The final course was about to be served. She went down, when Xiao Yan had made his duty to remind her that she had forgotten about the time. In a way that almost made him want to strangle him, but of course she was better than that. Knowing that this was important to do so in the first place.Even if all she wanted to do was think, and nothing else. But this had to be done, at least this was the last for the day.
She hurried down the steps; almost tripping on one. Narrowly avoiding that, she took up her skirts and went into the taking the dessert. A masterpiece to be gazed upon, chances for it to have been otherwise were slim. She carried the bowl up, for she may dislike the cook and her personality, her skill was always top notch. Never to be avoided no matter what they thought of her. Even she will have been tempted to save some for herself.
But she was always professional, having to deal with this several times over. Having the chance to be able try this in the first place. She entered inside, clear of what she had to do in the first place. Just serve and keep her mind off things, like how it always has been done. She poured a bowl for all of them, carefully laying out the utensils.
She ended it by stepping out for the final time. Taking in a deep breath, but she was only here for a short while. Before she found her way around it fast enough, and went out free from all of it within a short while. At last she has completed this.
She went into her own rooms, for the remainder of the time. At least to try and understand what happened then, it was a unique experience that she needed to know. Most of them were normal, after she got used to them. Some were a little stranger but nothing quite like this.
Nothing that will make her think that it was just so odd.
Nothing that will have made her think that there was something more.
There should have been more suspicion on her part. Even when there was telltale signs. But eager for an opportunity to have avoided the debt she will incur, ones she was perfectly capable of taking on.
She merely went back to her own room. Letting her have the chance and time to mull it over in the first place. To collect her own thoughts and find a reason why it happened, then think of a reason why it became the way it did. The way that it had emerged at the end of the day.
She sat in her own small table, free to think about all of this. What Yuntong had said to her, what had been his intentions behind it. With him, he never seemed to harbor any particular motive when it came to her. Nothing seemed to show it in any form at all, or anything that really gave the idea what was going on.
When it came to him, all seemed to have occurred at the right moment and purely a coincidence. But knowing her own status as an adopted girl, she knew full well that stories should have more meaning for her. At least more than what any other girl might take meaning for them.
Before Feiyu opened the door, almost as though guessing her troubles. Not even with a word. But she was here, and took a seat beside her. She had left her instrument--probably with Qingshuang.
"Is it odd that I leave?" For her, when she has only known her for a short amount of time, it was anything but convincing. For Feiyu, it will have been difficult to tell.
"He said that it never happened. He"s been here long enough that I was convinced." Qingshuang had been here for months, since lunar new year. And he was not in a good position to do so in the first place, being a man and she went into her personal bedroom.
"I just needed some time alone." She wasn"t denying that it was wrong, neither was it correct. She just needed time for herself to think about it.
"Considering that you have never really left any of them, I"m not sure that this was the reason." Feiyu had been astute enough to know all of it. Even with very little interaction with her. Besides, if she disliked Yuntong it will have been obvious. No need for her to choose to sit beside him. She was aware of etiquette and the importance of grace and niceties. But she has never been the type who will keep people close if she actively disliked them.
Something that Feiyu will have caught on.
"Besides, Yuntong asked me to look for you as well. Since he is not in a good position to do so." At least one where there will not be any scandal. Talking to him in public was one thing but inviting her to her personal bedroom is another. The former might at most gain mild disapproval while the latter will have brought her virtue into questioning.
"It"s not much, mostly rumors." Rumors that may have something to do with her, but that was obvious.
"If it is about a foundling, then why are you so upset about it?" It wasn"t curiosity, nor was it concern. Just a question. And Feiyu likely heard from Yuntong about what had upset her. Perhaps why she chose to be here.
"Because I was one." Even if it had never bothered her, for all her life. It was the biggest secret that many kept, but it was one that didn"t bother her. She was fine. "Everything about this has been strange."
Feiyu held her hands. "Well, if it so then you might have found your family. If not, you"re still the adopted daughter and future proprietress of this establishment."
"If it was, I will lose the freedom to make my own choice." She wondered how she will have responded, if it had been anyone else. Her mother was in a tough spot, and she will not ask this question. Feiyu, had been like her as well, an outlier. "Mother always gave me that, it is a luxury that I have which few others will enjoy."
Few others could say they were able to have a choice in when they were forced to choose and had their life laid out for them with no say in how it will change. She knew that this was the fate of most girls. Poor girls were either sold, or worked from a young age. Rich ones were traded like p.a.w.ns and sold like cattle to families to form bonds.
And she could see how Feiyu chose as well, if she was here. Not exactly beloved, but never miserable. This advice was the same, and the a.n.a.logy too. She didn"t have much to lose, as much as she had plenty to gain.
Clear as she was a talented woman, who didn"t settle for marriage. Whom many thought was the best way to end things, the end that all woman aspired to. With other options such as nunneries being the only option and suitable vocation for a woman. Even then, it needed to have permission from their guardians.
"Think of it this way, they can acknowledge you but you can deny them. They abandoned you as an infant, and if you"re still unsure speak to your mother." Feiyu pa.s.sed her a cup of the water, which she boiled in the early evening and still able to be drunk. And another for herself.
"She has been dodgy about this, if there is any word that will explain her behaviour."
"All the more you should explain things to her, and ask her the questions. I didn"t as a child until it was far too late, and there were few ways to wiggle out of my predicament." Although she was far from certain as to how it will go from there.
"Thank you." She took a deep breath and left. Intending to look for her mother above all else, in hopes of gaining answers to the questions that she needed so much. Down the stairs, avoiding all people. Since she had something that needed to be asked as soon as possible. Something that she doubt could really wait.
Her mother was on the outside, sending the last of her guests away and ready to close. She found her at the end of the day, but just as she was about to do anything. Just by a step, as a servant came.
"We came on behalf of Master to deliver these to you." A letter, that was not in gold. If it was, she will have had to prostrate herself before them. And wait for them to finish and thank the Emperor. However, in all the fine letters it was clear that it had been an invitation.
And for a gift, included a set of clothes finer than anything she has worn. It was made of silk, she knew through feeling because of the time she spent in the market. Having the chance to really feel the cloth, she couldn"t deny it. Her current dress was made from rough silk and it had been a fortune, and was considered a fine gift. This was on a whole new level.
"We need to talk, I know." Her mother acknowledged her suspicions. This had gain the eyes of all diners here, because it was known she had been showered with favours before. But this was not the type of gifts you will give to a servant--without the intentions of making her a mistress. All know that it is highly unlikely she will have agreed to it regardless of the terms.
Neither was her more the sort that will groom a girl for it. She was far too prideful to lower herself to it. And will disgrace herself if any daughter of hers was to. Neither was Chaoyun the sort who will have chosen this as well, for she had known that these women were often not by choice. Some did, but some had to because they were carrying their child. Talent was now a chance to jump, as compared to fortune when they married.
So they wondered just what was the intention. She knew that rumors will fly regardless and they will be inquiring on the man and his relation to her. And what could she do except accept. Not open it in public, but when she returned back to a place where it was safe for her to do so.
Once she accepted it, she ran for her own room. A chance to understand what was going on, and to gain the last knowledge of what she needed to know. She had to know, and she had to figure out just what was happening.
When she entered her office and opened it, it was a letter from the man inside as well. She read it, as he said that she was his daughter and he had been grieving when she was an infant. And gave her away, because he was unable to bear it. As much as superst.i.tion said that she will bring ill luck.
She closed it.
"So, he is my father?" She turned to face the older woman. She gave a nod.
"He wanted to meet with you." She sat down on her table.
"Did you know?"
"Yes. He asked for it, as a request. And that I never tell you that you were adopted." She gave a smile, she returned it back in kind. Both knew that it was pointless and useless to ignore it. Always being something that seemed kind but at the end was not.
"Go and see for yourself. If anything goes wrong, you can always come back. You"re still my daughter after all, I"ll always respect your decisions." She nodded, before she left for the night. It will be soon either way, and if anything was off she could always come back. This was still a place that was open to her.
At least she will have that comfort.