By profits from the sale of ladies" bags 1l. 19s. 6d. From Kingstown, Ireland, 1l. By sale of a Report 4d.--Dec. 5. From C. C. 1l. Through the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 3s. 10d. By knitting of the Orphans 8s.
6d. From Glasgow 5s.--Dec. 7. By sale of articles and stockings 3l.
7s, 11d. From one of the labourers 2l. From Thornbury 4s.--Dec. 8.
From a village near Keswick 10s., and by sale of articles 6d. From one of the labourers 10s. From a donor in Ayrshire 2l.--In the evening of Dec. 8th we returned to Bristol from Sunderland. Day by day while we were at Sunderland also, the Orphan-Fund was very low, but G.o.d helped day by day, by sending in the means which have been mentioned; and when we returned there was 1s. 11d, in hand, and 2l. came in that same evening from Plymouth.
Dec. 9. From the neighbourhood of Persh.o.r.e came in this morning most seasonably 5l., as time need for house-keeping expenses today was 4l., and there was only 2l. 1s. 11d, in hand. This 5l. came in about an hour before the 4l. was needed. There was received further today from Bath, anonymously, 10s., and by sale of articles 2s. 6d.--Will you not, dear reader, unite with me in admiring and praising the Lord who so seasonably helped all the time that I was away from the work, engaged in His service in another way! Do you not see how precious it is to have G.o.d to go to, and to find Him ever willing to help those who trust in Him, wherever they be? Do you not also see again the hand of G.o.d so manifestly stretched out on our behalf this day Dec. 9th? 4l. was needed, but only 2l. 1s. 11d, in hand, and, an hour before the 4l. was called for from the Orphan-Houses for house-keeping expenses, the Lord sent that 5l. from Persh.o.r.e.
Dec. 10. Today I received information, in answer to my inquiry, that 10s., which had been sent to me at Sunderland, were intended for the Orphans. These 10s., together with 3l. 14s. 5d. left in hand yesterday, are sufficient for this day, as the need of today is only 3l. 10s. for house-keeping.
Dec. 11. This morning came in 1l. from the neighbourhood of c.o.c.kermouth; thus we had, with the 14s. 5d. left yesterday, 1l. 14s. 5d., which is enough for today.
Dec. 13. Monday. Yesterday I received from C. C. 1l. 10s., from another person 2s., as profit from the sale of ladies" bags 1l., and this morning from Burford 2s. 6d. Thus we have again enough for the house-keeping expenses of today.
Dec. 14. Yesterday we had enough, but nothing over. When there was again nothing at all remaining in my hands, there was yesterday afternoon 1s.
put into a box at my house. In the evening came in by sale of stockings and articles 2l. 6s. 6d., and by a donation 10s--In the evening also a sister from Norwich brought 10s., 2s. 6d., 6d., and 3s. She also brought the following articles, to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans: A bottle of extract of spring flowers, a small box of scent bottles, a smelling bottle, 8 common seals, a thimble case, a box of wafers; a china box containing two rings, a mourning brooch, and a bead watch-guard; a pin-cushion, a pair of little cuffs, and a little box.
Another parcel containing a pair of worked slippers, 2 little bags, 2 books, 2 ap.r.o.ns, a knitted cloth, 3 pin-cushions, a Shetland shawl, and a pair of card-racks. Further: 2 pairs of cuffs and a necktie. Further: a child"s silver rattle, 3 rings, 3 pairs of ear-rings, and 2 necklaces--There was also a parcel sent from Langport, containing two toilette cushions, a pair of worked slippers, 2 fans, 2 children"s caps, some gold lace, a pair of silver clasps, 3 brooches, a silver thimble, a bra.s.s clasp, and some bits of gold. This morning I received a letter from the neighbourhood of Exeter containing a post-office order for 8s. with these words:
"I had hoped to have acc.u.mulated a larger sum in my box for the Orphans, than I have of late been enabled to obtain. I now, however, send it to you, though the amount is small, and should be thankful if it should prove useful for present need, it having been upon my mind for the last day or two that I ought to forward it to you without further delay. I therefore send an order for 8s., &c."
Thus we were supplied for the need of this day. This last 8s. was needed to make up the amount required.
Dec. 15. Yesterday afternoon I received 3l. more, of which 2l. was from Madeira, and 1l. from the brother through whom the 2l. was remitted.
This 3l. was paid away at once, though not needed for house-keeping, so that I had still nothing for the need of today, when this day began.-- My prayer last evening and this morning had been especially, that the Lord would not only be pleased to send me some money for the house-keeping expenses of today, but also enable me to give at least a little money to eight of the sisters who labour in the four Orphan-Houses, who have not had any money for their own personal necessities for several months. This desire was granted to me, for I received this morning a letter from Wakefield with 20l., in which the donor writes: "I hasten to enclose 20l., which I leave to your disposal; but if the varied funds are so situated as to give no material preponderance of need to any one, I should divide it as under, viz. 10l.
to the Orphans, 5l. to yourself and colleague, and 5l. for the Bibles, &c." I took all this 20l. for the Orphans, and have thus the joy of being able to send at least 16l. to those eight sisters, and am also supplied with house-keeping money for today; and as for tomorrow, "my eyes are upon the Lord." The Lord be praised for this precious and seasonable help!
Dec. 16. Yesterday afternoon a brother in the Lord gave 5l. for the Orphans. By this money I was able to defray the expenses of today, and the rest I put away for the rent, so that again we have to look to the Lord for supplies for tomorrow. Yesterday also a person gave half-a-crown to one of the teachers of the Orphans, whilst she was walking out with the children.
Dec. 17. Yesterday afternoon came in 12s. and 5s.--Also a lady and gentleman called at the Girls" Orphan-House No. II. and gave 10s. for a copy of my Narrative. Thus we had a little towards the need of today, but not nearly enough. Before, however, I was called on for money, I received from Worcester 1l. 10s. Thus we were supplied for the need of today.
Dec. 18. Sat.u.r.day. I had reason to believe that our need for house-keeping today would be about 5l., and I therefore waited upon G.o.d for means, and looked out for help. Yesterday afternoon, accordingly, came in by sale of trinkets 1l. 8s. This morning I received from Westmoreland 10l. Also a letter from Edinburgh, containing 15l., with the following lines without name.
"Dear brother in Christ, I enclose ?in the name of Jesus" 15l. 5l.
for dear brother Craik, 5l. for dear brother and sister Muller, for their personal or family expenses, 3l. for the Orphans, and 2l. for the Christian Knowledge Inst.i.tution. May the peace of G.o.d, which pa.s.seth all understanding, keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ our Lord."
There came in also, at the same time, by sale of Reports 10s. Thus I was able to meet all the house-keeping expenses of today, being 4l. 15s.
0d., and the rest I was obliged to put by for the rent and the expenses connected with the apprentices, so that we have yet again to wait upon the Lord for further supplies for next Monday. However, we are brought to the close of another week in this service, and He who has helped us thus far will surely help us further.
Monday, Dec. 20. Only 9s. and a small gold pin and ring from Stowmarket having come in since Sat.u.r.day morning, we had not enough for house-keeping expenses today, which are 2l.; but one of the labourers was able of his own to give 1l. 11s. 0d., to supply the deficiency.
Dec. 21. Yesterday afternoon a brother sent 2l. for the Orphans. In the evening a sister gave 2s, 6d. This morning came in through two Orphan-boxes 14s. 10d.; from Droitwich 10s; and by sale of articles, Reports and stockings 1l. 7s. 9d. Thus we have all that is needed for today, the demand being only 3l. 5s. The rest I put by for rent and the apprentices, and wait upon G.o.d for help for tomorrow.
Dec. 22. Yesterday evening came in by sale of Reports 8d., from Plymouth 1s., and from a sister 5s. Our need also led me to open the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, which contained 15s. 2 d. By sale of articles 2s. 6d.
This was all I was able to send this morning to the Orphan-Houses, waiting upon the Lord for more.
Dec. 23. The need of today was 11l., having several expenses to meet besides those of house-keeping, which amounted to 4l. for today. This sum the Lord gave me thus: last evening I received 1l. together with a pair of trousers and gaiters, and a remnant of fustian for the Orphans.
But as I knew how much there would be needed today, I waited further upon the Lord this morning for help, and, in ONE MINUTE, after I had risen from my knees, I received a letter from Liverpool with 10l. for the Orphans. The donor writes: "I have had the enclosed Ten Pound Note in my drawer for some time, intending to send it to you for the Orphans; but my time is so occupied, that, at a suitable time, when at my desk, I have overlooked it. I now however enclose it," &c,--How seasonable this help! How exactly to the very shilling what is needed today! How remarkable that just now this donor in Liverpool is led to send the Ten Pounds which had been, according to his own words, for some time in his drawer for the purpose of sending it! All this abundantly proves the most minute and particular providence of G.o.d and His readiness to answer the supplications of His children.--I am now looking out again for supplies for tomorrow.
Dec. 24. Last evening came in from Mrs. O. 1l., by knitting 1s. 10d., by sale of stockings 2l. 5s., by four half-sovereigns given to the matrons of the four Orphan-Houses, of which three of them gave their part to the funds, 30s, and by sale of trinkets 1l. 2s. Thus we are supplied till next Monday, i.e. for Christmas day (Sat.u.r.day) and the Lord"s day.
Dec. 27. Monday. Before I was called on for fresh supplies, the Lord, in His great kindness, had given me the means requisite for today. On Christmas Day was brought to me a parcel from Hereford in which I received from A. and Z. 3s., also a little box, a silver vinaigrette., and half-a-crown. Yesterday, Lord"s Day. I received from Kendal 5l.
10s. Also from Stoke Bishop 10s.--Thus I have been again able to meet all the expenses of today.
Dec. 28. Yesterday came in by sale of Reports from Bath 2s. 6d., ditto from Street 1s., by the proceeds of an Orphan-box from Street 3s., and anonymously 5s.?Today I received by sale of articles and stockings 1l.
11s. 8d. As this was not quite enough for the necessities of today, the boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened, and 2l. 1s. 0 d. found in them. Thus we had again more than four pounds for house-keeping to day, and are supplied with all we need.
Dec. 29. Yesterday evening I met at our usual weekly prayer meeting with all the labourers in the Schools and Orphan-Houses, to seek the Lord"s blessing upon the work, and upon the children under our care in particular. Among other points the state of the funds also was a subject for prayer, on account of the great need in every way. For we need money for the schools, as I shall not be able next week to pay to the teachers in the Day Schools their usual weekly salary, except means should come in for them. The stock of tracts and Bibles is also becoming very small.
Also for eleven weeks I have scarcely at all been able to send help to home and foreign labourers. This especially we prayed about. And as to the Orphans, I had again only 9d. in hand for house-keeping expenses, which had come in at the meeting. However, my heart, by G.o.d"s goodness, was at peace, and as I had now with my fellow-labourers been again able to bring all our necessities before the Lord I was looking out for help. After the meeting one of the teachers gave me 1s. 6d. for the Orphans, saying, the Lord will give you more tomorrow morning. This I expected myself; for we were in need for house-keeping expenses for today, and we had been waiting upon G.o.d for means. Accordingly this morning, when I had only 2s. 3d. in hand, I received from Devonshire 15l. for the Orphans.--How good is the Lord! How seasonable again this supply! I had been just again in prayer about the work, and about this day"s necessities, and at the very moment that I rose from my knees this letter was given to me.--There was also another letter from Ess.e.x, containing 1l. 5s. for the Orphans. Thus I was again abundantly supplied for this day, and was able to put by the rest for rent and the expenses connected with the apprentices, trusting in the Lord for fresh supplies for tomorrow.
Dec. 30. When this day began, we were without any thing for the necessities of the day, though I had reason to believe that several pounds would again be required. I was therefore again looking out for fresh supplies. Accordingly, about ten o"clock this morning, a brother in the Lord, who had come last evening to stay for a night in my house, gave me 10l., to be used as it might be most needed. To be noticed in connexion with this donation is: 1, I had, not long since, received a donation from him. 2, This brother had generally stated how he wished his donations to be appropriated, and they had been chiefly for missionary purposes; but this time he left it to me to use this money as most needed, and therefore I could take of it what was needed for the Orphans. 3, We were now extremely poor also with regard to the funds for all the other objects, so that I was obliged to tell the teachers of the Day Schools last Tuesday evening, 28th, that if no fresh supplies came in, I should not be able to give them their weekly salaries, as usual, next Tuesday evening, being now poorer in this particular than I had been for years. How kind therefore of the Lord, not only to give me this money through this brother at this time, but also to dispose his heart to leave the application of it to me as most needed. I took half of it for this day"s housekeeping expenses for the Orphans, and half for the School Fund, for the weekly salaries of the teachers next Tuesday.--I also received further this morning a half-sovereign from Droitwich.-- The little that was left, after the house-keeping expenses were met, was put by for rent and the expenses for the apprentices, and I was again, without a penny, looking out for fresh supplies for tomorrow.
Dec. 31, 1847. The last day of another year had now come. Great and many had been the mercies of G.o.d to me this year in every way, particularly also in connexion with the Orphans; but now I had again nothing for today, except two shillings which are in one of the boxes in my house. I was, however, by G.o.d"s grace, able to look out for supplies for this last day of another year also, being fully a.s.sured that the Lord would not confound me. And thus it has been, according to my expectation; for, before being called on for money, I received 100l., which was left to me to apply to any part of the Lord"s service where there seemed the most need. At the same time I received 5l. for the Orphans from Teignmouth.
Of the 100l. I took half for the Orphans and half for the other objects.
It was indeed a moat seasonable help! I am thus able to meet all the expenses for house-keeping for today, all the present expenses connected with the apprentices, and am able to give 16l. to eight of the sisters who labour in the Orphan-Houses, for their own personal necessities. How good is the Lord! How can I sufficiently praise Him for this seasonable help! ?Evening. Received still further 3s., and from Banbury 17s., and the proceeds of an Orphan-box, being 1l. 2s. 6d. Thus the year closes in blessing and under the manifest help of G.o.d.
Jan. 1, 1848. As the old year ended, so the new begins. Early this morning was sent to me 1l. 12s. 0d., being the proceeds of an Orphan-box.--A little later I received from Worcester 1l., and from Scotland 3l.
Jan. 6. On the second and three following days came in many pounds more; but though so much had been received during the last seven days, I sent again today the last money to the Orphan-Houses for house-keeping, as our expenses have been exceedingly heavy during the last few days; and I am therefore again penniless with regard to the necessities of tomorrow.
? Evening. The Lord has been again exceedingly kind, and has again helped in His faithful love. This evening I received a check for 120l., of which 20l. is intended by the donor for missionary purposes, and the other 100l. is left to my disposal, either for the Orphans or the other part of the work. I took therefore 70l. for the Orphans, and 30l. for the Day Schools, and the circulation of Bibles and Tracts. I received likewise from D.D. 5l.
Jan. 25. Besides the seventy-five pounds that had come in on the 6th, the sum of 53l. 18s. 0 d. more came in up to this day.--Now, after having paid this evening for the house-keeping expenses for one week in advance, all the money in my hands for the Orphans is again gone; yet, by the Lord"s goodness, we have our stores pretty well supplied, and besides this the matrons have the current house-keeping expenses for one week in hand. May the Lord in His faithful love send fresh supplies for the coming week!
Jan. 27. This afternoon when there was nothing in hand, 1 received from Guernsey 2l.
Jan. 28, Received from Plymouth 5l. Also 5s. 6d. from the neighbourhood of Exeter, and 2s. besides. From the neighbourhood of Nottingham 5s.
Jan. 30. By profits from the sale of ladies" baskets 2s.
Jan. 31. One of the labourers in the work gave 10l., and a brother on his way to Ireland 1l.
Feb. 1. By sale of articles and stockings 3l. 19s. 7 d., anonymously 2d., from sister F. 10s., proceeds of an Orphan-box 12s. 6 d., by sale of stockings 8s. 5d., and by the boxes at the Orphan-Houses 16s.
9d.--When I went this evening to the Orphan-Houses for our usual prayer meeting on Tuesday evenings, I found that altogether since last Tuesday evening 25l. 2s. 0 d. had come in; but as there had been many extra expenses to meet during the week, there was only actually in hand 8l. 8s. 4 d. Of this I gave to each of the matrons 2l. 2s. 1d, being only a part of what would be needed during the week, and had then one farthing left, "like the handful of meal in the barrel."
Feb. 2. This morning on my usual walk before breakfast I felt myself led out of my usual track, into a direction in which I had not gone for some months. In stepping over a stile I said to myself: "Perhaps G.o.d has a reason even in this." About five minutes afterwards I met a Christian gentleman who gave me two sovereigns for the Orphans, and then I knew the reason, why I had been led this way. Thus the farthing which remained last evening has been already multiplied.--Evening. This afternoon I received still further from a brother 1l. 1s., also a letter from Portsea containing 1l. 10s. The letter from Portsea contained these words: "Please accept it as another token of the Lord"s watchful care for you and yours." How true! How exemplified in this very donation at this time!
Feb. 3. This morning I received by the first delivery three letters, each containing further supplies. The first, from Sherborne, enclosed a post-office order for 1l. 15s., of which 1l. is for missionary purposes, and 15s. for the Orphans. The second, from Yorkshire, contained two half Five Pound Notes, which 10l. is left to my disposal, yet it is requested that a part of it should go to the dest.i.tute Irish. I put therefore 5l.
to the relief of the Irish, and 5l. to the Orphan Fund. The third letter, from Marlborough, contained 1l. for the Orphans.--Thus I have now all that is needed in the way of house-keeping money for the remainder of this week; but I am now waiting upon G.o.d for about 25l. to provide each of the 32 Orphan Boys above seven years old with a new suit of clothes.
The reader might say, "You are continually in need. No sooner is the one demand met, than another comes. Do you not find it a trying life, and are you not tired of it?" My reply is, It is true I am more or less continually in need in connexion with this work. And if I were to tell out all my heart to the reader concerning it, he would have still more reason to say that I am continually in need. For what I have here written is almost exclusively about the way in which G.o.d has been pleased to supply me with money for carrying on the work; but I do deliberately state that this, much as it might appear to one or the other, is by no means the chief thing that I stand in need of from day to day. I will just hint at a few other things. Sickness among the children, very difficult and tedious cases, in which, notwithstanding all the means which are used month after month, yea year after year, the children remain ill. Nothing remains but either to keep them, or to send them to the Parish Union to which they belong, as they have no relatives able to provide for them. The very fact of having cared for them and watched over them for years, only endears them the more to us, and would make it the more trying to send them back to their parish. This is a "need" which brings me to G.o.d. Here is prayer required, not only for means which such sick children call for, but for guidance and wisdom from on High.--Sometimes children are to be placed out as servants or apprentices. A suitable place is needed, or else they had better remain under our care. The obtaining of this suitable place is a "need" indeed.
It is more difficult to be obtained than money. Sometimes for many weeks have I had to wait upon G.o.d, to have this "need" supplied; but He has always at last helped.--Sometimes great has been my "need" of wisdom and guidance in order to know how certain children ought to be treated under particular circ.u.mstances; and especially how to behave towards certain apprentices or servants who were formerly in the Orphan-Houses.
A "need" in this respect is no small thing; though I have found that in this and in all other matters concerning which I was in "need," I have been helped, provided I was indeed able to wait patiently upon G.o.d. That word, "G.o.dliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come" (1 Tim. iv. 8), I have in times almost without number found to be true in my own experience.
? Further, when one or the other of the labourers needed to leave the work on account of health, or for other reasons, I have been at such times in far greater "need" than when I required money for the various objects of the Inst.i.tution. I could only have such "need" supplied by waiting upon G.o.d. I could do nothing but speak to my heavenly Father about this matter, and He has always helped. One of the greatest difficulties connected with this work is, to obtain suitable G.o.dly persons for it. So many things are to be taken into the account.
Suitable age, health, gift, experience, love for children, true G.o.dliness, a ready mind to serve G.o.d in the work and not themselves, a ready mind to bear with the many trials and difficulties connected with it, a manifest purpose to labour not for the sake of the remuneration, but to serve G.o.d in their work; surely, to obtain G.o.dly persons, in whom these qualifications, even in some measure, are found combined, is not an easy matter. Not that any one will suppose me to mean that I am looking out for perfect fellow-labourers. Not that any one will suppose that my fellow-labourers are referred to by rue, as if they were without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. I am myself far, very far from being without weaknesses, deficiencies, and failings. Moreover, I never expect to find fellow-labourers for this work who have not their weaknesses; but this I do mean to say, that the work of G.o.d in my hands is of that character, and, by G.o.d"s grace, is really carried on with such a true purpose to serve G.o.d thereby (however much I and my fellow-labourers may fail), that it is with me a matter of deep moment to find truly suitable individuals for it, in whom, as much as possible, the above qualifications should be found united. And, however much there may be wanting, this is more and more my aim, that I may obtain such helpers; and hence it can be easily perceived bow great my "need" must be again and again on this very account. I do here especially advise, that if any should apply in future for situations in connexion with this work, they would keep these remarks before them; for, by G.o.d"s grace, it is my purpose never to give to any persons a situation in connexion with the Inst.i.tution, if they are not suitable for it according to the light which G.o.d gives me.--Further, that the labourers work happily together among themselves, and that I go on happily in service with them; that I be their servant, on the one hand, and yet, on the other, maintain the place which G.o.d has given me in this work; surely, if any one carefully looks at this, he will at once see, that there is a difficulty and a "need" far greater than any that is connected with money. Oh, how these matters lead one to call upon G.o.d! How they continually make one sensible of one"s "need!" Truly, I am in need, in continual need. Many more points might be referred to in connexion with this work, in which I am more or less continually in "need;" but I will only mention one it is now many years since I have made my boast in the living G.o.d in so public a manner by my publications. On this account Satan unquestionably is waiting for my halting, and, if left to myself, I should fall a prey to him. Pride, unbelief, or other sins would be my ruin, and lead me to bring a most awful disgrace upon the name of Jesus.
Here is then a "need," a great "need." I do feel myself in "need," in great "need," even to be upheld by G.o.d; for I cannot stand for a moment, if left to myself. Oh, that none of my dear readers might admire me, and be astonished at my faith, and think of me as if I were beyond unbelief! Oh, that none of my dear readers might think, that I could not be puffed up by pride, or in other respects most awfully dishonour G.o.d, and thus at last, though G.o.d has used me in blessing hitherto to so many, become a beacon to the church of Christ! No, I am as weak as ever, and need as much as ever to be upheld as to faith, and every other grace. I am therefore in "need," in great "need;" and therefore help me, dear Christian reader, with your prayers.
I allow, then, moat fully that I am in continual "need." This is the case with regard to money matters, because the work is now so large. A few hundred pounds go but a little way. There have been often weeks, when my demands have been several hundred pounds a week, and it can therefore easily be supposed that even if large donations come in, they do not last long. But whilst I allow this, I desire that the Christian reader may keep in mind that there are other necessities, and even greater ones than those connected with money.--Should, however, the reader say that he thinks "I must find this a very trying life, and that I must be tired of it," I beg to state, that he is entirely mistaken. I do not find the life in connexion with this work a trying life, but a very happy one. It is impossible to describe the abundance of peace and heavenly joy that often has flowed into my soul by means of the fresh answers which I have obtained from G.o.d, after waiting upon Him for help and blessing; and the longer I have had to wait upon Him, or the greater my need was, the greater the enjoyment when at last the answer came, which has often been in a very remarkable way, in order to make the hand of G.o.d the more manifest. I therefore solemnly declare that I do not find this life a trying life, but a very happy one, and I am consequently not in the least tired of it. Straits and difficulties I expected from the very beginning. Before I began this service I expected them; nay, the chief object of it was, that the church at large might be strengthened in faith, and be led more simply, habitually, and unreservedly to trust in the living G.o.d, by seeing His hand stretched out in nay behalf in the hour of need. I did, therefore, expect trials, great trials and straits; but cheerfully, for the glory of G.o.d, and the profit of G.o.d"s dear children, did I desire to pa.s.s through them, if only the saints might be benefited by the dealings of G.o.d with me. The longer I go on in this service, the greater the trials of one kind or another become; but, at the same time, the happier I am in this my service, and the more a.s.sured, that I am engaged as the Lord would have me to be. How then could I be tired of carrying on the work of G.o.d on such principles as I do?
I now return to the extracts from my journal.
Feb. 4, 1848. Yesterday came in still further: from Norwich 1l. and from Devonshire 1l.