A Dialogue Between Dean Swift and Tho. Prior, Esq.

Chapter 2

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They manage, as if they thought G.o.d had bid them be idle six Days of the Week, and Work but one, and very moderately on that one. I have often met in Authors, and think the a.s.sertion true, that the very Genius of the Popish Religion indisposes Men to Labour; as we see by their numerous Holidays, Feasts and Fasts: All which are direct Enemies to Toil and Handy-craft, and make the returns to Work disagreeable. It is undoubted that the Protestants out Trade and out Work the Papists; they have (as all observe) fewer Beggars, they have fewer Drains from their Industry, by those who sleep away their Lives in Colleges and Nunneries; they maintain a much smaller Number of secular Priests, and even to those, they do not prohibit Marriage, and to say no more at present, those lazy Drones the Friars of so many different Orders, are Cankers and Consumptions quite unknown to their Const.i.tution. In most Protestant Countries, more than ordinary Attention, for good political Reasons, has been given to this great Point. In _Holland_ all are employ"d, even the lettred World deal in Traffick and are Merchants; nay the Deaf, the Lame, the Blind, the Dumb, and the very Dead Work.

PRIOR. The Dead Work! That is a Flight extraordinary sure, Mr. _Dean_, and I must call on you to retract that Mistake.

SWIFT. Not at all; for tho" that Truth is a little incomprehensible in _Ireland_, where we have no such Incitements, in _Holland_ the Statues and Monuments of their useful and industrious Citizens, and the Epitaphs and Praises on them, prompt and inflame the living to emulate them, and push on their Virtue to excell, in every Art, and open every Road to Profit and to Glory. When I was throwing away (like other People) my Thoughts and my Time above Ground, I used often to think on these Matters; and I fear to as little Purpose as we talk of them now.

However I must say, _Tom_, that tho" if our rich People would think and grow Managers, and our Poor wou"d Work, and keep their Hands and their Children busy, nine tenths of our Evils wou"d be remov"d, yet I am convinc"d, neither of these important Points will be minded, till we are forc"d to get better Notions of Things, by seeing the Nation ruin"d by the want of them, as often as a Boy at School is whipt for playing the Truant, before he will mend.

PRIOR. Ruin is as terrible a Remedy, as a deadly Sickness is a Reformer; and I had rather hope that sumptuary Laws against Dress, Racing, Gaming, _&c._ if we were Wise enough to make them, and amendable enough to mind them when made, wou"d do our Business much better. "Tis a Misfortune for _Ireland_, that our Spendthrifts so often run out their Lives and their Estates together, and so their Examples are lost on us; for I ever thought it a Pity, they shou"d not live forty or fifty Years in beggary, their own Lives are such a Torment to them, and they become thereby such fine Scare-crows, to our young unthinking Squanderers, when they see them all the while, standing as it were in a kind of Pillory. Nothing keeps the _Dutch_ so frugal as their Loads of high Taxes, for some good Author, (and I think "tis your old Friend Sir _William Temple_) tells us, one cannot have a Dish of well dressed Fish at a Tavern in _Holland_, without paying near thirty Gabels for it. We want some Remedy for our Extravagancies of all Kinds greatly, but this is so shocking a one, that one wou"d hope the very fear of it might cure us, as some Men have renounc"d their Intemperance, by their dread of the Gout and the Doctor. Without some such helps, our fine Gentlemen seem not inclined to learn or consider, that we shou"d save immense Sums to our Country, if we eat Corn of our own sowing, drunk home-made Wines of our own Brewing, fed on Fish of our own catching, burn"d Coals of our own raising, and wore no Cloaths that were not of our own manufacturing. If they were once convinced of this, good Effects wou"d follow, and we shou"d soon acknowledge that it is barely owing to our own Extravagance, Thoughtlesness, Sleepiness, Drunkenness and Vanity, that we don"t, with one Voice, condemn and renounce such evident Errors, in our national Conduct, and fix on their Remedies.

SWIFT. This _Tom_, is merely dreaming of a publick Cure for an epidemical Distemper, as _Curtius_ says _Ptolomy_ did; but we shou"d not only get our Gentlemen, to think for the Nation and themselves; for we want severe Laws to cure the Laziness and Indolence of our lower People. As Idleness is the great Source of Theft, picking and filching, the natural Punishment of at least all smaller Criminals, seems to be hard Labour for Life, or Years. We see in _France_ and _Spain_ they man their Gallies this way, and in _Sweden_ and _Denmark_ they employ them in their publick Works, and chiefly about their Shipping and their Docks. No Punishment cou"d be more terrifying to an _Irishman_, who we generally think is averse to Labour; none cou"d be more useful to our distressed Land, where we lose more People by doing Nothing, than are destroy"d by the Wars and Conquests, the Voyages and Traffick of other Kingdoms. On this Account we shou"d take Care, that Idlers, Beggars and vagabond Strollers, shou"d be treated with the Sharpest Rigour, as they do not only deny to a.s.sist their Country by their honest Endeavours, but live like Drones on the Spoil of the Industrious. It shou"d be a Maxim in every well governed State, but especially in _Ireland_, that Idleness shou"d be as severely punish"d as petty Larceny; and to beg with an Ability to Work, shou"d be regarded and treated as a Kind of training up Youth for Stealing, (when they have learn"d the proper Cant and Tricks of their Apprenticeship) and consequently to relieve a Vagabond, shou"d be as faulty and as corrigible as receiving stolen Goods. The proper Place for the Relief of st.u.r.dy Beggars, is a good County Work-house, where the Labours of such Vagabonds (and indeed of all Criminals till they are Tried and Discharg"d) shou"d go to the Maintainance of such Poor, who are utterly incapable of Work, and whose Parishes can"t support them.

PRIOR. I am quite in your way of Thinking on this Subject, Mr. _Dean_, I remember Doctor _Basire_ in his Life of Bishop _Cosin_, tells us that in several Years Travels in _Turky_ and _Holland_, he never once met a Man who ask"d him an Alms; so that here we see the Wisdom of the State may have the same Effect with the Laws of G.o.d among the _Jews_, which prohibited any Beggar to be a Burthen, or a Disgrace to their Tribes.

Charity to Vagabonds is Cruelty to the State, which is interested as the Civil Law, and our own Statutes speak, that every Member of the Community, should use his Labour and his Substance, to the best Advantage. Every Stroller or Vagabond is a Loss to the Kingdom, and is little better than a licenc"d Plunderer of our People, and every such Person, is really a living Instance of Neglect or Ignorance in those, who shou"d give us by Law a proper Power and Place, to force him to earn his Bread by his Hands. Whoever has Health and wants Food, shou"d be oblig"d to Work one way or other, for if Idleness was always punish"d by our Statutes with severe Labour, as surely as Felony is by Death, it would then like Thieving be confin"d to the Night, and we shou"d be at least good Day Labourers. The Strength of the political Body, depends as much on its Members being properly exercised, as that of the natural, and on the Neglect of it, infinite Disorders follow.

But alas, _Dean_, this is not enough attended to in _Ireland_, or we shou"d have Work-Houses in every County, but we have the peculiar Misfortune of having this dreadful Mixture in our Circ.u.mstances; that we have all the Vices, Extravagancies, and Luxury of a rich Nation, with all the Wants, the Distresses and Despair of a poor one. If once our Gentry and n.o.bility wou"d set us fair Examples of Frugality and Activity, we shou"d soon reform, but alas! great Estates, as we use them, seem design"d for little else but the Triflers of the World, and the wretched Fashions, Fopperies and Fooleries, they are generally thrown away on. However it is certain, Providence appointed them for n.o.bler Purposes, and it were to be wish"d the present Stewards of them (for they are evidently nothing more) wou"d seriously consider this, that they may be able to give the Bestower a better Account of them.

SWIFT. I was saying so every Day, for the last fifty Years of my Slavery among Men, and all to no Purpose! But there is another Matter that makes me fear for the Welfare of _Ireland_, and that is the want of proper Manufactures being set up there. I see _Tom_, you are ready to bawl out to me, the _Irish_ Cambricks, the _Irish_ Linens, but alas!

even as to them I am sorry to say, they wou"d do _Great Britain_ and _Ireland_ twice the Service, if they were doubly encouraged, and not left to creep to those Provinces, where they might go with a brisker Progress, if the Funds of the Trustees were enlarg"d, or their Premiums more happily applied. But I leave that, _Tom_, to Time and the Legislature, for the Manufactures which I lament the want of, are those which enrich _France_, _Germany_ and _Holland_; such as those of Bra.s.s, Tin, Copper, Lead and Iron Work, in all their amazing Species; those of Gla.s.s, Tapestry, Hats, Silk, Leather, Paper, Pins, Needles, Lace, Earthen-Ware, and Numbers of others, of which our own Island can largely supply the Materials, if we wou"d make use of them. Whether it proceeds from our Ignorance or our Poverty, our before mentioned Laziness, or want of Capacity I cannot say; but Arts and Manufactures seem to be discourag"d so remarkably, in this unthinking and unthought of Island, as if we wou"d fain obtain the Name, of _Omnium bonarum Artium noverca_, formerly as I remember given to _Scythia_. Even those few Attempts we make to deserve well in some of them, are brow-beaten or neglected by our People of Fashion. This is a Complaint I must often make, and can never be too often repeated in their Ears, as without their Help no Workmen, how industrious soever, can thrive. "Tis miserable that our polite People, will not be content to Ruin their own Families by their extravagant Finery, but their Country too, and all who dare endeavour to exert a little Industry in home Manufactures.

Surely the Wearers of all Foreign Goods, and especially the Fair s.e.x, do not believe, or do not consider, that they deliberately starve their own poor Countrymen and their Families, by making them Work in vain.

They shou"d in Pity, in Generosity, in Justice reflect, that since we are not allowed to Export our Silk and Woollen Goods abroad, the least that every Friend to _Ireland_ can do, is to encourage them so far, as to wear them at Home, tho" they do not quite come up to those that are Imported to us. Tho" we are terribly impoverish"d by this fondness for Goods which other Nations send us, it is still some Comfort, that there is no Law to force us to it as yet, and that the whole of this dreadful Ruin, is grounded on our own Humours, which a little thinking, some Charity, and a general Poverty, may remove in Time. I know no reason, why a Thousand beautiful Faces I have seen in _Ireland_, shou"d desire to look lovelier than Nature, and the Produce of their native Kingdom can make them: And for our Gentlemen (if they are Gentlemen) they shou"d take a Pride in wearing nothing but what is wrought in _Irish_ Looms, and make it a Case of Conscience, like Archbishop _King_, Bishop _Berkeley_, and Crowds of Patriots I cou"d Name, to be cloathed by our own People. The _Dutch_ I am told, have lately issued a Placart, forbidding all their Subjects (excepting Day-Labourers who are too poor to trangress it) to wear any Silk or Woollen Goods not Fabricated in their Provinces. The greatest Personages are restrain"d herein by severe Penalties, and tho" we cannot make such a Law, (nor perhaps shou"d not desire it in Respect to one Country at least) yet certainly we shou"d form general Resolutions, and try to Establish an universal Custom (which is equal to any Law) of Feeding and Encouraging our own Workmen and Tradesmen.

PRIOR. Laws, Mr. _Dean_, are not so much wanting, as the Will to favour our own Goods, and our own People; and surely as you observe, all who please, may determine in their several Families, to use the Produce of our _Irish_ Looms; and in the mean Time I cannot but make this sad Reflection, that if Industry and Labour be the great Standard of Value in most Things, what (under such Discouragements) can our unemploy"d Country be worth, which except our Linens, sends abroad all the Materials for Labour to others, and lies abed like a _Spaniard_, burning Day-Light, and proud of doing Nothing.

SWIFT. I remember to have Read, when I used to lose Time upon Men and Books, that among the _Turks_, every Man of them learns some Trade or other. This Fashion they probably borrow"d from the _Jews_, who made it a Maxim, that he who does not give his Son a Trade, teaches him to be a Thief: And yet till our Protestants Taught the _Irish_ better Manners, a Trade was as seldom learn"d as a Psalter. It is true of late Years this Folly has been pretty much subdued, and Numbers of our Natives have distinguish"d themselves, by their Skill in different Arts and Handicrafts, but till this Humour wears off, of slighting whatever is wrought at Home, it were better they had learn"d to Fast than to Work.

We keep Crowds of our Artificers naked who well-deserve to be cloathed; many are as ill hutted as so many _Greenlanders_ or _Russian_ Peasants, who ought to be well housed, if any one thought them worth taking Care of and Encouraging. But what is still more unhappy, Thousands of them are forced for fear of Jails and Beggary, to run from us to wiser Countries, where they and their Arts are well receiv"d and favour"d by our Enemies or Rivals, whose Industry and Exports they Encrease, and thereby help to Starve the Friends they have forsaken. One wou"d expect common Charity to them and ourselves, and common Sense in conducting our general Interests, wou"d not only have remov"d this main Obstacle to the Prosperity of _Ireland_, but wou"d also put us on setting up all Kinds of new Manufactures, which we still want; let it cost us ever so much for setling them here, and Nursing them till they get Strength, to shift for themselves. It is certain the Publick can hardly pay too dear for such improveable Purchases, for unquestionably where the Advantages are so considerable, saving in such Cases is meanness and madness.

PRIOR. You are ever Tolling the pa.s.sing Bell of _Ireland_, and yet my fears that there is too much Reason for all you advance, keep me from opposing you; when you censure the Stupidity of our Management, in regard of every Measure that can hurt us or serve us. I spent half my Life in exclaiming in the same Manner, and I might as well have spoke to the Inhabitants of these Tombstones. There is one Particular, which with Grief I must add to all your Complaints, and it is a very discouraging one as to any Hopes of our Recovery, namely, that this Island is made up of two of the most unhappy Mixtures a Kingdom can consist of, a Mult.i.tude of Gentlemen and Beggars. The first have not Time from their Pleasures, and their own petty Interests, to think of serving us, and the others cannot either serve themselves or us, without Wages, Food or Raiment, which they cannot get, unless we allow them to Purchase them by their Labours. In short, Mr. _Dean_, while our Ladies scorn to wear any Thing that is _Irish_, and our Gentlemen pride themselves who shall Drink most _French_ Wine; they both Teach their Inferiors the same dreadful Folly, and make them join to enrich their Enemies, Beggar their own Workmen, exalt _France_, and sink _Ireland_, and drive every Creature that has Genius or Industry out of it, to Places as we observed before, where they can hope to get the Necessaries of Life by their Industry.

SWIFT. Your mentioning _French_ Wine, _Tom_, puts me in Mind of another terrible Remora, to the Prosperity of this unfortunate unthinking Country. I have often thought if _Ireland_ had never been allowed to import Foreign Wines, and we had learn"d to Content ourselves, with drinking our own Ale, Beer, Mead and Cyder, and used no other Spirituous Liquors, we shou"d have been the richest, and the honestest, the healthiest, and the happiest Nation under Heaven. It is a melancholy Thought, that poor as we are, and wretched as the Circ.u.mstances of most of our Gentry are allowed to be, as to Debts and Inc.u.mbrances; yet we actually Drink more _French_ Wine, then all _England_ together, that is so much richer and abler. The Case is, few People drink _French_ Wine in _England_, but those who have very large Estates; Numbers who have a Thousand _per Annum_, seldom tasting it; but with us, every Creature, that has tolerable Cloaths upon his Back, and a Guinea in his Pocket, drinks little else, tho" he has scarce the Conveniences of Life for his Family. There are such Mult.i.tudes that can"t relish Life or their Food without it, that one wou"d wonder how they can all be provided with it. This Difficulty indeed was soon remov"d; for I hear such Crowds now Trade in it, that it is to be fear"d, if their Customers this Year do not make haste to take it off their Hands, it grows so foul, they must Drink it themselves, or they must sell it at last for Vinegar.

PRIOR. I have heard from some Ghosts, who died of the last Vintage, that (to the Infamy of the Year 1753, be it remembered) 8000 Ton of Wine was imported into this Kingdom from _France_; to the dreadful Drain of our ready Cash, the encrease of the general Poverty of our People, and the Misery of all who Labour and cannot Eat. Allow me to observe here, Mr. _Dean_, that the _Chinese_ seem to know us well, who send us not only their Teas, but also Cups to Drink it out of; and I have often wondered that the _French_, don"t send us Bottles and Gla.s.ses with their Wines, as we have not Industry enough to make them; tho" the very Bottles for 8000 Ton are computed to cost us 67000 _l._ It is dreadful to look over such Scenes of Destruction, and much more so to know they are remediless, while our People thus court _France_ to undo them, by sending for such vast Quant.i.ties of her Claret, at the same Time I hear it is pleaded in behalf of the Importers, that they never were guilty of such a Fault before.

SWIFT. A pretty Defence truly, and yet as this was the Excuse of _Balaam_"s a.s.s to his Master, one wou"d think none but an a.s.s wou"d plead it, and I will venture to say, they had better Change it for a solemn Vow, never to be guilty of such a Folly again. However if they did take such a Resolution, I wou"d not advise them to enter into Bonds, for the Performance of that Engagement; for I fear they wou"d forfeit them, tho" the Nation was to be Bankrupt by it, as in all probability, if we continue to tun down such Quant.i.ties of this destructive Liquor, it must soon be. For my part, when I think of this national Madness, in drinking Oceans of _French_ Wine, I know not how to account for such prodigious Extravagance, in such ruinous Circ.u.mstances. We seem to live the faster, for being in a deep Decay, as Clocks have a quicker Motion, the nearer they are to being run down.

"Tis an hard Case, that evident right reason can"t Influence a Nation, and that there is a Necessity for a Majority of right Reasoners, to make thinking Creatures (as we are commonly called) act as their Interest and Happiness demand. When once that fortunate Majority is gain"d, between wise Laws and good Customs, People take up general Maxims and Manners, that direct their Conduct, and form both their private and publick Behaviour, so as to conduce to the good of the Whole, and the well Being of each Individual. But alas! _Tom_, in _Ireland_, we neither think, or act for ourselves or the Publick, nor seem to have any System of Rules, for managing our Estates or our Country; but we live in an extempore Method, and as Time serves, and Accidents happen, we Conduct ourselves. When we are famish"d we think of Bread, when frozen to Death, of Coals and Fire, and when we grow uneasy with the Thoughts of all our Mismanagements, Madness and Follies, a large Dose of Wine (a Hair of the very same Dog) relieves all our Griefs over Night, and we rise as Wise and as Provident as ever in the Morning. As to the Kingdom itself, we make such haste to get it undone, as if we fear"d it wou"d not be ruin"d Time enough; and yet we may plead in Excuse, that particular Gentlemen manage no better for themselves, or their Families. It is certain he is reckon"d no bad Manager, among his neighbouring "Squires, who can cleverly stave off his Creditors, and keep up his Port of living undisturb"d, till he can sell (I mean settle) his Son, and clear off his Inc.u.mbrances with the Wife"s Fortune.

PRIOR. A very true, and as sad an Account of Things; and what inhances our Misery is, that _France_ thrives by thus draining our vital Blood from us, as the Physicians in old _Rome_, made their decay"d Patients sustain themselves, by sucking the streaming Veins of their poor Slaves. If we paid a moderate Price for our Liquor, it were something, but the _French_ raise their Demands, in proportion to our Calls for it; and our generous Importers, never endeavour to beat them down, as they find they get the greater Gain, the dearer they buy it; and our Gentlemen take up the same prudent way of Thinking, and never believe themselves so generous, as when they drink Wines, that their poorer Neighbours cannot Purchase. The present Fulness of the Treasury, vastly beyond all former Years, shews how far our Madness is risen; for this Folly of drinking away both our Estates and our Reason, has seized like an epidemical Plague, on all Ranks of Men among us. Even those of the poorer Sort, from a n.o.ble Emulation of copying their betters, drink as much Wine as they can; and where their Purses or their Credit will not reach so high, they must have foreign Liquors, tho" they be only Mum or Cyder, Porter or Perry, and seem resolved to shew they are as little afraid of a Jail, as greater Persons.

SWIFT. In other Nations the n.o.bility and Gentry, think for the Commonalty, and govern their Manners by the Laws they make, and the becoming Examples they set them. But in this poor ill-starr"d Island, they corrupt them by their false Splendour, by their foreign Luxury, by despising Virtue, Religion and Temperance, and as fast as they can drinking themselves out of the World, and sinking their Fortunes, in both which they are faithfully copied, by their Inferiors. I have often thought while I was among them, that if our Gentlemen were oblig"d by Law, to give in Accounts to the Publick of their annual Expences, as Children do to their Parents, in order to have them regulated; what miserable Oeconomists they wou"d appear to be, both for their own and their Country"s Interests. The Article of Drinking is grown so immense, and at the same Time so general, that if some Fence is not provided for it soon, this Nation will be more in Danger from this Land-Flood, than the _Dutch_ are from being overwhelm"d by the Ocean. What imbitters these Reflections the more is, that tho" all our Exports are the very Necessaries of Life, which we send off to Feed and Cloath other Nations, yet all our Imports, are the meer Superfluities of Luxury and Vanity, that keep our Natives naked and starv"d, and ruin the Healths of those of the better Sort. I say ruin the Healths, for I believe, if you and I, _Tom_, were to draw up a List of all our Acquaintances, who have died Martyrs to Wine and good Fellowship, it wou"d look like a _London_ Plague-Bill in 1666. _Pharaoh_ and his Army wou"d appear but as an Handful to those I cou"d reckon up, within these last fifty Years, that have perish"d in this red Sea of Claret; and what Crowds are there, now creeping by this way alone, into Stone and Gout, Rheumatisms, Palsies and Dropsies; after having by their Love of the Bottle, exchang"d their Youth and their Strength, not for a short and a merry Life, but a short and a miserable one.

PRIOR. It is a terrible Thing to consider, if half the Money paid for _French_ Wine, was laid out in Building and Planting here, what a Garden they wou"d make of this whole Island; and instead of this, they make the Bottle the Business of their Lives, and sacrifice to this n.o.ble Pa.s.sion, I will not say their Country, (for that no body minds) but their Healths and their Fortunes as readily as their Reason. It is odd to me, Mr. _Dean_, if we must use foreign Wines, why we do not make those of _Portugal_, _Spain_, _Italy_ and _Sicily_, cheap by low Duties, and the _French_ twice as dear by high ones; for by this means, we cou"d get Drunk with the Loss of less Time, and Health, and Money.

If even such a Tax was laid on it, as would make its Consumption less general, and hinder the poorer part of our People, from being ruin"d by the dreadful Affectation, of drinking like the Men of Figure and Fashion, it wou"d be an excellent Method; and above all if the additional Taxes, were appropriated to extend the Linen Manufacture thro" the Southern Provinces. This wou"d soon enrich us, and impoverish at the same Time, the great Enemy to the repose of _Europe_; for "tis by her Wines and our Money chiefly, that _France_ has been enabled, to soar towards Universal Monarchy, and if this Feather was pluck"d from her, she wou"d soon shorten her Flights, and droop her Wings.

SWIFT. You think extravagantly and wildly! You cheat yourself like most Projectors, with your own Dreams, and your Expectations are suited only to Citizens, who live and act, _Tanquam in Republica Platonis_. Can you be so absurd as to hope, that Men in these Days, and in Manners like ours, shou"d listen to Reason; and think our own Beer, Ale, Cyder, Mead and home Wines, fittest and best for themselves, their Friends and their Families? Can you imagine that this Age of Intemperance and Luxury, will think a while of these important Truths, instead of pleasing their Palates, and driving off that heavy Load, their Time, with the Roar of Jollity and Riot? Is it to be expected that good Fellows and Pot Companions, will be influenced by a Regard for the Welfare of _Ireland_, when they will not value their own Healths, nor avoid all the Distempers we lately reckon"d up, as well as all the nervous Disorders, that spring from the fatal Tartar, which Claret by sad Experience is found to abound with? I was weak enough, to read Physick Books in my old Age, and I remember _Galen_ told me, that in all Wine there is something Indigestible in its self, and ruinous to true complete Concoction; but our best modern Physicians do also a.s.sert, that the Tartar in _French_ Wine, is the Fountain of a Crowd of Plagues and Pains, to our wretched Bodies. We read this in a Number of Authors, and have the Tradition handed down, from the Records of the Dead and the Living, who have suffered by neglecting such good Advice; but where are the _Recabites_ that will listen to such Councils, in these drinking Days.

PRIOR. But as destructive as Wine is to us, we must not forget the dreadful Effects, Spirituous Liquors have on our Country and our Bodies. They are really a sort of Liquid Flames, which corrode the Coats of the Stomach, thicken the Juices, and enflame the Blood, and in a Word, absolutely subvert the whole Animal Oeconomy. The frequent use of them, has had as bad Effects on our poor Natives, as Gin in _Great Britain_; and besides driving many Wretches into Thefts, Quarrels, Murders and Robberies, it kills as many of the Poor, (when Drunk to excess) as Wine does of the Rich. Even our own renowned _Whisky_, tho"

it has banish"d the Brandies of _France_, yet is almost as pernicious to our Healths and our Morals; tho" we have this poor Comfort, since Spirituous Liquors we must have, that it is better to pay our _Irish_ Farmers, for destroying us, (if we must be destroy"d) than the _French_ Vignarons about _Bourdeaux_.

SWIFT. I allow indeed our _Irish_ Spirits, are preferable to those made in _France_; but after all, the chief good Quality of them is, that the King gets a prodigious encrease of his Revenue, by our Stills. It were to be wish"d, that this Part of his Majesty"s Duties, that is founded on the Intemperance of his People, was supplied by some other Tax; for it is dreadful to consider, how much the Crown is interested, that the Subject shou"d neither be frugal or sober. The Duty on our Spirits is the best paid Money in the World, unless we except what we pay for our Wine; for I think the only Debts we pay well, are to the Merchant who Poisons us, and the Sharpers who bubble us at Play. If I were alive, I wou"d write a Book against the dreadful Intemperance of this Age and this Country; tho" I doubt if it wou"d do us much Service; for there is a Time, when the n.o.blest Medicines are of no Use in a Distemper, and I fear our political Diseases are now so desperate, that to die as easily as we can, and to put it off as long as we can, is all our poor Country can hope for. I will therefore leave this, and go to another great Obstacle to the welfare of _Ireland_, and that is the want of Tillage amongst us.

PRIOR. That is indeed, Mr. _Dean_, a terrible Evil, and like most of our Evils, chiefly owing to ourselves. We do not want this additional Hardship to many others, that what we earn by our Labours in good Years, goes all from us in a scarce one, and leaves us either without Food or without Money.

SWIFT. Surely if repeated Sufferings make us patient, we might expect that our frequent Misfortunes, might make us Wise; and yet Famines are not able to oblige us to Plow, nor our Legislature to force us to it, by salutary Laws. One wou"d believe there were neither Thinkers or Reasoners, (unpoison"d by French Wine) left in _Ireland_. Are we to be a Nation of Beasts, and a few Savages to watch them, and only some Landlords and Butchers to divide the Spoil, and share the Plunder of a Nation, wasted of its Villages and People, as _William Rufus_, serv"d part of _Kent_, to feed his Deer? Good G.o.d! what a Scandal are we growing, to all the Kingdoms of the Earth, that set up for a regulated Government, or a sensible equal Polity? Surely, _Tom_, Men with common Sense, and common Industry, might make something else of this fertile Country, than a wild solitary Extent of Pastures; and that Men and civilized Creatures, might thrive here as well as Beasts and Barbarians; and that we need not let this poor Region, look like the one ey"d _Polyphemus_"s Island, spoil"d of its Inhabitants, and occupied only by his Sheep and his Cattle? We all know, Grazing makes Countries wild and horrid, their People slothful and uncultivated as the Soil; but one might bear any Fault but starving; and yet every three or four Years, Men here are near famishing for want of Bread, and ready to eat up each other, like Lord _Al----ms"_ Dogs in the Kennel.

It is hard to say, what sort of People we are, for it is strange that the universal Instinct, that governs all the lower Ranks of Animals, or that the great Law of Self-preservation, does not influence our Countrymen so far, as to provide their own Bread. Not to Insult us with wiser Nations, I wou"d at least expect, that we shou"d shew ourselves, as provident as the Republick of Ants, and keep something to preserve Life and Soul together, when Want and Winter come. We seem to be quite uninfluenced by Hopes or Fears, the two great ruling Pa.s.sions of the Soul; and as merry and improvident, as so many Gra.s.s-hoppers. In other Countries if Sheep eat up Men, the Men have their Revenge and eat up Sheep; but in _Ireland_, wretched, thoughtless _Ireland_, Sheep eat up more Men than all the Wolves on the Earth, without our poor Natives, being able to devour one of them, but now and then, when we Steal them, just to keep Life and Soul together.

PRIOR. The very Earth seems to cry out against us, Mr. _Dean_, for our want of labouring it, as it is ready to reward the Industrious, with fertile Crops, and large Returns. He who will work up its natural Strength sufficiently, need never want Food or Raiment, or a good warm Cabbin, to encourage him to go on, and by honest Care and Toils, in Time enrich himself and his Country. We observ"d before, that the Women who were once the idlest part of our People, are now the most Industrious; and if the Men will improve as fast at the Plow, as they have done at the Wheel, we shou"d soon see a vast Change in our Circ.u.mstances. Our pinch"d miserable way of Living, wou"d be turn"d to Plenty and Neatness, Warmth and Health; and the Plow wou"d enliven the Wheel and the Reel, and keep every Child, and every s.e.x in Motion. All this we may hope from good and wise Governors; of such force is Thinking for the Body, when the Body in return, will Work to make itself and the Mind easy. If our Rulers and Legislators, wou"d once heartily set about contriving, to get us Bread out of our own Fields, and oblige us by Laws to till the Ground sufficiently, we might soon see our People and their Children, as busy as so many _j.a.ponese_ Villagers, when the Earth is loaded with their Harvests. However, I fear neither of these Things will be done, till we are forc"d to it, by seeing Twenty-Thousand poor Mortals starv"d once more, and twice as many driven out of our Country; just as we see People seldom build Bridges over the River, till they find Numbers of Travellers, have been drown"d in Fording it.

SWIFT. A Foreigner wou"d think it as absurd, to hear that our Natives want Food, while we Export such amazing Quant.i.ties of Provisions; as that the Commonalty round _Newcastle_, wanted Firing, tho" they furnish _London_ with their Coals. He wou"d ask, why we don"t Tax such a mad Exportation, and by laying Twelve-pence per Barrel, on all salted Beef and Pork, raise a Fund for Premiums, to the greatest Number of Acres plow"d in each County; that at least we may have Bread for our Natives, who dare not hope for Flesh to eat with it. "Tis a sad and a reproachful Prospect to us, to observe the _Chinese_ levelling Mountains, banking in Rivers, and draining Mora.s.ses, to improve and Dung them for the Plow; and to see in _Ireland_, as fertile Plains as any in the Earth, lying untill"d, and feeding Sheep and Bullocks, instead of Men, of Industrious social thinking Creatures! The Plow is the Cause that _China_ swarms with large Cities and Villages, and "tis from the want of Tillage, that I remember to have seen in _Munster_, the wretched Tenants, as ill-housed as so many _Hottentots_; which proceeds from the same Defect, the Country there is so little Populous.

Great Towns, and fair Villages, are not only the Strength and Ornament of any Country, but good Dwellings do naturally encrease Children, as a Barn does Mice, and from the same Reason too. Besides Buildings like those in _China_, always bring Crowds of Artificers together, as they are sure of Business and Employment from them; and thence also the Country too, must become thicker Planted and better Peopled; but in _Ireland_, all these Blessings are as hopeless, and as rare as Virtue, Wisdom or Industry. Without Tillage properly follow"d and encourag"d, "tis impossible our Numbers will ever encrease sufficiently; nay they must necessarily decline every Day; nor shall we be able to feed tolerably, those Remnants of our Countrymen, whom our Flocks of Sheep, and Herds of Bullocks, don"t drive to _France_ and _America_, those great Drains of wretched _Ireland_. But what is fully as bad is, that without Tillage, we shall be perpetually drawing off what little Money we have, and Bread will be so dear, that "tis impossible but other Nations who feed cheaper, must undersell us in our Manufactures.

Besides how can there be any depending on stated Prices for our Goods, while Bread is constantly so fluctuating in its Value, as it is in _Ireland_; since the Wages of the Workmen, will ever depend on the Price he pays for his Food? This is by the bye, a Circ.u.mstance, which must for ever shut out the Linen Business from Munster, and all the grazing Counties; it being absolutely impossible for it to subsist, without Tillage and Hands, which ever go together. It cannot be the Profit, that endears Grazing to the Southern Provinces; since many excellent Authors, and particularly Mr. _Dobbs_, have clearly demonstrated the vast Difference, betwixt Tillage and Grazing, as to the real Gain by each; and it is clear we lose one Year with another, 200,000_l._ to our Country, by this impolitick Turn to Stocks. This is enough in Conscience, one wou"d imagine for this unthinking Kingdom; but we must add to this Loss also, the Mult.i.tudes, we force Abroad or starve at Home, and the real Gain we shou"d make by their Arts and Labour, and the encrease of Houses, Marriages, Children, Health, Wealth and Plenty, which they naturally bring with them. If our wise Graziers wou"d once consider these Things, and that our Northern Colonies in _America_, are supplying those in the South with Beef, and threatning to beat us by Degrees out of that Trade, they will perceive how necessary it is, to have a Law for Tillage, and that without it, we may say with the _aegyptians_, "We be all dead Men." This I am sure of, and I will only add that "tis in vain to make Laws, for encouraging our Linen, or to expect to keep Money enough in our Kingdom, to pay our Rents, or circulate Trade, when such prodigious Sums, go out annually for Grain, by which, and the vast Importation of _French_ Wine, we are now actually on the very Brink of Bankruptcy and Ruin.

SWIFT. I know no better way to convince any one, of the superior Advantages, arising from Tillage, compar"d to those by Grazing, then to make him consider the Circ.u.mstances of the People in _Ulster_, and those in the other Provinces. In the first, all are laborious, all are well Cloath"d, well Fed, well Housed and Taught; in the last, all Lazy, Naked, Starv"d, Lodg"d in dirty Hutts, and almost Illiterate. The superior Advantages which the North so eminently enjoys, proceed not so much from the different Genius"s, of the two opposite Religions, which prevail there, and in the South, (tho" that is something) but from Tillage and Labour, and all the Arts "tis employ"d in, being fixt in _Ulster_. This shews the Care we shou"d take, to encourage Tillage in this half starv"d Island, and the wisest Nations have ever thought they cou"d not take too much about it. _Aulus Gellius_ tells us, that the wise _Romans_ kept Inspectors, over the Agriculture of their People, who took due Care, that every one manag"d their Grounds, in the most skilful and useful Manner, and to instruct the Ignorant and punish the Refractory. At this Day, _Pere du Halde_ a.s.sures us, that the _Chinese_ do in the most rigid Manner, oblige every one to sow their Grounds or forfeit them; and they appoint judicious Surveyors, who every Year, make Returns to the Magistrates, of the several Plow-Lands, and their different Fertility. This may convince us, what these two wise Nations thought, of the Benefit of Agriculture; and if any Thing cou"d make us renounce our destructive Pa.s.sion for Grazing, one might tell them, that "tis recommended by him that made the Earth, in many Pa.s.sages of holy Writ; and if you remember, _Moses_ also a.s.signs it, as one Reason for G.o.d"s creating _Adam_, That Man was wanted to Till the Ground. When I was talking of the _Roman_ and _Chinese_ Inspectors of their Tillage, I shou"d have mention"d that the _Jews_ had such also; for we find the Names of those who in _David_"s Time, were Superintendants of such Matters, recorded in the [3]_Chronicles_. Possibly in these blessed Times for Acting and Thinking freely, we shou"d not relish such Dictators to the Plow, nor any penal Laws to enforce our Tillage; but certain I am, that without some Laws that will execute themselves, (how averse soever we may be to them) we shall still continue in the utmost Danger of Beggary and Famine. We may very well submit, even to such compulsatory Laws in this Kingdom, since every one may read in our Histories, that _England_ was often oblig"d, to force her Subjects to return to the Plow, when the lazy Method of pasturing Cattle, had distrest that Kingdom; and "tis chiefly to the Statutes made by the two last _Henries_ and _Edward_ the VIth, that she owes the Blessing, of her being now the Granary of _Europe_, and of her enjoying the Advantages of having improv"d her Agriculture, beyond all other Nations. It is to be hop"d, if our late Act to encrease our Tillage, was properly amended, and form"d so as to make the Recovery of the Penalties more easy, it wou"d have very happy Effects here; as Agriculture is the Source of Plenty, and the nursing Mother of Arts and Manufactures. We observ"d before, that to see Beggars in any well regulated State, is a reproach to its Laws and Government; but to see a Nation of Beggars, is too scandalous to have it exemplified in any Kingdom but _Ireland_; and yet without an effectual Law for Tillage, that must unquestionably be our Misfortune for a while, and in some Years our Ruin. I am at a Loss how to account for this universal Conspiracy to destroy ourselves, which is the more alarming, as our own Plots against our own Happiness generally succeed. Have we made a Vow of Poverty, like the Capuchin Friars, or have we entred into a Confederacy to enrich every Country but our own? For if not, whence comes it, that above all other Nations we have the finest Ports, without Ships or Trade, the greatest Number of able Hands, without any care of Employing them, and that we are blest with so many Millions, of rich arable Acres without Plowing them, and such Numbers of Men of Rank and Fortune, without proper Zeal or Spirit, to remedy these Evils which we groan under? But there are two Instances of our Folly as to Tillage, that I cannot pa.s.s by. The first is, that we chuse the North, for the main Store-House of the Kingdom, where we have not only the barrenest Lands, but the worst Seasons, and where the Wet and Bleakness of the Country, produce tardy Harvests, fierce Winds and heavy Rains; and where the Ground is not near so fit for the Production of Wheat, as the rich Plains of our other Provinces, that lye nearer to the Sun. The other Instance of our Folly, is our rejecting in the Year 1710, the Bill transmitted from _England_, that allowed a large Premium for our exported Corn, which wou"d have been the greatest Encouragement to our Tillage, and consequently the greatest Blessing to this unfortunate Kingdom. I will not reckon up the Millions it wou"d have sav"d us, that have since gone out for Bread; nor those it wou"d have gain"d us, by the encrease of our Manufactures, and the keeping busy at Home, all the Hands we have been depriv"d of by subsequent Famines; but I will say this, that as our Zeal for his Majesty"s Succession, our dread of the Pretender, and our Jealousy of the Duke of _Ormond_"s popular Arts, made us then throw out that Act; so it is to be hop"d, that the King will in the Generosity of his Soul, restore us that desireable Bill which we lost for him.

[3] _1 Chronicles, 27. ch. v. 25 and 26._

PRIOR. I heartily wish it, Mr. _Dean_, and tho" we had then a Lord Lieutenant highly regarded by the Ministry, favour"d by the Queen, and greatly belov"d in _Ireland_, yet it is as true, that we have one at present, who is not inferior to him in those Advantages, and vastly superior to him in others; and who certainly has as sincere a desire to serve us, as ever possest a _Boulter_, a _Berkeley_ or a _Swift_, for I will not presume to join my Name with such Patriots. I hope we shall find it so by Experience, but whenever he does procure us that Blessing, if he wou"d complete our Obligations to him, and endear himself for ever to _Ireland_, he must add to it, the establishing Granaries in _Dublin_, _Cork_, and such Parts of the Kingdom, where they will be the most useful to those great Ends, the keeping Bread at a fix"d Price, as well as our Manufactures, and the Wages of those who Work them, whose Labour must ever depend on their Food. Without these, we must live dependent on Accidents, Winds and Seasons, and the Mercy of Corn-Factors; and as both the old _Jews_ and the old _Romans_, had such Store-Houses, and the wisest Governments in _Europe_, made use of them with the exactest Providence, and to the greatest Advantage under proper Regulations; surely we shall not be depriv"d of such Blessings long. They are the great security to the Welder, that his Grain shall bear a fair encouraging Price, and at the same Time a Restraint on the rapacious Avarice of the Farmer, and the Corn-Chandler abroad and at Home; and as by being furnish"d in cheap Years, and all Exportations stopt till they"re fill"d, they wou"d keep a fair Balance on the Price of Bread, he who desires to be bless"d by the Poor and the Industrious here, will not fail to add this Favour to all that we hope to receive from him.

SWIFT. I don"t like praying to Saints that must pray to others. Our best Way is to address his Majesty for whatever we stand in need of; tho" after all, what can we hope _England_ will do for us, who sees our Wants, knows what has occasioned them, and what would relieve them, and yet takes not the least Step to serve us. This single Circ.u.mstance looks with an ill-omen"d Aspect on the Affairs of _Ireland_, and is another main Reason, which I must offer to you, why I think our Days of Prosperity are as far off as the great _Platonick_ Year.

PRIOR. I have often thought, Mr. _Dean_, our Clamours against _England_ very ill grounded, tho" many, who know they are false or foolish, are apt, for no good Ends, to encourage them. "Tis to _England_ that we owe that we are yet a Nation, that we are Freemen and Protestants, and enjoy our civil and religious Rights, by the same Zeal and Efforts which secured their own. They have left large Branches of Trade and Manufactures open to us; and even our Linen and our Fisheries, our Tillage and our Collieries, our Salt-works, and our Mines, (not to mention many others) would employ most of the idle Hands in the Kingdom, if we would once set vigorously about them. Can we be so unreasonable as to expect she will distress her own Natives, to encourage those in _Ireland_, as if they had not Sense to consider, that their Charity, as well as ours, should ever begin at home? It can never be denied, that they have done largely for us, if we would do something to help ourselves, with proper Industry, and an eager Zeal to serve our Country. They do not hinder us to save 300000 _l._ _per Annum_, by using our own Woollen and Silken Manufactures, our own Salt, our own Sugar, our own Grain, Hops and Coals, Ale, Cyder, Bark and Cheese, our own Iron and Iron-ware, Paper and Gla.s.s; and if we will not work them up, nor use them when wrought, are they to be blamed, or we?

Would you have them make a Law to prohibit the Importation of such Things to _Ireland_, and force us to use our Hands for our own Wants, whether we will or no?

SWIFT. I wish they would; it would be of infinite Service to this poor Country, which they impoverish by the wasteful Consumption of _English_ Goods, that devour our Money, and deaden our Industry. That we owe many Blessings to _England_, I never doubted, even when I was alive, and as far as was in her Power, disgraced and maltreated by her, and much less shall I dispute it now. However, I can reckon up a large Catalogue of Complaints and Distresses, which _Ireland_ can very justly charge her with.

PRIOR. Allowing all this to be true, as, to my Sorrow, I see you have some Grounds for your a.s.sertion; are they to be reviled or envy"d for sending us their Goods, if we are so mad as to call for them? Would you have them hinder your buying their Commodities? Or, to go a little further, would we be hinder"d if they did? If we cut our own Throats, in our own wise Judgments, would you have them make a Law to gibbet us for it after we are dead? I allow you many of our Murmurings are just; but for the Love of Truth and Goodness, let us lament our Case with some Sense, and begin at the right End with railing at ourselves. I do not deny, that we are much impoverish"d by their Importations, nay, that by them we are in some Sense of the Word, Beggars; But, dear _Dean_, who ever hated Beggars more than you did, that had Health and Hands, and could work and help themselves, and would not. If our People will neither set up Manufactures, nor encourage them when set up, if they will not promote Agriculture by large Premiums through the Kingdom, but had rather beg Bread from their industrious Neighbours; if they will neither build Granaries, or set up Fisheries or Collieries: If Gentlemen will neither live at home, nor build and improve their Estates, to tempt their Sons to live there; if they see Societies set up for the Service of _Ireland_, and won"t spare Shillings a-piece from their Diversions, to increase their Force and Power to help us, are the _English_ to be blamed, or ourselves, if they leave it to our Choice either to mend our Follies, or to suffer by them.

SWIFT. The Truth is (though I am loth to confess it) I fear we are too lazy, because we are not extraordinarily encouraged, either here or by _England_; and probably they want to see us more alert, before they help us further; and in the mean time, between our Gentlemen who go abroad for Pleasure, and our Poor for Bread, we are like a Ship that is run a-ground, and the Hands which should have saved her gone off.

People that are unfortunate love to have some one to lay the Blame on; and so we rail at _England_, as I remember Mrs. _Halley_ (the Wife of the famous Astronomer) did at the Stars, who used to wring her Hands, and bawl out, My Curse, and G.o.d"s Curse upon them for Stars, for they have ruined me and my Family; whereas, like _Job_"s Wife, she ought to have cursed her Husband for his star-gazing Folly. At the same Time I never did, nor ever will forgive _England_ for not helping us more than she does: We are a Mint in her Hands, but through her Negligence or Diffidence it is an unwrought one, though the Ore is vastly rich and promising.

PRIOR. I must agree with you there, and yet I am convinced, that the Fear of making their own People jealous, the Weight of their Debts, their violent Parties, and their decayed Trade, prevent their doing all they would for us or themselves; the Charity, the unbounded Charity, _England_ extended to us at the Revolution, her Encouragement to our Linens, our Woollen Yarn, and our Cambricks, and to name no more, her Benefactions to our Charter-Schools, are Evidences of her Love to us which can never be forgotten. But beside all this, if _England_ has a Zeal for her own Welfare, she must have a good Will for ours; for she knows and feels every Improvement made in _Ireland_, that does not directly clash with her Interest, is pouring Treasure into her own Lap, as regularly as what the River gets is returned to the Ocean. "Tis evident, if we are better cloath"d, peopled, fed, and housed here; if our Wealth be encreased, or our Inhabitants or Country improved, we shall of Course take off more of her Goods, and spend more of our Money in _London_, which is to all Intents and Purposes, as much our Metropolis as _England_"s. We already, by the mending of our Circ.u.mstances in some Respects, and the raising our Rents, do actually spend thrice as much there as our Grandfathers did; and it is as plain a Truth, that our Grandchildren will hereafter redouble what we carry there now. Can there be a Doubt then, that _England_ must consult our Welfare, as long as she attends to her own? Though we live in different Islands, we are in effect but one People, and generally Children of the same Family; all we want to make us happy together is, that the elder Brother should carry to us with Affection and Regard and we to him with Respect and Deference, without Jealousies or Quarrels for Trifles or Things that cannot be helped, we never interfering with them, nor they oppressing or cramping us.

SWIFT. You are a very civil Magistrate, as _St. John_ says, and have adjusted Things very amicably; but there is another Reason for _England_"s protecting us, which I cannot pa.s.s by, and that is because any bold Step of the Crown in future Ages to absolute Power, will probably begin here. "Tis therefore to be hoped, our Brethren in _Great-Britain_, who (whatever may become of them) are not born Slaves like some People I won"t name, will watch us like a Beacon, whenever bad or weak Men set this poor Island on Fire, either to plunder or to frighten it, or for any other n.o.ble political Scheme. I must own, _Tom_, while I was playing the Fool in the World, like my Neighbours, I used to rail at _England_ severely, and I had my Reasons for it; but though I am altered much as to that Point, there are several Things that I still think her blameable in, and particularly for the small Number of _Irishmen_ that are preferred in Church and State. The Want of all proper Encouragement here, for every Man"s exerting his Abilities as far as they can go, has terrible Effects on the very Genius and Character of our Nation. It actually keeps our Schools unfill"d, and thins our College to a surprising Degree; and makes our People look on the little Virtue we have yet kept among us, as useless and impertinent in a Country, where they are out of Fashion, and where Alliance, and Blood, and Family-Interest, make our Const.i.tution in Church and State, (and especially the Church) rather hereditary than elective. This is a great national Grievance, so as to make it a Sort of Misfortune to be born here; nor do I see any Hopes of a Remedy, unless we get a Bill of Naturalization past on the other Side of the Water for all _Irishmen_, as well as for the _Jews_. At present there is as little Encouragement for Knowledge, or the learned Arts in _Ireland_, as in the _Isle of Man_, or rather less; for though their Preferments and Posts are fewer, they are only bestowed on Natives. By this Means it will come to pa.s.s in Time, that our Parts must be as slight as our Encouragements, and poor as our Country; for here, as in the dead Level of the Ocean, there is no Rising but by Storms and Tempests, and the Miseries and Ruins they occasion; and therefore half our Gentry owe their Estates to the Wars and Rebellions of Madmen and Bigots. But as to Eminence in Learning, or distinguish"d Abilities, they are quite overlook"d; or at least the Handful, that _Ireland_ has seen preferred of her Natives by them, is miserably small. In other Nations some, nay, Crowds, are advanced by their Knowledge and Talents, but here they are discountenanced and brow-beaten; some are enriched by Trade, but here all we have is contrived to ruin us: Some make large Fortunes by their Skill in the Laws, but with us, where Plaintiffs or Defendants are one or other of them Beggars, the Proverb will tell you what is got by the Suit. I must add to all these Complaints, that even Avarice cannot bring a Man in _Ireland_ a moderate Acquisition of Wealth; for here all Men do so universally outlive their Circ.u.mstances, that Saving is grown as scandalous as Thieving, and a Man is hooted out of the World more frequently for the one, than he is hanged for the other.

PRIOR. It is easier, Mr. _Dean_, to exclaim on this Head, than to shew the Justice of the Complaint; for whoever will carefully look over the Lists of those who have been preferred in Church and State for some Years, will find there has been greater Attention than ever paid to this Matter. But lest you should dispute this Fact, I will only hint, that there are Grounds to say, this Complaint will not be so common a Topick of Discourse with _Irishmen_, as we knew it in our Time; and probably as Learning and Knowledge may therefore make greater Advances among us than ever, we shall find _Irishmen_ hereafter as much distinguished by their Preferments as their Merit. But however that may be, it will be as great Madness for us to malign or revile _England_ on such Disgusts and Slights, as for a younger Son to quarrel with his Father, to whom he owes his being what he is, and who may in Time vastly enlarge his Portion and his Happiness, if he behaves with Duty and Love. This I will be bold to say, that we are possess"d of as many civil Advantages, under our Connections with _England_, as we enjoy from our natural ones, and our Situation in this Climate, this Sun, and this World of Life and Matter, where we derive so many Blessings from the Bounty of the Creator.

SWIFT. I wish, _Tom_, you would not stir that Bone of Contention, for there is a great deal to be said on both Sides of the Question, which, as I love to keep in good Humour, and be as quiet in my Grave as I can, I do not care for wrangling about. But this I must say, as to your Hints of our being Children of the same Family, that you had better let them alone, for it stirs my Spleen too violently. I am sure, if we are so, we fare like the rest of the younger Children in the World, who get but a Pittance to starve on, while the elder Brother runs away with the Bulk of the Fortune. I will not dwell on what we lose to her by Absentees, but I know between our Wool, our Woollen and Worsted Yarn, our Linens and Linen Yarn, our Copper, Lead, and Iron Ore, our Hides, Skins, Tallow, all which are the Primums and Foundations of her great Manufactures, she makes immense Gains by her Trade with our Country, and the Ships she employs in it. I must also add, that we take from her the largest Supplies of her Grain and her Manufactures of any Nation upon Earth; and besides the Crowds of _English_ Gentlemen, that are possess"d of Employments, Commissions, Pensions, and Preferments here, she makes near two Millions by the Trade with _Ireland_; which I know is more than she gains from the rest of the World. I am not peevish, or at least so peevish, as I used to be, when I had vile Flesh and Blood about me; but these are plain confest honest Truths, and if that generous large thoughted Nation, will consider them calmly and candidly; possibly she will make us other Returns, than cramping our Trade, making us poor Pet.i.tioners, for leave to live by our Linen, and binding us by Laws (a Thing which every _Briton_ shou"d start at) to which we never gave our Consent.

PRIOR. I cannot enter on that Subject, without irritating you, and therefore, Mr. _Dean_, I will drop it; but this I must say, that _England_ had probably shewn us more Affection and Indulgence, if she had not been kept in perpetual Alarms, by our endeavouring to Rival her in her great Staple, the Woollen Trade. I have heard of some Women, who to regain their Husband"s Affections, strove to make them Jealous; but I fancy that is no good Artifice, to make Nations love one another, and I hope as our Linen Manufactures, and our Tillage encrease in the South; we shall remove all uneasiness from that Quarter. It is certain our Interests and _England_"s are inseparably united, and he must be a very weak, or a very malicious Man, who wou"d endeavour to divide our Inclinations, and set up a Wall Part.i.tion between us; by keeping up artificial Jealousy on the one Side, and unnatural Aversion on the other. It wou"d be absurd to think that because we have a broader Arm of the Sea, between us and _England_ than the _Isle of Wight_, or _Anglesea_; that therefore we ought to have, different Rules and Views of Acting; whereas we shou"d consider ourselves as one People, join"d in one System of Government, Religion, Laws and Liberties; and he that divides us Ruins us.

SWIFT. What dost thou talk of dividing us? I hope that Word was not aim"d at me. I am not for Divisions (nor let me whisper you in the Ear, _Tom_) Unions either, till I see more Cause. But in the mean Time, I say since _England_ makes so much by _Ireland_, she ought to help us to get something for ourselves, if it was for no other Reason but to double her Gain by us. But it is amazing how a Nation so sensible and enterprizing as she is generally allow"d to be, can so long over look the vast Advantages she might draw from us, if we were cultivated and improv"d under her Direction. Can she be Ignorant how useful, so large and so fertile a Country may be to her, where Hands and Food are so easily had, and may be turn"d to every Manufacture she wants, as effectually as the Motion of an Army by a skilful General. And if she knows it, can she neglect it? Does she want to be told, where she may most properly and providently give all the vast Sums she pays, for Hempen and Linen Manufactures to our Neighbours round the _Baltick_?

Does she understand what Gain she wou"d make, if the Lands here were raised by Trade and Manufactures, to a Million more than they now set for, and how soon this may be done? Is she yet to learn, that by encouraging the Woollen Business here, in such Articles only, as her Rivals undersell her in, she wou"d effectually recover them out of their Hands, by employing the _Irish_, who by paying no Taxes on their Milk and Potatoes, can undersell the World? Is she Ignorant what she might make, by compleatly working our Mines, by opening our Trade to her Plantations effectually, and to Name no more by setting up extended Fisheries here, (the Gain from which one wou"d be tempted to think, was hinted by _Christ_"s bidding St. _Peter_, take Money out of the Fishes Mouth) and thereby besides the Profit of what we vend, breeding Thousands of Mariners to man her Navy. If these are certain Facts, I hope you will allow me without Grumbling, to a.s.sert two plain Truths; first that there never was a Nation so Affectionate, so Loyal as _Ireland_; and secondly, That there never was a rebellious People so much suspected, so long neglected, and so saintly, so coldly encourag"d to serve her.

PRIOR. Tho" I cannot agree with you, Mr. _Dean_, in some of these Particulars, yet I will avoid Wrangling with an old Friend; but I must say you are too ready to lay blame upon _England_; when our own People are more to be reproach"d than our Neighbours, who have more Affairs of their own on their Hands, than they can get well manag"d. If we fairly weigh Things, we will find our Countrymen faulty in many Regards; and indeed I have such a Bead-roll of Accusations against them, that I know not where I had best begin the Attack.

SWIFT. Hold! _Tom_, hold! Dead or Living, I wou"d never allow any Man to attack _Ireland_, but myself; however when I am out of Breath, you shall be permitted to a.s.sist me now, and then. I must ingeniously own, I see so many Mistakes in their ways of Thinking and Acting, that the more I consider them, the more I look on _Ireland_, as in a dangerous Condition. The first Thing I shall touch at, is that terrible want of publick Spirit, which we are notoriously defective in; tho" like the Pulse in the human Body, where it is wanting, Death is nigh! all Countries are greatly help"d by this n.o.blest Pa.s.sion of the human Mind: But this Island must be absolutely lost, without its a.s.sistance. We are so Circ.u.mstanced in several Views, that nothing can keep us above Water, and much less make us flourish, but the whole of our Gentry, joining one and all, to rouse themselves and the Nation, by encouraging every Art, every additional Method of employing us, that they can settle here. And yet how few have I known, who exerted themselves this way, or seem"d to know it was their Interest, or to think it their Duty. I remember in some Accounts of _Portugal_, I have met a Relation of the vast Good that is done there, by the famous merciful Society, as they call it very deservedly. It is composed of the most distinguish"d Persons in the Kingdom, who all contribute their Quota"s to the relieving in a private Manner, all deserving People, (and Tradesmen especially) who are in want. The Steward who is annually Chosen, is always one of the most Ill.u.s.trious of the n.o.bility; and cannot avoid spending 5000 _l._ in these Charities, to come off with Honour, and keep up the Glory of his Trust. Now I will venture to affirm, tho" we have vastly the Superiority over _Portugal_, as to the Numbers of n.o.blemen and Gentlemen of great Fortunes in _Ireland_; yet it wou"d be a vain Attempt to endeavour to establish such a generous Society here.

This makes me Tremble for a People so deserted and neglected as ours; for unless the Rich, and the Great, and the Powerful, give largely to the Encouragement of Arts and Industry, and set Examples of Virtue and Goodness, and a Love of their Country before us, there can be little hopes of this or any other Nation, being made completely easy or happy.

Men of larger Fortunes, shou"d shew they have larger Hearts than others, or they ought

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