--"Please be serious."
--"I don"t think private detectives were employed, as in the Slater case."
--"No joking, please."
--"But nearly similar things used to be done. Friends and schoolmates, servants, ex-servants, teachers of music, jewellers, fishmongers, grocers, tailors, dress-makers, or anybody who had any connection with the family whatever, were one and all an object from whom as much information as possible was extracted directly or indirectly; above all, Mrs. Hairdresser, who knows such matters best. You know, our ladies arrange their hair in all sorts of very complicated forms, and hairdressers make it a regular profession, paying professional visits constantly to ladies" homes, and our ladies do not mind wasting time in such matters any more than their sisters of other countries."
--"Please to the point."
--"I am to the point. It was only after these inquiries that, to use a diplomatic phrase, _pourparler_ for negotiations began. Of course all the inquiries were done by some one else on behalf of the would-be bride or bridegroom. They would certainly be too delicate for a girl of, say, "sweet seventeen," to carry them out for herself. Don"t you agree with me on that point?"
--"Life is short. Please don"t spin out webs too long. But how do matters stand nowadays?"
--"Much the same," I replied. "But in our own days society gives much more facility for young people to see and know each other. And I may add that nowadays photos play a great part in the first stage of the inquiries. They say photos are for studying physiognomy in order to discern the character and intellectual capabilities, but I am afraid it is also to study the looks as well, or rather chiefly. Human nature is weak after all."
--"Still spinning out."
--"Oh no! I am only giving out the essence."
--"Let us then proceed with the ceremony."
--"Very well, the essential part of the ceremony consists in the bride and bridegroom partaking sake cups, as you know, but perhaps not exactly as your acquaintance did," said I teasingly. "The room wherein that part of the ceremony is performed is kept sacred for the occasion. The bridegroom is led to that room by the officiating person, and the bride by his wife. In our rooms there is a small part, a little elevated, called Toko-no-ma (alcove): it is the place of honour in the room, and it is there that the Kakemono (hanging picture or writing) is hung--sometimes a single one, sometimes a pair, or a series of three. We do not hang up pictures all over the walls like a picture exhibition; and it is also there that we arrange flowers and plants in vases. The Kakemono would be the chosen ones having some signification of felicity.
There are many subjects for such purposes, for instance, the landscape of the mythological island of Mount Horai, where immortals are said to reside, or cranes and long hair-tailed mythical tortoises, or the three twin plants of pine, plum, and bamboo. All of these objects are popularly viewed as emblems of longevity. The flowers or plants arranged in the vase for the occasion would also be of the same nature."
--"And you have a special art in the arrangement of flowers, I understand, not as we do in the West by simply putting bunches into the vase without any discrimination."
--"Just so!" I answered, "and there would be a Shimadai on Toko-no-ma."
--"What"s that?"
--"Shimadai is a representation of the Mount Horai which I have just mentioned. In later days Jo-tom-ba, more correctly Jo-to-uba, that is, the old couple of Takasago, came to be usually to be represented with it as well Jo-tom-ba were mythical man and wife who lived very long and happy lives. They are supposed to have dwelt in the beautiful pine forests on the lovely seash.o.r.e of Takasago, where they spent their days in gathering pine needles. Small artificial mounts and pine forests and figures of the aged couple are tastefully arranged on a clean tray of white wood, the edges of the tray being indented in order to represent an idea of the sea-coast, with some cranes on the branches of the pine, generally with a nest and young ones, as well as the hair-tailed tortoise on the seash.o.r.e. Cranes and tortoises play their part in our ceremonies so often, you see. I will here tell you the gist of a common song. Once a crane married a tortoise. Now, cranes are supposed to live one thousand years and tortoises ten thousand years. In the course of a duet pouring forth their touching sentiments, the wife gives vent to her thought to this effect: she feels sad at the idea that after a happy life of nigh a thousand years she would have to lead a young widow"s life for nine thousand years."
--"For us mankind a thousand years is long enough. But please proceed with the main story."
--"Very well," said I: "the bridegroom and bride are seated _vis-a-vis_ before the Toko-no-ma at a distance, with the officiating person next the bridegroom, and his wife next the bride, each giving a.s.sistance to the bridegroom and bride respectively. The me-cho (she-b.u.t.terfly) and o-cho (he-b.u.t.terfly) enter."
--"What"s that?"
--"Well, you see, b.u.t.terflies are very beautiful, and when in couples are very amiable to each other. If you see them flying about in the fields, now touching the flowers, now playing with each other, you can well imagine what happy lives they lead. At the wedding two virgins are chosen to represent a male and a female b.u.t.terfly. They each hold a "choshi," a vessel with a long handle for holding sake. To one of the vessels a male b.u.t.terfly made of paper is fastened, and to the other a female. They both, simultaneously, pour out a few drops for the bride and bridegroom successively, the idea being that two b.u.t.terflies help the rites."
--"Your idea of b.u.t.terflies seems to be different from ours."
--"Well, we do not attach to them the sense of frivolity. At all events, in case of wedding the point taken into consideration is different. They are also pictured as a symbol of Dream based upon a discourse of an ancient Chinese philosopher, who said that when he became a b.u.t.terfly in a dream he had no other notion than being a real b.u.t.terfly, and therefore he could not vouchsafe that his present _ego_ was not similarly a phenomenon of a greater Dream."
--"But you haven"t yet explained where and how the cups are brought in."
--"The cups generally consist of a set of three, usually of plain, clean earthenware. They are put on a tray of pure white wood with legs called Sambo--a dumb waiter, if you like. They are generally placed together with the sake vase at the Toko-no-ma before the ceremony begins, and are taken out at the bidding of the officiating person by the b.u.t.terflies. The exchanging of cups between the bride and bridegroom is rather complicated. Each time the bride or bridegroom holds up the cup, three drops of sake are poured into it by each b.u.t.terfly, and this is repeated three times, and therefore this part is called San-san-kudo, that is, three threes making nine, and that phrase is commonly used to signify a marriage ceremony. This part of the ceremony requires much formality. People concerned have to take some lessons beforehand. But remember people generally do not indulge on such occasions in swallowing too great a quant.i.ty, whatever their capacities may be."
--"No joking, please."
--"Very well. When this part of the ceremony is over, the officiating person, or a special person who is called into the next room for the purpose, sings a short song called Takasago (one of the cla.s.sical j.a.panese songs called "utai"). The song is founded upon the story of the aged couple of whom I spoke, and is regarded as a contribution of good presage. But remember, officiating persons are often indifferent singers, consequently they often merely utter in tone a few words of the song. I remember a very amusing incident. It was told me by the Marchioness Ito. At the wedding of Isaburo Yamagata, son of Marquis Yamagata, Marquis Ito was the officiating person. He was unable to sing, so he said when the moment for singing came, "Isa, let us suppose I have sung. If father asks you what I have done, tell him I have sung all right." The marchioness restrained herself with great difficulty from bursting into laughter. That kind of incident sometimes occurs in reality."
--"No wonder: people are not always singers. But pray proceed."
--"The banquet now begins: bride and bridegroom now appear as a married couple, ceremonial cups are exchanged as a token of the cementing of the new relationship of those present, and after a good deal of merriment the couple retire and the guests disperse. On that day the bride and bridegroom wear ceremonial dress as a matter of course. It being a grand day for a woman, it is natural enough that the bride should get herself up as well as she can. I dare say the Western bride does the same, is it not so, madam?"
--"I hear, but please proceed," said the marchioness.
--"The bride generally wears a dress with bright designs and very long sleeves. But it would be somewhat different if the bride were an old maid or an aged widow, don"t you think so?"
--"Please really no more joking. What elderly widow could dress like a young bride?"
--"Very well. The bride often keeps on her head a white headgear called "boshi" until the end of the first part of the ceremony. It answers the purpose of your veil. I think it is used for hiding the blushes. Is it also so here in the West?"
--"I don"t remember."
--"Then also the bride changes her dress several times, twice, thrice, or even four times in the course of the evening, which is quietly made an opportunity for displaying female vanity. Oh, I beg your pardon."
--"Never mind, but continue."
--"Very well. After a few days the newly married couple, together with the near relations of the husband, go to the bride"s former home and are there entertained at a banquet. It is called a "Satobiraki." At the wedding some suitable presents to each member of the husband"s family are made by the bride as a token of the new affection arising between them, so also does the husband on the day of Satobiraki. After a suitable lapse of time all the relatives and friends are invited to a banquet, or some sort of entertainment, at a convenient place, at which the formal announcement of the marriage is personally given to the guests. The invitations are generally issued in common by the fathers of the bride and bridegroom, and thus is concluded the whole wedding ceremony."
--"And the wedding presents?"
--"Yes, we also make wedding presents, but perhaps there is a slight difference. In the West the presents are on account of individual friendship, but in j.a.pan more on account of family intercourse, that is to say, in j.a.pan such presents would be made by a family if the family of the bride or bridegroom, as the case may be, were in intimate intercourse, even though no particular friendship exists between any particular member of that family and the bride or bridegroom."
--"I see the ceremony is really very elaborate, but when does the legality of marriage begin?"
--"The ceremony is elaborate, as you see, but it counts for nothing in the eyes of the law: the heart of the law is cold in every country. The legality of a marriage begins in the eyes of the law only when a proper form of it is filled at the office of the registry of "l"etat civil." It is desirable that a marriage should be reported in the form thus filed and duly registered as soon as possible after the ceremony. Otherwise, whatever ceremony you may have undergone, the marriage is not recognised in the eyes of the law. But mind! if you ask me what a marriage is, I don"t think I can explain it to you. From the Athenian republic down to the twentieth century all philosophers and jurists have been trying to define the exact signification of that word marriage; none of them have ever succeeded. On hearing that fact a peasant exclaimed: "What fools are these mountain-dwellers; every one on earth knows what a marriage is!""
--"No joking, please," said the marchioness.
--"But it is a tale I was taught by my teacher when I was studying the law at Cambridge," said I.
--"Anyhow, I now see very well that all that I was told about the two months" marriage must have been a joke," said the marchioness. "There are some more points I should like to ask you, but I will let them stand over until some future occasion."
The marchioness was originally born of a very high n.o.ble family of a neighbouring country, and France is her adopted home by marriage. Her sister, Countess de Daisyland, who had been staying at her sister"s, as is her custom from time to time, was also present. I noticed some difference of character between them. While I was speaking with the marchioness, the countess was chiefly talking with Madame Matoni, wife of my friend, though she turned to us occasionally and interposed some laconic remarks. Monsieur Matoni was then engaged in a conversation with the d.u.c.h.ess. By shifting seats, so to say, almost unconsciously to one another, the d.u.c.h.ess and Madame Matoni now began to converse, and Monsieur Matoni and the marchioness, who turned towards him without moving, did the same. The countess, who spoke less than her sister, and whose eloquence was of a totally different style, now began to put several questions to me.
--"There is one thing," said she, "which has been puzzling me very much of late, and that is, some people speak of the Spartan character of the j.a.panese women in general, basing their observations upon deeds displayed during the present war. But on the other hand there are many writers who tell us that j.a.panese women are mere domestic servants. Of course I do not believe that, but there seems too much margin between these observations. If I am not too curious, will you give me your opinion."
--"With pleasure, countess," said I. "Without giving excessive credit to our women, which I do not dare, I can a.s.sure you that the Western estimation of our women is generally incorrect. It is perhaps beyond your conception how great an influence a j.a.panese mother or wife has over her family. I will give you an instance of a mother ill.u.s.trated in a well-known drama. The scene is a summer evening. The aged mother of Miura Yoshimura (a hero having a real existence in history) lay on her deathbed within a mosquito netting, depending from the four corners of the room. Our mosquito nettings are very large and s.p.a.cious. A young lady, the hero"s fiancee, is waiting upon her as nurse. Here the hero suddenly returns home from the battlefield clad in full armour. He makes inquiry of the young lady about his mother"s condition. She tells him that the aged lady"s condition has not presented any marked difference, that she often falls into a drowsy state, and is calmly sleeping at that moment. A cough is heard from the room which is separated by paper screens and where the aged mother lay; in fact she had just awoke. She perceives the hero has returned, and with a few terse and killing sentences she admonishes him from where she lay for his conduct. To her it was cowardly to leave the battlefield at that juncture. It was contrary to a warrior"s honour and an infringement of loyalty. She will not see him face to face. Her last words are, "If thou darest to approach me, dare to break this net. It is an iron castle of mine."
Having thus denounced her beloved son, she falls into a calm slumber again. As a matter of fact, the hero"s mind is already made up to sacrifice his life in battle to the cause he was supporting. He merely returned home to bid his last farewell to his dying mother, and to intrust her to the care of his fiancee. His helmet is perfumed with the best kind of incense--an act common to a warrior of distinguished position--the idea being that a hero"s head should not be exposed to odious odour after death. The young lady discovers it, and, as is natural in a drama, a bit of love-scene follows. She would not stop him, but at least he might wait until his aged mother awakes again and spend a single night by her bedside. The stay of a single eve, she says, would make no material difference to chivalry and loyalty. He does not listen to her, and shaking her off dashes back to the field, where he meets with an honourable death. The point I wish to lay stress upon is not the last part, but the part where the aged mother speaks of the "iron castle." Does that not show you the kind of authority a j.a.panese mother wields over her children? Is it any way inferior to that of Coriola.n.u.s"s mother, before whom that brave Roman warrior had to cry out, "O mother!
you have prevailed." It is, of course, a scene in fiction, but with us it is an incident quite imaginable in real life. Indeed, there are several instances of similar nature recorded in history. A j.a.panese wife has an influence far greater than any outsider can imagine. I can only say, so far as domestic affairs are concerned, she is far more a master of the house than her husband. Think for a moment! If the wife were a mere servant of the house, as is represented by many Western writers, how could it possibly happen that, as a mother, she exercises such austere authority, as the mother of the hero just mentioned did, over her son after her husband"s death?"
The countess listened to me very attentively; my long explanation did not appear to weary her. When I had finished it she smiled and said:
--"Then in your country also mothers play a great role in the family.
Would you also say like Napoleon, "Women are the mothers of the nation"?