Then came her dinner. Such a nice dinner it was; and served with a delicacy and order which charmed Rotha. She eat it alone, but missing nothing; having a sense of shelter and hiding from all roughnesses of people and things, that was infinitely soothing. She eat her dinner, and hoped for Mrs. Mowbray"s return. Waiting however in vain. Mrs. Mowbray came not. The room was bright; the fire burned; the cheerful shine was upon everything; Rotha was full of comfort in things external; if she only could settle and quiet this question in her heart. Yes, this question was everything. Were she but a child of G.o.d, secure and established,--yes, not that only, but pure and good,--like Mr. Digby; then, all would be right. Then she would be happy. With that question unsettled, Rotha did not feel that even Mrs. Mowbray could make her so.
Late in the evening Mrs. Mowbray came. Her arms were full of packages.
"I could not get free before," she said, as she shut the door behind her.
"I had an errand--and then company kept me. Well, my dear! have you had a pleasant evening, all alone?"
"I like to be alone sometimes," Rotha replied a little evasively.
"Do you! Now I like company; unless I have something to do. Perhaps that was your case, eh?"
"Yes, ma"am, it was."
"And did you accomplish it?--what you had to do."
"No, ma"am."
"You must take me into your counsels. See here--how do you like that?"
She had drawn up a chair to the side of Rotha"s couch, and opening one of the packages on her lap, transferred it to Rotha"s. It was the fashion then for young people to wear woollen stuffs of bright plaid patterns; and this was a piece of chocolate and black with a thread of gold colour; soft and beautiful and rich tinted. "How do you like that?" Mrs. Mowbray repeated; and Rotha answered that she thought it very beautiful.
"Don"t you think that would make you a nice school dress? and here--how would this do for company days?"
As she spoke, she laid upon the chocolate plaid another package, containing a dark brown poplin, heavy and l.u.s.trous. Poor Rotha looked up bewildered to the lady"s face, which was beaming and triumphant.
"Like it?" she said gleefully. "I couldn"t tell your taste, you know. I had to go by my own Don"t you think that would become you?"
"_Me?_" said Rotha.
"Yes. You see, we cannot wait for your aunt"s slow motions, and you must be clothed. Do you like it, my dear?"
"I like it _very_ much--of course--they are most beautiful; but--will aunt Serena give you the money, Mrs. Mowbray?"
"I shall not ask her," said Mrs. Mowbray laughing. "You need not say anything about it, to her or anybody else. It is our affair. Now here is a warm skirt, my dear; I want to keep you warm while you are in my house, and you are not sufficiently armed against the cold weather. I don"t want to have you catching any more colds. You see, this is for my interest.
Now with that you will be as warm as a toast."
It was a beautiful petticoat of scarlet cloth; soft and thick. Rotha looked at the pile of things lying on her lap, and was absolutely dumb.
Mrs. Mowbray bent forward and kissed her cheek.
"I think you will be well enough to go out by Sat.u.r.day--and I will let Miss Jewett go with you to a dress-maker and have these things made up at once. Is there any particular dress-maker who is accustomed to work for you?"
"No," Rotha said first, and then immediately added--"Yes! I forgot; the one who made my summer dresses, that I had in the summer." _That Mr.
Southwode got for me_, she had been about to say; but she checked herself.
Some fine instinct made her perceive that the mention of that gentleman"s name was not received with absolute favour. She thought Mrs. Mowbray did not approve of Mr. Southwode.
"And now, my dear," said that lady, as she swept away the packages of goods from Rotha"s lap, "what about your question of conscience?"
"It remains a question, ma"am."
"Not settled yet? What makes the difficulty?"
"I told you, ma"am. I did not speak quite as I ought to my aunt, one or two times, and so--she has something against me; and I cannot pray."
"Cannot pray, my dear! that is dreadful. I should die if I could not pray. The Bible says, pray always."
"But it says, here, "if thy brother hath ought against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.""
"Let me see that place," said Mrs. Mowbray. She sat down beside Rotha and took the little Testament out of her hand, and considered the pa.s.sage.
"Well, my dear," she said at last,--"and so you think these words forbid you to pray?"
"Do they not?" said Rotha, "until I could reconcile myself to aunt Serena? or at least try."
"What is the matter between you and your aunt?"
"I do not know. I cannot tell what makes her do so."
"Do what?"
"Hide me from the only friend I have got."
"You mean that gentleman? My dear, she may have had very good reasons for that?"
"She could not have good reasons for it," said Rotha flushing.
"My dear, old people often see things that young people do not see, and cannot judge of."
"You do not know Mr. Southwode, ma"am. Anyhow, I do not feel as if I could ever forgive her."
"That makes it difficult for you to go and ask her pardon, hey?"
"Yes, ma"am."
"What are you going to do?"
"I do not know," said Rotha sadly.
"It is too late for us to talk longer to-night. I will shew you a Bible to-morrow--stop, there is no time like the present--"
Mrs. Mowbray rose and went to a table from which she brought a little volume. "This will do better," she said. "I have a Bible in which all this, in this book, is arranged in reference columns; but this is more convenient. You can use this with your own Bible, or any Bible. I am going to give you this, my dear." And she fetched a pen as she spoke and entered Rotha"s name on the t.i.tle page, with the date of day and month and year. Then she went on--"Now see, Rotha; here is what will give light on your question. Here are references from every verse in the Bible to other parts and other verses which explain or ill.u.s.trate it. Find your place,--what is it?--Mat. v. 24, is it?--here; now see, here are references to other pa.s.sages, and from them you will find references to still others. Take this to-morrow and study it out, and pray, my dear.
You cannot get along without praying."
CHAPTER XVI.
SCHOOL.