? I am continually looking out for help, and am sustained in waiting upon G.o.d, and in being enabled daily, and generally several times every day, to bring the matter about the Building Fund before Him. I know that G.o.d hears me, on the ground of the worthiness of the Lord Jesus, and that at last He will give me the full amount needed for accomplishing this work. How the means are to come, I know not; but I know that G.o.d is almighty, that the hearts of all are in His hands, and that, if He pleaseth to influence persons, they will send help. In this donation of 300l., received this evening, I have seen afresh, how easily G.o.d can send means. The donor, who sent it, was not even known to me by name this day month; but, on Oct. 12th, he sent me 200l. for the Orphans, and now 300l. for the Building Fund. Nothing had come in during the former part of the day; still, I was looking out, and, when I returned from the Orphan-House, found that this 300l. had arrived at my house. But I expect far larger sums.
Nov. 11. From London three boxes and two parcels of books, containing 275 volumes in all, to be sold for the Building Fund.
Nov. 16. 50l.--From the neighbourhood of Stroud 10s.--From one of the former Orphans 10s., being part of her first quarter"s wages. Sent as a token of grat.i.tude.
Nov. 19. 200l., which, being left to my disposal, I took of it 100l. for the Building Fund, 60l. for preachers of the Gospel at Home and Abroad, 20l. for the circulation of the Holy Scriptures, and 20l. for the circulation of Tracts.
Nov. 21. From Malta 5l.
Nov. 27. "From the neighbourhood of Leominster, as a thank-offering,"
2l. Day by day I am waiting upon G.o.d, concerning this object. I firmly believe that the Lord will give me all I require for the accomplishment of it though I am utterly unworthy. I believe that I shall also have large sums, very large sums, when the Lord has been pleased sufficiently to exercise my faith and patience. Today I received 250l., the disposal of which was left to me. I took, therefore, 125l. for the Building Fund, 25l. for current expenses for the Orphans, 40/. for the home and foreign labourers in the Word, whom I seek to a.s.sist, 20l. for gratuitous circulation of the Holy Scriptures among very poor persons, 20l. for gratuitous circulation of Gospel Tracts, and 20l. for all the various Day schools, Sunday schools, and the Adult school, which the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution either a.s.sists or entirely supports.
Nov. 30. During this month, again 25 children, bereaved of both parents by death, lawfully begotten, and in dest.i.tute circ.u.mstances, have been applied for, not one of whom I have any prospect of being able to admit until the Lord shall have been pleased to enable me to build another Orphan-House. The many Orphans waiting for admission, whose number is increasing every month, lead me to continue in earnest supplication, that the Lord would be pleased to furnish me with means for the erection of another Orphan-House. Nor do I doubt that He will help me.
Jan. 3. From the neighbourhood of Stroud 1l. 15s. 3d.--Anonymously in a letter 8d.--From Newtown Limavady 1l.--Also 252l. 17s. 1d., which, being left to my disposal, I portioned out thus: 75l. for the Orphans, 75l. for the School, Bible, Missionary and Tract Fund, and 102l. 17s. 1d. for the Building Fund.
Jan. 4. From London 2s. 6d.--Day by day I have now been waiting upon G.o.d for means for the Building Fund for more than nineteen months, and almost daily I have received something in answer to prayer. These donations have been, for the most part, small, in comparison with the amount which will be required for the completion of this object; nevertheless they have shown that the Lord, for the sake of His dear Son, listens to my supplications and to those of my fellow labourers and helpers in the work; and they have been precious encouragements to me to continue to wait upon G.o.d. I have been for many months a.s.sured that the Lord, in His own time, would give larger sums for this work; and for this I have been more and more earnestly entreating Him, during the last months. Now at last He has abundantly refreshed my spirit, and answered my request. I received today the promise, that, as the joint donation of several Christians, there should be paid to me a donation of Eight Thousand and One Hundred Pounds for the work of the Lord in my hands. Of this sum I purpose to take 6,000l. for the Building Fund, 600l. for the current expenses for the Orphans, and 1,500l. for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution for Home and Abroad. [This joint donation of several Christians was paid in four installments during January, February, March, and April.]
It is impossible to describe the spiritual refreshment which my heart received through this donation. Day by day, for nineteen months, I had been looking out for more abundant help than I had had. I was fully a.s.sured that G.o.d would help me with larger sums; yet the delay was long.
See how precious it is to wait upon G.o.d! See how those who do so, are not confounded! Their faith and patience may long and sharply he tried; but in the end it will most a.s.suredly be seen, that those who honour G.o.d He will honour, and will not suffer them to be put to shame. The largeness of the donation, whilst it exceedingly refreshed my spirit, did not in the least surprise me; for I expect great things from G.o.d. I quote a paragraph from the Twelfth Report, page 27, where under Jan. 4, 1851, this will be found written: "I received this evening the sum of Three Thousand Pounds, being the largest donation which I have had as yet. I have had very many donations of 100l. and of 200l., several of 300l., one of 400l., several of 500l., some of from 600l.
to 900l., four of 1,000l., two of 2,000l., and one of 2,050l., but never had more than this given to me at one time; yet I have expected more than 2,050l. in one donation, and, accordingly, it has pleased the Lord to give me 3,000l. this evening. I now write again that I expect far larger sums still, in order that it may be yet more and more manifest, that there is no happier, no easier, and no better way for obtaining pecuniary means for the work of the Lord, than the one in which I have been led." This, you perceive, dear Reader, was written more than two years ago. Since then I have again received many considerable donations, besides thousands of pounds in smaller sums. And now the largest donation of 3,000l., was surpa.s.sed by the one of 8,100l.
Have I then been boasting in G.o.d in vain? Is it not manifest that it is most precious, in every way, to depend upon G.o.d? Do I serve G.o.d for nought? Is it not obvious that the principles on which I labour, are not only applicable to the work of G.o.d on a small scale, but also, as I have so many times affirmed during the past nineteen years, for the most extensive operations for G.o.d? I delight to dwell upon this, if, by any means, some of my beloved fellow believers might be allured to put their whole trust in G.o.d for every thing; and if, by any means, some unbelievers thereby might be made to see that G.o.d is verily the living G.o.d now as ever, and might be stirred up to seek to be reconciled to Him by putting their trust in the atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ, and thus find in G.o.d a friend for time and eternity.
Feb. 19. Sat.u.r.day Evening. The Lord has been pleased to send in the means as sparingly this month, as He was pleased to send them in abundantly during the last. But this is for the trial of my faith and patience. While, however, these graces are exercised by the Lord, He kindly sustains both. With unshaken confidence and joyful antic.i.p.ation am I, by the help of G.o.d, enabled to go forward day by day, looking on to the day when I shall have the whole amount requisite for this object, just as it was with reference to the building of the New Orphan House on Ashley Down. I know that I shall not be confounded; for I trust in G.o.d, and for the honour of His name proposed the building of this second Orphan House. Yet my soul longs, to be able to declare to the Church of Christ at large, that I have obtained an answer to this my oft repeated request, which again and again, every day, is brought before Him, and in which request my fellow labourers in the work join. Moreover, I long to be able to show to an unbelieving world afresh, by this my pet.i.tion being granted, that verily there is reality in the things of G.o.d. And lastly, I long to be able to commence the building of this second Orphan House, because there are now 438 Orphans waiting for admission. I have not yet received anything today for this object; but the Lord can even now give me something this evening; but be that as it may, I know that, when His time is come, and when my patience has been sufficiently exercised, He will help me abundantly. That word respecting Abraham: "And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise,"
(Hebrew vi, 15), has been repeatedly a precious word to me during the last days, it having come of late in the course of my reading through the New Testament.
Feb. 23. This evening, after another long season of prayer respecting the work of G.o.d in my hands, and especially also, that it might please the Lord to give me soon what I need for the Building Fund, so that I may be enabled to take active steps in the erection of another Orphan House, came in the course of my reading and meditation James I. This forcibly reminded me of the close of November and the beginning of December in 1845, when, whilst labouring for a season in the Word at Sunderland, this portion also came in the course of my meditation on the whole New Testament. James i, 4: "But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing," was then particularly impressed on my mind as a portion which I should need to keep before me. I was at that time, day by day, waiting upon the Lord for means and every other help which might be needed in connexion with the Orphan House, which I had purposed to build in dependence upon the Lord for help. I had not the least doubt that G.o.d would help me through all the difficulties connected with this work. I felt as sure that He would enable me to accomplish this work, as if I had actually seen the house before me, inhabited by Orphans; but I had reason to believe, at the same time, that great and many and varied would be my trials of faith and patience, before all would be accomplished. I had not at that time one single shilling in hand towards this work, but often, even then, whilst staying at Sunderland, and meditating on this first chapter of the Epistle of James, did I praise G.o.d before hand, that He would give me everything I should need in connexion with this intended Orphan House. Now this evening, February 23, 1853, I am writing in that very house, the New Orphan House, with its 300 Orphans, about which I was then praying. Nearly four years it has been already inhabited by Orphans. And I now say again, "Let patience have her perfect work," with reference to the intended Orphan House for 700 more Orphans; but also, at the same time, am I a.s.sured that the Lord will enable me to accomplish this also.
March 14.--From Scotland 200l., of which the donor kindly wished me to give 10l. to Mr. Craik, to take 10l. for my own personal expenses, and to use the 180l. as most needed. I took, therefore, 100l. for the Building Fund, and 80l. for the current expenses for the Orphans. This donation has been a great refreshment to my spirit; for since Jan. 4th only little, comparatively, has come in either for the Building Fund or for the current expenses.
March 29. For nearly three months the Lord has been pleased to exercise my patience by the comparatively small amount of means which has come in. It was more an exercise of patience than of faith; for, during all this time, we not only abounded, with regard to means for the current expenses, through the large sums, which had come in at the beginning of the year, but I had also even now considerable sums in hand, for the current expenses of the various objects. Still, though not actually in need of means, yet my spirit had been enabled to labour on in prayer for means for the Building Fund in particular, and also for means for current expenses, in order that it may become more and more manifest, what a happy, easy, and successful way this is. Now, this evening, when I came home, I found that 300l. had come in. This is a great refreshment to my spirit.--As the amount is left to my disposal as may be most needed, I have taken one half of it for the Building Fund, and the other half for the current expenses for the Orphans. The other objects abound at present with means, and even for the Orphans I have yet above 200l.
in hand.
April 20. Received from a most unexpected quarter 100l., which I took half for the Building Fund, and half for the Orphans, as the other objects were not in immediate need of means. This donation has much refreshed my spirit.
May 14. Received 260l., of which I took 100l. for the Building Fund, and 160l. for the current expenses for the Orphans.
May 26. From Gloucester 5s.--Through the box at the Bible and Tract Warehouse in Park Street, Bristol, 2l. 11s. 10d.--By sale of an old gold watch, a few trinkets, some old silver coins, and some small pieces of broken silver articles, 10l. 7s. 8d.--Also 80l. 15s. 11d., being the proceeds arising from the sale of a work published in English and 2l. 10s., being the proceeds arising from the sale of a work published in French; were given to the Building Fund.--To these sums is to be added 334l. 16s. 9d., received during this period for interest; for I felt it my duty, as has been stated before, to invest the money given to me for the Building Fund until actually required.
Thus closes this period, from May 26, 1852, to May 26, 1853. All the donations received during this period for the Building Fund, together with the 3530l. 9s. 0 d. in hand, on May 26, 1852, made the total of 12,531l. 12s. 0 d. in hand on May 26, 1853.
The following paragraphs were printed in the Report of 1853, respecting the intended Orphan House, which are here reprinted for the better understanding of the subject.
A. Besides having the means to meet all the demands which came upon me in connexion with the various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution for Home and Abroad; and besides enlarging almost all of them considerably, so that the sum of 7035l. 12s. 0 d. altogether was expended; I have been enabled to add, during the past twelvemonth, 9,001l. 3s. to the Building Fund. The total sum, which G.o.d has been pleased to give to me, during the year, both for current expenses and the Building Fund, amounts to 16,042l. 8s. 11d.
B. It is true that very much yet is needed for the Building Fund, before I shall be enabled to accomplish the desire of my heart, in building another House for 700 more Orphans. I may have also yet many trials of faith and patience to pa.s.s through; but what the Lord has done for me during the past 24 years in particular, and all His dealings with me in connexion with the Scriptural Knowledge Inst.i.tution; and all His help afforded for building the New Orphan House on Ashley Down, Bristol, which has been now already inhabited for four years encourage me to continue to wait upon G.o.d. By His grace I am not tired of waiting upon Him for means. Yea, I confess to His praise, that, the longer I live, the more I am practically a.s.sured of the blessedness of waiting upon G.o.d for every thing.
C. There is no decrease as to the application for the admission of Orphans. This, in addition to all the help and support which the Lord has granted to me for these many years in the work, and in addition to the means received for the Building Fund during the past year, encourages me greatly, to continue to wait upon G.o.d for help, to be enabled to build another Orphan House for 700 Orphans. On May 26, 1852, there were 326 Orphans waiting for admission. Since then there have been 184 Orphans applied for, making in all 510. Of these, as only few vacancies have occurred during the past year, not more than 13 could be received into the New Orphan House, and 17 besides, as I have been informed by applicants, were otherwise provided for, so that 30 are to be deducted from 510, which leaves 480 Orphans waiting for admission.
Many of these are very young, some even under one year old. But I have the fullest reason to believe, that many persons are kept from applying for the admission of Orphans, because there are already so many waiting, else the number would be greater still. With such a number of poor dest.i.tute Orphans before me, bereaved of both parents by death, how can I but labour on in prayer for means, for the accomplishment of this object; and I have not the least doubt that, after the Lord may have been pleased to exercise my faith and patience yet somewhat more, unworthy though I am of it, He will condescend to grant the request for the whole amount of the means which are needed for the building of this second Orphan House, in answer to the supplications which my fellow-labourers and myself continually bring before Him.
D. It must not be supposed that I am discouraged, because two years have elapsed since I first began to receive donations towards this object, and as yet only 12,531l. l2s. 0 d. is in hand. I expected trials of faith and patience, both for my own profit, and for the benefit of others, who might hear of the Lord"s dealings with me. I was not without trials, yea, not without many trials of faith and patience, in building the New Orphan House for 300 Orphans; nor did I obtain the means then till after the lapse of two years and three months; therefore, in seeking to build this house for 700 Orphans, I am not surprised that I should have to wait patiently. But of this I have never had a doubt that, after the Lord had sufficiently tried my faith and patience, He would supply me with all I need. I therefore wait His time.
Moreover, the Lord, in a very short time, can give me all I need, it is not necessary that twice or thrice as much time as has already elapsed should have to pa.s.s away, before I am in a position to be warranted to take active measures; yet, be this as it may, by the grace of G.o.d I am content to wait His time.
E. Should it be asked, whether I intend to wait till I have the whole sum of Thirty-Five Thousand Pounds, which will be needed; or whether I purpose to begin the building before; my reply is this I do not purpose to delay the beginning of the building till I have what is required for fitting up and furnishing the house, which is included in that sum; for I may well trust in the Lord for that amount whilst the House is being built; but as I, on Scriptural grounds, neither for my own personal expenses, nor for the work of G.o.d, go into debt, I should not begin building, till I have sufficient to meet the amount of the contracts of the builders, for which, together with the land, I consider not less than 25,000l. would be needed, so that I have just half the amount requisite for that.
Supplies for the School?, Bible?, Missionary and Tract Fund, sent in answer to prayer, from May 26, 1852, to May 26, 1853.
On May 26, 1852, when the accounts were closed, there was left in hand for these objects the balance of 45l. 5s. 7 d. Before this balance was expended, I received, on May 27, 1852, from the neighbourhood of Whitehaven, 2l. 10s. for missions. On May 29, from Belper 5s. 7d. for missions. On May 30, through Bethesda boxes 2s. 6d. and 4d. for missions. On June 7th, I received from Somersetshire. 10l.; and on the same day I found that a Christian bookseller in London had, paid into the hands of my bankers 34l. 14s. 4d., which he had been ordered to pay to me, on behalf of a Christian gentleman, to whom this amount was due.
This sum I took for these objects. But the Lord helped still further.
June 8. 10l. from Y. Z.--June 13. From Y. Z. 33l. 3s. Through Bethesda boxes for missions 1s. Ditto 1s. Through Salem boxes 1s. 8d.
From "P." 1s. Ditto 4d. ?June. 15. From one engaged in the work 1l.
? June 16. From Clifton 4d.--June 18. From W, W. 10l. "for missionary brethren, labouring in dependence upon G.o.d for their temporal supplies." Also 200l. came in, of which I took 60l. for these objects, as stated with reference to this donation, in giving an account of the donations for the Building Fund.--June 22. 500l. came in, as stated under Building Fund, of which one-third or 166l. 13s. 4d. was taken for these objects.
This is just a specimen of how the Lord helped me, week after week, to meet the expenses during this period. About Six Hundred Pounds a month, or above Seven Thousand Pounds during the year, I had to expend for the various objects of the Inst.i.tution; but I had sufficient to meet every demand; and over and above I was helped by the Lord to increase the Building Fund Nine Thousand Pounds above what it was the year before.
The current expenses of the Inst.i.tution were never so great during the previous nineteen years; but the extent of its operations, and the means which the Lord was pleased to send in, were also never so great.
I stated, however, before, that I could not give here in detail an account of every donation. I, therefore, single out a few more instances, to show the manner in which the Lord helped me.
Aug. 4. The funds for these objects were now reduced to about 4l.; but there was much required in order to be able to go on with the circulation of the Holy Scriptures and Tracts, and to a.s.sist missionary brethren; when I received this evening 200l., which was left to me to be applied as seemed best to me. I took therefore one half for the current expenses for the Orphans, and the other half for these objects, and was thus again supplied for the present.
Aug. 14. 20l. for missions from W. W.
Sept. 8. Little, comparatively, has come in since August 4th. Only twenty-seven donations altogether, of which only a few were rather large sums. Therefore all our means were now gone. On the 3rd of this month I sent out 40l. to six brethren who labour in the Word, and would on that day have sent out 35l, more to other six brethren, but had not the means; and, therefore, could only wait upon G.o.d. I also desired to order more Bibles and Tracts; but had to delay this likewise, as I would not go into debt for them. Now this morning I received 280l. 10s. 6d.
[referred to under the Building Fund], of which 86l. 13s. 4d. was taken for these objects. Thus I am helped again for the present, and look for further supplies.
Oct. 9. Only nineteen donations, almost all small, have come in for these objects since September 8th. For the last three days I have especially desired means for these objects. Gladly would I have helped brethren who labour in the Word at home and abroad; but was unable to do so, and could only pray for means. Now this morning the Lord gave me the desire of my-heart in this respect. I received a donation of 230l. 15s., which, being left at my disposal, I took one half for these objects, and the other half for the current expenses for the Orphans.
Nov. 3. "From an Irish friend" 10l. for missions.--I have particularly prayed within the last few days for means for missionary objects, as all means are gone; therefore this donation is very refreshing as an answer to prayer. But I expect more, as I desire to send out shortly 200l. at least to brethren who labour in the Word.
This I wrote, as the date shows, on November 3rd, and that which follows will now show to the Reader, that I did not wait upon G.o.d in vain.
During no period, within the nineteen years previously, was I enabled to do so much in the way of aiding missionary operations, as during this period; and during no previous period so much in the circulation of the Holy Scriptures and Tracts, as during this; yet once or twice all the means for these objects were expended, and I had to stand still and to wait upon G.o.d for further supplies. The servant of Christ, who knows that he is not occupied about his own work, but about that of his master, can, however, be quiet, and ought to be quiet, under such circ.u.mstances, in order to prove that he is only the servant and not the master. If he cannot be quiet, and if, in the restlessness of nature, he will work and take steps when he ought to stand still, and wait upon G.o.d; then let him suspect himself, and let him see well to it, whether the work in which he is engaged is G.o.d"s work or not; and whether, if it be G.o.d"s work, it is done for the honour of the Master or for the honour of the servant. In this case G.o.d abundantly recompensed me for standing still for a little, and for calling upon Him. I had not to wait long, before He was pleased to help me. I now go on with my journal, to show to the Reader how the Lord answered prayer in this instance.
Nov. 5. Received from Okehampton six silver tea spoons, to be sold for foreign missions.
Nov. 6. Received 5l. with the following words: "Enclosed is a Post Office Order, drawn out in your favour by * * * * *, Three Pounds of which my dear husband is constrained to send to you for foreign missions. The other two I send; one for your own personal expenses, and the other to be used for the Orphans, as their need may require, &c."
I have especially prayed, for several days past, for help for brethren who labour in the Word at home and abroad, as I have no means left for them, and could lay out at once 200l. or 300l. on their behalf.
Therefore this donation is particularly precious. But I expect more.
Nov. 7. From Braunton 2l. for missions.--Anonymously 2s. 6d. for missions.
Nov. 10. From some believers at Ludlow 8l. 14s. for foreign missions.
Nov. 11. During the last ten days I have especially asked the Lord for means for home and foreign labourers. This also was particularly dwelt upon at our usual weekly prayer meeting of the labourers in the work on Sat.u.r.day the 6th of November. Now today I received 237l. 10s. for the work of the Lord in my hands. As the application of the money was left to me, I took the whole of this amount for home and foreign labourers in the Word, as they, greatly need help; and I expect by tomorrow evening to have sent out the whole amount.--In the course of my reading through the Holy Scriptures there came today John xvi. 23, "Verily, verily I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, He will give it you." I turned to my Father in heaven and said: "Be pleased, Holy Father, to hear me for the sake of Thy Holy Child Jesus, and give me means for these dear brethren who labour in the word and doctrine, whom I seek to help." In about half an hour afterwards I received this 237l. 10.
Nov. 18. Today were paid to me two legacies, left by a lady at a distance whom I have never seen, and whose name even I had never heard, till I was informed about the payment of the legacies. I received the legacy of 100l. for the Orphans (being 101l. 4s. with the interest due), and 50l. for the various Schools for poor children under my direction (being 50l. 12s. with the interest due.)--In portioning out yesterday the means for the brethren who labour in the Word at home and abroad, to whom I desire to send help, I found that the 237l. 10s. was not enough, and also that I needed more means for the various Schools and the circulation of Bibles and Tracts. On this account the payment of this legacy of 50l. 12s. for the Schools came in very seasonably. But the Lord helped still further this evening by a donation of 60l., the application of which is entirely left to me. I have therefore taken of it 20l. for missionary brethren, 20l. for the circulation of the Holy Scriptures, and 20l. for the circulation of Gospel Tracts.
Nov. 19. From Yorkshire 3l. for foreign missions.--From c.u.mberland 13s. 10d. for missionaries in Demerara?Also 200l., left to my disposal, as I might be directed by the Lord. I took of it 100l. for the Building Fund, 60l. for foreign and home labourers in the Word, 20l. for the circulation of the Holy Scriptures, and 20l. for the circulation of Gospel Tracts.--During the last eight days I had sent out 252l. to home and foreign labourers in the Word, and 65l. I had paid out for the circulation of Tracts and the Holy Scriptures. I desired, however, still further means for brethren who labour in the Word, for I wished to send out at once 70l. more, and also to lay out more on the circulation of the Holy Scriptures and Gospel Tracts; but I had only about 90l.
altogether left for these various objects, when I received today the 3l., the 13s. 10d., and this 200l. The Lord be praised for this help, and may He recompense the donors.