CHAPTER XII
On the following day, he took her to a furnished room, commonplace but cheerful, which he had selected on the first floor of a house facing the square, near the Bibliotheque Nationale. In the centre of the square stood the basin of a fountain, supported by l.u.s.ty nymphs. The paths, bordered with laurel and spindlewood, were deserted, and from this little-frequented spot one heard the vast and rea.s.suring hum of the city. The rehearsal had finished very late. When they entered the room the night, already slower to arrive in this season of melting snow, was beginning to cast its gloom over the hangings. The large mirrors of the wardrobe and overmantel were filling with vague lights and shadows. She took off her fur coat, went to look out of the window between the curtains and said:
"Robert, the steps are wet."
He answered that there was no flight of steps, only the pavement and the road, and then another pavement and the railings of the square.
"You are a Parisian, you know this square well. In the centre, among the trees, there is a monumental fountain, with enormous women whose b.r.e.a.s.t.s are not as pretty as yours."
In his impatience he helped her to undo her cloth frock; but he could not find the hooks, and scratched himself with the pins.
"I am clumsy," he said.
She retorted laughingly:
"You are certainly not so clever as Madame Michon! It"s not so much clumsiness, but you are afraid of getting p.r.i.c.ked. Men are a cowardly race. As for women, they have to accustom themselves to suffer. It"s true: to be a woman is to be nearly always ailing."
He did not notice that she was pale, with dark rings round her eyes. He desired her so ardently; he no longer saw her.
"They are very sensitive to pain," he said, "but they are also very sensitive to pleasure. Do you know Claude Bernard?"
"No."
"He was a great scientist. He said that he didn"t hesitate to recognize woman"s supremacy in the domain of physical and moral sensibility."
Nantueil; unhooking her stays, replied:
"If he meant by that that all women are sensitive, he was indeed an old greenhorn. He ought to have seen f.a.gette; he would soon have discovered whether it was easy to get anything out of her in the domain--how did he express it?--of physical and moral sensibility."
And she added with gentle pride:
"Don"t you make any mistake, Robert, there"s not such a heap of women like myself."
As he was drawing her into his arms, she released herself.
"You are hindering me."
Sitting down and doubling herself up in order to undo her boots, she continued.
"Do you know, Dr. Socrates told me the other day that he had seen an apparition. He saw a donkey-boy who had murdered a little girl. I dreamt of the story last night, only in my dream I could not make out whether the donkey-boy was a man or a woman. What a mix-up the dream was!
Talking of Dr. Socrates, just guess whose lover he is--why, the lady who keeps the circulating library in the Rue Mazarine. She is no longer very young, but she is very intelligent. Do you think he is faithful to her?
I"ll take off my stockings, it"s more becoming."
And she went on to tell him a story of the theatre:
"I really don"t think I shall remain at the Odeon much longer."
"Why?"
"You"ll see. Pradel said to me to-day, before rehearsal "My dear little Nanteuil, there has never been anything between us. It is ridiculous."
He was extremely decorous, but he gave me to understand that we were in a false position with regard to one another, which could not go on indefinitely. You must know that Pradel has established a rule. Formerly he used to pick and choose among his _pensionnaires_. He had favourites, and that caused an outcry. Nowadays, for the better administration of the theatre, he takes them all, even those he has no liking for, even those who are distasteful to him. There are no more favourites.
Everything goes splendidly. Ah, he"s a director all through, is Pradel!"
As Robert, in the bed, listened in silence, she went up to him and shook him:
"Then it"s all the same to you if I carry on with Pradel?"
"No, my dear, it would not be all the same to me. But nothing I might say would prevent it."
Bending over him, she caressed him ardently, pretending to threaten and to punish him; and she cried:
"Then you don"t really love me, that you are not jealous. I insist that you shall be jealous."
Then, suddenly, she moved away from him, and hitching over her left shoulder her chemise, which had slipped down under her right breast, she loitered in front of the dressing-table and inquired uneasily:
"Robert, you have not brought anything here from the other room?"
"Nothing."
Thereupon, softly, timidly, she slipped into the bed. But hardly had she lain down when she raised herself from the pillow on her elbow, and, craning her neck, listened with parted lips. It seemed to her that she could hear slight sounds of footsteps along the gravel path which she had heard in the house in the Boulevard de Villiers. She ran to the window; she saw the Judas tree, the lawn, the garden gate. Knowing what she was yet to see, she sought to hide her face in her hands, but she could not raise her arms, and Chevalier"s face rose up before her.
CHAPTER XIII
She had returned home in a burning fever. Robert, after dining _en famille_, had retired to his attic. His nerves were on edge, and he was badly out of temper as a result of the manner in which Nanteuil had left him.
His shirt and his clothes, laid out on the bed by his valet, seemed to be waiting for him in a domestic and obsequious att.i.tude. He began to dress himself with a somewhat ill-tempered alacrity. He was impatient to leave the house. He opened his round window, listened to the murmur of the city, and saw above the roofs the glow which rose into the sky from the city of Paris. He scented from afar all the amorous flesh gathered, on this winter"s night, in the theatres and the great _cabarets_, the cafe-concerts and the bars.
Irritated by Felicie"s denial of his desires, he had decided to satisfy them elsewhere, and as he was not conscious of any preference he believed that his only difficulty would be to make a choice; but he presently realized that he had no desire for any of the women of his acquaintance, nor did he even feel any desire for an unknown woman. He closed his window, and seated himself before the fire.
It was a c.o.ke fire; Madame de Ligny, who wore cloaks costing a thousand pounds, was wont to economize in the matter of her table and her fires.
She would not allow wood to be burned in her house.
He reflected upon his own affairs, to which he had so far given little or no thought; upon the career he had embraced, and which he beheld obscurely before him. The Minister was a great friend of his family. A mountaineer of the Cevennes, brought up on chestnuts, his dazzled eyes blinked at the flower-bedecked tables of Paris. He was too shrewd and too wily not to retain his advantage over the old aristocracy, which welcomed him to its bosom: the advantage of harsh caprices and arrogant refusals. Ligny knew him, and expected no favours at his hands. In this respect he was more perspicacious than his mother, who credited herself with a certain power over the dark, hairy little man, whom every Thursday she engulfed in her majestic skirts on the way from the drawing-room to the dinner-table. He judged him to be disobliging. And then something had gone wrong between them. Robert, as ill luck would have it, had forestalled his Minister in his intimacy with a lady whom the latter loved to the verge of absurdity: Madame de Neuilles, a woman of easy virtue. And it seemed to him that the hairy little man suspected it, and regarded him with an unfriendly eye. And, lastly, the idea had grown upon him at the Quai d"Orsay that Ministers are neither able nor willing to do very much. But he did not exaggerate matters, and thought it quite possible that he might obtain a minor secretaryship. Such had been his wish hitherto. He was most anxious not to leave Paris. His mother, on the contrary, would have preferred that he should be sent to The Hague, where a post as third secretary was vacant. Now, of a sudden, he decided in favour of The Hague. "I"ll go," he said. "The sooner the better." Having made up his mind, he reviewed his reasons. In the first place, it would be an excellent thing for his future career. Again, The Hague post was a pleasant one. A friend of his, who had held it, had enlarged upon the delightful hypocrisy of the sleepy little capital, where everything was engineered and "w.a.n.gled" for the comfort of the Diplomatic Corps. He reflected, also, that The Hague was the august cradle of a new international law, and finally went so far as to invoke the argument that he would be giving pleasure to his mother. After which he realized that he wanted to leave home solely on account of Felicie.
His thoughts of her were not benevolent. He knew her to be mendacious, timorous, and a malicious friend. He had proof that she was given to falling in love with actors of the lowest type, or, at all events, that she made shift with them. He was not certain that she did not deceive him, not that he had discovered anything suspect in the life which she was leading, but because he was properly distrustful of all women. He conjured up in his mind all the evil that he knew of her, and persuaded himself that she was a little jade, and, being conscious that he loved her, he believed that he loved her merely because of her extreme prettiness. This reason seemed to him a sound one; but on a.n.a.lysing it he perceived that it explained nothing; that he loved the girl not because she was exceedingly pretty, but because she was pretty in a certain uncommon fashion of her own; that he loved her for that which was incomparable and rare in her; because, in a word, she was a wonderful thing of art and voluptuousness, a living gem of priceless value. Thereupon, realizing how weak he was, he wept, mourning over his lost freedom, his captive mind, his disordered soul, the devotion of his very flesh and blood to a weak, perfidious little creature.
He had scorched his eyes by gazing at the c.o.ke fire behind the bars of the grate. He closed them in pain and, under his closed eyes, he saw negroes leaping before him in an obscene and b.l.o.o.d.y riot. While he sought to remember from what book of travel, read in boyhood, these blacks emerged, he saw them diminish, resolve themselves into imperceptible specks, and disappear into a red Africa, which little by little came to represent the wound seen by the light of a match on the night of the suicide. He reflected.
"That fool of a Chevalier! Why, I was scarcely thinking of the fellow!"
Suddenly, against this background of blood and flame; appeared the slender form of Felicie, and he felt lurking within him a hot, cruel desire.