Oh, memory! help me, help me to keep sane just a few more hours--until the end comes. It is a last luxury! I will think of those golden days we spent together ere the blow fell. Ah! how happy we were! Every breath of life was sweet; every moment seemed charged with the delicious happiness! The past, with its haunting shadows, and the memory of that grim, deathly figure huddled up amongst the ferns in the bare pine wood had perished. Background and foreground had vanished in the bewildering joys of the present. Oh! Paul, that was happiness, indeed. All measures of outside things seemed lost! At times I found it hard to recollect in what country we were! Oh! the world, such as ours was, is a sweet, sweet world!
At last the blow fell. He came to me one morning, as white as a sheet, with an old, soiled copy of the Times in his hand.
"Read, Adrea," he cried, thrusting it into my hand. "A horrible thing has happened!"
I let the paper fall through my fingers. An agony of fear was upon me.
"I know! I know! Do not ask me to read it."
"You knew, and you did not tell me!"
"No! I--no!"
There was a deadly swimming before my eyes, and a throbbing in my ears. I sank back, grateful for the unconsciousness which gave me respite, however short. When recovered, I was on the verge of a fever; and Paul, seeing my condition, did not refer to the news which had been such a shock to him. But for an hour the next day he was away from me, writing letters home. When he returned there was a restraint between us. He was kind as ever, but restless and unsettled. As yet he had no suspicion, but I could see that he was longing to get back to England.... The thought was like madness to me.
Then came the beginning of the end. We were staying in a villa which we had rented for a month near Florence, and one day we drove into the city together to do some shopping. Paul was at the post-office, and I was crossing the square to go to him, when of a sudden I felt a hand upon my dress, and a hoa.r.s.e whisper in my ear. I started round in terror. A man, pale and hollow-eyed, stood by my side. It was Gomez!
"Listen quickly!" he said. "I must not stay by your side! You are in danger! The English police are upon your track!"
I caught hold of the railing to prevent myself from falling. Above my head, a little flock of pigeons lazily flapped their wings against the deep blue sky. All around, the sunlit air was full of laughing voices, and gaily dressed crowds of people were pa.s.sing backwards and forwards only a few yards away. Already, one or two were glancing in my direction curiously. In a moment Paul would come out of the post-office, looking for me. I made a great effort, and steadied myself.
"Tell me! What can I do?"
He answered me quickly, keeping his back turned to the stream of people. "You must fly! It may be already too late, but in twenty-four hours you will certainly be arrested if you are in Florence. I have travelled night and day to find you. The holy saints grant that it may not be too late. Call yourself by a strange name; and if Paul de Vaux be with you, see that he alters his also. There are already two of the detectives in Florence searching for you. A third, with a warrant, may be here at any time. Get to the furthest corner of the world, for everything is known. Farewell!"
He left me abruptly; and although I felt that my doom had been spoken, I walked firmly across the square to meet Paul. I would tell him everything. He should be my judge. My love should plead for me! It would triumph; yes! it would triumph! I was convinced of it! As for the danger I was in, I thought less of that.
On the steps of the postoffice I met Paul. He held in his hand a bundle of papers, one of which he had opened, and, as he raised his head and looked at me, I saw that what I had dreaded had come to pa.s.s.
He looked like a man stricken down by some sudden and terrible blow.
He was white even to the lips, and a strange light burned in his eyes.
He laid his hand upon my arm. Was it my fancy, or did he really recoil a little as he touched me? "Let us go home!" he said hoa.r.s.ely. "I have--something to say to you!"
We entered the carriage, which was waiting near, and drove off. We came together into this room. It was barely two hours ago. He closed the door and turned towards me. I did not wait for his question. I told him everything!
Ah me! I had thought that love was a different thing. I had sinned, it is true, but he was not my judge. So I commenced, humbled and sorrowful indeed, but with no fear of what was before me. But gradually, as I watched his face, a cold, ghastly dread crept in upon me. What did it mean--that blank look of horror, his quiet withdrawal from the only caress I attempted? I finished--abruptly--and called out to him piteously,--
"Paul! Paul! Why do you turn away? Oh! kiss me, Paul! It was horrible, but it was to save you!"
He did not answer; he did not hold out his arms, or make any movement towards me. I touched his arm; and oh! horrible! he shuddered. I crept away into a corner of the room, with a strange, burning pain in my heart.
"How long is it, since you saw Gomez?" he asked, and his voice, strained, yet low, seemed to come from a far distance.
"An hour!--perhaps more--I cannot tell!"
He stood before the door like a ghost. "I must go and try to find him!
Forgive me, Adrea! I cannot talk now! I will come back!"
So he left me. I have not seen him since! G.o.d only knows whether I shall see him again! My heart is torn with the agony of it! I cannot bear it any longer! If he is not here in half an hour I shall end it!
He has not come! Ten minutes more!
Five minutes!
It is done; I have taken poison! In half an hour I shall be dead! Oh!
Paul, my love, my love, come to me! If I could only die in your arms, if I could only feel once more your kisses upon my lips! It is horrible to die alone! Already I feel weaker! Oh! if there be a G.o.d in heaven, send me Paul just for one last moment! I do not ask for forgiveness or pardon, only send me Paul! I am afraid to die alone!
Never to see him again! Oh! I shall cry out! Paul! Paul! come to me! I do not ask for heaven, only to die in his arms, to----
There were sounds upon the stairs, and in the hall; the sounds of a man"s quick entrance and approach. Adrea, with that pa.s.sionate prayer still quivering upon her lips, dragged herself to the door and listened. A moment"s agonised apprehension, and then she staggered back, faint with joy. The door was opened, and quickly closed; Paul stood before her.
"Oh! my love! my love," she murmured. "Take me in your arms! It is for the last time!"
He moved to her side, and supported her. "Adrea," he said quietly, "I want you to change your things quickly, and come with me. There is a carriage at the door, and I have chartered a steamer to take us to Genoa. From there we can sail to-morrow for New York. Gomez was right; you are in danger here! Be brave, little woman, and all will be well!"
She clung to him pa.s.sionately, with her arms locked around his neck, and her wet face close to his. Only a confused sense of his words reached her. His tone and his embrace were sufficient.
"And you?"
"I go with you, of course! We shall begin a new life in a new world!
Come! We have no time to lose!"
"A new life in a new world." She repeated the words dreamily, still holding him to her. Then a sudden dizziness came. It pa.s.sed away, but it reminded her that the end could not be far off.
"Adrea, do you not understand? How cold your lips are! Try and bear up, love! We have a long journey before us!"
She shook her head slowly. He began to notice that she was like a dead weight in his arms.
"It is a long journey, love, but I go alone. You cannot come, Paul!
Yet I am not afraid, now that you are here!"
"Adrea! what do you mean? I will not leave you! Have courage! Adrea!
Soon we shall leave all dangers behind us!"
"Paul! do you not understand? I am dying!"
Dying! He looked at her face, calm and even smiling, but terribly blanched and white, and he saw the empty phial upon the table. The whole truth swept in upon him. He staggered and almost fell with her.
"It is best so," she whispered. "I only minded when--I thought that you might not be back in time. I am quite--content now!"
"A doctor!" he cried hoa.r.s.ely. "I must fetch a doctor! Adrea----"
"Please don"t!" she interrupted. "Long before he could come--I should be dead. It is so much better! Did you think, Paul, that I could have you--tied for life--to a poor, hunted woman--forced to live always in a foreign country? Oh! no, no! I have had this poison by me ever since--in case--anything happened. Paul, carry me--to the sofa! There is--no pain--but I am getting weaker--very weak. My eyes are a little dim, too--but I can see you--Paul!"
He obeyed her, and sank on his knees, with his arms still around her.