But he seemed to understand because his grin altered to a real smile. "And you look beautiful. But you always did."
Rhis clasped her hands. "I"m sorry about the stone, and all that."
Lios waved a hand. "Don"t let us waste our time with *sorry," especially when I have more to apologize for." He laughed softly, then his smile faded. "The others are getting ready for the party in your honor tonight. I wish I could be there, but Mother wants me on the road to Eskanda."
"The horses are waiting," the queen said, as she cracked a nut.
Rhis kept her back to the queen. If she didn"t see her, she could pretend she wasn"t there. "I wish you could stay. I wish . . . " She became aware that she was wasting what little time they had, bemoaning what wasn"t going to change. "I want you to know that I will think of you every single day."
"And I you." Now he looked unhappy. "Oh, Rhis. Here"s what I feel worst about. We just began to talk, with me being me, because you were already you. Does that make sense?" He made a comical face. "Don"t answer that. It doesn"t even make sense in my own head."
"But I loved our conversations." She tried to smile, though her throat hurt. "Even when I was maddest, I couldn"t help thinking them over, trying to remember every word. And wishing every one of our talks had been longer."
"They will be," he promised. "One day. Oh! Yuzhyu wants you to know that she is glad you recovered, and she invites you to visit Ndai some day. The others all said the same. Except Iardith. I"m afraid what she said isn"t the sort of thing I want to pa.s.s along." There was a flash of the rueful grin. "Most of it was aimed at me, not at you."
"She"s probably saving my share for tonight. Well, I did get in her way. I hope she finds her crown prince," Rhis said firmly. Though I"m not sure that"s such a nice wish for the prince.
Lios took both Rhis"s hands. She gripped his fingers, so warm, rough with calluses from hard work. She squeezed her eyes shut so she could memorize the feel of his hands on hers, the sound of his breathing. Then she opened her eyes to memorize his dear face, but she discovered her vision blurred with tears.
A step, a shift, and soft lips kissed her tears away. She flung one arm around his neck. Their noses b.u.mped, her other elbow knocked into his arm, but then their lips meta"
"AHEM!" The queen coughed loudly.
Once again they sprang apart.
"Your entourage is waiting, my boy," the queen said gruffly. "Say your good-byes."
Lios took Rhis"s hand and kissed it quickly, then whispered, "Fare you well."
"And you," Rhis managed.
Lios bowed to his mother, turned, and in a couple of quick steps was gone.
Rhis curtseyed to the queen in Elda"s most approved style, though she couldn"t prevent her lips from trembling. Dignity and poise! She made it to the door. She made it outside the room. She made it to the hallway before the tears came.
"Come, sweeting," Sidal murmured. "Let"s go home."
Demo version limitation
EPILOGUE.
"It is such a relief to be able to talk without spies," Shera exclaimed as she climbed into Rhis"s carriage, plumped down onto the opposite cushioned bench, and disposed her skirts prettily. Then she started fussing with her hair and her little travel bag.
Rhis gestured to the waiting escort-commander, and her cavalcade began to move. Rhis had thought that a troop of tough Mountain Riders as well as two carriages worth of servants, and another carrying baggage, were far more than a princess of little Nym needed to attend a friend"s wedding, but her father had said, "No, no, you"ll go as we see fit. You"re not just a princess of Nym any more."
And her mother had agreed.
Rhis knew what was meant. And even though she was twenty-one years old, had traveled to the imperial court, had danced with three kings, had shared spiced ice with an emperor-elect, had talked with one of the Snow Folk in a language not native to either of them, she still blushed whenever anyone made reference to Lios. She"d begun to wonder during the last year if the blushes had just plain become a habit.
"He might not like me," she exclaimed, exasperated. "Or I him. I mean, we might like one another fine, but feel like brother and sister, ora"or he"ll like me but he"s fallen in love with someone else."
"Have you fallen in love with someone else?" her mother had asked.
Rhis had certainly been attracted to others. Especially to the emperor-elect, but she"d recognized early on that that was because he reminded her so much of Lios. Only he was a mage journeyman, not a scribe. But he"d had the same serious air that would change all of a sudden into a sense of fun. And he"d had the same regard for people, seeing them just as people, not as representatives of rank.
"No," she said finally. "But we all know that what one feels doesn"t guarantee what the other will feel."
"Nevertheless," her father said. "Everyone in our corner of the world thinks of you as the next queen of Vesarja. Whether or not that is true, you may as well have the entourage of a queen, because you will be treated like one."
"That means the flatterers and falsity," Elda put in, for this discussion was at the family dinner.
"You must remember that you"ll be hearing what they think you want to hear. If you believe any of it, that"s at your own peril." That was Princess Shera, now turned sixteen, speaking with such an air of importance that Rhis smothered a laugh.
Elda nodded approvingly. "Well said, my dear. Well said."
Of course. Because that"s what you have said, Rhis thought, but kept her peace.
Her reverie was interrupted when Shera flung herself back against the cushions with a loud sigh. "It"s so good to get out of Gensam again!"
"I thought you got back together with Rastian again," Rhis exclaimed.
"Sort of." Shera shrugged her pretty, rounded shoulders. The new style was for wide, rounded necklines, tight bodices, and tulip-shaped skirts which looked wonderful on her. "Four times, all told." She grinned, dimples flashing in her cheeks. "But last night, when he said he wanted to sneak along as a guard just to keep an eye on me, we had a big fight. I told him he could go guard a tree or a rock, something that had the patience to listen."
Rhis said with sympathy, "I"m sorry he wasn"t invited."
"I"m not. He only wanted to come so he could glower at anyone I might flirt with. Will flirt with," Shera corrected in a fair-minded tone. "I can"t help it. I love to flirt. I love romance. Papa took me aside last year and told me that I"m a lot like his side of the familya"more in love with the idea of falling in love than with a person. And though Rastian and I are friendsa"mostlya"I don"t want to marry him . . ." She fluttered her hands. "I still want romance. Rastian"s as romantic as an old pair of shoes." She sighed. "Maybe when I"m older I"ll settle down. Like Papa did." She looked out the window and said in a casual voice, "Do you happen to know if Glaen was invited?"
"No."
"Well. Tell me about that robe. The embroidery is amazing, it"s like brocade, so it doesn"t look dull, but a robe? Or is that the fashion in Charas-al-Kherval?"
"It is," Rhis acknowledged.
"And you"re wearing empire fashions here? Woo, even Iardith would be impresseda"if she were coming. But I hear everyone wrote to Taniva saying they"d come only if she didn"t, and then Taniva told, oh who was it? Oh anyway, Jarvas wouldn"t have her, so that"s that."
"I"m wearing empire fashions because skinny people look awful in those wide-necked dresses with the tight waists and the skirts draped over hips I don"t have. I love these robes."
Shera scanned the soft layers of gauzy silk with a critical eye, then gave a nod. "You do look good. What do you want to wager you start a new fashion?"
Rhis laughed. "We"ll see! What I really want, though, is to hear some of your music. Come on. Our last journey together we made music, and were just beginners. Now you"re leading musical fashions, and I want to be the first to hear your new songs."
Shera sat upright. "You can be the first to hear the song I made for their wedding gift! I think it"s my best yeta"I"ve got a triple counterpoint in a 5/4 rhythma""
"5/4? That"s impossible!"
"Oh, no it"s not! It"s a delightful rhythm, like galloping horsesa"they will love that." She demonstrated on her lap. "And just ravishing chord changes. Oh, if I don"t have everyone singing it by the end of the week, may I turn into a croaking toad!"
Everyone a.s.sured one another that the wonderful thing about the weather so very high up was, you could wear your very best clothes and be certain you wouldn"t wilt from the lowland heat.
Otherwise, the old fortress overlooking Lake Skyfall, which officially lay on the border between the Kingdom of High Plains and Damatras, was beautiful in a grand, austere way. An army of servants had done their best to make it more festive for the n.o.ble and royal visitors arriving from as far away as the Island of Wilfen. Brightly woven cushions softened the stone benches, and colorful territorial banners hung everywhere, rippling in the brisk mountain winds.
Jarvas and Taniva together received most of the guests, when they weren"t seeing to other matters. Rhis"s arrival caused no little stir, and the royal pair were both on hand when the six matched horses galloped round the last bend into a grand courtyard lined with stone statues of rearing horses.
Shera, face to the window in order to thoroughly enjoy the commotion their arrival caused, gave a loud gasp. "I see Lios! There he is!" She jabbed her finger against the gla.s.s, almost breaking it. "Ow. He"s therea"and with Hanssa! G-r-r-r, the rotter!"
Rhis felt her heart constrict. She did not lunge at the window, but nothing in the world could have prevented her from sending a fast glance past Shera"s shoulder. How strange it is that one can travel for five years, and meet hundreds of people, but a flickering glimpse of no more than the shape of a shoulder, the way his brown hair waved back over his ears, and she knew him immediately. And once again the sun poured its light right out of the sky and through her bones.
Leaning on his arm was a tiny lady, dainty and graceful as a b.u.t.terfly, her gold-touched red hair pulled back on either side of her head as she laughed up at Lios. He was partly hidden by a press of spectators. For a heartbeat they were poised, then they were swallowed in the crowd.
". . . that rotter." Shera sniffed. "He"s worse than Rastian! Hea""
"Wait," Rhis said. "Wait. There has to be a reason for what we saw."
"Yes," Shera said, fuming. "Unless what we saw was the reason."
Like screaming nightmare creatures, all the worst explanations ran through Rhis"s mind, but she"d learned not to latch onto what hurt worst, just because it was too easy for pain to impose its own logic.
"Lios," she said, "was never mean."
Shera said, "Unless he"s changed."
"If he"s changed that much, as well I find out, right?" Rhis retorted lightly, but Shera wasn"t listening. "There"s Glaen," she said softly, as Shera gasped.
Shera isn"t trying to make trouble, she loves drama, Rhis reminded herself as the carriage rolled to a stop. Tears and laughter, anger and forgiveness, rush forward and fade backa"romance for Shera was like a dance, or like her music, with all the rainbow of emotions. But like a rainbow, they were soon gone.
Rhis felt a little wistful as she stepped out, and then she couldn"t think at all because Taniva gripped her wrists and pulled her into a rib-cracking hug. Then, exclaiming so fast that Rhis could not understand her, Taniva pushed her at Jarvas, who thumped Rhis heartily on the shoulder with such enthusiasm Rhis hoped she"d be able to use her arm afterward.
But it was good to see them botha"even Jarvas. Even Jarvas"s wily old father, still hale and hearty, lumbering forward himself to offer Rhis his arm. "I"ll take you in," he said.
"I promise I"m not going to steal anything," Rhis replied, smiling up into the king"s ruddy face.
He gave a great laugh as he waved aside the waiting guests, and they scattered like chickens in a yard. "No, no! Seems to me you"ll be too busy to steal! Come along, Jarvas," he called over his shoulder. "You"ve done your duty until the next one comes alonga"now lend a hand, lend a hand."
He pointed a ma.s.sive finger, as the guests over on the other side of the room parted, and there stood Lios and Hanssa. Rhis scarcely had time to register Shera"s loud sniff before Jarvas thrust his way amid the guests, stopped in front of Hanssa. He then stuck his elbow out in the most approved courtly manner, and Hanssa slid her arm round his. And they started offa"the red-haired d.u.c.h.ess"s daughter hopping at every other step.
And though the Damatran queen was waiting to be introduced, and there were half-a-dozen old friends to be greeted, Rhis had eyes only for the slim fellow of medium height now left alone, whose smile was the old smile she"d cherished so dearly, a smile she did not know was mirrored brightly in her own face.
Then they were next to one another: all she heard was her own name on his exhalation, "Rhis."
She held out her hands, he took hers, slid her arm within his, and she sensed in his wheeling about that he became aware of their surroundings at the same moment she did. And so they blended into the crowd as new arrivals clattered into the courtyard beyond the double doors, all of whom had to be greeted and exclaimed over. Lios introduced Rhis to Jarvas"s mother, who had returned to Damatras to see her son married: that had obviously been a treaty marriage, but it had stayed friendly enough.
Then there were many old friends to greet and to catch up on. Some Rhis had seen in other places over her five years, othersa"all the Vesarjansa"she had not seen since she left.
Glaen was the first one to greet her, grabbing her up and swinging her around before setting her down: his courtly manners were all but gone, now that he was a second in command of a merchant marine fleet. He was as skinny as ever, his hair, nearly bleached white, still hanging in his eyes. He wore his green officer"s coat with more pride than he"d ever worn velvet or lace, and showed Rhis proudly each pin or medal he"d earned in working with the allied fleets to beat back the waves of pirates infesting the coast.
"Princess Yuzhyu wanted to be here, of course," Glaen said. "She told me to personally greet you, and beg you to visit her in Ndai."
"She can"t get away even for a short stay?" Rhis asked.
"Not with things as they are," Glaen said with a brief scowl. "But I"m not going to spoil this wedding with talk about the Djurans or their evil allies."
Breggan was also there, two years married to Thirash, who greeted Rhis like an old friend. And so the day flitted by, filled with talk and laughter, then music and dance, always within arm"s reach of Lios, who seemed to want to be as close by her as she wanted to be by him.
And despite Shera"s dark prognostications, it turned out that Hanssa had accompanied Lios"s travel partya"along with four others. They"d stayed at royal posting houses all the way north, a staid, proper party as different from a certain mad, desperate dash as could be. Rhis even had some conversation with Hanssa, who sat next to her at dinner. She discovered that she was not the only one who could change over five years: Hanssa"s sixteen-year-old pa.s.sion for royally-born people had switched to a pa.s.sion for royally-born horses, especially those with a pedigree for speed. Though she had learned to be charminga"her taste in clothes was exquisitea"when left to choose her own topic, it was horse racing. As soon as her broken toes (gotten in a fall when she tried one of Taniva"s high-bred hunters) healed, she proposed a royal horse race.
After dinner, she hopped away on an amba.s.sador"s arm.
And so Shera did not get her drama after all but neither did she look for it. When the dinner was over and the guests wandered off to explore the mountain retreat or to gather for various forms of entertainment, Lios held out his handa"and Rhis knew their promised moment had come at last.
Her last glimpse of Shera was at the other end of the room where she sat in quiet conversation with Glaen, all drama forgotten.
Rhis was chuckling to herself as she and Lios walked out onto a long balcony bathed in the cool blue light of both moons, one rising, one setting.
"Did you think about what to say on the long ride to the mountains?" Lios asked. "I know I did."
"I was singing too much," Rhis admitted. "And talking."
"Time for my speech. It was a good one, tooa"I had quotes in at least four of the languages you probably speak better than I do, and I got in a couple of impressive metaphors that I lifted from the latest play from Siradayel, but you know what my mother said just before I left? She said, Bring that girl back, my boy. When I get old and my court shoes pinch too tight to wear, it"s her I want to hand my crown to." He shook his head. "Somehow I can"t better that. Though the court heralds won"t like that about pinched shoes, if we ever tell them about tonight."
Rhis swept her gaze once over the soaring mountains, their crowns of ice gleaming in the soft light. I want to remember this day forever, she thought. Out loud she said, "That"s your mother, and that"s Vesarja. What about you?"
Lios held out his hands. "But don"t you see? There isn"t any me, or just me. I come with my mother and Vesarja. They are an inescapable part of me. I wish I could say that my mother"s temper will be so benign every day, but the truth is her shoes do pincha"or so she says when she gets mad in council and throws insults around like crashing plates. And as for Vesarja, I wish I could give you the play"s version of being a queen, with boxes of gems and a new gown every day, and an endless series of courtly plays and surprises. You can have those things, but the truth is, our part of the world is unsettled. Sveran Djur is restless. He wants more land."
"I know."
"And Arpalon is in terrible straits. His spending reached a crisis because he kept thinking he"d recoup by marrying his daughter to a very wealthy king, buta"so fara"it hasn"t happened. So he"s stirring up as much trouble as he can among our neighbors, and Shera"s own mother is listening to him, because she doesn"t need him making trouble on her border."
"I know."
"And the silk traders are unhappy because Thesreve"s silk is better, so they are gaining ground in world trade, and in short there is greed and ambition and danger aplenty out there in the world, and our job will be to ceaselessly guard against it. We will work hard."
"I know," she said.
"But it all changes if I can believe that you will be there, every day, every night, by my side. I"ve had five years to get to know other girls, and I have, and I liked many of them, but finally none of them was you." Lios gave an uncertain laugh, his feelings as whirled as hers. "All right, I"ve talked about what mother wants. What the kingdom wants. What I want. What do you want, Rhis?"
"You," she said, and took his face between her hands, and drew him into a long and lingering kiss.