When I woke up, Jiang Chen had already disappeared. He left a note at the bedside, asking me to return home after I woke up.
I searched out my phone and looked, it was already past eleven o’clock, I could eat lunch. Thinking that Jiang Chen hadn’t really eaten much in the morning, I wanted to buy some food for him to eat before leaving.
Hence, I swept and parted my hair for a little while before leaving the room. Upon leaving the room, I so happened to run into that sanitation worker auntie, I very happily went up and asked her, "Auntie, where is the hospital canteen?"
She looked at me, then looked at the door of Jiang Chen"s office, and said, "I don"t know."
Her tone of voice was very harsh, as if I was sc.u.m.
I said again, "Haven"t you been working in the hospital for a few decades, how can you not know where the canteen is?"
She used a gaze of looking at faeces to size me up from head to toe, and said with revulsion, "Even if I know, I won"t tell you."
I was shocked by her frankness, and felt that she really was an honest person who made a clear difference between what she loved and what she hated, and who really poured out her whole heart and soul* to tell it as it was. (T/N: original idiom directly translated means to fish out your heart and your lungs (掏心掏肺), meaning to devote yourself entirely to a matter)
After she finished speaking, she then walked onwards pushing the rubbish bin, before she turned round the corner she even loudly lamented, "People nowadays deliver gifts till they deliver on the bed, really disgusting."
Facing the gla.s.s window of the corridor, I took measure of myself, my clothes were a little wrinkled, my hair was a little messy, but it didn"t appear like I had been ravaged too. I felt grieved that I was always being misunderstood, at the same time I also felt grieved for this auntie"s humanity. She would rather believe that I was a nutcase or that I was on the casting couch*, yet she was unwilling to believe that we were only a couple that loved each other. Of course, this could also be because I had a face that didn"t look like an innocent woman, but it was also more possible that Jiang Chen always had extremely terrible rumours and comments about him, causing the ma.s.ses of society to lose faith in his conduct. (T/N: "casting couch" referring to the practise where actresses must trade s.e.xual favours to be casted in roles)
In order not to encounter such a cold countenance like that of the sanitation worker auntie again, I decided to depend on my own strength to search for the mysterious whereabouts of that canteen. Just as I was wandering about in the hospital, Jiang Chen called.
He said, "Have you woken up?"
I said, "Just woke up."
He said, "Then be more careful on your way back."
I went silent for a little while, before speaking, "Have you eaten?"
He said, "Mm, I"m eating with the family members of a patient."
I spoke, "Okay, I got it, I"ll go back."
Nowadays, even doctors had to accompany their clients for meals. And I didn"t know why I was a little disappointed, perhaps it was that I was hungry and yet he didn"t invite me to freeload a meal together. What is known as "going into battle, it"s best to have father and son as soldiers*", freeloading meals, it"s best to have a couple doing so, he really wasn"t sensible. (T/N: a line from a proverb meaning that in times of life and death, family members are the most dependable people to work with)
I took a shower when I got home, then changed into a set of comfortable clothes and sat on the bed lost in thought. This weekend was endlessly long, fragmented into bits and pieces such that it wasn"t real at all. One moment my heart would swell till it was full, the next moment it would be sucked out till it was empty. Hesitatingly, I curled my legs up in front of my chest and hugged them, this pose was to match with the current apprehension and worries about loss and gain* in my heart. The pose in addition to my mentality, I felt that I really was a flower-petal-like young woman. (T/N: a Chinese idiom meaning to worry that you can"t obtain something, yet worrying that you will lose it once you do obtain it)
I took up my telephone and made a call to Wu Bosong, the phone only rang twice before it was picked up, proving that he was very idle.
Wu Bosong said, "Chen Xiaoxi, child, have you and your lover reconciled yet?"
I said, "We"ve reconciled."
He said, "Aiyaya, why does your voice sound so downcast?"
I went silent.
His tone of voice started to become serious. "It"s not that after you reconciled with him, only then did you discover that the person you love most is me, right?"
I rolled my eyes, "Screw you."
He laughed twice, before saying indifferently, "Speak, what"s up?"
I first gave a long, long sigh to express that I really was very distressed, after which I then recounted once through to him the process of us reconciling according to how it really happened. Finally, I asked him, "Would you think that this sort of situation of ours is very absurd?"
He asked, "Why would it be absurd?"
I said, "It was very flippant, how can we inexplicably break up and inexplicably get back together, this makes me appear like I"m very wanton."
He said, "Give me a break, I thought that once Jiang Chen beckons you over with his finger, you will fly over and throw yourself (at him)."
I spoke again, "But they all say that girls who chase guys won"t be cherished, this actually has been a hidden worry in my heart all this while."
He said, "Then you can go and look for someone else, let someone else chase you, let someone else cherish you."
I said, "What are you being so angry for, can"t you just talk me around nicely? You say, it"s been three years already, why am I such a loser?"
He said, "Alright then, I thought what you needed now was a wake-up call*, I didn"t expect that what you want now is a caring older brother. Since this is so, I"ll be a little more tactful, you"re simply idiotic plus infatuated, once you mention Jiang Chen you will smile nauseatingly, once you see Jiang Chen your two eyes will light up just like how a fly does when it sees p.o.o.p. Don"t speak of three years, even if it were thirty years, you also can"t escape from Jiang Chen"s palm." (T/N: original idiom is 当头棒喝 - literally meaning a blow and a shout to one"s head. Alludes to the Buddhist practice where the master would just randomly club a novice"s head or shout at a novice to demand an answer for no reason, to test the novice"s progress in comprehending Buddhist concepts. The idiom refers to methods to make one wake up to reality, or to give someone a severe warning)
…… Your definition of "tactful" is very unique.
I believed that what he said wasn"t wrong, in this world, there really existed matter which "reinforced each other and subdued each other*", for example, Sister Furong* was the bane of Tsinghua University, Sister Feng* was the bane of the plastic surgery industry, and Jiang Chen was the bane of my life. Uh, it seems like this a.n.a.logy isn"t very elegant. Let"s put it this way, there are some people who just are that calamity* in your life, no matter if you love it or hate it, nothing can compare to one sentence of his. (T/N: The original phrase - 相生相克, refers to the five phases of Chinese philosophy - wood, fire, earth, metal, water. Each phase reinforces/develops another phase, and each phase subdues another phase too. To give an example: fire gives rise to earth, because after fire burns things, the matter will turn to ashes, which becomes earth, but fire subdues metal, because fire can melt metal.) (T/N: Sister Furong/Furong Jiejie is a woman who is notorious on the internet and is an internet celebrity. She initially gained notoriety for her posts on the Internet forums of Tsinghua University and Peking University after she tried a few times but failed to get a place in these schools for postgraduate studies. [Btw, Tsinghua and Peking are the top two universities in Beijing/China]) (T/N: Sister Feng is another internet celebrity who became famous due to a lot of outlandish comments/things she did. In 2010, she announced that she was going to do plastic surgery, saying that she was going to do plastic surgery till she looked like Fan Bing Bing/Shu Qi etc, and apparently her doing plastic surgery (among many other things) caused a nationwide sensation) (T/N: an ancient Taoist macroscopic concept relating to time, referring to bad luck, adversity, catastrophes that are destined to happen in your life.)
I said, "Then Jiang Chen"s mother doesn"t like me, and my dad also doesn"t like Jiang Chen, we still don"t have a future."
Wu Bosong said, "This way, I"ll tell you a story."
He told me a story about a young man and woman, this story could almost reach the top and take the number one position among all the ridiculous stories I have ever heard.
The boy and the girl loved each other, and after that they wanted to get married. The paternal grandmother of the boy didn"t approve of it, because the girl was born in the year of the dog*, and the grandmother had been bitten before by a dog when she was small. This signified that if the girl married into the family, she would clash with the grandmother"s good fortune, so the grandmother refused to let the two get married for the life of her. You see how ridiculous this was, to me, being born in the year of the dog at most symbolised that after the girl married into the family, whenever she found the grandmother unfavourable, she would have an excuse to bite her only. Later on, that boy couldn"t bear to be disobedient to his grandmother, and hence left. Before he left, he promised that he would definitely return to marry the girl. Many years later, the boy returned, the girl became his father"s mistress, and even gave birth to a big fat baby for his father in the year of the dog. And just when his father was in the midst of seeking a divorce from his mother in order to give this girl a status, his grandmother was made so angry by her new grandson born in the year of the dog that she was hospitalised. You see, this girl"s method of seeking revenge wasn"t only just ridiculous, it was also quite sinister - if I can"t become your wife I"ll become your mother, if I can"t marry your grandson I"ll marry your son, you don"t want a granddaughter-in-law that"s born in the year of the dog, I"ll give birth to a grandson born in the year of the dog for you. (T/N: The Chinese zodiac calendar operates in cycles of 12 lunar years, with an animal representing each year in the cycle. Being born in a certain year represented by a certain animal is often thought to influence your personality and your fortune.)
After I finished listening, I sounded an "ah" in astonishment, and asked him, "Is this your story?"
He said, "It"s not."
I said, "If it"s not, what are you telling it to me for, don"t tell me that you want me to go and seduce Jiang Chen"s dad?"
He said, "I just want to tell you that there are some people in this world who are very ridiculous, they like to interfere in other people"s lives boldly and with conviction, yet you totally can ignore them. For example, the boy and the girl in this story, they totally could have gone to register their marriage themselves or make an agreement with each other to elope, if that was really out of the question, waiting till the old woman died would have resolved it, there was no need to ruin each other"s and other people"s lives."
I said, "So you mean for me and Jiang Chen to elope?"
He said, "What elope, you are so stupid, where can you elope off to."
I said, "Then what exactly do you mean?"
He said, "Actually there"s also not much meaning, I just suddenly wanted to tell you a story."
I said, "That"s not it, this really is your story right, if you are afraid of me knowing why did you need to tell me?"
He said, "This really isn"t my story, this is the story of my mother and my older brother. I"m just telling you about my confusing life history to let you feel more balanced in your heart."
Once again, he succeeded in making me sound an "ah" in astonishment.
We then chatted randomly and blindly about some trivial rubbish, after hanging up the phone I suddenly was filled with confidence in the future of Jiang Chen and I, because I felt that since I was born in the year of the dragon, and this sort of creature that the dragon was was comparatively more mythological and imaginary, it wasn"t too possible that I would be able to bite Jiang Chen"s family members, so in any case I wouldn"t be reduced to the same state that Wu Bosong"s mother was in.
You see, us humans are always like this, we need an even more miserable story to decorate our own misery, we use other people"s sorrows to balance out our own sorrows. How did that powerful sentence go again - when I was complaining about how I didn"t have shoes to wear, I discovered that there were people who didn"t have legs. I had legs, I also wasn"t born in the year of the dog, how blessed was I.