When Kate went to sleep Tony was still awake. He left his room with his laptop in hand and went into the kitchen/living room.The moment after it ended the dream of being the GM immediately returned. He was almost haunted by it in a way.
His curiosity got the better of him and he had to see the name of the QB he couldn"t remember while in the dream. He loaded up the 1999 draft and sorted by pa.s.sing yards. Not to his surprise, he saw the name at third behind McNabb and Culpepper.
It was confusing to him though, he didn"t remember Aaron Brooks ever playing for Green Bay. So he clicked on his name and saw he never played a down for them. He looked to see if there was any notice of transactions but saw there was none which means he was released the year after being drafted.
He would go on to New Orleans and have a good few seasons there. He wasn"t stellar but if it were the Browns in 1999 they didn"t need steller they need basic.
Now that his curiosity had been sated most people would move on. Tony wanted perfection, he looked through every detail of that draft and looked to see where perfection lied. He was overwhelmed by it and in the end, he didn"t sleep for multiple hours. The possibilities were endless and Tony was trying to account for them all.
"Aaron Brooks is a must. Are there any weapons for him on the outside possible to grab?" He went through every season trade and every possible free agent but found no one worth grabbing. He only knew of one guy of grabbing in the seventh round, but Tony wasn"t sure how much of his greatness was defined by the players around him.
He became aware that this wouldn"t be a one-year idea. This would take at least three and that would also require different coaches. So he went to look through all the available coaches in 2000 going forward.
This was above desire, this was into need. He couldn"t stop, he needed to see where he could have brought the team. "Tony Rose, Best General Manager." Those words were his driving force. This insatiable desire to be the best was what forced him to read article after article.
He might not have found the perfect solution to the problem but he found one he felt was a grade above where he would be without the information.
Then it all came crashing down. He came to understand that he stood in a house that he rented and wasn"t far from college. He wasn"t a GM, he was a college student. He couldn"t lul himself into this delusion that what he experienced wasn"t only a dream.
That is what the sane person would say and do. There is no way, he could be existing in both periods of time. Be existing as two different people, who knew nothing of one another.
This was all crazy talk and things only written in novels. He was Tony Rose, not Roy White, not the Brown"s GM, not any"s GM. He was a poor college student, who is out looking at past draft picks instead of lying in bed with one of the most beautiful women he had ever met.
Even as he told himself this, he did step away from the computer. He didn"t put down the pen or crumble the paper. "I found the stopgap, why isn"t my body stopping? Why can"t I return to my normal life? Why can"t I just give up on the dream?"
He placed down the pen and took a deep breath. He poured himself a gla.s.s of whiskey and sat down on the ground.
He couldn"t take it anymore. He had worn himself down to the bone and it was becoming too much.
"Would it even be fun?" He pondered aloud. He thought back to the single day he spent as a GM and even with the problems that existed. He found himself smiling at the memories. The moment he made the stellar trade with Atlanta was one of the happiest moments he ever experienced. The tension was there, the feeling of tranquility, and the euphoria as they called back. He couldn"t deny that he wanted to experience that again. He wanted to be that man a second time.
He wanted to be talked about on talk shows, shown on TV, interviewed for his achievements. He wanted to be the Vince Lombardi of GMs. It was a challenge, a goal, a dream.
He could only sigh when awoken to reality. That world he lived in was only a dream, this Roy White didn"t even exist in his world. He was a character created by his brain as to not be an old man.
Dwight Clark was the GM of the Browns back in 1999 at least he was when Tony last looked. He wasn"t now though. When Tony had walked over to his computer, the name written beside GM 1999 was Roy White.
Tony was stunned. He refreshed the page and it once more said, Dwight Clark. His mind had been playing tricks on him. He had wanted to believe that it wasn"t a dream but with the alcohol in his system believing a one-off wrong name isn"t anything worth betting on.
He took this as the point to where he needed to go to bed. He closed down his computer and walked back into the bedroom. He stood at the doorway and only looked at Kate, an almost smile gracing his lips.
"We may be broken up." He laid down beside her and pulled her into his chest. "But that doesn"t mean I"m going to let you leave my life."
With her held in his arms, he dozed off to sleep. The overwhelming he felt from being a GM forgotten when he looked at her. The drive of perfection gone, with her in his arms.