"Why should it always be up to Brady to pick up your slack?"
"My slack?" Anger fl ashed in Sawyer"s eyes.
"They"re your family. It"s not like you have something else pressing to do. You"re bored, so instead of at least sticking it out until she has the baby, you"re taking off. You"re just being selfi sh."
Sawyer"s expression hardened. "This is family business. I don"t expect you to understand what that"s like."
Stunned, Jori nodded slowly. "You"re right. I don"t understand. Because I"ve never had a real family."
"Jori, that"s not how I meant it."
"Maybe not, but you"re absolutely right. In fact, no one"s ever given a d.a.m.n where I was or what I was doing. So if I were * 87 *
in your place, I wouldn"t be so quick to take what you have for granted."
Seething, and not interested in Sawyer"s response, Jori walked away. She was hurt that Sawyer would use something so personal against her, something she hadn"t shared with anyone else, and went directly to the kitchen, refusing to look back.
If Sawyer wanted to take off, it shouldn"t bother her. After all, Sawyer had just proved how little she thought of her.
"Come on, d.a.m.n it," Sawyer muttered as she inched through traffi c. She slammed her palm against the horn as an oversized SUV cut her off, barely missing her front b.u.mper.
As she drove, Sawyer reviewed her conversations with both Erica and Jori and wondered why she"d made such a mess of things. She was convinced she didn"t want to be a waitress, even if it meant seeing Jori every day, but Jori"s remark about her being selfi sh stung and she"d lashed out, using Jori"s past to hurt her.
Was it selfi sh to want to be in a job that made her happy? Was she always supposed to put everyone else fi rst?
Jori seemed to think if she just stayed on until Erica had the baby, everything would be back to normal. But the truth, as Sawyer saw it, was that things would never be the same for Erica.
Running Drake"s was more than a full-time job; it was seventy-plus hours a week. Add a newborn to that and Erica was facing some major changes. Sawyer couldn"t be expected to set aside her life indefi nitely to help Erica manage hers. Could she?
She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she almost missed the turn into Aces Toyota. Though it probably p.i.s.sed off the guy in the car behind her, she executed a sharp turn into the parking lot and whipped into a spot in front of the dealership.
Matt was rushing through the showroom as she stepped inside and pulled off her sungla.s.ses. When he saw her, he detoured in her direction, skirting a family of four admiring a minivan.
* 88 *
"Lunch. Oh, man, Sawyer, I completely forgot we were having lunch today." He tapped two fi ngers against his temple.
"It was your idea. You said you wanted to talk to me about something." That morning before she"d left to see Erica, he had asked her to meet him later.
"I know, I know. But we"re so busy right now."
Sawyer glanced at several small cl.u.s.ters of people, some of whom it appeared were being helped already, but others looked around expectantly. "Forget it. I"ll catch up with you at home."
"Wait, I"ve got time for a cup of coffee. Come back to the lounge." Without waiting to see if she would follow, Matt headed down a long hallway to the left. They entered a room large enough for a kitchenette and two circular tables. "Sit," he said, indicating one of the tables.
He fi lled two Styrofoam cups, adding cream and sugar to both, and set one in front of her.
"I did want to talk to you about something." He seemed hesitant.
"I"ll see you at home later, if you"re busy."
"Davis is coming over, and I wanted to speak to you privately." He paused as one of his coworkers came in and got a soda from the vending machine. He waited until the man left before he spoke again. "You know that Davis and I are getting serious and-"
He stopped again as a woman entered, went to the coffeemaker, and fi lled a mug. He tapped his fi ngers impatiently on the table as the woman stood with her back to them adding condiments to her drink. Between his tapping and the woman"s spoon clinking against the side of the ceramic mug, Sawyer was losing her patience.
"Whatever it is, Matt, just say it."
"I"m moving out," he blurted.
"Why?" Sawyer sighed, and when she caught the woman at the counter trying to look discreetly over her shoulder at them, she glared at her. She knew Matt wasn"t out at work and imagined * 89 *
that the woman thought she was witnessing a lovers" quarrel.
Caught looking, the woman blushed and rushed out of the room, no doubt to go spread the juicy gossip.
Sawyer returned her attention to a contrite-looking Matt. She"d argued with Erica, then with Jori. She needed her relationship with Matt to stay level, because she was running out of places to turn.
"Davis and I are getting an apartment together."
"You"ve barely been together a month."
He shrugged. "When it"s right, you just know it."
Sawyer had heard him say he"d met the right one before and it never seemed to last. But that didn"t keep him from trying again. He approached relationships with an optimism that Sawyer envied. So, though she didn"t really believe this guy would be any different, she wasn"t in the mood to argue. "No, you should stay there. That place is more yours than mine. I"ll move out."
She wanted to be happy for Matt and Davis. But she"d been living with Matt for years and would miss him terribly. They"d moved in together fresh out of college, and she"d backed him up when he told his father about his career change. He"d been the friend who listened when she lamented her failures and stayed up late talking until she felt better. She knew they"d always be friends, but she couldn"t help worrying that their not living together would change things.
"You were there fi rst and I moved in. Davis and I made this decision, so it"s not fair to expect you to leave."
Sawyer sighed. "Can we talk about this later? It"s been kind of a long day."
"What"s wrong?"
"What isn"t wrong?" Sawyer replied sarcastically. "I quit my job. Erica"s p.i.s.sed at me, and Jori and I argued."
"Wow. You have had a big day. I can guess why you quit your job-"
"Why?"
"How long have you been there?" He stood. "Refi ll?"
* 90 *
She shook her head as he stood and fi lled his own cup. "It"s been almost a month. What"s your point?"
"Well, it"s about time for you to move on, isn"t it?"
Sawyer remained silent. She supposed she hadn"t given anyone any reason to expect any more from her, but she wished just one person had faith in her.
Matt regarded her thoughtfully as he leaned against the counter and stirred his coffee. "So Erica"s p.i.s.sed because you"re leaving her short a server again. But what did you and Jori argue about?"
Sawyer shrugged. "She seemed mad that I was leaving, too.
Erica had just basically accused me of being selfi sh, and I wasn"t in the mood to hear the same thing from her."
"So you fl ew off the handle and now you owe her an apology."
"Close enough."
He glanced at his watch. "Listen, I hate to do this to you, but I really have to get back to work before my sales manager comes looking for me. Can we talk more when I get home?"
"Sure." Sawyer followed him back to the showroom. He waved, then approached the nearest customer as she walked numbly toward the front door.
She"d been spoiled, Sawyer decided as she got into her car.
While she"d been cruising through life, not looking for a b.u.mp in the road, the universe had been conspiring to blindside her. In one day, she"d thrown away her job, admittedly one she didn"t like, but along with it, the chance to see Jori every day. And now her home was facing upheaval as well. Jesus, give me a break.
I"ve never been this dramatic. Immediately she shoved her self-pitying thoughts from her head. She certainly didn"t have things any worse than anyone else.
She started the car and steered out into the street, accelerating quickly as if she could outrun her circuitous thoughts.
* 91 *
"That looks good, Jori." The words came from behind her, spoken softly so they wouldn"t startle her.
"Thank you." She rolled the pipe in her left hand slowly and evenly against the large wooden arm of her bench. With her other hand, she maneuvered the jacks, a tool that resembled cooking tongs, to shape the bulb of gla.s.s clinging to the end of the pipe.
Though the molten gla.s.s had the consistency of stiff taffy, too much pressure could throw off the symmetry. Instead of the traditional vase shape, Jori"s design for this piece resembled an hourgla.s.s. She pressed the jacks against the bulb, gradually narrowing the center.
She was one of four students in the studio, all of whom worked intently on their own piece while their instructor, a willowy blonde, walked among them offering encouragement and advice.
Each of the three furnaces in the room served a different function in the gla.s.sblowing process, and even with the protective outer sh.e.l.ls, their combined heat pushed the temperature in the room over one hundred degrees. Sweat trickled down the back of her neck and under her collar, and she knew her bandana would be damp at her forehead.
Jori put the end of the rod through a small hole in one of the furnaces to soften the gla.s.s, heating it to over two thousand degrees. Then she blew into the mouthpiece in the other end of the pipe, watching the bubble of gla.s.s slowly expand. After returning to her bench she picked up the jacks again.
The meticulous work was a good distraction for her, and she"d been lucky to fi nd a cla.s.s at the Gaines Art Center offered on her day off. Here she had to use an entirely different type of sensory energy than she used in cooking. Gla.s.sblowing required visual and tactile skills.
Despite the concentration required, she still found her mind wandering to Sawyer and the changes at Drake"s. She"d expected the ease between Erica and Brady to return after Sawyer left, but her presence and the tension she had brought along with it * 92 *
lingered. Sawyer"s indifference regarding her family still baffl ed her. She seemed to expect everyone to fall in line with her plans, including Jori and her plan to seduce her in the kitchen. Or rather for Jori to seduce her. She recalled the arrogance with which Sawyer had made that statement. She had seen the expectation of compliance in Sawyer"s eyes, then the jolt of rejection when she"d refused.
"Was this the color you wanted?" The instructor"s voice momentarily silenced her thoughts. She"d fi lled a trough with powdered gla.s.s in preparation for adding color to Jori"s piece.
The fi ne powder was tinted in varying shades of green, and Jori was hoping to achieve a variegated effect.
"That looks perfect. Thank you."
She rolled the vase in the trough until it was evenly coated, then returned it to the furnace. When she removed it, a verdant monochrome shaded the outside.
"That"s lovely. Your best piece yet."
Jori smiled, then resumed expanding the size and shape of her vase. The instructor moved on to check in with another student.
The striations of green stretched as she blew the vase out, and the shades reminded her of the color of Paige"s eyes. Though it was months yet until Christmas, she decided this piece would make the perfect gift for Paige. She thought again about the situation with Sawyer and hoped she would still be working at Drake"s by the time the holidays rolled around. Despite the fact that Sawyer had left the restaurant, she had the uneasy feeling that things weren"t over between them.
Sawyer drove through downtown and dreaded going to Drake"s to return her uniform. In the week since she"d left, she"d put off going back. In fact, she"d put off everything. She still insisted that she would be the one to move out, but after a few * 93 *
halfhearted attempts to fi nd a new place, she hadn"t gotten any closer to leaving.
The freshly laundered vest and tie had lain folded on top of her bureau for several days. This afternoon she was going job hunting and had decided to stop by the restaurant while she was out. She hoped she could see Erica without running into anyone, namely Jori. She hadn"t seen her since they"d argued but had thought about her often.
She parked near the loading dock and slipped through the back door. Immediately turning right, she avoided the kitchen and headed for Erica"s offi ce. But when she got there, it was empty.
"d.a.m.n it," she mumbled. So much for getting out quick. In the hallway she stopped a pa.s.sing busboy. "Do you know where Erica is?"
"She was in the dining room last time I saw her."
Thanking him, Sawyer turned back toward Erica"s offi ce.
She"d just leave the uniform on her desk and call her later. Then she heard a commotion from the kitchen.
"Miss Drake just pa.s.sed out."
Sawyer rushed to the dining room and shoved through the crowd gathered near the corner booth, where she saw Erica lying on the fl oor, Lieutenant Ames crouching nervously next to her.
Brady and Jori had already reached her, but she pushed past them.
"Erica," she said, gently nudging her shoulder. "Erica, wake up, sweetie." The lieutenant radioed a request for an ambulance.
"What happened?" she asked.
"She was standing here talking to us and just collapsed,"
Ames answered.
The moments until Erica"s eyes fl uttered open were the longest of Sawyer"s life, but soon she began to come around.
She moaned and reached for her temple, but Sawyer grabbed her hand.
"I think you hit your head when you fell." She brushed Erica"s hair back from the lump forming at her temple.
* 94 *