He kissed her hand when he went away, doing it awkwardly and self-consciously, but withal reverently. She wondered, rather dully, why she could not love Pink. A woman would be so safe with him, so sure.
She had not even then gathered the full force of what he had told her.
But little by little things came back to her; the man on guard in the garden; the incident of the locked kitchen door; Jim Doyle once talking angrily over a telephone in his study, although no telephone, so far as she knew, was installed in the room; his recent mysterious absences, and the increasing visits of the hateful Woslosky.
She went back to Louis. This was what he had meant. He had known all along, and plotted with them; even if his stomach had turned now, he had been a party to this infamy. Even then she did not hate him; she saw him, misled as she had been by Doyle"s high-sounding phrases, lured on by one of those wild dreams of empire to which men were sometimes given.
She did not love him any more; she was sorry for him.
She saw her position with the utmost clearness. To go home was to abandon him, to lose him for those who needed what he could give, to send him back to the enemy. She had told Pink she could secure an ally for a price, and she was the price. There was not an ounce of melodrama in her, as she stood facing the situation. She considered, quite simply, that she had a.s.sumed an obligation which she must carry out. Perhaps her pride was dictating to her also. To go crawling home, bowed to the dust, to admit that life had beaten her, to face old Anthony"s sneers and her mother"s pity--that was hard for any Cardew.
She remembered Elinor"s home-comings of years ago, the strained air of the household, the whispering servants, and Elinor herself shut away, or making her rare, almost furtive visits downstairs when her father was out of the house.
No, she could not face that.
Her own willfulness had brought her to this pa.s.s; she faced that uncompromisingly. She would marry Louis, and hold him to his promise, and so perhaps out of all this misery some good would come. But at the thought of marriage she found herself trembling violently. With no love and no real respect to build on, with an intuitive knowledge of the man"s primitive violences, the reluctance toward marriage with him which she had always felt crystallized into something very close to dread.
But a few minutes later she went upstairs, quite steady again, and fully determined. At Elinor"s door she tapped lightly, and she heard movements within. Then Elinor opened the door wide. She had been lying on her bed, and automatically after closing the door she began to smooth it. Lily felt a wave of intense pity for her.
"I wish you would go away from here, Aunt Elinor," she said.
Elinor glanced up, without surprise.
"Where could I go?"
"If you left him definitely, you could go home."
Elinor shook her head, dumbly, and her pa.s.sivity drove Lily suddenly to desperation.
"You know what is going on," she said, her voice strained. "You don"t believe it is right; you know it is wicked. Clothe it in all the fine language in the world, Aunt Elinor, and it is still wicked. If you stay here you condone it. I won"t. I am going away."
"I wish you had never come, Lily."
"It"s too late for that," Lily said, stonily. "But it is not too late for you to get away."
"I shall stay," Elinor said, with an air of finality. But Lily made one more effort.
"He is killing you."
"No, he is killing himself." Suddenly Elinor flared into a pa.s.sionate outburst. "Don"t you think I know where all this is leading? Do you believe for a moment that I think all this can lead to anything but death? It is a madness, Lily; they are all mad, these men. Don"t you know that I have talked and argued and prayed, against it?"
"Then come away. You have done all you could, and you have failed, haven"t you?"
"It is not time for me to go," Elinor said. And Lily, puzzled and baffled, found herself again looking into Elinor"s quiet, inscrutable eyes.
Elinor had taken it for granted that the girl was going home, and together they packed almost in silence. Once Elinor looked up from folding a garment, and said:
"You said you had not understood before, but that now you do. What did you mean?"
"Pink Denslow was here."
"What does he know?"
"Do you think I ought to tell you, Aunt Elinor? It isn"t that I don"t trust you. You must believe that, but don"t you see that so long as you stay here--he said that to me--you are one of them."
Elinor resumed her folding.
"Yes, I suppose I am one of them," she said quietly. "And you are right.
You must not tell me anything. Pink is Henry Denslow"s son, I suppose."
"Yes."
"Do they--still live in the old house?"
"Yes."
Elinor continued her methodical work.
CHAPTER XXVIII
w.i.l.l.y Cameron was free that evening. Although he had not slept at all the night before, he felt singularly awake and active. The Committee had made temporary quarters of his small back room at the pharmacy, and there had sat in rather depressed conclave during a part of the afternoon. Pink Denslow had come in late, and had remained, silent and haggard, through the debate.
There was nothing to do but to start again in an attempt to get files and card indexes. Greater secrecy was to be preserved and enjoined, the location of the office to be known only to a small inner circle, and careful policing of it and of the building which housed it to be established. As a further safeguard, two duplicate files would be kept in other places. The Committee groaned over its own underestimate of the knowledge of the radicals.
The two buildings chosen for destruction were, respectively, the bank building where their file was kept, and the club, where nine-tenths of the officers of the Committee were members. The significance of the double outrage was unquestionable.
When the meeting broke up Pink remained behind. He found it rather difficult to broach the matter in his mind. It was always hard for him to talk about Lily Cardew, and lately he had had a growing conviction that w.i.l.l.y Cameron found it equally difficult. He wondered if Cameron, too, was in love with Lily. There had been a queer look in his face on those rare occasions when Pink had mentioned her, a sort of exaltation, and an odd difficulty afterwards in getting back to the subject in hand.
Pink had developed an enormous affection and admiration for w.i.l.l.y Cameron, a strange, loyal, half wistful, totally unselfish devotion. It had steadied him, when the loss of Lily might have made him reckless, and had taken the form in recent weeks of finding innumerable business opportunities, which w.i.l.l.y Cameron cheerfully refused to take.
"I"ll stay here until this other thing is settled," was w.i.l.l.y"s invariable answer. "I have a certain amount of time here, and the fellows can drop in to see me without causing suspicion. In an office it would be different. And besides, I can"t throw Mr. Davis down. His wife is in bad shape."
So, that afternoon, Pink waited until the Committee had dispersed, and then said, with some difficulty:
"I saw her, Cameron. She has promised to leave."
"To-day?"
"This afternoon. I wanted to take her away, but she had some things to do."
"Then she hadn"t known before?"
"No. She thought it was just talk. And they"d kept the papers from her.
She hadn"t heard about last night. Well, that"s all. I thought you"d want to know."
Pink started out, but w.i.l.l.y Cameron called him back.