A Likely Story

Chapter 4

Mrs. Campbell: "Oh, my goodness! And you didn"t come to tell me? Oh, if we had only known! We"ve lost our only chance, Willis."

Jane: "I did come and knock on your door, ma"am, but I couldn"t make you hear."

Campbell: "There"s still a chance. Perhaps she hasn"t got back yet."

Jane: "I know she ain"t, sir. I"ve been watching for her ever since. I can always see them come, from the pantry window."

Mrs. Campbell: "Well, then, don"t stand there talking, but run at once!

Oh, Willis! Never tell me again that there"s no such thing as an overruling providence. Oh, what an interposition! Oh, I can never be grateful and humble enough--Goodness me, Jane! why don"t you go?"

Jane: "Go where, ma"am? I don"t know what you want me to do. I"m willing enough to do anything if I know what it is, but it"s pretty hard to do things if you don"t."

Campbell: "You"re perfectly right, Jane. Mrs. Campbell wants you to telegraph yourself over to Mrs. Rice"s, and say to her that the letter you left for Miss Rice is not for her, but another lady, and Mrs.

Campbell sent it by mistake. Get it and bring it back here, dead or alive, even if Mrs. Rice has to pa.s.s over your mangled body in the attempt."

Jane, tasting the joke, while Mrs. Campbell gasps in ineffective efforts to reinforce her husband"s instructions: "I will that, sir."

V

_MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; CAMPBELL_

Campbell: "And now, while we"re waiting, let"s all join hands and dance round the table. You"re saved, Welling. So are you, Amy. And so am I--which is more to the point."

Mrs. Campbell, gayly: "Dansons!" She extends her hands to the gentlemen, and as they circle round the breakfast-table she sings,

_"Sur le pont d"Avignon, Tout le monde y danse en rond."_

She frees her hands and courtesies to one gentleman and the other.

_"Les belles dames font comme ca; Les beaux messieurs font comme ca."_

Then she catches hands with them again, and they circle round the table as before, singing,

"_Sur le pont d"Avignon, Tout le monde y danse en rond._

Oh, dear! Stop! I"m dizzy--I shall fall." She spins into a chair, while the men continue solemnly circling by themselves.

Campbell: "It is a sacred dance:

_"Sur le pont d"Avignon--"_

Welling: "It"s an expiation:

_"Tout le monde y danse en rond."_

Mrs. Campbell, springing from her chair and running to the window: "Stop, you crazy things! Here comes Jane! Come right in here, Jane! Did you get it? Give it to me, Jane!"

Welling: "_I_ think it belongs to me, Mrs. Campbell."

Campbell: "Jane, I am master of the house--nominally. Give me the letter."

VI

_JANE; MRS. CAMPBELL; WELLING; CAMPBELL_

Jane, entering, blown and panting, through the open window: "Oh, how I did run--"

Mrs. Campbell: "Yes, yes! But the letter--"

Welling: "Did you get it?"

Campbell: "Where is it?"

Jane, fanning herself with her ap.r.o.n: "I can"t hardly get my breath--"

Mrs. Campbell: "Had she got back?"

Jane: "No, ma"am."

Campbell: "Did Mrs. Rice object to giving it up?"

Jane: "No, sir."

Welling: "Then it"s all right?"

Jane: "No, sir. All wrong."

Welling: "All wrong?"

Campbell: "How all wrong?"

Mrs. Campbell: "What"s all wrong, Jane?"

Jane: "Please, ma"am, may I have a drink of water? I"m so dry I can"t speak."

Mrs. Campbell: "Yes, certainly."

Campbell: "Of course."

Welling: "Here." They all pour gla.s.ses of water and press them to her lips.

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