Her emotion for the moment was actually so intense that she could not speak. Her throat rolled red and fat over the collar of her dress, and she was shaking visibly. I knew the storm would break presently, though I was totally in the dark as to what I had done to arouse such a tempest, so I gently lifted the ironing board from our laps, propped it carefully against a post, and got up, that I might take the blast standing. I gave no greeting, nor made any attempt at pacification. But the breath almost left my body when the first vial was uncorked.
"_You_ sneak"n" fur"ner! Mak"n" love to Father John"s niece, then try"n"
to fool "n" ruin my Lessie!"
I fell back a step and threw up my hand, a deadly, numbing horror spreading through me. Before I could recover enough for speech Granny"s needle-sharp tongue was going again.
"I know yo"! I"ve knowed yo" all "long, but that daffy Jer-bome "n" that pore fool gal "lowed I"s wrong "n" too hard on yo", I tol" "em way back yan whut yo" "s hang"n" "bout fur--yo" _scamp_! W"en a w"ite-faced, slick-tongued city feller comes spark"n" a gal whut lives whur this "n"
does, yo" c"n put it down he "s a-doin" th" dev"l"s work. I knowed it, I tell yo", "n" yo" didn"t pull no wool over _my_ eyes! I"ve had "sper"ence "ith sich, "n" onct in a lifetime "s "nough, heav"n knows!
Now take yo" seff off, yo" hyp--hyp--yo" "ceiv"n", "ceptious vilyun, "n"
never so much as lay eyes on my gal--my precious lam"--ag"in, ur I"ll _scratch_ "em out o" yo" head!"
I paid little heed to this lurid denunciation. After the astounding revelation of her first speech, I strove to get my mind in working order, for it had suffered temporary paralysis. Before the voluble, bitter flow of words had ceased, I knew what had happened, and my face crimsoned with shame and anger. I dared not look at the girl at my feet yet, to see how this harsh accusation had affected her. Granny saw the red in my cheeks, and blazed out afresh.
"Yo" mought well blush, yo" blaggard; a-comin" "ith yo" h.e.l.lish notions to do hurt "n" harm to this motherless chil"! Yo"--"
"Hush!" I cried, drawing nearer the angered old woman in my deep earnestness. "Don"t say those things again in the presence of--her! They are lies! Everything you have said is a black, cowardly lie!"
"Do yo" _dare_ to tell me that his rev"rence, that holy pries", lied to me? Yo"--yo"--"
She thrust her hands toward my throat with her fingers working convulsively.
I controlled myself, grasped her wrists and brought her arms down, then looked hard into her eyes as I answered:
"No, Father John did not lie, but Beryl Drane did. I have never spoken a word of love to her. I have seen her only twice. Once when I got her out of the river when her boat upset, and a second time when I went to see Father John. I believe I offended her, unintentionally, at that time, but I have never made love to her for the best of reasons--I have no feeling for her but that of pity. She told a dangerous, dastardly falsehood when she declared to her uncle that I had spoken of love to her. All of this I swear to be the truth; on the cross, on the Bible, on my mother"s sacred honor! And I respect and honor Lessie as I would my own sister!"
Truth alone is a powerful weapon, and I could see that Granny was impressed, though not convinced. She still viewed me in truculence and disgust, but there was a subtle change in her demeanor. I could feel it more than I could see it. I waited, knowing that I must not be too eager in my disclaimers. Granny stood, plainly taken aback, and when she spoke her voice had sunk to its natural compa.s.s.
"I dunno. It don"t "pear right to me.... Whut cause has a gal to make up sich a yarn as this?--tell me that!"
She flung the question at me with a triumphant flare.
I hesitated. Should I tell the true reason? Should I tell how this girl had tried to flirt with me, and then, when I had refused, had concocted this devilish scheme which only a bad woman could have thought of? I owed her nothing, not even consideration now, and she had made a bold stroke to blacken me irretrievably in the eyes of Celeste. But something held my tongue. I could not betray her baseness except as a last resort.
I stood with eyes down, thinking. The old beldam facing me deemed it was from shame, and my inability to answer her question. I remained silent.
"Yo" "ve lied to me!" came her voice, shrill again, and carrying a victorious note. "Whut cause has she, I say? Yo" dunno. Cause "nough, I "low! "N" yo" can"t answer, git yo" gone frum these premises, "n" never sot yo" foot on "em ag"in!"
I lifted my head at this, and replied in low, even words.
"I know, but I cannot tell you. But believe me, I am innocent of this charge."
Mingled with Granny"s vindictive scream of derision was a heart-broken moan from the door-step. I turned quickly, to see my Celeste, hands over her eyes, run weeping in the house.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
IN WHICH I DESCEND INTO h.e.l.l
I have descended into h.e.l.l.
I had no idea of the intensity of my own nature until the deeps were stirred. Few of us ever come to a full realization of what we are, or may become. I have always thought with some degree of pride that my acquaintance with myself was perfect. More than that, I was positive that my ego was entirely subservient to my will. So it always has been until now. But the reason for this is that I have lived upon the crust of life, have walked calmly and confidently upon the tops of things. It is indeed a poor sort of fool who does not know himself in his relations to the superficialities of his daily existence. How satisfied I was! How willing to meet emergencies and demands, in the full faith that I could cope with all such. I do not think I am an exception to my fellow creatures in this. All men whose natures are well rounded and adjusted have this same idea. It is essential to their progress. We must perforce believe in our own abilities before we can perform any achievements. So I am not ashamed to write these words. I have never been conceited, nor puffed up. I have had no cause to be, but I don"t believe I would have been had I reasons--or what silly people give as reasons, for really there is never any justification for such a mental att.i.tude.
Neither am I ashamed to say that I have descended into h.e.l.l. At first sight it may seem weakness, but upon investigation it will be found the reverse is true. I did not take the plunge voluntarily, although my perhaps foolish adherence to a Quixotic theory undoubtedly had a deal to do with precipitating me downward. From the fact that my feet have strayed along the gloomy, thorn-set paths of h.e.l.l for the past week, I have awakened to a newer and truer knowledge of myself. Had my feelings been on the surface only, the past seven days would have found me philosophically plodding through the forest recesses in search of my mystical life-plant, or busily engaged in my garden, or curled up in an easy chair reading one of my favorites. Not one of these natural things have I done, for the simple reason that I have been a dweller in h.e.l.l instead, and in this grim demesne there is neither life-plant, garden nor books. But there is torture, in exquisite variety. The world-worn and cynical may sniff and declare that a man beyond thirty should have pa.s.sed this sentimental, simpering age. I don"t know how that may be. I cannot answer. I can only set down that which befell me, and I choose to regard as strength, rather than weakness, that quality which has enabled me to suffer like unto a d.a.m.ned soul. Surely if any doubt ever flickered on the horizon of my conscience, that doubt has been swept away and annihilated utterly. I am possessed by a legion of devils which escort me hourly on my way; grinning, fiendish, sleepless devils which leap about my feet with gibe and curse, and dance upon my pillow in a fiery saraband when I fain would forget in sleep. Sleep! When did I sleep?
Sunday night? No, G.o.d"s mercy! Sunday night I wandered bareheaded, coatless, for miles and miles, hour after hour. I did not choose my way.
I did not even take the road leading down from the plateau. I think I must have eaten something mechanically, then came out of the Lodge whose walls were shutting off my breath, and made straight for the closest point of descent. It was near the lone pine, between cedar bushes which ruthlessly scratched my unheeding face. Here the declivity was steep and rough. Had I been moving in the world I never would have taken it, but in h.e.l.l one cannot choose his path. I went down. I fell. I collided roughly with the trunks of trees. I tripped, I stumbled, I cursed, and went on. I came to a cliff. It sank sheer, and below was darkness. I lay down, rolled my body over, hung by my hands, and dropped. I knew not, neither cared, where I might alight. I splashed into a shallow pool not over six feet beneath. Then came leagues after leagues of tireless walking. I noted neither distance nor time. At last I burst out upon a huge, flat rock, overhanging a valley of majestic length and breadth. A gibbous moon brightened the sky and silvered the slopes about me. Then for a few moments I was on earth again, brought back by the magical beauty of the scene. But my respite was indeed brief. The black gulf of perdition closed over me again as the merciless hand of Fate twisted anew the iron in my soul, and I turned away from that glimpse of the earth with my teeth chattering. How far had I strayed? Heaven knows. But it was past midday when I again sighted that sentinel-like peak beneath which I shelter.
The next night I sat face to face with the devil through the long, lonely, hideous hours. Ah! but he is a specious rogue! There never was a tongue on earth like unto his. But I met his arguments with a sort of bulldog, mean combativeness. So we talked back and forth, out there, in front of the Lodge. I occupied one bench, he the other, and our meeting was gruesome. How full he was of guile, sleek insinuation, plausible persuasion. At first his method was violent--but I shall tell first of how the encounter happened.
After a pretense at supper I clutched my cold pipe for company and crept out to the seat. I did not light up. Burning tobacco makes for solace at most times, but I knew my erstwhile cherished weed would be an affront to my taste and a stench in my nostrils that night. And as I sat, humped over and almost a-shiver because of the powerful emotions which had been racking me for forty-eight hours, and more, thinking of all I had lost, the Prince of Demons leaped full armed upon me, all unexpectedly, and his a.s.sault was fierce. At first I crouched under it sinisterly, as a man will when an evil takes him unawares. But another moment my heart and mind and soul had arisen simultaneously to my rescue, and together we fought a good fight. I doubt me if many unwritten battles were harder contested. Thus, beneath the stubborn resistance of my staunch and faithful allies, the Enemy"s violence abated. But presently I knew that he had changed his tactics only, and had not withdrawn. For there he crouched on the bench just across from me, apparently unhurt, while I realized with much sadness and shame that each of my champions bore marks of the conflict. I remained silent, hoping my unwelcome visitor would depart, but instead he began now to leer and smirk at me ingratiatingly.
"What do you want?" I asked, surlily enough, for my spirit was sore within me, and this presence was most distasteful.
Said the Devil: "What do _you_ want?"
Thereat he grinned ghastily, and wagged his head, while I felt my heart turn sick, and my bowels tremble. But I answered:
"I want that which is as far removed from you and your accursed power as G.o.d and his angels--a real woman"s love!"
Now he laughed in raucous glee.
"And that"s what you have lost--by playing the fool! Is it not so?"
"That"s what I have lost--perhaps by playing the fool," I replied.
Said the Devil to me:
"And that very day you went back about sunset, driven by the barbs of your pa.s.sion, to tell the old woman the truth. You could not gain admittance to the house. You saw no one. You have been back twice. You have laid in wait. But you have failed to get speech with any in the house. Is it not so?"
I nodded a.s.sent.
"Then what?" continued the Devil.
"h.e.l.l--and you!" I retorted, in desperation.
Then the Devil edged closer to me along the plank; he seemed to writhe across it like something with a hurt back. It made my flesh creep to see him. He leaned toward me through the intervening s.p.a.ce, and stretching out his ugly, snake-like neck, hissed:
"Honor and virtue are lies! Pleasure is truth. Take her--"
Up I sprang, fist at shoulder, and lunged at that fiendish visage with all the power of my body. I hit nothing, the impetus of the stroke wheeled me entirely around, and there stood mine Enemy, hands on hips, shaking with silent laughter.
I stood and glared at him in angry helplessness.
"Easy--easy!" he chuckled. "You are not the first to shrink at giving up a cherished chimera. You see I am much older than you, and know all of humanity"s foibles and make-believes. I am your friend. In your mind you have created an angel out of a piece of ign.o.ble clay. Listen, while I prove to you that I am your friend, and show you a way to success."
Thereupon his vileness became so bold and horrible that I will not soil this white paper with a transscript of it, and I sank upon a bench, elbows on knees and face in hands, listening to the d.a.m.nable rigmarole because I could not help it. My visitor was beyond personal violence--witness my recent fruitless attempt to strike him--or time and again I would have closed with him and slain him, or been slain.
Shudders of shame and rage swept me from head to foot, and my cheeks grew so hot they burned my palms. Hours pa.s.sed. At times the Devil relaxed, and a sort of armistice prevailed, then he would renew his merciless planning for my destruction, and how smooth and easy the road appeared under the magic of his voice! Throughout the entire night I remained humped over, shaking at intervals as some especially diabolical sentence fell upon my unwilling but helpless ears; holding my tongue, because I knew that no words of mine would avail to move the monster at my elbow.