A Life For a Love

Chapter 20

Mortimer Paget would answer, glancing, with apparent pleased unconcern, but with secret anxiety, at his daughter"s face.

The glance always satisfied him; she looked bright and well--a little hard, perhaps--well, the blow must affect her in some way. What had taken place at the Gaiety would leave some results even on the most indifferent heart. The main result, however, was well. Valentine"s dawning love had changed to indifference. Had she cared for her husband pa.s.sionately, had her whole heart been given into his keeping, she must have been angry; she must have mourned.

As, evening after evening, Mr. Paget came to this conclusion, he invariably gave vent to a sigh of relief. He never guessed that if he could wear a mask, so also could his child. He never even suspected that beneath Valentine"s gay laughter, under the soft shining of her clear eyes, under her smiles, her light easy words, lay a pain, lay an ache, which ceased not to trouble her day and night.

Mr. Paget came home early. Valentine was waiting for him in the drawing-room.

"We shall have a cosy evening, father," she said. "Oh, no, Gerald can"t come. He says he has some letters to write. I think he has a headache, too. I"d have stayed with him, only he prefers being quiet. Well, we"ll have a jolly evening together. Kiss me, dad."

He did kiss her, then she linked his hand in her arm, and they went downstairs and dined together, as they used to do in the old days before either of them had heard of Gerald Wyndham.

"Let us come into the library to-night," said Valentine. "You know there is no room like the library to me."

"Nor to me," said Mr. Paget brightly. "It reminds me of when you were a child, my darling."

"Ah, well, I"m not a child now, I"m a woman."

She kept back the sigh which rose to her lips.

"I think I like being a child best, only one never can have the old childish time back again."

"Who knows, Val? Perhaps we may. If you have spoiled your teeth enough over those filberts, shall we go into the library? I have something to tell you--a little bit of news."

"All right, you shall tell it sitting in your old armchair."

She flitted on in front, looking quite like the child she more or less still was.

"Now isn"t this perfect?" she said, when the door was shut, Mr. Paget established in his armchair, and the two pairs of eyes fixed upon the glowing fire. "Isn"t this perfect?"

"Yes, my darling--perfect. Valentine, there is no love in all the world like a father"s for his child."

"No greater love has come to me," replied Valentine slowly; and now some of the pain at her heart, notwithstanding all her brave endeavors, did come into her face. "No greater love has come to me, but I can imagine, yes. I can imagine a mightier."

"What do you mean, child?"

"For instance--if you loved your husband perfectly, and he--he loved you, and there was nothing at all between--and the joy of all joys was to be with him, and you were to feel that in thought--in word--in deed--you were one, not two. There, what am I saying? The wildest nonsense. There isn"t such a thing as a love of that sort. What"s your news, father?"

"My dear child, how intensely you speak!"

"Never mind! Tell me what is your news, father."

Mr. Paget laughed, his laugh was not very comfortable.

"Has Gerald told you anything, Valentine?"

"Gerald? No, nothing special; he had a headache this evening."

"You know, Val--at least we often talked the matter over--that Gerald might have to go away for a time. He is my partner, and partners in such a firm as mine have often to go to the other side of the world to transact important business."

"Yes, you and Gerald have both spoken of it. He"s not going soon, is he?"

"That"s it, my pet. The necessity has arisen rather suddenly. Gerald has to sail for Sydney in about a month."

Valentine was sitting a little behind her father. He could not see the pallor of her face; her voice was quite clear and quiet.

"Poor old Gerry," she said; "he won"t take me, will he, father?"

"Impossible, my dear--absolutely. You surely don"t want to go."

"No, not particularly."

Valentine yawned with admirable effect.

"She really can"t care for him at all. What a wonderful piece of luck,"

muttered her father.

"I daresay Gerald will enjoy Sydney," continued his wife. "Is he likely to be long away?"

"Perhaps six months--perhaps not so long. Time is always a matter of some uncertainty in cases of this kind."

"I could come back to you while he is away, couldn"t I, dad?"

"Why, of course, my dear one, I always intended that. It would be old times over again--old times over again for you and your father, Valentine."

"Not quite, I think," replied Valentine. "We can"t go back really.

Things happen, and we can"t undo them. Do you know, father, I think Gerald must have infected me with his headache. If you don"t mind, I"ll go home."

Mr. Paget saw his daughter back to Park-lane, but he did not go into the house. Valentine rang the bell, and when Masters opened the door she asked him where her husband was.

"In the library, ma"am; you can hear him can"t you? He"s practising of the violin."

Yes, the music of this most soul-speaking, soul-stirring instrument filled the house. Valentine put her finger to her lips to enjoin silence, and went softly along the pa.s.sage which led to the library.

The door was a little ajar--she could look in without being herself seen. Some sheets of music were scattered about on the table, but Wyndham was not playing from any written score. The queer melody which he called Waves was filling the room. Valentine had heard it twice before--she started and clasped her hands as its pa.s.sion, its unutterable sadness, its despair, reached her. Where were the triumph notes which had come into it six weeks ago?

She turned and fled up to her room, and locking the door, threw herself by her bedside and burst into bitter weeping.

"Oh, Gerald, I love you! I do love you; but I"ll never show it. No, never, until you tell me the truth."

CHAPTER XXV.

"Yes," said Augusta Wyndham, "if there is a young man who suits me all round it"s Mr. Carr. Yes," she said, standing very upright in her short skirts, with her hair in a tight pig-tail hanging down her back, and her determined, wide open, bright eyes fixed upon an admiring audience of younger sisters. "He suits me exactly. He"s a kind of hail-fellow-well-met; he has no nonsensical languishing airs about him; he preaches nice short sermons, and never bothers you to remember what they are about afterwards; he"s not bad at tennis or cricket, and he really can cannon quite decently at billiards; but for all that, if _you_ think, you young "uns, that he"s going to get inside of Gerry, or that he"s going to try to pretend to know better than Gerry what I can or can"t do, why you"re all finely mistaken, so there!"

Augusta turned on her heel, pirouetted a step or two, whistled in a loud, free, unrestrained fashion, and once more faced her audience.

"Gerry said that I _could_ give out the library books. Now is it likely that Mr. Carr knows more of my capacities after six months" study than Gerry found out after fifteen years?"

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