A Life For a Love

Chapter 52

Wyndham came nearer; Mr. Paget uttered a piercing shriek.

"Don"t--don"t!" he implored. "You are a lying spirit; you have often lied--often--to me. You want to take me with you; you know if you touch me I shall have to go. Don"t--oh, I beseech of you, leave me the little time longer that I"ve got to live. Don"t torment me before the time."

He dropped on his knees; his streaming white hair fell behind him, his hands were raised in supplication.

"Don"t," said Wyndham, terribly distressed. "You have wronged me bitterly, but I, too, am a sinner; I would not willingly hurt mortal on this earth. Get up, don"t degrade yourself. I am a living man like yourself. I have come to speak to you of my wife--of Valentine."

"Don"t breathe her name. I lost her through you. No, you are dead--I have murdered you--your blood is on my soul--but I won"t go with you yet, not yet. Ha! ha! I"ll outwit you. Don"t touch me!"

He gave another scream, an awful scream, half of triumph, half of despair, sprang to the door, unlocked it and vanished.

Wyndham took up his violin and left the house.

"Mad, poor fellow!" he muttered to himself. "Who"d have thought it?

Even from a worldly point of view what fools people are to sin! What luck does it ever bring them? He made me his accomplice, his victim, in order to keep his daughter"s love, in order to escape dishonor and penal servitude. He told me the whole story of that trust money--to be his if there was no child--to be kept for a child if there was. He was a good fellow before he got the trust money I have no doubt. The friend died, and soon afterwards Paget learned that he had left a son behind him. Mr. Paget told me--how well I remember his face when he told me how he felt about the son, who was then only an infant, but to whom he must deliver the trust money when he came of age. "I wanted that money badly," he said, "and I resolved to suppress the trust papers and use the money. I thought the chances were that the child would never know.""

The chances, however, were against Mr. Paget. The friend who had left him the money in trust had not so absolutely believed in him as he supposed. He had left duplicate papers, and these papers were in the boy"s possession. One day Mr. Paget learned this fact. When he knew this he knew also that when his friend"s son came of age he should have to repay the trust with interest; in short, he would have to give the young man the enormous sum of eighty thousand pounds or be branded as a thief and a criminal.

"I remember the night he told me this story," concluded Wyndham with a sigh.

He was walking slowly now in the direction of the Embankment.

"So the plot was made up," he continued. "The insurance on my life was to pay back the trust. Valentine would never know her father"s dishonor. She would continue to love him best of all men, and he would escape shame, ruin--penal servitude. How have matters turned out? For the love of a woman I performed my part: for the love of a woman and self combined, he performed his. How has he fared? The woman ceases to love him, and he is mad. I--how have matters fared with me? How? The wages of sin are hard. I saw a sight to-night which might well turn a stronger brain than mine. I saw my wife, and the man who may soon be her husband. I must not dwell on that, I dare not."

Wyndham walked on, a burning fever gave him false strength. He reached the Embankment and presently sat down near a girl who looked even poorer and more miserable than himself. There were several men and girls occupying the same bench. It was a bitter cold, frosty night; all the seats along the Embankment were full, some poor creatures even lay about on the pavement. Wyndham turned to look at the slight young creature by his side. She was very young, rather fair in appearance, and very poorly clad.

"You are shivering," said Wyndham, in the voice which still could be one of the kindest in the world.

The poor worn young face turned to look at him in surprise and even confidence.

"Yes," said the girl. "I"m bitter cold, and numb, and starved. It"s a cruel world, and I hate G.o.d Almighty for having made me."

"Hush, don"t say that. It does no good to speak against the one who loves you. Lean against me. Let me put my arm round you. Think of me as a brother for the next hour or two. I would not harm a hair of your head."

"I believe you," said the girl, beginning to sob.

With a touching movement of absolute confidence she laid her faded face against his shoulder.

"That is better, is it not?" said Wyndham.

"Yes, thank you, sir. I"m desperate sleepy, and I shan"t slip off the bench now. I was afraid to go to sleep before, for if I slipped off somebody else would get my seat, and I know I"d be dead if I lay on the pavement till morning."

"Well, go to sleep, now. I shan"t let you slip off."

"Sir, how badly you are coughing."

"I am sorry if my cough disturbs you. I cannot help giving way to it now and then."

"Oh, sir, it is not that; you seem like a good angel to me. I even love the sound of your cough, for it is kind. But have you not a home, sir?"

"I certainly have a shelter for the night. Not a home in the true sense of the word."

"Ought you not to go to your shelter, sir?"

"No, I shall stay here with you until you have had a good sleep. Now shut your eyes."

The girl tried to obey. For about ten minutes she sat quiet, and Wyndham held her close, trying to impart some of the warmth from his own body to her frozen frame. Suddenly the girl raised her eyes, looked him in the face, and smiled.

"Sir, you are an angel."

"You make a great mistake. On the contrary I have sinned more deeply than most."

"Sir?"

"It is true."

"I don"t want you to preach to me, sir; but I know from your face however you have sinned you have been forgiven."

"You make another mistake; my sin is unabsolved."

"Sir?"

The girl"s astonishment showed itself in her tone.

"Don"t talk about me," continued Wyndham. "It is a curious fact that I love G.o.d, although it is impossible for Him to forgive me until I do something which I find impossible to do. I go unforgiven through life, still I love G.o.d. I delight in His justice, I glory in the love He has even for me, and still more for those who like you can repent and come to Him, and be really forgiven."

He paused, he saw that he was talking over the girl"s head. Presently he resumed in a very gentle pleading voice:--

"I don"t want to hear your story, but----"

The girl interrupted him with a sort of cry.

"It is the usual story, sir. There is nothing to conceal. Once I was innocent, now I am what men and women call _lost_. Lost and fallen.

That"s what they say of girls like me."

"G.o.d can say something quite different to you. He can say found and restored. Listen. No one loves you like G.o.d. Loving He forgives. All things are possible to love."

"Yes, sir; when you speak like that you make me weep."

"Crying will do you good. Poor little girl, we are never likely to meet again in this world. I want you to promise me that you won"t turn against G.o.d Almighty. He is your best friend."

"Sir! And He leaves me to starve. To starve, and sin."

"He wants you not to sin. The starving, even if it must come, is only a small matter, for there is the whole of eternity to make up for it. Now I won"t say another word, except to a.s.sure you from the lips of a dying man, for I know I am dying, that G.o.d is your best friend, and that He loves you. Go to sleep."

The girl smiled again, and presently dropped off into an uneasy slumber with her head on Wyndham"s shoulder.

By-and-bye a stout woman, with a basket on her arm, came up. She looked curiously at Wyndham. He saw at a glance that she must have walked from a long distance, and would like his seat. He beckoned her over.

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