"You don"t?"
"No."
"I a.s.sume you have staff that do?"
"Of course. And you know Selena is really into horses."
"I remember. She must be ... not a teenager anymore." She remembered Eduardo"s younger sister, all long skinny limbs, round eyes and glossy hair. She"d been fifteen when Hannah had seen her last, but she would be twenty now. A woman, not a girl.
"No, she"s not."
"Strange because it doesn"t feel like it"s been that long since ... Well, in some ways. There are times when it feels like this was part of another lifetime. And like I"m in an alternate dimension now."
"It"s very possible, I suppose. Maybe I"m in one, too, and I"ll wake up with a throbbing headache and my memory fully restored."
"Click your heels together and say "there"s no place like home.""
"Que?"
"Dorothy. The Wizard of Oz. You don"t know that movie? Everyone knows that movie."
He shook his head. "I"ve seen it. I ... didn"t remember the reference."
An uneasy silence fell between them, her stomach tightening as the meaning of his statement settled in. "If I clicked my heels together," she said, "and said that, I wonder where I would end up? Maybe in the middle of nowhere."
"You don"t have a home?"
"Right now I have an apartment in San Francisco. But is it home? I don"t know about that." She looked down at her hands. "Sometimes I think it would be a blessing to have a little memory loss."
"Was it that bad?"
Unbidden, she thought about what it had felt like to have her baby move inside of her. Of the moment he"d been delivered. Of having to turn away as the nurse carried him from the room so that she wouldn"t have time to memorize his tiny, perfect face.
She had it memorized anyway. One moment was enough. And not enough.
She tried to breathe past the tightness in her chest. "Some things really are that bad."
"I"ve forgotten a great many things that didn"t matter. But I don"t know they don"t matter. And that"s the worst part. You"re not sure if you"ve forgotten something trivial, or vital. A lot of the time I"m unsure if I"ve forgotten anything at all. I could neglect an important doc.u.ment and never once have that nagging feeling you count on having to keep you on track."
She redirected her thoughts, pulling the door closed on her memories, on her emotions, locking it tight. "Have you set up alerts?"
"What kind?"
"You could have them on your phone, your computer. We could sync them up so you could be reminded at different times of the day that certain things need doing."
"I don"t forget everything," he said, his tone rough.
"I know that. But you don"t always know what will slip your mind, do you? So you have to be willing to put down your pride for a little bit and cover your bases. This isn"t about hanging on to your manly image."
"The h.e.l.l it"s not," he grumbled.
"Eduardo." She sighed. "Get over yourself."
"Why would I want to do that? I am so wonderful." He tossed her a smile and for a moment, the heaviness in her lightened. For the rest of the trip, they kept the topics neutral, choosing to avoid anything real or personal.
When they pulled off the main road and onto a winding, single-lane paved road that wound up the mountain, Hannah tried not to show any nerves.
"You"re bothered by heights?" he asked.
"Oh, only a little," she said. She hated to show fear, of any kind. Especially a silly fear of heights. "I mean, if another car came around the corner our only options are the side of the mountain and plummeting to our doom."
"I promise to keep the plummeting to a minimum."
"Appreciated," she said tightly.
She breathed a sigh of relief when the road curved in, away from the drop and through a thick grove of trees. It was cool, green and lush, shaded from the heat of the day.
The trees thinned and faded until they were surrounded by green fields, stretching to the mountains on one side, and to the edge of a cliff on the other, overlooking the brilliant, jewel-bright sea.
Large iron gates secluded the property from the rest of the world. Eduardo used an application on his phone to enter in the code and the gates swung open.
"I use letters in my security code," he said as they drove on. "They"re easier for me to remember. I"m not sure why."
"I"m not, either. I would have to do some reading on the subject."
The house was set back into the property, nearer to the sea, bold floor-to-ceiling windows reflecting the sun. It was an angular, modern house with traditional white stucco and a red ceramic tile roof. A mix of the old and new, very like its owner.
"This is beautiful," she said. "Quiet, too."
"Away from the noise," he said. "For a while I badly needed that. Things are better now than they were."
"I"m glad to hear that."
"I still prefer to be here. Alone."
"That"s very unlike you. You used to drag me to parties all the time. Parties with music so loud we rarely had to talk to anyone. And if I didn"t go, you went by yourself."
"I used to like that sort of thing. I don"t now." He pressed another b.u.t.ton on his phone and a door to the large garage opened, and he pulled the car inside.
"Very techie," she said.
"It makes my life easier."
"And I"m sure we can come up with even more ways to make it easier on you. Why haven"t you seen anyone about this before?"
His body tensed. "I saw doctors."
"I know, but have you ever gone to programmers or anything with a list of your specific issues? I"m almost certain there are some simple ..."
"No. I"m not spreading this around for the world to see. I"ll not be made to look like a fool. Or stupid," he said, his dark gaze pointed on hers. He looked down at his hands. "Tell me something, Hannah."
"What?"
"Why did I like going to all those parties?"
"What?" she asked.
"Why did I like them? The idea of going to parties ... now it seems like it would be loud and ... confusing. I can"t imagine what it was that made me like them before and sometimes I think if I could just remember ... then I could make myself feel it again."
Hannah"s stomach tightened. "Eduardo ... I ..." She took a breath. "You liked to be around people. To have them see you. You always commanded the room and you ... thrived on that."
He rested his head on the back of the seat. "I still can"t ..." He let out a long breath. "I can"t feel it now."
He killed the engine and slammed the driver"s-side door shut, skipping the chivalry and walking straight into the house alone. She unbuckled and followed him out of the Jeep and into the house.
Yet again, the luxury available to the Vega family floored her. She was no slouch, and she made a darn decent income, but this was beyond the everyday version of luxury.
Sweeping vistas of the sea, intensely green fields and mountains, marble floors and a grand, curving staircase. Light poured in, light everywhere, making it feel like she was still outdoors, bringing the natural beauty into the man-made extravagance.
She pulled her lips tight, doing her very best not to look impressed. "Eduardo ... I"m going to get lost in this palace without a guide." She was determined to change the subject. Determined to ignore the pain in her chest. His pain.
He came into the entryway, his expression neutral. So she wasn"t the only one trying to play a game, trying to hide her feelings. "I will happily give you the tour." There was a glimmer in his eyes, one she didn"t like at all. She had a feeling he was about to do something to make her angry, since that seemed to be the only thing that made him laugh these days.
"What?" she asked, following him up the curving staircase. "And shouldn"t I go get my bags?"
"I don"t know what you mean, and one of my staff will have your bags delivered to the room later."
"You know what I mean. You look amused, and that never bodes well for me. And the room?"
"Yes. The room. Our room."
So that was the cause of the glitter. "Our room? I do hope you"re having a malfunction with your English, darling."
"No malfunction, I speak English as well as you do. But we"re selling a reconciliation here, and we can hardly sleep across the hall from each other."
She sputtered. "You ... you ..."
"Relax, querida, I"m giving us rooms that connect to each other. I"m not so base as to try and force you to share a bed with me. Still, we will have to be careful that it"s not suspected you aren"t sleeping with me."
She made a face at him. "You did that just to make me mad."
"I have to confess, it is one of my few joys in life. To watch the color rise in your cheeks." He paused at the top of the stairs and turned to face her, his eyes dark, a.s.sessing. Far too a.s.sessing. "I love to watch you lose control."
"I did not lose control. You couldn"t make me lose control," she said, realizing she sounded childish and very much on the edge of control. Unable to stop it.
He chuckled and turned away from her. "If you say so."
"I do," she muttered, crossing her arms beneath her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and trailing behind him, down the expansive half floor, open to the living area below. There were two dark double doors at the end of the hall, and he opened them to an impressive luxury suite.
"I trust you will find this suitable. This is, of course, my room. And that is the door to yours." He indicated a door on the far end of the room. She pa.s.sed him, her eyes resting longingly on the ma.s.sive king-size bed piled high with silk pillows, and went to the other door.
She turned the k.n.o.b and opened it, revealing a smaller, but no less impressive suite.
The bed wasn"t as grand, the linen white with pink ribbon edging the bottom of the bedspread, and tied around the throw pillows, making them look like little gifts.
The walls were white, the floors a pale marble, decorated with fuzzy-looking pink carpets.
"It"s so pink," she breathed, hating in some ways how perfect it was.
"It"s not quite as edgy as you are, I confess."
She turned and saw Eduardo leaning in the door. A giggle bubbled in her throat when she realized that he"d probably imagined she would hate it. But he hadn"t seen her very, very pink wedding cake, or the pink bows she"d selected to go on all of the chairs. He"d never seen her pink dishes in her kitchen, or the pink bed set in her room.
"I happen to love pink," she said, smiling sweetly. "My room when I was a teenager was very ..." Dirty. Dark. Depressing. "It wasn"t to my taste and I used to dream of decorating my own place as feminine and frilly and bright as I liked. So as soon as I could, I did. It"s something I"ve never grown out of, alas."
One dark brow shot up. "I never would have guessed that about you."
"No, I doubt anyone would. But my life is not an open book."
"I have noticed that."
"Now you know my deep, dark secret. Beneath my a.s.s-kicking facade, I have a thing for ruffles." She liked that she"d caught him off guard. It was a small thing, but she took more than a little pleasure in it.
He shook his head. "Now that is interesting."
"I live to interest."
"I seriously doubt that."
"You"re right. I don"t care enough about what people think." That wasn"t true, either. She wished it was. "What"s the thread count on the sheets?"
"I can"t remember The Wizard of Oz. You think I"ll remember that?"
The corner of her mouth tugged up in a reluctant half smile. "Fine, I"ll read the tags when you leave."
"I think my mother and Selena will be here soon. If you"d like to dress for dinner."
"Is there something wrong with the way I"m dressed?"
"Do you own anything that"s not designed to fit into a boardroom environment?"
"Pink pajamas."
"And now that no longer surprises me, but you can"t wear that for dinner, either."
"Yes, I have some other clothes."
"Good. Then I"ll have your things sent up." He turned away, then stopped. "Hannah, try to relax. You can think of this as a vacation."