I gave a fiendish laugh. "Don"t I!" I cried. "What"s one murder more or less? I know you"ve put the police on to me, and I"d sooner be hanged than go back to Dartmoor any day."
Tommy rubbed his hands together ghoulishly. "What are we going to do with him?" he asked. "Cut his throat?"
"No," I said. "It would make a mess, and we don"t want to spoil Joyce"s carpet."
"Oh, it doesn"t matter about the carpet," said Joyce unselfishly.
"I"ve got it," said Tommy. "Why not throw him in the river? The tide"s up; I noticed it as we came along."
Whether he intended the suggestion seriously or not I don"t know, but I rose to it like a trout to a fly. There are seldom more than two feet of water at high tide at that particular part of the Embankment, and the thought of dropping George into its turbid embrace filled me with the utmost enthusiasm.
"By Jove, Tommy!" I exclaimed. "That"s a brilliant idea. The Thames water"s about the only thing he wouldn"t defile."
I stepped forward, and before George knew what was happening I had swung him round and clutched him by the collar and breeches.
"Open the door," I said, "and just see there"s no one in the pa.s.sage."
With a deep chuckle Tommy turned to obey, while Joyce laughed with a viciousness that I should never have given her credit for. As for George--well, I suppose in his blind terror he really thought he was going to be drowned, for he kicked and struggled and raved till it was as much as I could do to hold him.
"All clear!" sang out Tommy from the hall.
"Stand by, then," I said, and taking a deep breath, I ran George through the flat down the pa.s.sage, and out into the street, in a style that would have done credit to the chucker out at the Empire.
There were not many people about, and those that were there had no time to interfere even if they had wanted to do so. I just got a glimpse of the startled face of our taxi driver as he jumped aside to let us pa.s.s, and the next moment we had crossed the road and fetched up with a bang against the low Embankment wall.
I paused for a moment, renewed my grip on George"s collar, and took a quick look round. Tommy was beside me, and a few yards away, down at the bottom of some steps, I saw a number of small boys paddling in the water. There was evidently no risk of anybody being drowned.
"I"ll take his feet," said Tommy, suiting the action to the word. "You get hold of his arms."
There was a brief struggle, a loud scream for help, and the next moment George was swinging merrily between us.
"One! Two! Three!" I cried.
At the word "three" we let go simultaneously. He flew up into the air like a great wriggling crab, twisted round twice, and then went down into the muddy water with a splash that echoed all over the Embankment.
"Very nice," said Tommy critically. "But we ought to have put a stone round his neck."
One glance over the wall showed me that there was no danger. Dripping, floundering, and gasping for breath, George emerged from the surface like a frock-coated Neptune rising from the waves. He seemed to be trying to speak, but the shrieks of innocent delight with which his reappearance was greeted by the paddling boys unfortunately prevented us from hearing him.
I thrust my arm through Tommy"s. "Come along," I said. "We must get out of this before there"s a row."
Swift as we had been about it, our little operation had already attracted a certain amount of notice. People were hurrying up from all directions, but without paying any attention to them, we walked back towards the taxi, the driver of which had apparently been too astonished to move.
"Gor blimey, Guv"nor," he e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed, "what sorter gime d"you call that?"
"It"s all right, driver," said Tommy gravely. "We found him insulting this gentleman"s sister."
The driver, who evidently had a nice sense of chivalry, at once came round to our side.
"Was "e?--the dirty "ound!" he observed. "Well, you done it on "im proper. You ain"t drowned "im, "ave ye, gents?"
"Oh no," I said. "He"s addressing a few words to the crowd now." Then seeing Joyce standing in the doorway I hurried up the steps.
"Joyce dear," I said, "put on a hat and come as quick as you can. It"s quite all right, but we want to get out of this before there"s any bother."
She nodded, and disappeared into the flat, while I strolled back to the taxi.
It was evident from a movement among the spectators that George was making his way towards the steps. Some of them who had come running up kept turning round and casting curious glances at us, but so far no one had attempted to interfere. It was not until Joyce was just coming out of the flats, that a man detached himself from the crowd and started across the road. He was a big, fat, greasy person in a bowler hat.
"Here," he said. "You wait a bit. What d"ye mean by throwing that pore man in the river?"
I opened the door of the taxi and Joyce jumped in.
"What"s it got to do with you, darling?" asked Tommy affably.
"What"s it got to do with me!" he repeated indignantly. "Why, it"s just the mercy o" Gawd--"
"Come on, Tommy," I said.
Tommy took a step forward, but the man clutched him by the arm.
"No yer don"t," he said, "not till ... Ow!"
With a sudden vigorous shove Tommy sent him staggering back across the pavement, and the next moment we had both jumped into the taxi and banged the door.
"Right away," I called out.
I think there was some momentary doubt amongst the other spectators whether they oughtn"t to interfere, but before they could make up their minds our sympathetic driver had thrust in his clutch, and we were spinning away down the Embankment.
Joyce, who was sitting next to me, slipped her hand into mine.
"I love to see you both laughing," she said, "but I _should_ like to know what"s happened! At present I feel as if I was acting in a cinematograph play."
We told her--told her in quick, eager sentences of how the danger and mystery that had hung over us so for long had at last been scattered and destroyed. It was a broken, inadequate sort of narrative, jerked out as we b.u.mped over crossings and pulled by behind buses, but I fancy from the light in her eyes and the pressure of her hand that Joyce was quite contented.
"It"s--it"s like waking up after some horrible dream," she said, "and suddenly finding that everything"s all right. Oh, I knew it would be in the end--I knew it the whole time--but I never dreamed it would happen all at once like this."
"Neither did George," chuckled Tommy. "How long had he been with you, Joyce?"
"About twenty minutes," she said. "He came straight to me from Harrod"s, where he"s spent most of the day buying stores for his yacht. He had quite made up his mind I was coming with him. I don"t believe he"s got the faintest idea about what"s happened this morning."
"He will have soon," I said. "That"s why I threw him in the river.
He"s bound to go back to the house for a change of clothes, and he"ll find the police waiting for him there."
"That"ll be just right," observed Tommy complacently. "There"s nothing so good as a little excitement to stop one from catching cold."
"Except lunch," I added, as the taxi rounded the corner of Piccadilly and drew up outside the Cafe Royal.