"To begin with, there were only two: my professor, and he of course doesn"t count, and there was the man I told you about, a solid sort of a person, whom my mother saddled me with."
"No more?"
"I swear it."
"And Chevalier?"
"Chevalier? He? Good gracious, no! You wouldn"t have had me look at him!"
"And the solid sort of person found by your mother, he, too, does not count any more?"
"I a.s.sure you that, with you, I am another woman. It"s the solemn truth that you are the first to possess me. It"s queer, all the same.
Directly I set eyes on you I wanted you. Quite suddenly I felt I must have you. I felt it somehow. What? I should find it very hard to say.
Oh, I didn"t stop to think. With your conventional, stiff, frigid manners, and your appearance, like a curly-haired little wolf, you pleased me, that was all! And now I could not do without you. No, indeed, I couldn"t."
He a.s.sured her that on her surrender he had been deliciously surprised; he said all sorts of pretty, caressing things, all of which had been said before.
Taking his head in her hands, she said:
"You have really the teeth of a wolf. I think it was your teeth that made me want you the first day. Bite me!"
He pressed her to his bosom, and felt her firm supple body respond to his embrace. Suddenly she released herself:
"Don"t you hear the gravel creaking?"
"No."
"Listen: I can hear a sound of footsteps on the path."
Sitting upright, her body bent forward, she strained her ears.
He was disappointed, excited, irritated, and perhaps his self-esteem was slightly hurt.
"What has come over you? It"s absurd."
She cried very sharply:
"Do hold your tongue!"
She was listening intently to a slight sound, near at hand, as of breaking branches.
Suddenly she leapt from the bed with such instinctive agility, with a movement so like the rapid spring of a young animal, that Ligny, although by no means of a literary turn of mind, thought of the cat metamorphosed into a woman.
"Are you crazy? Where are you going?"
Raising a corner of the curtain, she wiped the moisture from the corner of a pane, and peered out through the window. She saw nothing but the night. The noise had ceased altogether.
During this time, Ligny, lying moodily against the wall, was grumbling:
"As you will, but, if you catch a cold, so much the worse for you!"
She glided back into bed. At first he remained somewhat resentful; but she wrapped him about with the delicious freshness of her body.
When they came to themselves they were surprised to see by one of their watches that it was seven o"clock.
Ligny lit the lamp, a paraffin lamp, supported on a column, with a cut-gla.s.s container inside which the wick was curled up like a tape-worm. Felicie was very quick in dressing herself. They had to descend one floor by a wooden staircase, dark and narrow. He went ahead, carrying the lamp, and halted in the pa.s.sage.
"You go out, darling, before I put the lamp out."
She opened the door, and immediately recoiled with a loud shriek. She had seen Chevalier standing on the outer steps, with arms extended, tall, black, erect as a crucifix. His hand grasped a revolver. The glint of the weapon was not perceptible; nevertheless she saw it quite distinctly.
"What"s the matter?" demanded Ligny, who was turning down the wick of the lamp.
"Listen, but don"t come near me!" cried Chevalier in a loud voice. "I forbid you to belong to one another. This is my dying wish. Good-bye, Felicie."
And he slipped the barrel of the revolver into his mouth.
Crouching against the pa.s.sage wall, she closed her eyes. When she reopened them, Chevalier was lying on his side, across the doorway. His eyes were wide open, and he seemed to be gazing at them with a smile. A thread of blood was trickling from his mouth over the flagstones of the porch. A convulsive tremor shook his arm. Then he ceased to move. As he lay there, huddled up; he seemed smaller than usual.
On hearing the report of the revolver, Ligny had hurriedly come forward.
In the darkness of the night he raised the body, and immediately lowering it gently to the ground he attempted to strike matches, which the wind promptly extinguished. At last, by the flare of one of the matches, he saw that the bullet had carried away part of the skull, that the meninges were laid bare over an area as large as the palm of the hand; this area was grey, oozing blood, and very irregular in shape, its outlines reminding Ligny of the map of Africa. He was conscious of a sudden feeling of respect in the presence of this dead man. Placing his hands under the armpits, he dragged Chevalier with the minutest precautions into the room at the side. Leaving him there, he hurried through the house in quest of Felicie, calling to her.
He found her in the bedroom, with her head buried under the bed-clothes of the unmade bed, crying: "Mamma! Mamma!" and repeating prayers.
"Don"t stay here, Felicie."
She went downstairs with him. But, on reaching the hall, she said:
"You know very well that we can"t go out that way."
He showed her out by the kitchen door.
CHAPTER VII
Left alone in the silent house, Robert de Ligny relit the lamp. Serious and even somewhat solemn voices were beginning to speak within him.
Moulded from childhood by the rules of moral responsibility, he now experienced a sensation of painful regret, akin to remorse. Reflecting that he had caused the death of this man, albeit without intending it or knowing it, he did not feel wholly innocent. Shreds of his philosophic and religious training came back to him, disturbing his conscience. The phrases of moralists and preachers, learned at school, which had sunk to the very depths of his memory, suddenly rose in his mind. Its inward voices repeated them to him. They said, quoting some old religious orator: "When we abandon ourselves to irregularities of conduct, even to those regarded as least culpable in the opinion of the world, we render ourselves liable to commit the most reprehensible actions. We perceive, from the most frightful examples, that voluptuousness leads to crime."
These maxims, upon which he had never reflected, suddenly a.s.sumed for him a precise and austere meaning. He thought the matter over seriously.
But since his mind was not deeply religious, and since he was incapable of cherishing exaggerated scruples, he was conscious of only a pa.s.sable degree of edification, which was steadily diminishing. Before long he decided that such scruples were out of place and that they could not possibly apply to the situation. "When we abandon ourselves to irregularities of conduct, even to those regarded as least culpable in the opinion of the world.... We perceive, from the most frightful examples...." These phrases, which only a little while ago had reverberated through his soul like a peal of thunder, he now heard in the snuffling and throaty voices of the professors and priests who had taught them to him, and he found them somewhat ridiculous. By a natural a.s.sociation of ideas he recalled a pa.s.sage from an ancient Roman history--which he had read, when in the second form, during a certain course of study, and which had impressed itself on his mind--a few lines concerning a lady who was convicted of adultery and accused of having set fire to Rome. "So true it is," ran the historian"s comment, "that a person who violates the laws of chast.i.ty is capable of any crime." He smiled inwardly at this recollection, reflecting that the moralists, after all, had queer ideas about life.
The wick, which was charring, gave an insufficient light. He could not manage to snuff it, and it was giving out a horrible stench of paraffin.
Thinking of the author of the pa.s.sage relating to the Roman lady, he said to himself: "Sure enough, it was a queer idea that he got hold of there!"
He felt rea.s.sured as to his innocence. His slight feeling of remorse had entirely evaporated, and he was unable to conceive how he could for a moment have believed himself responsible for Chevalier"s death. Yet the affair troubled him.