Lovers always have conversations about this and that to chat about between them, especially if one of them is a chatterbox. When I questioned Jiang Chen closely for the twelfth time why did he like me back in those days or when did he discover that he liked me, he took up the car keys and said, "We have to go to work tomorrow, I"ll send you home."
I sighed in disappointment, this doubt had existed from that day we got together, no matter how I threatened and bribed him or pulled down my clothes to reveal my delectable shoulder to seduce him, Jiang Chen didn"t speak, which was a pity for there was actually also a youthful and sprouting heart underneath my prattling exterior.
As I was being squeezed into the car, I was still thinking of ways to make him what I wanted to hear, I said, "Do you know, back then I felt that if I continued to like you like this, but you continued to not like me, my youth would be gone."
"Oh, so it"s actually like this." He said.
I glared at him, "You are really very horrid."
He simply couldn"t be bothered to pay attention to me, he was paying attention to the road condition very seriously.
I often thought, even if two people are very intimate, it is entirely impossible to know each other"s thoughts. Even if there is the occasional telepathy between two hearts linked as one, for example him knowing that you want to pour a gla.s.s of water to drink when you stand up, him knowing that you are in a bad mood when you look outside of the window not speaking…… These also are all only acc.u.mulated cognition from living habits. You are eternally unable to know whether the person in front of you loves you or not after all, you can only depend on trust.
When I had finished expressing that paragraph of opinion above, Jiang Chen said, "What exactly are do you want to express?"
I said, "You see, I stayed for ten months in my mother"s stomach, I still don"t understand what pleasure she derives as a married old madam from going onto Tianya every day to look at young handsome boys, you say, if she had an "uncle complex", I would still be able to comprehend it slightly better. So we need to communicate, you have to tell me why exactly do you like me, to strengthen my trust."
Jiang Chen said, "You are really very bothersome, how many times must I say "I don"t know" for you to believe me, I know how to cut open a person"s chest, I know how to do a heart bypa.s.s surgery, I know how to change a heart valve, but I really don"t know why I like you."
I"ve said it before, when the dialogue ascends into a professional plane, I am unable to understand what I hear……
Sometimes, the more my hopes are dampened, the braver I become, so I said, "Then you tell me, when you felt that you liked me."
He took a deep sigh, and turned the steering wheel with great force, the car went around a corner, "I don"t remember, why are you so insistent on being hung up on this?"
The things that women want to be hung up on are plentiful, our face, our skin, our hairstyles, our figure, money, housing, who loves whom, who doesn"t love whom…… Too bad, I"m also a woman.
Unable to get the answer I wanted from the beginning till now, I felt very dejected, so I was prepared to not say anything anymore, whoever resented the oppressive atmosphere could open his mouth first. Unfortunately, Jiang Chen didn"t resent the oppressive atmosphere for the entire journey, I concede, it was very possible that he had even slept in the mortuary before, this little bit of oppression was really nothing.
The car reached downstairs of my house, as I opened the car door I said, "I"m going back."
"Let"s have a goodbye kiss." Jiang Chen pressed the horn lightly, the horn let out a short cry that sounded like a fart.
I said, "Don"t want."
He said, "I won"t despise your bad technique."
If this could be tolerated, what couldn"t be tolerated? I stuck up my adorable middle finger at him.
He stared blankly for two seconds, then said sinisterly, "Chen Xiaoxi, if you don"t want to go to Doctor Su for emergency treatment, put away your finger, come over here and give me a kiss."
I dragged my footsteps and moved around to the car window on his side, he rolled down the car window and stuck out his large head. He smiled as he hummed, "You and I kiss goodbye, on a street with n.o.body around……*" (T/N: Lyrics of very cla.s.sic and famous Mandopop song "Goodbye Kiss" by Jacky Cheung in 1993, one of the "Four Heavenly Kings" of Cantopop)
He had a good voice, that I"d always known, moreover, a handsome face like this, unhurriedly humming while smiling like this, was indeed very deserving of a kiss.
I cupped his face, moved close to him and gave him a big kiss, then I rubbed my nose against his, and kissed him again. His lips were soft and warm, his smell was mild and familiar, I believed I could kiss for a very long time, as long as he didn"t resent his neck hurting.
He didn"t resent his neck hurting, but on the contrary it was me who resented not having enough air. Pushing him away, I panted heavily and said, "It"s not counted as having bad technique this time round, I didn"t take a deep breath beforehand."
Jiang Chen covered with his hand his head that had struck the car window frame when pushed by me and said, "I recommend that you go and learn first aid, including a course on CPR."
I stuck up two fingers and wanted to pierce his eyes, he laughed and pulled away. "I really don"t remember, though I do remember that there was one time you roared and shouted at me on the sports field."
After he finished speaking, he drove off with his car whizzing away, I stayed on the spot covering my skirt which had almost been blown at and lifted up, only after a long time did I realise that he was replying my previous question.
Sports field? Roaring and shouting? Honestly speaking, the times I did such things during that valiant student era were numerous, you really have to let me think properly, let me think properly.
It was when I was showering that I suddenly remembered, I was so stirred up that I almost slipped and fell head first into the toilet bowl. Thankfully I pulled on the shower tubing, though pitifully I had to change to a new tube the next day.
That was the level-wide basketball compet.i.tion in the second semester of Senior Year 2. In the aspect of sports, us arts students were destined to be looked down upon, so our entire cla.s.s all didn"t really set our hearts on it, on the other end, Jiang Chen was in Sciences Cla.s.s 3, which reportedly could have a show-down to determine who was male and female*, uh, that"s not right, they both were males, a show-down to determine life and death, a show-down to determine life and death. (T/N: "a show-down to determine who was male and female" - a Chinese idiom with its origins from "Records of the Great Historian", which means a show-down to determine who is the victor and who is the loser. In this case, "male and female" is an a.n.a.logy for "victory or defeat" (in the context of where the idiom came from, it was Xiang Yu challenging Liu Bang to a battle to determine victory and defeat)
The first match was our cla.s.s versus Jiang Chen"s cla.s.s, of course I had to watch, actually I went to watch every match of my Jiang Chen"s cla.s.s.
That match was really the most c.r.a.ppy compet.i.tion I had ever seen, our cla.s.s with great difficulty had pooled together a basketball team. Forgetting about the fact that they played ball like they were taking a stroll, our cla.s.s monitor hugged the basketball that had come into his hands and stood on the spot as if he was hugging his child that he had been separated from for many years and refused to let go, all that was lacking in the end was him lifting up his shirt to feed milk. I really wanted to pretend that I didn"t know them.
Jiang Chen was different, he dribbling skills surpa.s.sed others, his three-pointer, his three-step layup, so handsome, the peak of perfection throughout the ages.
Our cla.s.s only partic.i.p.ated in two rounds before we were kept far away from the basketball post, while Jiang Chen"s cla.s.s under his leadership raided all the way into the finals, and finally was to have a showdown with the sports cla.s.s.
That was a wan winter day, our form teacher insisted on extending cla.s.s beyond the bell to talk about some matters that he thought were very important, for example, the blackboard not being wiped clean, there were too many paper bits on the floor, puppy love…… I looked out of the window at the ma.s.ses of people gathering together and moving around on the sports field, worrying helplessly, if he loved occupying time so much why didn"t he occupy lesson time?
With great difficulty, I endured till the old man was willing to release us, when I dashed to the sports field I heard a long whistle, the compet.i.tion had ended. I randomly pulled at a stranger and asked, he said that Sciences Cla.s.s 3 had suffered a crushing defeat. I thought, at such a time, how could Jiang Chen not have me by his side, hence I again dashed all the way to the cla.s.sroom of Sciences Cla.s.s 3.
My sound of "Jiang Chen" was choked at my mouth, there were only two people left in such a big cla.s.sroom - Jiang Chen and Li Wei, they were facing each other as they sat with a table in between them. Their heads were very close to each other as they were in the process of talking about something, at that time four words flashed through my mind - "adulterous man, wanton woman*". (T/N: meaning an adulterous couple)
The two of them looked at me uniformly, Jiang Chen"s complexion wasn"t very good, after giving me a glare, he didn"t speak.
I thought for a while and (decided that) I had better explain, "Our lesson extended past the bell."
Jiang Chen didn"t reply, the atmosphere was momentarily a little awkward. Li Wei smilingly said, "Chen Xiaoxi, thankfully I still helped Jiang Chen prepare water today."
I forced myself to smile. "Thanks to you." I paused, then couldn"t help but ask Jiang Chen, "How was that compet.i.tion of yours?"
Jiang Chen turned a deaf ear to me, his face was expressionless and I also didn"t know where his line of sight was falling on.
Li Wei said, "Today our cla.s.s didn"t have a very good display."
"Oh, it"s like this." I fished around in the trouser pocket of my school uniform, wanting to return the rest of the money to Jiang Chen, only then did I discover that I had placed the money in my schoolbag and had forgotten to take it, I could only say, "Uh… that, I just wanted to come over and take a look, I"ll go off first."
Jiang Chen didn"t spare another glance at me, he didn"t even take the trouble to snort a word from his nose to send me off.
I teared and ran off the moment I turned around, the heart of a seventeen/eighteen-year-old girl was not to be used for attacking like this.
Later, I returned to my cla.s.sroom to take my schoolbag, when I came out, I surprisingly met Jiang Chen at the sports field. After hesitating for a moment, I still went over and said, "So coincidental, do you want to leave together?"
I don"t know why he was suddenly very impatient, he said, "Can you not always follow after me."
As a matter of fact, ever since we went into separate cla.s.ses, I had very little opportunities to follow after him, moreover this time it really wasn"t that I wanted to follow after him. This sort of situation was called a "chance encounter" in the explanation in the Xinhua dictionary, but I didn"t point out the unreasonable nature of these words of his, I was busy being broken-hearted and sad.
Afterwards, he probably again said some unpleasant words, I most likely also reb.u.t.ted him with some words, these are all a little vague, but I remember him saying, "Did I ask you to like me?"
After that, I cried loudly on the sports field, fishing out wad after wad of money from my school bag to throw onto the ground with great force. Liking a person was such a careful affair, even though I was so sad, I also didn"t dare to smash the money onto his body.
I remember me saying, "I won"t pay attention to you anymore in the future, a lifetime is so long, I will definitely not only like you alone!"
What a pity, until now, I still only like him alone, this proves that when conducting yourself, one shouldn"t speak too soon, there will be retribution. I let out a sigh, even though this was all water under the bridge, thinking about it now still made me feel very sad.
I gave Jiang Chen a phone call while drying my hair. "Have you reached home?"
"I"ve reached."
I said, "I"ve recalled it, that time on the sports field."
He laughed on that end of the mobile phone, "You were crying really wretchedly."
I said, "Then?"
"Then I felt that I had better not cause you to cry so wretchedly in the future."
I rubbed my tingly nose and said, "I want to ask you a question now, you must reply me honestly, don"t deceive me just because you want to save face."
He said okay.
I spoke, "Then after that, did you go back to the sports field to pick up the money and leave or not?"
…… That end of the phone sunk into an abnormal silence.
I questioned closely, "Did you or not? h.e.l.lo? Did you hear me?"
"I didn"t." The p.r.o.nunciations of the two words was very articulate.
I sighed in disappointment, "Good for the student on duty that day."
"Don"t tell me that you would still go back later to pick up those few dollars after you cried till you were in that state!" Jiang Chen"s tone of voice was sinister.
"How is it a few dollars, there was at least fifty or sixty dollars left." I explained, "After I left I felt that you being this sort of person with an eccentric temperament would surely not pick the money up, so I returned again to pick them, but not a single cent was left."
I originally thought that if I returned to pick them, the money I picked up would be considered to belong to me……
Translator"s Corner:
The song that Jiang Chen was humming! One of the cla.s.sics from the 90s