"Never "wonder," my dear, at anything. Are you satisfied with your new position?"
"Very much, papa. Have you missed me?--badly, I mean?"
"There is no way of missing a person pleasantly, that I know," said her father; "unless it is a disagreeable person. Yes, I have missed you, Esther; but I am willing to miss you."
This was not quite satisfactory to Esther"s feeling; but her father"s wonted way was somewhat dry and self-contained. The fact that this was an unwonted occasion might have made a difference, she thought; and was a little disappointed that it did not; but then, as the colonel went back to his book, she put off further discussions till supper-time, and ran away to see to some of the house arrangements which she had upon her heart. In these she was soon gaily busy; finding the work delightful after the long interval of purely mental action. She had done a good many things, she felt with pleasure, before she was called to tea. Then it was with new enjoyment that she found herself ministering to her father again; making his toast just as he liked it, pouring out his tea, and watching over his wants. The colonel seemed to take up things simply where she had left them; and was almost as silent as ever.
"Who has made your toast while I have been away, papa?" Esther asked, unable to-night to endure this silence.
"My toast? Oh, Barker, of course."
"Did she make it right?"
"Right? My dear, I have given up expecting to have servants do somethings as they ought to be done. Toast is one of the things. They are outside of the limitations of the menial mind."
"What is the reason, papa? Can"t they be taught?"
"I don"t know, my dear. I never have been able to teach them. They always think toast is done when it is brown, and the browner the better, I should say. Also it is beyond their comprehension that thickness makes a difference. There was an old soldier once I had under me in India; he was my servant; he was the only man I ever saw who could make a piece of toast."
"What are some of the other things that cannot be taught, papa?"
"A cup of tea."
"Does not Barker make your tea good?" asked Esther, in some dismay.
"She can do many other things," said the colonel. "She is a very competent woman."
"So I thought. What is the matter with the tea, papa--the tea she makes?"
"I don"t know, my dear, what the matter is. It is without fragrance, and without sprightliness, and generally about half as hot as it ought to be."
"No good toast and no good tea! Papa, I am afraid you have missed me very much at meal times?"
"I have missed you at all times--more than I thought possible. But it cannot be helped."
"Papa," said Esther, suddenly very serious, "_can_ it not be helped?"
"No, my dear. How should it?"
"I might stay at home."
"We have come here that you might go to school."
"But if it is to your hurt, papa"--
"Not the question, my dear. About me it is of no consequence. The matter in hand is, that you should grow up to be a perfect woman--perfect as your mother was; that would have been her wish, and it is mine. To that all other things must give way. I wish you to have every information and every accomplishment that it is possible for you in this country to acquire."
"Is there not as good a chance here as in England, papa?"
"What do you mean by "chance," my dear? Opportunity? No; there cannot yet be the same advantages here as in an old country, which has been educating its sons and its daughters in the most perfect way for hundreds of years."
Esther p.r.i.c.ked up her ears. The box of coins recurred to her memory, and sundry conversations held over it with Pitt Dallas. Whereby she had certainly got an impression that it was not so very long since England"s educational provisions and practices, for England"s daughters at least, had been open to great criticism, and displayed great lack of the desirable. "Hundreds of years!" But she offered no contradiction to her father"s remark.
"I would like you to be equal to any Englishwoman in your acquirements and accomplishments," he repeated musingly. "So far as in New York that is possible."
"I will try what I can do, papa. And, after all, it depends more on the girl than on the school, does it not?"
"Humph! Well, a good deal depends on you, certainly. Did Miss Fairbairn find you backward in your studies, to begin with?"
"Papa," said Esther slowly, "I do not think she did."
"Not in anything?"
"In French and music, of course."
"Of course! But in history?"
"No, papa."
"Nor in Latin?"
"Oh no, papa."
"Then you can take your place well with the rest?"
"Perfectly, papa."
"Do you like it? And does Miss Fairbairn approve of you? Has the week been pleasant?"
"Yes, sir. I like it very much, and I think she likes me--if only you get on well, papa. How have you been all these days?"
"Not very well. I think, not so well as at Seaforth. The air here does not agree with me. There is a rawness--I do not know what--a peculiar quality, which I did not find at Seaforth. It affects my breast disagreeably."
"But, dear papa!" cried Esther in dismay, "if this place does not agree with you, do not let us stay here! Pray do not for me!"
"My dear, I am quite willing to suffer a little for your good."
"But if is bad for you, papa?"
"What does that matter? I do not expect to live very long in any case; whether a little longer or a little shorter, is most immaterial. I care to live only so far as I can be of service to you, and while you need me, my child."
"Papa, when should I not need you?" cried Esther, feeling as if her breath were taken away by this view of things.
"The children grow up to be independent of the parents," said the colonel, somewhat abstractly. "It is the way of nature. It must be; for the old pa.s.s away, and the young step forward to fill their places.
What I wish is that you should get ready to fill your place well. That is what we have come here for. We have taken the step, and we cannot go back."
"Couldn"t we, papa? if New York is not good for you?"