A Mummer's Tale

Chapter 19

The celebrated author of _La Nuit du 23 octobre 1812_ appeared in the church, and no sooner had he done so than he was everywhere at one and the same moment--in the nave, under the porch, and in the choir. Like the _Diable boiteux_ he must, bestriding his crutch, have soared above the heads of the congregation, to pa.s.s as he did in the twinkling of an eye from Morlot, the deputy, who, being a freethinker, had remained in the parvis, to Marie-Claire kneeling at the foot of the catafalque.

At one and at the same moment he whispered into the ears of all a few nimble phrases:

"Pradel, can you imagine this fellow going and chucking his part, an excellent part, and running off to kill himself? A pumpkin-headed fool!

Blows out his brains just two days before the first night. Compels us to replace him and sets us back a week. What an imbecile! A rotten bad egg.

But we must do him justice; he could jump, and jump well, the animal.



Well, my dear Romilly, we rehea.r.s.e the new man to-day at two o"clock.

See to it that Regnard has the script of his part, and that he knows how to climb on to the roof. Let us hope he won"t kick the bucket on our hands like Chevalier. What if he, too, were to commit suicide! You needn"t laugh. There"s an evil spell on certain parts. Thus, in my _Marino Falieri_, the gondolier Sandro breaks his arm at the dress rehearsal. I am given another Sandro. He sprains his ankle on the first night. I am given a third, he contracts typhoid fever. My little Nanteuil, I"ll entrust you with a magnificent role to create when you get to the Francais. But I have sworn by the great G.o.ds that I"ll never again have a single play performed in this theatre."

And immediately, under the little door which shuts off the choir on the right hand side of the altar, showing his friends Racine"s epitaph, which is let into the wall, like a Parisian thoroughly conversant with the antiquities of his city, he recalled the history of this stone, he told them how the poet had been buried in accordance with his desire at Port-Royal-des-Champs, at the foot of Monsieur Hamon"s grave, and that, after the destruction of the abbey and the violation of the tombs, the body of Messire Jean Racine, the King"s secretary, Groom of the Chamber, had been transferred, all unhonoured; to Saint-etienne-du-Mont. And he told how the tombstone, bearing the inscription composed for Boileau, beneath the knight"s crest and the shield with its swan argent, and done into Latin by Monsieur Dodart, had served as a flagstone in the choir of the little church of Magny-Lessart; where it had been discovered in 1808.

"There it is," he added. "It was broken in six pieces and the name of Racine was effaced by the shoes of the peasants. The fragments were pieced together and the missing letters carved anew."

On this subject he expatiated with his customary vivacity and diffusiveness, drawing from his prodigious memory a mult.i.tude of curious facts and amusing anecdotes, breathing life into history and endowing archaeology with a living interest. His admiration and his wrath burst forth in swift and violent alternation in the solemnity of the church, and amid the pomp of the ceremony.

"I would give something to know, for instance, who were the stupid bunglers who set this stone in the wall. _Hic jacet n.o.bilis vir Johannes Racine._ It is not true! They make honest Boileau"s epitaph lie. The body of Racine is not in this spot. It was laid to rest in the third chapel on the left, as you enter. What idiots!" Then, suddenly calm, he pointed to Pascal"s tombstone.

"That came here from the museum of the Pet.i.ts-Augustins. No praise can be too great for Lenoir, who, in the days of the Revolution, collected and preserved."

Thereupon, he improvised a second lecture on lapidary archaeology, even more brilliant than the first, transformed the history of Pascal"s life into a terrible yet amusing drama, and vanished. In all, he had remained in the church for the s.p.a.ce of ten minutes.

Over those heads full of worldly cares and profane desires the _Dies irae_ rumbled like a storm:

_"Mors stupebit et natura, Quum resurget creatura Judicanti responsura."_

"Tell me, Dutil, how could that little Nanteuil, who is pretty and intelligent, get herself mixed up with a dirty mummer like Chevalier?"

"Your ignorance of the feminine heart surprises me."

"Hersch.e.l.l was prettier when she was a brunette."

_"Qui Mariam absolvisti Et latronem exaudisti Mihi quoque spem dedisti."_

"I must be off to lunch."

"Do you know anyone who knows the Minister?"

"Durville is a has-been. He blows like a grampus."

"Put me in a little paragraph about Marie Falempin. I can tell you she was simply delicious in _Les Trois Magots_."

_"Inter oves loc.u.m presta Et ab haedis me sequestra, Statuens in parte dextra."_

"So then, it is for Nanteuil"s sake that he blew out his brains? A little ninny who isn"t worth spanking!"

The celebrant poured the wine and the water into the chance, saying:

_"Deus qui humanae substantiae dignitatem mirabiliter condidisu...."_

"Is it really true, doctor, that he killed himself because Nanteuil wouldn"t have any more to do with him?"

"He killed himself," replied Trublet, "because she loved another. The obsession of genetic images frequently determines mania and melancholia."

"You don"t understand second-rate actors, Dr. Socrates," said Pradel. "He killed himself to cause a sensation, and for no other reason."

"It"s not only second-rate actors," said Constantin Marc, "who suffer from an uncontrollable desire to attract attention to themselves at whatever cost. Last year, in the place where I live, Saint-Bartholome, while a threshing-machine was at work, a thirteen-year-old boy shoved his arm into the gear; it was crushed up to the shoulder. The surgeon who amputated it asked him, as he was dressing the stump, why he mutilated himself like that. The boy confessed that it was to draw attention to himself."

Meanwhile, Nanteuil, with dry eyes and pursed lips, had fixed her eyes upon the black cloth with which the catafalque was covered, and was impatiently waiting until enough holy water, candles and Latin prayers should be bestowed upon the dead man for him to depart in peace. She had seen him again the night before, and she thought he had returned because the priests had not yet bidden him to rest in peace. Then, reflecting that one day she, too, would die, and would, like him, be laid in a coffin, beneath a black pall, she shuddered with horror and closed her eyes. The idea of life was so strong within her that she pictured death as a hideous life. Afraid of death, she prayed for a long life. Kneeling, with bowed head, the voluptuous ashen cloud of her buoyant hair falling over her forehead, she, a profane penitent, was reading in her prayer-book words which rea.s.sured her, although she did not understand them.

"Lord Jesus Christ, King of Glory, deliver the souls of all the faithful dead from the pains of h.e.l.l and from the depths of the bottomless pit.

Deliver them from the lion"s jaws. Let them not be plunged into h.e.l.l, and let them not fall into the outer darkness, but suffer that St.

Michael, the Prince of Angels, lead them to the holy light promised by Thee to Abraham and to his posterity."

At the Elevation of the Host the congregation, permeated by a vague impression that the mystery was becoming more sacred, ceased its private conversations, and a.s.sumed a certain appearance of reverent devotion.

And as the organ fell silent all heads were bowed at the tinkling of a little bell which was shaken by a child. Then, after the last Gospel, when, the service being over, the priest, attended by his acolytes, approached the catafalque to the chanting of the _Libera_, a sense of relief was experienced by the crowd, and they began to jostle one another a little in order to file past the coffin. The women, whose piety, grief and contrition were contingent upon their immobility and their kneeling posture, were at once recalled to their customary frame of mind by the movement and the encounters of the procession. They exchanged amongst themselves and with the men remarks relating to their profession.

"Do you know," said Ellen Midi to Falempin, "that Nanteuil is going to join the Comedie-Francaise?"

"It"s not possible!"

"The contract is signed."

"How did she manage it?"

"Not by her acting, you may be sure," replied Ellen, who proceeded to relate a highly scandalous story.

"Take care," said Falempin, "she is just behind you."

"Yes, I see her! She"s got a cheek of her own to show herself here, don"t you think?"

Marie-Claire whispered an extraordinary piece of news into Durville"s ear:

"They say he committed suicide. Well, there"s not a word of truth in it He didn"t commit suicide at all. And the proof of it is that he is being buried with the rites of the Church."

"What then?" inquired Durville.

"Monsieur de Ligny surprised him with Nanteuil and killed him."

"Come, come!"

"I can a.s.sure you that I am accurately informed."

The conversations were becoming animated and familiar.

"So you are here, you wicked old sinner!"

"The box-office receipts are falling off already."

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