"I will make a fortune, and come to you, and have you. Yes, I will!"
"Papa will never hear of it--never--never! You don"t know him. I do.
He is either bia.s.sed in favour of a thing, or prejudiced against it.
Argument is powerless against either feeling."
"No; I won"t think of him so," said Stephen. "If I appear before him some time hence as a man of established name, he will accept me--I know he will. He is not a wicked man."
"No, he is not wicked. But you say "some time hence," as if it were no time. To you, among bustle and excitement, it will be comparatively a short time, perhaps; oh, to me, it will be its real length trebled!
Every summer will be a year--autumn a year--winter a year! O Stephen!
and you may forget me!"
Forget: that was, and is, the real sting of waiting to fond-hearted woman. The remark awoke in Stephen the converse fear. "You, too, may be persuaded to give me up, when time has made me fainter in your memory.
For, remember, your love for me must be nourished in secret; there will be no long visits from me to support you. Circ.u.mstances will always tend to obliterate me."
"Stephen," she said, filled with her own misgivings, and unheeding his last words, "there are beautiful women where you live--of course I know there are--and they may win you away from me." Her tears came visibly as she drew a mental picture of his faithlessness. "And it won"t be your fault," she continued, looking into the candle with doleful eyes. "No!
You will think that our family don"t want you, and get to include me with them. And there will be a vacancy in your heart, and some others will be let in."
"I could not, I would not. Elfie, do not be so full of forebodings."
"Oh yes, they will," she replied. "And you will look at them, not caring at first, and then you will look and be interested, and after a while you will think, "Ah, they know all about city life, and a.s.semblies, and coteries, and the manners of the t.i.tled, and poor little Elfie, with all the fuss that"s made about her having me, doesn"t know about anything but a little house and a few cliffs and a s.p.a.ce of sea, far away." And then you"ll be more interested in them, and they"ll make you have them instead of me, on purpose to be cruel to me because I am silly, and they are clever and hate me. And I hate them, too; yes, I do!"
Her impulsive words had power to impress him at any rate with the recognition of the uncertainty of all that is not accomplished. And, worse than that general feeling, there of course remained the sadness which arose from the special features of his own case. However remote a desired issue may be, the mere fact of having entered the groove which leads to it, cheers to some extent with a sense of accomplishment. Had Mr. Swancourt consented to an engagement of no less length than ten years, Stephen would have been comparatively cheerful in waiting; they would have felt that they were somewhere on the road to Cupid"s garden.
But, with a possibility of a shorter probation, they had not as yet any prospect of the beginning; the zero of hope had yet to be reached. Mr.
Swancourt would have to revoke his formidable words before the waiting for marriage could even set in. And this was despair.
"I wish we could marry now," murmured Stephen, as an impossible fancy.
"So do I," said she also, as if regarding an idle dream. ""Tis the only thing that ever does sweethearts good!"
"Secretly would do, would it not, Elfie?"
"Yes, secretly would do; secretly would indeed be best," she said, and went on reflectively: "All we want is to render it absolutely impossible for any future circ.u.mstance to upset our future intention of being happy together; not to begin being happy now."
"Exactly," he murmured in a voice and manner the counterpart of hers.
"To marry and part secretly, and live on as we are living now; merely to put it out of anybody"s power to force you away from me, dearest."
"Or you away from me, Stephen."
"Or me from you. It is possible to conceive a force of circ.u.mstance strong enough to make any woman in the world marry against her will: no conceivable pressure, up to torture or starvation, can make a woman once married to her lover anybody else"s wife."
Now up to this point the idea of an immediate secret marriage had been held by both as an untenable hypothesis, wherewith simply to beguile a miserable moment. During a pause which followed Stephen"s last remark, a fascinating perception, then an alluring conviction, flashed along the brain of both. The perception was that an immediate marriage COULD be contrived; the conviction that such an act, in spite of its daring, its fathomless results, its deceptiveness, would be preferred by each to the life they must lead under any other conditions.
The youth spoke first, and his voice trembled with the magnitude of the conception he was cherishing. "How strong we should feel, Elfride!
going on our separate courses as before, without the fear of ultimate separation! O Elfride! think of it; think of it!"
It is certain that the young girl"s love for Stephen received a fanning from her father"s opposition which made it blaze with a dozen times the intensity it would have exhibited if left alone. Never were conditions more favourable for developing a girl"s first pa.s.sing fancy for a handsome boyish face--a fancy rooted in inexperience and nourished by seclusion--into a wild unreflecting pa.s.sion fervid enough for anything.
All the elements of such a development were there, the chief one being hopelessness--a necessary ingredient always to perfect the mixture of feelings united under the name of loving to distraction.
"We would tell papa soon, would we not?" she inquired timidly. "n.o.body else need know. He would then be convinced that hearts cannot be played with; love encouraged be ready to grow, love discouraged be ready to die, at a moment"s notice. Stephen, do you not think that if marriages against a parent"s consent are ever justifiable, they are when young people have been favoured up to a point, as we have, and then have had that favour suddenly withdrawn?"
"Yes. It is not as if we had from the beginning acted in opposition to your papa"s wishes. Only think, Elfie, how pleasant he was towards me but six hours ago! He liked me, praised me, never objected to my being alone with you."
"I believe he MUST like you now," she cried. "And if he found that you irremediably belonged to me, he would own it and help you. "O Stephen, Stephen," she burst out again, as the remembrance of his packing came afresh to her mind, "I cannot bear your going away like this! It is too dreadful. All I have been expecting miserably killed within me like this!"
Stephen flushed hot with impulse. "I will not be a doubt to you--thought of you shall not be a misery to me!" he said. "We will be wife and husband before we part for long!"
She hid her face on his shoulder. "Anything to make SURE!" she whispered.
"I did not like to propose it immediately," continued Stephen. "It seemed to me--it seems to me now--like trying to catch you--a girl better in the world than I."
"Not that, indeed! And am I better in worldly station? What"s the use of have beens? We may have been something once; we are nothing now."
Then they whispered long and earnestly together; Stephen hesitatingly proposing this and that plan, Elfride modifying them, with quick breathings, and hectic flush, and unnaturally bright eyes. It was two o"clock before an arrangement was finally concluded.
She then told him to leave her, giving him his light to go up to his own room. They parted with an agreement not to meet again in the morning.
After his door had been some time closed he heard her softly gliding into her chamber.
Chapter XI
"Journeys end in lovers meeting."
Stephen lay watching the Great Bear; Elfride was regarding a monotonous parallelogram of window blind. Neither slept that night.
Early the next morning--that is to say, four hours after their stolen interview, and just as the earliest servant was heard moving about--Stephen Smith went downstairs, portmanteau in hand. Throughout the night he had intended to see Mr. Swancourt again, but the sharp rebuff of the previous evening rendered such an interview particularly distasteful. Perhaps there was another and less honest reason. He decided to put it off. Whatever of moral timidity or obliquity may have lain in such a decision, no perception of it was strong enough to detain him. He wrote a note in his room, which stated simply that he did not feel happy in the house after Mr. Swancourt"s sudden veto on what he had favoured a few hours before; but that he hoped a time would come, and that soon, when his original feelings of pleasure as Mr. Swancourt"s guest might be recovered.
He expected to find the downstairs rooms wearing the gray and cheerless aspect that early morning gives to everything out of the sun. He found in the dining room a breakfast laid, of which somebody had just partaken.
Stephen gave the maid-servant his note of adieu. She stated that Mr.
Swancourt had risen early that morning, and made an early breakfast. He was not going away that she knew of.
Stephen took a cup of coffee, left the house of his love, and turned into the lane. It was so early that the shaded places still smelt like night time, and the sunny spots had hardly felt the sun. The horizontal rays made every shallow dip in the ground to show as a well-marked hollow. Even the channel of the path was enough to throw shade, and the very stones of the road cast tapering dashes of darkness westward, as long as Jael"s tent-nail.
At a spot not more than a hundred yards from the vicar"s residence the lane leading thence crossed the high road. Stephen reached the point of intersection, stood still and listened. Nothing could be heard save the lengthy, murmuring line of the sea upon the adjacent sh.o.r.e. He looked at his watch, and then mounted a gate upon which he seated himself, to await the arrival of the carrier. Whilst he sat he heard wheels coming in two directions.
The vehicle approaching on his right he soon recognized as the carrier"s. There were the accompanying sounds of the owner"s voice and the smack of his whip, distinct in the still morning air, by which he encouraged his horses up the hill.
The other set of wheels sounded from the lane Stephen had just traversed. On closer observation, he perceived that they were moving from the precincts of the ancient manor-house adjoining the vicarage grounds. A carriage then left the entrance gates of the house, and wheeling round came fully in sight. It was a plain travelling carriage, with a small quant.i.ty of luggage, apparently a lady"s. The vehicle came to the junction of the four ways half-a-minute before the carrier reached the same spot, and crossed directly in his front, proceeding by the lane on the other side.
Inside the carriage Stephen could just discern an elderly lady with a younger woman, who seemed to be her maid. The road they had taken led to Stratleigh, a small watering-place sixteen miles north.
He heard the manor-house gates swing again, and looking up saw another person leaving them, and walking off in the direction of the parsonage.
"Ah, how much I wish I were moving that way!" felt he parenthetically.
The gentleman was tall, and resembled Mr. Swancourt in outline and attire. He opened the vicarage gate and went in. Mr. Swancourt, then, it certainly was. Instead of remaining in bed that morning Mr. Swancourt must have taken it into his head to see his new neighbour off on a journey. He must have been greatly interested in that neighbour to do such an unusual thing.