a neighbour came in on an errand; and she dressed to go down town. As she went out of the gate, she wondered where she would be that hour the next day, and then the struggle began again. Moreover, she bought some new gloves--travelling gloves to match her gray dress.
In the afternoon she and Jane Barclay sat on the wide porch of the Barclay home. "Gilmore"s going to be in the city all this week," said Jane, biting a thread in her sewing.
"Is he?" replied Molly. "I should so like to hear him. It"s so poky up at the house."
"Why don"t you?" inquired Jane. "Get on the train and go on up."
"Do you suppose it would be all right?" replied Molly.
"Why, of course, girl! Aren"t you a married woman of lawful age? I would if I wanted to."
There was a pause, and Molly replied thoughtfully, "I have half a notion to--really!"
But as she walked home, she decided not to do it. People from the Ridge might be there, and they wouldn"t understand, and her finger-tips chilled at the memory of Adrian Brownwell"s jealous eyes.
So as she ate supper, she went over the dresses she had that were available. And at bedtime she gave the whole plan up and went upstairs humming "Marguerite" as happily as the thrush that sang in the lilacs that morning. As she undressed the note fell to the floor. When she picked it up, the flash of pa.s.sion came tearing through her heart, and the "no" crashed in her ears again, and all the day"s struggle was for nothing. So she went to bed, resolved not to go. But she stared through the window into the night, and of a sudden a resolve came to her to go, and have one fair day with Hendricks--to talk it all out forever, and then to come home, and she rose from her bed and tiptoed through the house packing a valise. She left a note in the kitchen for the servant, saying that she would be back for dinner the next evening, and when she struck a match in the front hall to see what time it was, she found that it was only one o"clock. For an hour she sat in the chill September air on the veranda, thinking it all over--what she would say; how they would meet and part; and over and over again she told herself that she was doing the sensible thing. As the clock struck two she picked up her valise--it was heavier than she thought, and it occurred to her that she had put in many unnecessary things, and that she had time to lighten it. But she stopped a moment only, and then walked to the gate and down a side street to the station. It was 2.20 when she arrived, and the train was marked on the blackboard by the ticket window on time. She kept telling herself that it was best to have it out; that she would come right back; but she remembered her heavy valise, and again the warning "no" roared through her soul. She walked up and down the long platform, and felt the presence of Bob Hendricks strong and compelling; she knew he had been there that very day, and wondered where he sat. Then she thought perhaps she would do better not to go.
She looked into the men"s waiting room, and it was empty save for one man; his back was turned to her, but she recognized Lige Bemis. A tremble of guilt racked and weakened her. And with a thrill as of pain she heard the faint whistle of a train far up the valley. The man moved about the room inside. Apparently he also heard the far-off whistle. She shrank around the corner of the depot. But he caught sight of her dress, and slowly sauntered up and down the platform until he pa.s.sed near enough to her to identify her in the faint flicker of the gas. He spoke, and she returned his greeting. The train whistled again--much nearer it seemed to her, but still far away, and her soul and the "no" were grappling in a final contest. Suddenly it came over her that she had not bought her ticket. Again the train whistled, and far up the tracks she could see a speck of light. She hurried into the waiting room to buy the ticket. The noise of the train was beginning to sound in her ears, She was frightened and nervous, and she fumbled with her purse and valise. Nearer and nearer came the train, and the "no" fairly screamed in her ears, and her face was pallid, with the black wrinkles standing out upon it in the gaslight. The train was in the railroad yards, and the glare of the headlight was in the waiting room. Bemis came in and saw her fumbling with her ticket, her pocket book, and her valise.
"You"ll have to hurry, Mrs. Brownwell, this is the limited--it only stops a minute. Let me help you."
He picked up the valise and followed her from the room. The rush of the incoming train shattered her nerves. They pulsed in fear of some dreadful thing, and in that moment she wondered whether or not she would ever see it all again--the depot, the familiar street, the great mill looming across the river, and the Barclay home half a mile above them. In a second she realized all that her going meant, and the "no" screamed at her, and the "why not" answered feebly. But she had gone too far, she said to herself. The engine was pa.s.sing her, and Bemis was behind her with the heavy valise. She wondered what he would say when Bob met her at the train in the city. All this flashed across her mind in a second, and then she became conscious that the rumbling thing in front of her was not the limited but a cattle train, and the sickening odour from it made her faint. In the minute while it was rushing by at full speed she became rigid, and then, taking her valise from the man behind her, turned and walked as fast as she could up the hill, and when she turned the corner she tried to run. Her feet took her to the Barclay home. She stood trembling in terror on the great wide porch and rang the bell. The servant admitted the white-faced, shaking woman, and she ran to Jane Barclay"s room.
"Oh, Jane," chattered Molly, "Jane, for G.o.d"s love, Jane, hold me--hold me tight; don"t let me go. Don"t!" She sank to the floor and put her face in Jane"s lap and stuttered: "I--I--have g-g-got to t-t-tell you, Jane. I"ve g-g-ot to t-t-t-ell you, J-J-Jane." And then she fell to sobbing. "Hold me, don"t let me go out there. When it whistles ag-g-gain h-h-hold me t-t-tight."
Jane Barclay"s strong kind hands stroked the dishevelled hair of the trembling woman. And in time she looked up and said quietly, "You know--you know, Jane, Bob and I--Bob and I were going to run away!"
Molly looked at Jane a fearful second with beseeching eyes, and then dropped her head and fell to sobbing again, and lay with her face on the other woman"s knees.
When she was quiet Jane said: "I wouldn"t talk about it any more, dear--not now." She stroked the hair and patted the face of the woman before her. "Shall we go to bed now, dear? Come right in with me." And soon Molly rose, and her spent soul rested in peace. But they did not go to bed. The dawn found the two women talking it out together--clear from the beginning.
And when the day came Molly Brownwell went to Jane Barclay"s desk and wrote. And when Bob Hendricks came home that night, his sister handed him a letter. It ran:--
"MY DEAR BOB: I have thought it all out, dear; it wouldn"t do at all. I went to the train, and something, I don"t know what, caught me and dragged me over to Jane"s. She was good--oh, so good. She knows; but it was better that she should than--the other way.
"It will never do, Bob. We can"t go back. The terrible something that I did stands irrevocably between us. The love that might have made both our lives radiant is broken, Bob--forever broken. And all the king"s horses and all the king"s men cannot ever put it together again. I know it now, and oh Bob, Bob, it makes me sadder than the pain of unsatisfied love in my heart.
"It just can"t be; nothing ever can make it as it was, and unless it could be that way--the boy and girl way, it would be something dreadful. We have missed the best in the world, Bob; we cannot enjoy the next best together. But apart, each doing his work in life as G.o.d wills it, we may find the next best, which is more than most people know.
"I have found during this hour that I can pray again, Bob, and I am asking G.o.d always to let me hope for a heaven, into which I can bring a few little memories--of the time before you left me. Won"t you bring yours there, too, dear? Until then--good-by.
"MOLLY."
The springs that move G.o.d"s universe are hidden,--those that move the world of material things and those that move the world of spiritual things, and make events creep out of the past into the future so noiselessly that they seem born in the present. It is all a mystery, the half-stated equation of life that we call the scheme of things.