I was in ecstasies at this thought. It seemed to vindicate all my insulted personality, all my outraged and injured ident.i.ty. "Yes,"
said I, "I will dine with him; six o"clock shall see me punctual to the minute, and determined to avenge the whole insulted family of the Paynters. I defy him to a.s.sert that the provocation came not from _his_ side. I dare him to show cause why I should be the b.u.t.t of his humor, any more than he of _mine_, I will be prepared to make use of his own exact words in repelling my impertinence, and say, "Sir, you have exactly embodied _my_ meaning; you have to the letter expressed what this morning I felt on being called Mr. Paynter; you have, besides this, had the opportunity of experiencing the sort of pain such an impertinence inflicts, and you are now in a position to guide you as to how far you will persist in it for the future.""
I actually revelled in the thought of this reprisal, and longed for the moment to come in which, indolently thrown back in my chair, I should say, "Bluebottle, pa.s.s the Madeira," with some comment on the advantage all the Bluebottles have in getting their wine duty free. Then, with what sarcastic irony I should condole with him over his wearisome, dull career, eternally writing home plat.i.tudes for blue-books, making Grotius into bad grammar, and vamping up old Puffendorf for popular reading.
"Ain"t you sick of it all, B. B.?" I should say, familiarly; "is not the unreality of the whole thing offensive? Don"t you feel that a despatch is a sort of formula in which Madrid might be inserted for Moscow, and what was said of Naples might be predicated for Norway?" I disputed a long time with myself at what precise period of the entertainment I should unmask my battery and open fire. Should it be in the drawing-room, before dinner? Should it be immediately after the soup, with the first gla.s.s of sherry? Ought I to wait till the dessert, and that time when a sort of easy intimacy had been established which might be supposed to prompt candor and frankness? Would it not be in better taste to defer it till the servants had left the room? To expose him to his household seemed scarcely fair.
These were all knotty points, and I revolved them long and carefully, as I came back to my hotel, through the same silent street.
CHAPTER XIV. SHAMEFUL NEGLECT OF A PUBLIC SERVANT.
"Don"t keep a place for me at the _table d"hote_ to-day, Kramm," said I, in an easy carelessness; "I dine with his Excellency. I could n"t well get off the first day, but tomorrow I promise you to p.r.o.nounce upon your good cheer."
I suppose I am not the first man who has derived consequence from the invitation it had cost him misery to accept. How many in this world of sn.o.bbery have felt that the one sole recompense for long nights of _ennui_ was the fact that their names figured amongst the distinguished guests in the next day"s "Post"?
"It is not a grand dinner to-day, is it?" asked Kramm.
"No, no, merely a family party; we are very old chums, and have much to talk over."
"You will then go in plain black, and with nothing but your "decorations.""
"I will wear none," said I, "none; not even a ribbon." And I turned away to hide the shame and mortification his suggestion had provoked.
Punctually at six o"clock I arrived at the legation; four powdered footmen were in the hall, and a decent-looking personage in black preceded me up the stairs, and opened the double doors into the drawing-room, without, however, announcing me, or paying the slightest attention to my mention of "Mr. Pottinger."
Laying down his newspaper as I entered, his Excellency came forward with his hand out, and though it was the least imaginable touch, and his bow was grandly ceremonious, his smile was courteous and his manner bland.
"Charmed to find you know the merit of punctuality," said he. "To the untravelled English, six means seven, or even later. You may serve dinner, Robins. Strange weather we are having," continued he, turning to me; "cold, raw, and uncongenial."
We talked "barometer" till, the door opening, the _maitre d"hotel_ announced, "His Excellency is served;" a rather unpolite mode, I thought, of ignoring his company, and which was even more strongly impressed by the fact that he walked in first, leaving me to follow.
At the table a third "cover" was just being speedily removed as we entered, a fact that smote at my heart like a blow. The dinner began, and went on with little said; a faint question from the Minister as to what the dish contained and a whispered reply const.i.tuted most of the talk, and an occasional cold recommendation to me to try this or that _entree_. It was admirable in all its details, the cookery exquisite, the wines delicious, but there was an oppression in the solemnity of it all that made me sigh repeatedly. Had the butler been serving a high ma.s.s, his motions at the sideboard could scarcely have been more reverential.
"If you don"t object to the open air, we "ll take our coffee on the terrace," said his Excellency; and we soon found ourselves on a most charming elevation, surrounded on three sides with orange-trees, the fourth opening a magnificent view over a fine landscape with the Taunus mountains in the distance.
"I can offer you, at least, a good cigar," said the Minister, as he selected with great care two from a number on a silver plateau before him. "These, I think, you will find recommendable; they are grown for myself at Cuba, and prepared after a receipt only known to one family."
In all this there was a dignified civility, not at all like the impertinent freedom of his manner in the morning. He never, besides, addressed me as Mr. Paynter; in fact, he did not advert to a name at all, not giving me the slightest pretext for that reprisal I had come so charged with; and, as to opening the campaign myself, I "d as soon have commenced acquaintance with a tiger by a pull at his tail. We were now alone; the servants had retired, and there we sat, silently smoking our cigars in apparent ease, but one of us, at least, in a frame of mind the very opposite to tranquillity.
What a rush and conflict of thought was in my head! Why had not _she_ dined with us? Was her position such as that the presence of a stranger became an embarra.s.sment? Good heaven! was I to suppose this, that, and the other? What was there in this man that so imposed on me, that when I wanted to speak I only could sigh, and that I felt his presence like some overpowering spell? It was that calm, self-contained, quiet manner--cold rather than austere, courteous without cordiality--that chilled me to the very marrow of my bones. Lecture _him_ on the private moralities of his life! ask _him_ to render me an account of his actions! address _him_ as Bluebottle!--
"With such tobacco as that, one can drink Bordeaux," said he. "Help yourself."
And I did help myself,--freely, repeatedly. I drank for courage, as a man might drink from thirst or fever, or for strength in a moment of fainting debility. The wine was exquisite, and my heart beat more forcibly, and I felt it.
I cannot follow very connectedly the course of events; I neither know how the conversation glided into politics, nor what I said on that subject. As to the steps by which I succeeded in obtaining his Excellency"s confidence, I know as little as a man does of the precise moment in which he is wet through in a Scotch mist. I have a dim memory of talking in a very dictatorial voice, and continually referring to my "entrance into public life," with reference to what Peel "said," and what the Duke "told me."
"What"s the use of writing home?" said his Excellency, in a desponding voice. "For the last five years I have called attention to what is going on here; n.o.body minds, n.o.body heeds it. Open any blue-book you like, and will you find one solitary despatch from Hesse-Kalbbratonstadt?"
"I cannot call one to mind."
"Of course you can"t. Would you believe it, when the Zeringer party went out, and the Schlaffdorfers came in, I was rebuked--actually rebuked--for sending off a special messenger with the news? And then came out a despatch in cipher, which being interpreted contained this stupid doggerel:--
""Strange that men difference should be Twixt Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee."
"I ask, sir, is it thus the affairs of a great country can be carried on? The efforts of Russia here are incessant: a certain personage--I will mention no names--loves caviare, he likes it fresh, there is a special _estaffette_ established to bring it! I learned, by the most insidious researches, his fondness for English cheese; I lost no time in putting the fact before the cabinet I represented, that while timid men looked tremblingly towards France, the thoughtful politician saw the peril of Hesse-Kalbbratonstadt I urged them to lose no time: "The Grand-d.u.c.h.ess has immense influence; countermine her," said I,--"countermine her with a Stilton;" and, would you believe it, sir, they have not so much as sent out a Cheddar! What will the people of England say one of these days when they learn, as learn they shall, that at this mission here I am alone; that I have neither secretary nor _attache_, paid or unpaid; that since the Crimean War the whole weight of the legation has been thrown upon me: nor is this all; but that a systematic course of treachery--I can"t call it lies--has been adopted to entrap me, if such were possible? My despatches are unreplied to, my questions all unanswered. I stand here with the peace of Europe in my hands, and none to counsel nor advise me. What will you say, sir, to the very last despatch I have received from Downing Street? It runs thus:--
""I am instructed by his Lordship to inform you, that he views with indifference your statement of the internal condition of the grand-duchy, but is much struck by your charge for sealing-wax.
""I have, sir, &c."
"This is no longer to be endured. A public servant who has filled some of the most responsible of official stations,--I was eleven years at Tragota, in the Argentine Republic; I was a _charge_ at Oohululoo for eight months, the only European who ever survived an autumn there; they then sent me special to Cabanhoe to negotiate the Salt-sprat treaty; after that--"
Here my senses grew muddy; the gray dim light, the soft influences of a good dinner and a sufficiency of wine, the drowsy tenor of the Minister"s voice, all conspired, and I slept as soundly as if in my bed.
My next conscious moment was as his Excellency moved his chair back, and said,--
"I think a cup of tea would be pleasant; let us come into the drawing-room."
CHAPTER XV. I LECTURE THE AMBa.s.sADOR"S SISTER
On entering the drawing-room, his Excellency presented me to an elderly lady, very thin, and very wrinkled, who received me with a cold dignity, and then went on with her crochet-work. I could not catch her name, nor, indeed, was I thinking of it; my whole mind was bent upon the question, Who could she be? For what object was she there? All my terrible doubts of the morning now rushed forcibly back to my memory, and I felt that never had I detested a human being with the hate I experienced for her.
The pretentious stiffness of her manner, the haughty self-possession she wore, were positive outrages; and as I looked at her, I felt myself muttering, "Don"t imagine that your heavy black moire, or your rich falls of lace, impose upon _me_. Never fancy that this mock austerity deceives one who reads human nature as he reads large print. I know, and I abhor you, old woman! That a man should be to the other s.e.x as a wolf to the fold, the sad experience of daily life too often teaches; but that a woman should be false to woman, that all the gentle instincts we love to think feminine, should be debased to treachery and degraded into snares for betrayal,--this is an offence that cries aloud to Heaven!
"No more tea,--none!" cried I, with an energy that nearly made the footman let the tray fall, and so far startled the old lady that she dropped her knitting with a faint cry. As for his Excellency, he had covered his face with the "Globe," and, I believe, was fast asleep.
I looked about for my hat to take my leave, when a sudden thought struck me. "I will stay. I will sit down beside this old creature, and, for once at least in her miserable life, she shall hear from the lips of a man a language that is not that of the debauchee. Who knows what effect one honest word of a true-hearted man may not work? I will try, at all events," said I, and approached her. She did not, as I expected, make room for me on the sofa beside her, and I was, therefore, obliged to take a chair in front. This was so far awkward that it looked formal; it gave somewhat the character of accusation to my position, and I decided to obviate the difficulty by a.s.suming a light, easy, cheerful manner at first, as though I suspected nothing.
"It"s a pleasant little capital, this Kalbbratonstadt," said I, as I lay back in my chair.
"Is it?" said she, dryly, without looking up from her work.
"Well, I mean," said I, "it seems to have its reasonable share of resources. They have their theatre, and their music garden, and their promenades, and their drives to--to--"
"You"ll find all the names set down there," said she, handing me a copy of Murray"s "Handbook" that lay beside her.
"I care less for names than facts, madam," said I, angrily, for her retort had stung me, and routed all my previous intention of a smooth approach to the fortress. "I am one of those unfashionable people who never think the better of vice because it wears French gloves, and goes perfumed with Ess bouquet."
She took off her spectacles, wiped them, looked at me, and went on with her work without speaking.
"If I appear abrupt, madam," said I, "in this opening, it is because the opportunity I now enjoy may never occur again, and may be of the briefest even now. We meet by what many would call an accident,--one of those incidents which the thoughtless call chance directed my steps to this place; let me hope that that which seemed a hazard may bear all the fruits of maturest combination, and that the weak words of one frail even as yourself may not be heard by you in vain. Let me, therefore, ask you one question,--only one,--and give me an honest answer to it."
"You are a very singular person," said she, "and seem to have strangely forgotten the very simple circ.u.mstance that we meet for the first time now."
"I know it, I feel it; and that it may also be for the last and only time is my reason for this appeal to you. There are persons who, seeing you here, would treat you with a mock deference, address you with a counterfeit respect, and go their ways; who would say to their selfish hearts, "It is no concern of mine; why should it trouble me?" But I am not one of these. I carry a conscience in my breast; a conscience that holds its daily court, and will even to-morrow ask me, "Have you been truthful, have you been faithful? When the occasion served to warn a fellow-creature of the shoal before him, did you cry out, "Take soundings! you are in shallow water," or did you with slippery phrases gloss over the peril, because it involved no danger to yourself?""