"You fellows are pretty well fixed here," he went on, undismayed, gazing about a room which had seemed to us the abomination of desolation. "Your folks must be rich. I"m up under the skylight."
Even this failed to touch us. His father--he told us with undiminished candour--had been a German emigrant who had come over in "49, after the cause of liberty had been lost in the old country, and made eye-gla.s.ses and opera gla.s.ses. There hadn"t been a fortune in it. He, Hermann, had worked at various occupations in the summer time, from peddling to farming, until he had saved enough to start him at Harvard. Tom, who had been bending over his bureau drawer, straightened up.
"What did you want to come here for?" he demanded.
"Say, what did you?" Mr. Krebs retorted genially. "To get an education, of course."
"An education!" echoed Tom.
"Isn"t Harvard the oldest and best seat of learning in America?" There was an exaltation in Krebs"s voice that arrested my attention, and made me look at him again. A troubled chord had been struck within me.
"Sure," said Tom.
"What did you come for?" Mr. Krebs persisted.
"To sow my wild oats," said Tom. "I expect to have something of a crop, too."
For some reason I could not fathom, it suddenly seemed to dawn on Mr.
Krebs, as a result of this statement, that he wasn"t wanted.
"Well, so long," he said, with a new dignity that curiously belied the informality of his farewell.
An interval of silence followed his departure.
"Well, he"s got a crust!" said Tom, at last.
My own feeling about Mr. Krebs had become more complicated; but I took my cue from Tom, who dealt with situations simply.
"He"ll come in for a few knockouts," he declared. "Here"s to old Harvard, the greatest inst.i.tution of learning in America! Oh, gee!"
Our visitor, at least, made us temporarily forget our homesickness, but it returned with redoubled intensity when we had put out the lights and gone to bed.
Before we had left home it had been mildly hinted to us by Ralph and Perry Blackwood that scholarly eminence was not absolutely necessary to one"s welfare and happiness at Cambridge. The hint had been somewhat superfluous; but the question remained, what was necessary? With a view of getting some light on this delicate subject we paid a visit the next evening to our former friends and schoolmates, whose advice was conveyed with a masterly circ.u.mlocution that impressed us both. There are some things that may not be discussed directly, and the conduct of life at a modern university--which is a reflection of life in the greater world--is one of these. Perry Blackwood and Ham did most of the talking, while Ralph, characteristically, lay at full length on the window-seat, interrupting with an occasional terse and cynical remark very much to the point. As a soph.o.m.ore, he in particular seemed lifted immeasurably above us, for he was--as might have been expected already a marked man in his cla.s.s. The rooms which he shared with his cousin made a tremendous impression on Tom and me, and seemed palatial in comparison to our quarters at Mrs. Bolton"s, eloquent of the freedom and luxury of undergraduate existence; their note, perhaps, was struck by the profusion of gay sofa pillows, then something of an innovation. The heavy, expensive furniture was of a pattern new to me; and on the mantel were three or four photographs of ladies in the alluring costume of the musical stage, in which Tom evinced a particular interest.
"Did grandfather send "em?" he inquired.
"They"re Ham"s," said Ralph, and he contrived somehow to get into those two words an epitome of his cousin"s character. Ham was stouter, and his clothes were more striking, more obviously expensive than ever.... On our way homeward, after we had walked a block or two in silence, Tom exclaimed:--"Don"t make friends with the friendless!--eh, Hughie? We knew enough to begin all right, didn"t we?"...
Have I made us out a pair of deliberate, calculating sn.o.bs? Well, after all it must be remembered that our bringing up had not been of sufficient liberality to include the Krebses of this world. We did not, indeed, spend much time in choosing and weighing those whom we should know and those whom we should avoid; and before the first term of that Freshman year was over Tom had become a favourite. He had the gift of making men feel that he delighted in their society, that he wished for nothing better than to sit for hours in their company, content to listen to the arguments that raged about him. Once in a while he would make a droll observation that was greeted with fits of laughter. He was always referred to as "old Tom," or "good old Tom"; presently, when he began to pick out chords on the banjo, it was discovered that he had a good tenor voice, though he could not always be induced to sing.... Somewhat to the jeopardy of the academic standard that my father expected me to sustain, our rooms became a rendezvous for many clubable souls whose maudlin, midnight attempts at harmony often set the c.o.c.ks crowing.
"Free from care and despair, What care we?
"Tis wine, "tis wine That makes the jollity."
As a matter of truth, on these occasions it was more often beer; beer transported thither in Tom"s new valise,--given him by his mother,--and stuffed with snow to keep the bottles cold. Sometimes Granite Face, adorned in a sky-blue wrapper, would suddenly appear in the doorway to declare that we were a disgrace to her respectable house: the university authorities should be informed, etc., etc. Poor woman, we were outrageously inconsiderate of her.... One evening as we came through the hall we caught a glimpse in the dimly lighted parlour of a young man holding a shy and pale little girl on his lap, Annie, Mrs. Bolton"s daughter: on the face of our landlady was an expression I had never seen there, like a light. I should scarcely have known her. Tom and I paused at the foot of the stairs. He clutched my arm.
"Darned if it wasn"t our friend Krebs!" he whispered.
While I was by no means so popular as Tom, I got along fairly well.
I had escaped from provincialism, from the obscure purgatory of the wholesale grocery business; new vistas, exciting and stimulating, had been opened up; nor did I offend the sensibilities and prejudices of the new friends I made, but gave a hearty consent to a code I found congenial. I recognized in the social system of undergraduate life at Harvard a reflection of that of a greater world where I hoped some day to shine; yet my ambition did not prey upon me. Mere conformity, however, would not have taken me very far in a sphere from which I, in common with many others, desired not to be excluded.... One day, in an idle but inspired moment, I paraphrased a song from "Pinafore," applying it to a college embroglio, and the brief and lively vogue it enjoyed was sufficient to indicate a future usefulness. I had "found myself." This was in the last part of the freshman year, and later on I became a sort of amateur, cla.s.s poet-laureate. Many were the skits I composed, and Tom sang them....
During that freshman year we often encountered Hermann Krebs, whistling merrily, on the stairs.
"Got your themes done?" he would inquire cheerfully.
And Tom would always mutter, when he was out of earshot: "He has got a crust!"
When I thought about Krebs at all,--and this was seldom indeed,--his manifest happiness puzzled me. Our cool politeness did not seem to bother him in the least; on the contrary, I got the impression that it amused him. He seemed to have made no friends. And after that first evening, memorable for its homesickness, he never ventured to repeat his visit to us.
One windy November day I spied his somewhat ludicrous figure striding ahead of me, his trousers above his ankles. I was bundled up in a new ulster,--of which I was secretly quite proud,--but he wore no overcoat at all.
"Well, how are you getting along?" I asked, as I overtook him.
He made clear, as he turned, his surprise that I should have addressed him at all, but immediately recovered himself.
"Oh, fine," he responded. "I"ve had better luck than I expected. I"m correspondent for two or three newspapers. I began by washing windows, and doing odd jobs for the professors" wives." He laughed. "I guess that doesn"t strike you as good luck."
He showed no resentment at my patronage, but a self-sufficiency that made my sympathy seem superfluous, giving the impression of an inner harmony and content that surprised me.
"I needn"t ask how you"re getting along," he said....
At the end of the freshman year we abandoned Mrs. Bolton"s for more desirable quarters.
I shall not go deeply into my college career, recalling only such incidents as, seen in the retrospect, appear to have had significance. I have mentioned my knack for song-writing; but it was not, I think, until my junior year there was startlingly renewed in me my youthful desire to write, to create something worth while, that had so long been dormant.
The inspiration came from Alonzo Cheyne, instructor in English; a remarkable teacher, in spite of the finicky mannerisms which Tom imitated. And when, in reading aloud certain magnificent pa.s.sages, he forgot his affectations, he managed to arouse cravings I thought to have deserted me forever. Was it possible, after all, that I had been right and my father wrong? that I might yet be great in literature?
A mere hint from Alonzo Cheyne was more highly prized by the grinds than fulsome praise from another teacher. And to his credit it should be recorded that the grinds were the only ones he treated with any seriousness; he took pains to answer their questions; but towards the rest of us, the Chosen, he showed a thinly veiled contempt. None so quick as he to detect a simulated interest, or a wily effort to make him ridiculous; and few tried this a second time, for he had a rapier-like gift of repartee that transfixed the offender like a moth on a pin. He had a way of eyeing me at times, his gla.s.ses in his hand, a queer smile on his lips, as much as to imply that there was one at least among the lost who was made for better things. Not that my work was poor, but I knew that it might have been better. Out of his cla.s.ses, however, beyond the immediate, disturbing influence of his personality I would relapse into indifference....
Returning one evening to our quarters, which were now in the "Yard,"
I found Tom seated with a blank sheet before him, thrusting his hand through his hair and biting the end of his penholder to a pulp. In his muttering, which was mixed with the curious, stingless profanity of which he was master, I caught the name of Cheyne, and I knew that he was facing the crisis of a fortnightly theme. The subject a.s.signed was a narrative of some personal experience, and it was to be handed in on the morrow. My own theme was already, written.
"I"ve been holding down this chair for an hour, and I can"t seem to think of a thing." He rose to fling himself down on the lounge. "I wish I was in Canada."
"Why Canada?"
"Trout fishing with Uncle Jake at that club of his where he took me last summer." Tom gazed dreamily at the ceiling. "Whenever I have some darned foolish theme like this to write I want to go fishing, and I want to go like the devil. I"ll get Uncle Jake to take you, too, next summer."
"I wish you would."
"Say, that"s living all right, Hughie, up there among the tamaracks and balsams!" And he began, for something like the thirtieth time, to relate the adventures of the trip.
As he talked, the idea presented itself to me with sudden fascination to use this incident as the subject of Tom"s theme; to write it for him, from his point of view, imitating the droll style he would have had if he had been able to write; for, when he was interested in any matter, his oral narrative did not lack vividness. I began to ask him questions: what were the trees like, for instance? How did the French-Canadian guides talk? He had the gift of mimicry: aided by a partial knowledge of French I wrote down a few sentences as they sounded. The canoe had upset and he had come near drowning. I made him describe his sensations.
"I"ll write your theme for you," I exclaimed, when he had finished.
"Gee, not about that!"
"Why not? It"s a personal experience."