March 7. Only 8l. 17s. 9 d. had come in since the 2nd, and the day after tomorrow fresh supplies will need to be given to the matrons for house-keeping, Under these circ.u.mstances I received this morning 150l., of which the donor intends 100l. for labourers in the Lord"s vineyard at home and abroad, and 50l. for other work in my hands. Of this 50l. I took 25l. for the Orphans, and 25l. for the School?Bible?and Tract Fund. Thus we are helped afresh.--There came in besides from C. C.
6s., from a lady 1l., and anonymously 1s. 4d.
March 8. This morning I received still further from Falmouth a bank order for 4l. from a brother "As a thank-offering to the Lord for bringing him safely back to his native land;" 2l. of this amount is for the Orphans, 1l. for Brother Craik, and 1l. for my own personal necessities. Also 10s. from an Orphan-box, and 10s. from a sister.
March 6. By sale of articles and Reports 4l. 13s. 2d., from a poor brother 6d., and through the boxes in my house 1l. 1s. 6d.--This evening, Tuesday, I find that since last Tuesday evening again 44l. 1s. 6 d. has come in. Thus I have the means to meet all the house-keeping expenses during the coming week, and something will be left to put by towards the rent, the current expenses for the apprentices, &c. How good is the Lord in helping us week after week through the heavy expenses, especially in this season of deep distress and dearness of provisions! To His praise I can say, we have lacked nothing all this winter.
Whilst preparing these extracts from my journal for the press, I remember to have heard the following remarks made with reference to the time about which I am just now writing, namely the season of dearth during the winter of 1846-7: "I wonder how it is now with the Orphans?
If Mr. Miller is now able to provide for them as he has, we will say nothing." When I heard such remarks, I said nothing except this: "We lack nothing:" or, "G.o.d helps us." Should this fall into the hands of any who have had such thoughts, let them remember that it is the very time for faith to work, when sight ceases. The greater the difficulties, the easier for faith. As long as there remain certain natural prospects, faith does not get on even as easily (if I may say so), as when all natural prospects fail. It is true that during the time of the dearth our expenses were considerably greater than usual it is also true that many persons, who otherwise might have given, were unable to do so, or had their surplus directed into other channels, such as Ireland, &c.; but the gold and silver are the Lord"s. To Him we made our prayer. In Him we put our trust. And He did not forsake us." For we went as easily through that winter as through any winter since the work had been in existence. Nor could it be otherwise; for G.o.d had at this very time an especial opportunity of showing the blessedness of trusting in Him.
Seek, dear reader, more and more to put your trust in Him for everything, and you will even concerning this life find it most precious so to do.
March 10. I was able, last evening, to meet most comfortably all the expenses for the coming week; yet we had then nothing left, as I put by the rest of the money, that we might not get into debt with regard to the rent, the expenses of the apprentices, &c. When now there was again nothing left for future house-keeping expenses, a Christian lady at a considerable distance informed me by this mornings post, that she has paid into the hands of Messrs. Stuckey and Co. of Bristol, my bankers, the sum of 100l. for my use, for the benefit of the Orphans. By the same post I have received also 10s. from Droitwich. The Lord"s holy name be praised for this seasonable help! I have now all the rent for next quarter day, am able to purchase two pieces of calico which were needed, a fresh supply of rice and soap, and to meet other heavy expenses in the way of certain alterations and improvements to be made in the four houses, about which I had repeatedly asked the Lord.
May 1. From March 10th up to this day came in the sum of 132l. 10s. 5 d. Before the means in hand were expended, the Lord always gave a fresh supply. This evening, Sat.u.r.day May 1st, I gave myself especially to prayer for means, as we were now again very poor, there being no means to meet the house-keeping expenses on next Tuesday evening, when fresh supplies are to be given to the matrons. About half an hour, after I had risen from my knees, I received from a Friend to the Inst.i.tution a letter, containing 10l. Of this sum 8s. 5d. is from twenty poor Orphans under his care, who, having read one of my Reports, desired him to send to the Orphans in Bristol their little donations, each having contributed from 2d. to 8d., 5s. 6d. is from an aged Christian, 10s.
from a servant of the donor, and 8l. 16s. 1d. from himself, to makeup the 10l.
May 2. There came in still further from C. C. 1l., from a Christian lady 10s., from a Christian servant 5s., and anonymously 10s.
May 4. Today was received for articles and Reports 1l. 16s. 1d., and through the boxes at the Orphan-Houses 16s. 8 d. Thus I was able this evening, by what had come in since Sat.u.r.day evening, May 1, to meet the house-keeping expenses of the coming week.
May 11. Another week is gone by. This evening also I have been able to meet all the expenses connected with house-keeping during the coming week, through what has come in since May 4th, but at the same time there is nothing left. Hitherto the children have lacked nothing. Never were provisions nearly so dear since the commencement of the work, as they are now. The bread is almost twice as much as eighteen months ago, the oatmeal nearly three times as much as formerly, the rice more than double the usual price, and no potatoes can be used, on account of their exceeding high price. But though I have now returned from the Orphan-Houses, without any means being left in my hands for further supplies, yet my heart is in peace, in great peace, being sure that the Lord will help.
May 12. The Lord is beginning to help already. This evening I have received 4l. from Scarborough.
May 13. This morning I received 6s. from the neighbourhood of Bideford.
This afternoon was given to me 50l., being left to my disposal, as it might be most needed. Being so exceedingly poor as to means for the Orphans, and having heavy expenses to meet, I put this 50l. to the Orphan-Fund for present use. Thus I am able to order oatmeal from Scotland, which is nearly out, put by money for the rent, pay for medical attendance for the children, &c. How good is the Lord, in helping us so seasonably in this time of great dearness of provisions!
? There came in still further today 5s.--On May 14th from O. 1s., "through walking a short distance instead of riding."--On May 16th from C. C. 13s. 1d. From O. 3s. being "the first fruits of increase of wages." From the Isle of Wight 17s. 9d., from Hayle 2l., from Plymouth 15s.--On May 17th from a Christian lady 5s., from E. A. B. 13s. 6d., and from C. B. 13s. 10 d.--On May 18th by sale of articles and Reports 2l. 6s. 4d. Though thus since last Tuesday evening, May 11th, about 63l. has come in, yet as there have been heavy extra expenses to meet in the course of the week, besides the usual amount required for housekeeping for the coming week, and as I need to put by about 20l. for oatmeal which has been ordered from Scotland, we are again without anything in hand.
May 19. This morning the Lord has again begun to send in a little. I received from Bath 1l., and from a Colonel in the Presidency of Madras 2l.--May 20th. From Worcester 1l., and from a sick little boy 6d.--May 23rd. From C. C. 5l. 2s. 4d. Also a stranger called at the infant Orphan-House, bought books to the amount of 8s. 1d., and gave a sovereign for them.
May 24. By sale of articles came in 3l. 10s. 2d.
May 25. From Shirehampton 2s.
The boxes in the Orphan-Houses contained 1l. 10s 1d. Also an individual from Taunton gave 10s. Lastly there came in by sale of Reports 6d. and from M. W. 6d.--Thus the Lord has again sent in since last Tuesday evening about 161l. This, however, not being nearly enough to meet the house-keeping expenses of the coming week, I could only give a part of what was needed, hoping in G.o.d to give me more, before that which is in the hands of the matrons shall have been spent.
May 26. A lady gave 10s.--May 27th. By sale of books, given for the purpose, came in 1l. 11s. 6d., and through an Orphan-box 8s. 6d. This 2l. 10s. received yesterday and today I sent off to the Orphan-Houses.
May 28. By sale of Reports 1s., the proceeds of an Orphan-box at Street 2s., from Guernsey 1l.?May 29th. The 1l. 3s., which came in yesterday, was enough for today, Sat.u.r.day; for only the addition of 1l. was required to help us till Monday morning, and therefore the Lord had sent 3s. more than was needed. Evening. There has come in this day still further 1l. 9s. 7d. by sale of some little trinkets, almost all of which had been given some time since, and which now our poverty led me to pack up and send out for sale. This money likewise was divided among the matrons.
May 30. Lord"s day morning. I have just now received, in this our great need, when there was not sufficient in hand to meet the necessities of tomorrow, 6l. 6s. from a Christian gentleman of t.i.tle at Zurich in Switzerland, a distance of about one thousand miles. What a most seasonable help! Thus I am able to send all the remainder of the supplies, which are needed till Tuesday evening.
In these days of straitness, the question would naturally arise, If, when you have only to care for 130 Orphans, you are so poor, what will you do when there are 300, for whom you are just on the point of building a house? And further, Is it not an indication not to increase the work, seeing you are now so poor with only about one-third of the number of Orphans which you purpose to receive into the New Orphan-House?--I am not tried, however, with such thoughts; for I know that 1, Only for the trial of my faith, as heretofore the Lord allows me now again to be poor. Never at any time have the expenses been so great for the work, as from May 26, 1846, to May 26, 1847; but also never has so much come in in the same s.p.a.ce of time during any other period of this work. 2, It is for the profit of the church at large, that we have now again to pa.s.s through these days of poverty. 3, I know that it is as easy for the Lord to supply us with all the means that the work will require when once the New Orphan-House is opened, as it is for Him to give us what we need now, though the expenses in all likelihood will then be Two Thousand Five Hundred Pounds a year more than they are at present.
Evening: Received 10s. more anonymously.
June 1. Tuesday, 8l. 9s. 0 d. more has come in since May 30th, of which, however, only 4l. 9s. 7 d. remained for house-keeping expenses, during the coming week. This was all I could leave with the matrons, hoping in G.o.d to send in more before this is gone.
June 2. This morning I received the following anonymous note from Teignmouth, enclosing two halfsovereigns.
"My dear Brother,
I send you with much pleasure the enclosed trifle, to be disposed of as you judge to be best. Also this precious text, "Only believe," once spoken by the lips of our blessed glorified Head, now above.
Ever yours in Him."
Thus the Lord has already sent me a little help towards what may be needed tomorrow. His name be praised! How true that word: "Only believe."--Evening. This afternoon the Lord has shown afresh in my experience the truth of that word: "Only believe." I received a letter containing 40l., of which 10l. are for Brother Craik and myself, 10l.
for Home and Foreign labourers, and 20l. for present use for the Orphans. Thus I am enabled to send the money required for house-keeping for this week, till Tuesday the 8th. Oh, how kind of the Lord to help us again and again!
June 8. There was only about 6l. in hand towards the house-keeping expenses of the coming week, as comparatively little had come in since June 2. In addition to the house-keeping, other expenses needed to be met. Under these circ.u.mstances 50l. was given to me this morning to be laid out as most needed, which I took for the support of the Orphans.
Thus we are again helped for the present moment.
June 17. Only 12l.16s. 0 d. has come in during the last 9 days. After having advanced on the 15th the money for one week"s house-keeping expenses, and paid also 13l. 10s. for apprentices, all our money was again expended, except that which had been put by for rent and oatmeal, which has been ordered. When we were thus once more quite poor, I received today from a Christian gentleman at Edinburgh, whom G.o.d has repeatedly used to help us in times of need, a bank-order for 35l. Of this amount 5l. had been given to him by a lady for the Orphans, 25l.
were from himself for the Orphans, and 5l. he kindly intended for my own personal necessities. Oh, how precious thus continually to see the hand of G.o.d stretched out on our behalf! Will you not, dear reader, taste and see that the Lord is good, and that it is a blessed thing to put our trust in Him? Whatever your position in life, though you may not be called by the Lord to establish Orphan-Houses and Day-Schools for poor children, or to trust in Him for means for circulating Tracts and Copies of His Holy Word; yet all children of G.o.d, whatever their position in the world or in the church, ought to put their trust in G.o.d for every thing connected with their body, their soul, their business, their family, their church position, their service for G.o.d, &c. And it is impossible to do so, without enjoying the blessedness which results from it, even first that peace which keeps the heart and mind like a garrison, and secondly true liberty with regard to circ.u.mstances, times, places and persons.
June 29. Tuesday Evening. Having had nearly 50l. coming in since this day fortnight, I have had the means of meeting all the expenses of these two weeks; but now having paid out what was required for house-keeping for the coming week, all is again gone.
June 30. This morning when, as stated, there was again nothing in hand, I received from Devonshire 20l. for the Orphans.
July 1. This morning I received still further from a Bristol donor 10l., and 5l. from M.R. These three donations of yesterday and today came in most seasonably, not only because they came when there was nothing in hand, but also because the Lord willing, I am on the point of leaving Bristol for a few weeks, and am thus able to leave some money behind.
I was absent from Bristol from July 1st to August 2nd. During this time 133l. 11s. 4 d. was received, and the sums came in so seasonably, that there was not ally difficulty at all experienced with regard to means, because there was always a sufficient amount of money in hand, to furnish the house-keeping expenses each week in advance, besides meeting all other current expenses. At the same time I might say that almost every one of the donations came in most seasonably to help us on, if not from day to day, at least from week to week; and if it were not on account of its taking up too much s.p.a.ce, I should mention every one of the donations which form the total amount referred to, but I shall only refer to the following.
July 13. The proceeds of an Orphan-box from Stafford 4l. 7s. 6d. The friend who sent the money wished to know whether it arrived in a time of need. I have had many similar requests, to which I can reply nothing, or say at the most that the answer may be learnt from the next Report. It will be easily perceived, on reflection, that if I said, it came seasonably, that would imply we had little or nothing at all in hand, and what would that again mean but this, "As our expenses are so great, that which you have now sent will be soon gone again, and therefore send us some more, or get some friend to help us." But by this very thing the chief object of this work, "To show how blessed it is to deal with G.o.d alone, and how blessed to trust in Him in the darkest moments," would be hindered. It is also for this very reason that I do not publish the accounts very frequently, for instance quarterly, as I have been requested to do; but I am delighted to wait a year, or eighteen months, or two years, or more; and even then I do not publish them for the sake of obtaining money (though unquestionably G.o.d has used the Reports as instruments to procure us means), but for the benefit of the Church of G.o.d, to refresh, encourage, exhort, and instruct my brethren in Christ; and also because it is needful that from time to time. I should give a public account of the way in which the considerable sums, with which I have been intrusted, have been spent.
Of the donations which came in between Aug. 2nd and 14th (in amount 51l.
16s. 3 d.), I only refer to the following.--Aug. 9th. A brother, being some time ago, through a particular circ.u.mstance, in danger of losing all his property, dedicated to the Lord 50l., if He would be pleased to help him out of the difficulty. Now today I received from that brother, with his explanation of this, 10l. for the Orphans and 5l.
for my own personal necessities, being a part of that 50l., as the Lord, in answer to prayer, has delivered him out of the danger.
Aug. 14. Sat.u.r.day evening. This evening I found that there was only as much money in hand for present use for the Orphans (i.e. 44l.), as there were liabilities upon me for rent, &c. On this account I gave myself particularly to prayer for means for house-keeping expenses, as on Tuesday evening I shall have to give fresh supplies to the matrons.
About one hour, after I had risen from my knees, two sovereigns were given to me, which a sister had brought from Ilfracombe.
Aug. 15. Today came in further, from Barnstaple. 5s., anonymously 5l., from C. C. 5s. 4d., from a sister in Bristol 1l., from Clifton 4s., and anonymously 2s. 6d. and 3s. 6d.--Thus the Lord has been pleased to give me already, within twenty-four hours, after I had sought more especially His help for means, the sum of 9l. 0s. 4d. My eyes are now looking to Him for more.
Aug. 16. By sale of articles came in 1l. 10s. 10d.
Aug. 17. Tuesday evening. No more having come in, I have not been able to give to the matrons the housekeeping expenses for the whole week; I hope, however, that the Lord will send more before all is expended which I was able to give, and which will last about three or four days.
Aug. 18. This morning I received from Droitwich a half sovereign, and from Yorkshire 3l. Thus the Lord has already given 3l. 10s.--There was also left at my house this afternoon, anonymously, a pair of silver spectacles; and at the Girls" Orphan-House. No. II were left 3 rings, a brooch, and a pair of ear-rings.--There was also given 2s. 6d.
Aug. 21. Today more money was needed for housekeeping; but having receive nothing yesterday, and having sent off what had come in on the 18th, I gave myself to prayer. And now see the precious answer. By the first delivery this morning a letter came from Birmingham, signed W. R., which contained a half-sovereign, of which the anonymous donor wished 7s. 6d. to be used for the Orphans, and 2s. 6d. for Missions. I also received through two Orphan-boxes 7s. 8d. There came also to hand, three small parcels from Plymouth, one of which contained an old silver watch for the benefit of the Orphans, from a blind Orphan; the other contained two shillings and a franc piece; the third a pair of ear-rings, a brooch, a fourpenny piece, half a franc piece, and an old sixpence.-- About half an hour, after I had received these three little parcels, a gentleman, who did not give his name, left at my house two sovereigns and one shilling. About half an hour after that, a lady called and wished to put some money into the box at my house. I do not know her name. But G.o.d knows her, and influenced her in answer to my supplications. May His blessing rest upon her and the unknown gentleman who left the 2l. 1s.! When the box was opened, it contained a paper with half a sovereign. Thus the Lord so kindly in this remarkable manner has helped us in this our time of need, and we have now again all we need for the present.
Evening. Still further help. About two o"clock this afternoon a lady from London, who about a year ago had read the Narrative of the Lord"s dealings with me, in pa.s.sing through Bristol left a sovereign at my house for the Orphans, feeling that she could not go on without doing so.--This evening also I received a letter from Scarborough with five pounds. Also 1l. came in by sale of articles this evening, and 2s. 6d. as a donation.
Aug. 22. I have received still further today from C. C. 2l. 3s. 3d., from Wolverhampton 10s., and from a brother in Bristol 1l. 1s. Thus altogether 14l. 5s. 3d. has come in during these two days.
All, who have spiritual eyes to see, cannot but observe in reading these facts--1st, the reality of dealing with G.o.d Himself directly; 2, the blessedness of trusting in Him; and 3, His most particular providence.
Aug. 23. I prayed still further for means, as I shall need to give a fresh supply to the matrons for house-keeping tomorrow evening, besides meeting other expenses. This afternoon I received from a sister in the Lord a sovereign, half of which she wished me to use for my own temporal necessities, and half for the Orphans. Likewise. 10s. as profits from the sale of ladies" baskets.