A Dream Awakens“The next day” always came too soon.
Commander Ho didn’t go visit his mellow little uncle again and merely sat in his room in a daze. Days were short during the winter months. When dusk fell, Commander Ho sent Hsiao-Shun to sleep in the orderlies’ quarters.
He shut the door and stood before his bed. Against the candlelight, he removed his clothing at a leisurely pace and crawled under the covers.
The bed was cold and he curled up against the chill, unfurling little by little over the next ten minutes.
There was movement in the courtyard. His door swung open.
Li came in with a trail of cold air. He shut the door behind him with a whisper: “I’m here, Commander.”
Commander Ho lay with his back to him, and neither moved nor spoke.
Li lifted his hands to unb.u.t.ton his army coat and began to strip himself hurriedly as he blew out the red candle on the table. Darkness fell across room, yet moonlight streamed through gla.s.s panes and cast the room in faint shadows.
Li sat on the bed and leaned in, making sure the man in bed was really Commander Ho.
He didn’t lift his head again, and inched closer until his lips brushed against Commander Ho’s ear. “Don’t worry, I scaled the wall. n.o.body saw me.”
Propping himself up on an elbow, he reached inside the covers and with a grip on Commander Ho’s shoulder, pulled him over on his back. He traced the Commander’s skin with a hand and paused above his chest, where he kneaded a nipple gently and leaned in, covering Commander Ho’s lips with his own.
His kiss was hungry and unrelenting. Commander Ho lay with half-open eyes, letting Li’s tongue wreck a storm inside his mouth. He caught the faint smell of soap and tooth powder. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d probably scrubbed himself clean inside out before coming over, he thought to himself.
Li was well-prepared for Commander Ho’s indifference. He"d come with the intention to entertain himself and wasn’t hoping to receive a response of any kind. It was a curious feeling to touch and kiss the commander—this was “Commander Ho” himself!
Before the affair had even begun, Li was already roused beyond restraint. He drew down the covers and let the kiss roam to Commander Ho’s neck, his collarbone, and finally closed his lips around a neglected nipple. He sucked on it gently, teasing the small bud to hardness, and brought Commander Ho’s hand to his straining erection.
Commander Ho flinched as if burned when his hand came into contact with the monstrous length. Li held down his hand insistently, closing it around his member as he began to stroke himself. Commander Ho’s palm was soft and tender. Even though the touch was light, Li felt his scalp tighten, and almost came on the spot.
Li forced himself to calm and stopped teasing himself with Commander Ho’s hand. Climbing into bed, he crawled under the covers and pulled Commander Ho into a crushing embrace.
So this was what Commander Ho was like!
Under the darkness beneath the quilted covers, he ground his own body against Commander Ho’s. Skin against skin, Li felt the coa.r.s.eness of his own face, his own hands. His entire body felt crude.
He wondered if he might sc.r.a.pe off an entire layer of Commander Ho’s skin. It wasn’t right. He shouldn’t put the frail Commander Ho in pain. But remembering that he’d only ever have this one precious night, he decided that there was no need to concern himself with the state of Commander Ho’s skin.
After fumbling around under the covers for a while, Li finally poked his head out, panting.
With Commander Ho pinned under him, Li slid his hardened c.o.c.k back and forth between the other man’s thighs. “Have to say, you don’t feel half as slight as you look.”
Commander Ho blinked in the darkness and remained silent.
Li grabbed a handful of Commander Ho’s a.s.s and kneaded it slowly, spreading his cheeks apart from time to time.
“Carrying all your weight here, eh?” Li teased. “Always thought you had a great a.s.s. Perky thing gives a man…a lot of ideas.”
Commander Ho shut his eyes. “Get the f.u.c.k on with it,” he hissed irritably. “Save that rubbish for yourself.”
Li bent in and planted a kiss on his neck. He mumbled into Commander Ho’s ear: “Commander, my little minx. We have the whole night ahead of us, what’s the hurry?”
Commander Ho fell silent again.
Li nudged Commander Ho’s legs apart and sneaked a finger toward his entrance. Slowly, he pushed in, then added another finger when the first was completely buried.
“Commander, why are you clenching so hard? Don’t worry, I’ll make it good for you. I’m almost afraid once you get a good taste of it, you won’t be able to live without men! Ha!”
Commander Ho took a deep breath. “Will you stop being so f.u.c.king vulgar? f.u.c.k your ancestors!”
Li removed his fingers and began to stroke Commander Ho’s flaccid member. “Aren’t you a boring one. But before you f.u.c.k my ancestors, let me f.u.c.k you good and proper. I bet once you’ve had a nice long f.u.c.k, you won’t be so interested in my ancestors anymore.”
Commander Ho propped himself up and glared at Li in the dark. “Go on then! I’m waiting!”
Li laughed. He pushed Commander Ho back. “Can’t refuse such a generous offer. Will do!”
- : -
Li’s c.o.c.k was no small thing. With it only half way in, Commander Ho was already reaching the threshold of his pain tolerance. “Get—get out—it hurts—”
Unmoved by his pleas, Li continued at his own pace with shallow, meticulous thrusts. After twenty minutes or so, he finally managed to sheathe himself completely. He lifted Commander Ho’s legs over his shoulders and reached under the other man’s arms, gripping him by the shoulders as he began pounding into Commander Ho with slow but powerful movements. Commander Ho kept his eyes squeezed shut and only let out a few small moans, though he never uttered the words “get out” again.
It was true that Li was an unrefined man, but there was a certain mindfulness within his crudity. This sort of affair between two men wasn’t really anything of note, but it wouldn’t be right to leave anyone bloodied and wounded, or a simple prank could turn into injury. Li wanted to f.u.c.k Commander Ho, not injure him. It was still along the same line of reasoning—Commander Ho wasn’t exactly fearsome, but it wasn’t worth the risk to offend him.
A little while into his efforts, Li began to lose himself in pleasure. It almost felt like he had taken a new wife, and was spending the wedding night conquering a virgin body. What good were virgins? They didn’t know how to give pleasure or make the right noises, but because of their uniqueness, everybody wanted a piece.
In that light, Commander Ho had a lot in common with virgins. But virgins were easy to come by while Commander Ho was not, so in this regard, Commander Ho was still more valuable.
In bed, Li was the type that would go about his business with wholehearted concentration, then roll over and go right to sleep. But in this moment, his body kindled his mind as his mind roused his body. Within Commander Ho, his soul and flesh fell in sync.
It was a curious feeling, a feeling that involved a subtle kind of sensation and sentiment. Before this day, Li had only equated Commander Ho with the might of legions, but here above the small bed that creaked with his movements, Commander Ho seemed to also represent something more inexplicable. It was something that couldn’t be put in words, couldn’t be seen or touched. It was like a catalyst that multiplied his physical pleasures tenfold in his mind.
- : -
In the small hours before dawn arrived, Li dressed himself and bent down to plant a kiss on Commander Ho’s cheek. “Precious, Commander. Thank you. It has been… great here.”
Commander Ho lay a boneless heap in bed, almost on the verge of unconsciousness.
- : -
Li slipped through the door silently. He leapt over the wall and left before sunrise.
Commander Ho slept until noon. Through the window, he spotted Hsiao-Shun munching on a sesame roll in the courtyard.
He called Hsiao-Shun over and instructed him to fetch a few buckets of hot water from the kitchen so he could take a bath. Hsiao-Shun answered him and left quickly. Moments later, he returned with the bathing supplies and emptied the buckets in the bathtub.
He kneeled before the bed, ready to put on Commander Ho’s shoes. Yet Commander Ho waved a hand and gestured at him to leave.
After kicking Hsiao-Shun out, Commander Ho gritted his teeth and sat up. He threw back the covers and looked down at himself.
His body was unmarked except for his flushed and swollen nipples. There was a sticky feeling between his legs, which made sense, but why was there a dried blotch covering his belly? Was it the other man’s or his own?
Commander Ho recalled the previous night. At first there was pain, but after a while, there was a different sensation. The other man’s c.o.c.k drove hard into him and stretched him wide open, then at one point it seemed hit the right spot, and he shuddered as a strange pleasure grew inside him.
Commander Ho shook off the thought. What good would it do? In any case, he had overcome this particular obstacle. And afterwards—he’d have to get out of this backwater hole first!
Sitting up, he climbed out of bed and shuffled toward the bathtub. He hauled himself into the steaming tub with great effort, and swallowing his discomfort, began his contemplations of the day.
- : -
After his bath, Commander Ho had Hsiao-Shun change his sheets and went back to sleep, not bothering with his meals. He stirred and woke up in the evening, feeling somewhat recovered.
Li arrived at dinnertime.
This time they avoided eye contact, and were extremely courteous.
“Has Major-General Li eaten?” Commander Ho asked.
Li shook his head. “I haven’t.”
“Come have something then.”
Li stayed quiet as an orderly came forth and served him a bow of rice. He picked up his chopsticks and pushed a few grains of rice into his mouth half-heartedly. Chewing for a moment, he said in a low voice: “are you…feeling all right?”
Commander Ho’s bowl was only half-filled with rice. He poured some water into and whisked its contents with his chopsticks, then gobbled the whole mess down.
Setting down his bowl and chopsticks, Commander Ho wiped his mouth and took another gulp of water.
“I told you to exchange some pound sterling for me. How did it go?” he finally said.
Seeing that he was obviously fine, Li relaxed and answered: “We haven’t seen any caravans so far. How was I supposed exchange anything? Actually, why don’t you stay around for a while and wait till we get this currency problem sorted out?”
“I’ll settle for gold. Go figure out how much ten thousand silver coins are worth, and get that gold to me.”
Li looked a bit awkward. “Where are we supposed to find that much gold?”
Commander Ho wasn’t in the mood to haggle with him. “Just give me however much you have!”
Li smiled wearily. “Look…”
At Li’s reluctant mumbles, Commander Ho felt a sudden surge of fury. “What is it? Are you telling me you don’t have the gold?”
Li held up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t say anything!”
Commander Ho struck the table and shot up, pointing a finger at Li’s nose. “Then get it to me! How many f.u.c.king years have I put up with you lot of army sc.u.m? Now you have the nerve to send me off empty-handed?”
Since Li had bedded Commander Ho, he couldn’t help but a.s.sociate Commander Ho with a new bride. He couldn’t bring himself to be angry at Commander Ho’s outburst and only felt a bit unsettled by his yelling. He caved in without much thought.
“Look, Commander, I said nothing of that sort! What are you yelling at me for? I’ve got some gold in the storehouse, the stuff we’d gotten from the banks back in Hsian. But it really isn’t much. You can come take a look if you like. Just a few dozens of gold bars, and some small bits we’d gotten from trading opium with the caravans. You can have as much as you want. As long as I have my men, I can make a living out of the lands. Money won’t be a problem for me.”
Commander glared at him for a moment, then sat back down a bit despondently. “You talk with sense, so you better act with it.”
Li lowered his head and resumed eating his rice.
The eating was only a cover, a cover for his absent-mindedness and thoughtfulness.
He realised that Commander Ho was h.e.l.l bent on leaving this time. Recalling the pleasures of the previous night, he was a little reluctant to part with the other man.
But he was still in full possession of his faculties and hadn’t lost his senses to l.u.s.t. Commander Ho always left the same impression—he was nothing frightening, but it was best not to offend him.
As enticing as his plump and shapely backside was, the affair was like chewing on a sugarcane. It was juicy and sweet to the taste, but once swallowed, it would give him indigestion.
Li didn’t think he’d be able to digest Commander Ho. If he had insisted on detaining him, they’d end up slaughtering each other in one way or another. It wasn’t worth it. For a piece of a.s.s, it really wasn’t worth it. Li had already fulfilled his wish by bedding him. Better to let him leave before things could turn ugly.
- : -
Three days later, Commander Ho took Hsiao-Shun and a very insistent Adjutant Feng and departed from Luyang in secret with Bai Su-Ch’en and Arimitsu Kiyoshi.
Li came to Commander Ho’s courtyard early in the morning. He watched as Commander Ho ate a hurried breakfast and prepared for journey in civilian clothes, and felt a bit melancholic all of a sudden. It seemed like it was only yesterday that he’d conspired with his rivals and s.n.a.t.c.hed Commander Ho from school, but six years had pa.s.sed, and all that was left of the former Anguo Army was himself, hidden away in these north-western hinterlands, not knowing when he’d attain the kind of fame and glory the Old Marshal had. Perhaps before he could ever find out, he’d meet his death on the battlefield.
Li heaved a heavy sigh. To him, Commander Ho’s departure would mark the end of an epoch in his life.
To avoid attracting attention, he didn’t see Commander Ho off with a grand farewell. Commander Ho felt no attachment to him, and left without delay. He slipped through the backyard and rushed off without a backward glance.
- End of Volume One -