"I beg yer pardon, gents, but mebbe this is th" book yer fightin" about.
Kind o" funny like! I picked ut up on th" local yistiddy afternoon. I wuz goin" t" turn ut int" th" agint, but I clean fergot ut. I guess them papers may be valible. I never touched none of "em."
Talbot s.n.a.t.c.hed the bill-book and hastily examined the contents. His brow relaxed and he was grumbling something about a reward when Billie reappeared, laboriously dragging two baskets.
"Bil-lee"s dot chick-_ees_! Bil-lee"s dot pitty dishes. Bil-lee make dishes go "ippity!"
Before he could make the two jars go "ippity, The Hopper leaped across the room and seized the basket. He tore off the towel with which he had carefully covered the stolen pottery and disclosed the contents for inspection.
""Scuse me, gents; no crowdin"," he warned as the connoisseurs sprang toward him. He placed the porcelains carefully on the floor under the Christmas tree. "Now ye kin listen t" me, gents. I reckon I"m goin" t"
have somethin" t" say about this here crockery. I stole "em--I stole "em fer th" lady there, she thinkin" ef ye didn"t have "em no more ye"d stop rowin" about "em. Ye kin call th" bulls an" turn me over ef ye likes; but I ain"t goin" t" have ye fussin" an" causin" th" lady trouble no more. I ain"t goin" to stand fer ut!"
"Robber!" shouted Talbot. "You entered my house at the instance of this man; it was you--"
"I never saw the gent before," declared The Hopper hotly. "I ain"t never had no thin" to do with neither o" ye."
"He"s telling the truth!" protested Muriel, laughing hysterically. "I did it--I got him to take them!"
The two collectors were not interested in explanations; they were hungrily eyeing their property. Wilton attempted to pa.s.s The Hopper and reach the Christmas tree under whose protecting boughs the two vases were looking their loveliest.
"Stand back," commanded The Hopper, "an" stop callin" names! I guess ef I"m yanked fer this I ain"t th" only one that"s goin" t" do time fer house breakin"."
This statement, made with considerable vigor, had a sobering effect upon Wilton, but Talbot began dancing round the tree looking for a chance to pounce upon the porcelains.
"Ef ye don"t set down--the whole caboodle o" ye--I"ll smash "em--I"ll smash "em both! I"ll bust "em--sure as shootin"!" shouted The Hopper.
They cowered before him; Muriel wept softly; Billie played with his chickies, disdainful of the world"s woe. The Hopper, holding the two angry men at bay, was enjoying his command of the situation.
"You gents ain"t got no business to be fussin" an" causin" yer childern trouble. An" ye ain"t goin" to have these pretty jugs to fuss about no more. I"m goin" t" give "em away; I"m goin" to make a Chris"mas present of "em to Shaver. They"re goin" to be little Shaver"s right here, all orderly an" peace"ble, or I"ll tromp on "em! Looky here, Shaver, wot Santy Claus brought ye!"
"Nice dood Sant" Claus!" cried Billie, diving under the davenport in quest of the wandering chicks.
Silence held the grown-ups. The Hopper stood patiently by the Christmas tree, awaiting the result of his diplomacy.
Then suddenly Wilton laughed--a loud laugh expressive of relief. He turned to Talbot and put out his hand.
"It looks as though Muriel and her friend here had cornered us! The idea of pooling our trophies and giving them as a Christmas present to Billie appeals to me strongly. And, besides we"ve got to prepare somebody to love these things after we"re gone. We can work together and train Billie to be the greatest collector in America!"
"Please, father," urged Roger as Talbot frowned and shook his head impatiently.
Billie, struck with the happy thought of hanging one of his chickies on the Christmas tree, caused them all to laugh at this moment. It was difficult to refuse to be generous on Christmas morning in the presence of the happy child!
"Well," said Talbot, a reluctant smile crossing his face, "I guess it"s all in the family anyway."
The Hopper, feeling that his work as the Reversible Santa Claus was finished, was rapidly retreating through the dining-room when Muriel and Roger ran after him.
"We"re going to take you home," cried Muriel, beaming.
"Yer car"s at the back gate, all right-side-up," said The Hopper, "but I kin go on the trolley."
"Indeed you won"t! Roger will take you home. Oh, don"t be alarmed! My husband knows everything about our conspiracy. And we want you to come back this afternoon. You know I owe you an apology for thinking--for thinking you were--you were--a--"
"They"s things wot is an" things wot ain"t, miss. Circ.u.mstantial evidence sends lots o" men to th" chair. Ut"s a heap more happy like," The Hopper continued in his best philosophical vein, "t" play th" white card, helpin"
widders an" orfants an" settlin" fusses. When ye ast me t" steal them jugs I hadn"t th" heart t" refuse ye, miss. I wuz scared to tell ye I had yer baby an" ye seemed so sort o" trustin" like. An" ut bein" Chris"mus an"
all."
When he steadfastly refused to promise to return, Muriel announced that they would visit The Hopper late in the afternoon and bring Billie along to express their thanks more formally.
"I"ll be glad to see ye," replied The Hopper, though a little doubtfully and shame-facedly. "But ye mustn"t git me into no more house-breakin"
sc.r.a.pes," he added with a grin. "It"s mighty dangerous, miss, fer amachures, like me an" yer pa!"
[Ill.u.s.tration]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
X
Mary was not wholly pleased at the prospect of visitors, but she fell to work with Humpy to put the house in order. At five o"clock not one, but three automobiles drove into the yard, filling Humpy with alarm lest at last The Hopper"s sins had overtaken him, and they were all about to be hauled away to spend the rest of their lives in prison. It was not the police, but the young Talbots, with Billie and his grandfathers, on their way to a family celebration at the house of an aunt of Muriel"s.
The grandfathers were restored to perfect amity, and were deeply curious now about The Hopper, whom the peace-loving Muriel had cajoled into robbing their houses.
"And you"re only an honest chicken farmer, after all!" exclaimed Talbot, senior, when they were all sitting in a semicircle about the fireplace in Mary"s parlor. "I hoped you were really a burglar; I always wanted to know a burglar."
Humpy had chopped down a small fir that had adorned the front yard and had set it up as a Christmas tree--an attention that was not lost upon Billie.
The Hopper had brought some mechanical toys from town, and Humpy essayed the agreeable task of teaching the youngster how to operate them. Mary produced coffee and pound cake for the guests; The Hopper a.s.sumed the role of lord of the manor with a benevolent air that was intended as much to impress Mary and Humpy as the guests.
"Of course," said Mr. Wilton, whose appearance was the least bit comical by reason of his bandaged head,--"of course it was very foolish for a man of your sterling character to allow a young woman like my daughter to bully you into robbing houses for her. Why, when Roger fired at you as you were jumping out of the window, he didn"t miss you more than a foot! It would have been ghastly for all of us if he had killed you!"
"Well, o" course it all begun from my goin" into th" little house lookin"
fer Shaver"s folks," replied The Hopper.
"But you haven"t told us how you came to find our house," said Roger, suggesting a perfectly natural line of inquiries that caused Humpy to become deeply preoccupied with a pump he was operating in a basin of water for Billie"s benefit.
"Well, ut jes" looked like a house that Shaver would belong to, cute an"
comfortable like," said The Hopper; "I jes" suspicioned it wuz th" place as I wuz pa.s.sin" along."
"I don"t think we"d better begin trying to establish alibis," remarked Muriel, very gently, "for we might get into terrible sc.r.a.pes. Why, if Mr.
Stevens hadn"t been so splendid about _everything_ and wasn"t just the kindest man in the world, he could make it very ugly for me."
"I shudder to think of what he might do to me," said Wilton, glancing guardedly at his neighbor.
"The main thing," said Talbot,--"the main thing is that Mr. Stevens has done for us all what n.o.body else could ever have done. He"s made us see how foolish it is to quarrel about mere baubles. He"s settled all our troubles for us, and for my part I"ll say his solution is entirely satisfactory."
"Quite right," e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Wilton. "If I ever have any delicate business negotiations that are beyond my powers I"m going to engage Mr. Stevens to handle them."
"My business"s hens an" eggs," said The Hopper modestly; "an" we"re doin"