"We are ruined," she repeated, "and it is time you should know it."
"But how?" I asked.
"How?" she cried with pa.s.sion, "because we have debts which we cannot meet--we have debts, debts, debts on every side; debts as high as the house itself. Because we deceived our landlord, unintentionally it is true, but nevertheless we deceived him, with promises which we cannot fulfil, he can take back the lease of this house if he pleases, and take it back he will, because our paying guests don"t pay, because the whole thing from first to last is a miserable failure. There, Westenra, that"s about the truth. It was your thought in the first instance, child, and though I don"t want to blame you, for you did it with good meaning, and in utter ignorance, yet nevertheless you must take some of the brunt of this terrible time. I cannot bear the whole weight any longer. I have kept it to myself, and it has driven me nearly mad. Yes, we are ruined."
"You must explain more fully," was my answer.
Her agitation was so great that by its very force it kept me quiet. I had never seen her absolutely without composure before; her usually brisk, confident manner had deserted her.
"You have kept me in the dark," I continued, "and you have done wrong, very wrong. Now please explain how and why we are ruined."
"Here are some of the accounts; understand them if you can," she said.
She opened a drawer and pulled out a great account book. "Now look here," she said, "the house is absolutely full, there is not a single room to be let; I declined four fresh parties only this morning; Emma is perfectly tired opening the door to people who want to come here to board, the house has got a name and a good one. It is said of it that it is in Bloomsbury and yet smacks of the West End. You and your mother and Jim Randolph, bless him! have to answer for that. It"s all your doing, and the people have talked. Everything has been done that could be done to make the place popular, and the place is popular, but now, you look here. Here are the takings"--she pointed to one side of the ledger--"here are the expenses"--she pointed to the other--"expenses so much, takings so much, look at the balance, Westenra. Of course you don"t know much about accounts, but you can see for yourself."
I did look, and I did see, and my heart seemed to stand still, for the balance on the wrong side of the ledger represented many pounds a week.
"Then this means," I said, for I was sharp enough in my way, "that the longer we go on the heavier we get into debt. Every week we lose so much."
"We do, dear, that"s just it."
"But cannot we retrench?"
"Retrench! how? Do you suppose the boarders will do without their comfortable hot coffee, and the other luxuries on the board at breakfast? Do you suppose they will do without their lunch, their afternoon tea with plenty of cakes and plenty of cream, their late dinner, at which appears all the luxuries of the season?--why, the house would be empty in a week. And we cannot have fewer servants, we have only four, very much less than most people would have for an establishment of this kind, and Emma already complains of pains in her legs, and says she is worn out going up and down stairs."
"But the place looks so thriving," I said.
"Looks! what have looks to do with it?" said Jane. "I feel nearly mad, for I always thought I could pull the thing through; but it"s going on at a loss, and nothing can go on at a loss; and then, dear, there are bad debts--one or two people have shuffled off without paying, and there are the furniture bills, they are not all met yet."
"But I thought," I said, "that the seven thousand pounds----"
"Ay," cried Jane, "and that is where the bitterness comes in. That money was supposed to be all right, to be as sure and safe as the Bank of England, and it is not all right, it is all wrong. But that is James Randolph"s story. When he comes back he will explain the rights of it to you, my dear. If I could only hear from him that the money was safe, we could wind up honourably in the autumn and stop the concern; but I have not heard, I have not heard; there has been nothing but silence, and the silence drives me mad. Westenra, what is to be done?"
"Give the whole thing up now," I said, "there is nothing else to be done. We must stop."
"Stop!" answered Jane. "You talk with the ignorance of a young girl.
If we stop now we will have the whole house of cards about our ears; the tradespeople will sue for their money, the bailiffs will be in and will take possession of the furniture, even the very bed your mother sleeps on will be taken from under her. The awful, terrible position is, that we can neither stop nor go on. It is fearful, fearful. Oh, if I could only borrow a thousand pounds within a week, I would not care a farthing. I would not even care if your mother was strong, but to have this crash come about her in her present state of health, why, it would kill her. Westenra, poor child, you are young and unaccustomed to these things, but I must unburden my mind. There is ruin before us; I can scarcely stave it off for another week, and I have not had a line from Mr. Randolph, and I am nearly wild."
"And you think a thousand pounds would keep things going for a little longer," I answered.
"Yes, we could stay on until the end of the season if I could get that money. It would pay the quarter"s rent, and the tradespeople"s bills, and the big furniture bills. And long before it was out Mr.
Randolph must come back and put everything straight. His return is what I am hoping for more than the rising of the sun."
"But oh, Jane, how--how am I to get the thousand pounds?"
"I was thinking that d.u.c.h.ess of yours might lend it."
"No," I said, "I cannot ask her; besides, I know she would not. Though she is a d.u.c.h.ess she has not got a lot of money to spare. The Duke manages everything, and she just has her allowance, and a great deal to do with it. I cannot ask her."
"There is one other way in which ruin could be averted," said Jane slowly, "but that I suppose is not to be thought of. Well, I have told you, and I suppose it is a sort of relief. Things may go on as they are for another week or two, but that"s about all."
I felt that I trembled, but I would not let Jane see.
"You have been very brave. You have ruined yourself for our sakes," I cried impulsively. But at the same time I could not help adding, "That friend of yours who promised you seven thousand pounds ought not to have failed you at a critical moment like the present."
"I won"t have him blamed," said Jane, her face turning crimson; "it is not his fault. Man could not do more."
"Jane," I said, facing her, "tell me the truth now; what is the name of your friend?"
"You won"t get his name out of me," answered Jane. "Mr. Randolph has gone to Australia to put things straight with him. When I hear from Mr. James Randolph all will be well."
"Have you never heard since he left?"
"Twice during the voyage, but not since. It is wonderful why he is so silent. There, I seem to have lost hope."
"Jane," I cried, "why don"t you give us up and go back to your own little house?"
"Bless you, child, I"m not the one to leave a sinking ship. Oh, we"ll go on a little bit longer, and it has cheered me a little to confide in you. I will work the ship for another week or so, and there will be an extra nice dinner to-night, and spring asparagus, real English grown, and your mother shall have the greater portion of it. Oh dear, oh dear, if the house were twice its size we _might_ make it pay, but as it is it"s too big and it"s too small; it"s one of the betwixt-and-betweens, and betwixt-and-between things _never_ do, never, never. Child, forgive me, I am sorry to add to your cares. If it were not for your mother I should not mind a bit."
I could do nothing to comfort Jane. I went up to her and kissed her, and held her hand for a moment, and then went slowly away to my own room. I did not attempt to shed a tear, I was not going to cry just then, it behoved me to be very brave; there was a great deal to be borne, and if I gave way it seemed to me that everything must come to an end. I felt some pride in my young strength and my courage, and was resolved that they should not fail me in my hour of need. So I put away the new hat and pretty jacket and went down to mother, and I amused mother by showing her the lace I had bought, and I told her all about the d.u.c.h.ess, and mother was much pleased at the thought of seeing her old friend on the following morning, and she and I sat that afternoon in the drawing-room making up the pretty lace fichu, and I resolved that mother should wear it the next day when the d.u.c.h.ess came.
There was the most awful trouble hanging over us all; my mother"s days on earth were numbered, and my scheme, my lovely castle in the air, was falling to ruins about my head. But all the same mother and I laughed and were cheerful, and the visitors who came into the drawing-room that afternoon thought what a picturesque group mother and I made, and what a lovely room it was, and how much superior to most boarding-houses; and they inquired, more than one of them, when there would be a vacancy, and said they would write to Miss Mullins on the subject. Poor Jane Mullins! she was bearing the brunt of the storm. I pitied her from the depths of my heart.
CHAPTER XXI
MR. PATTENS
The next day the d.u.c.h.ess called, and mother was looking so well for her, and so pleased to see her old friend again, that I do not think at first the d.u.c.h.ess of Wilmot half realised how ill she was. I just saw her for a moment, and then went out. I came back again at the end of an hour. Mother"s cheeks were quite bright, and her eyes shining, and her hand was in the d.u.c.h.ess"s hand, and when she looked at me her eyes grew brighter than ever, and she said to me--
"Come here, darling," and she raised her dear lips for me to kiss her.
I did kiss those lips, and I thought them too hot, and I said to the d.u.c.h.ess--
"You are tiring mother, you have stayed with her long enough."
"Oh no, let her stay; I do love so much to see her," said my mother, so I could not have the heart to say any more, and I went away to a distant part of the room, and they began whispering again just like the dearest friends which they really were, and at last the d.u.c.h.ess came up to me and said--
"Come downstairs with, me, West."
I went with her, and wondered why she called me by mother"s pet name, but I loved her very much.
"Tell me the truth about your mother," said the d.u.c.h.ess as soon as we got into the hall. "At first I thought her fairly well, but she is feverish, quite feverish now. Have I overtired her?"
"I cannot tell you anything except that she is not strong," I said; "that you have come so seldom to see her, that you have over-excited her now. Oh, I cannot wait, I must go back to her."