A Rose Dedicated To You

From that night on, I decided to devote my all to Orpheus .

The feelings which I had towards him were neither love or admiration, but a strange feeling that I couldn’t name, but now that I look back, I should have called it affection among kindred souls .

But, once I had decided that, my feelings of not wanting to be unhappy and not wanting to follow that man’s words were like a lie, and I found myself humorous .

The next day, Orpheus showed me around the house .

We went around the first floor in this order: the parlour, study, library, entrance hall, dining room, and the sections where the servants work . On the second floor, he showed me: his room, the spare rooms, the children rooms, the bathroom and even where the servants stayed .  

The Rosenberg mansion was bigger than I had pictured . I listened to his explanations, and my tour was over in no time .

We spent a lot of time in the library and in Orpheus’s room, and I made Orpheus smile wryly as he showed me around .

“I know you’re interested in the books in the library, but my room isn’t anything special . The floor plans are the same as your room, and the furniture isn’t that much different . My room just looks plainer than yours . ”

“That’s…”

I couldn’t tell him that I wanted to stay here for a second longer because he usually slept here .  

I really wanted to check every inch and see how the room was . I wanted to touch his traces .

However, I remained silent because he would think it was disgusting if I were to be honest about this .

We had a late lunch and took a walk around the garden .

Most of the trees were green, and their leaves weren’t falling, but the lawn had withered, and the other plants seemed to fade .  

There weren’t any flowers anywhere, and the roses planted around the garden silently endured the winter cold .  

Only the fountain at the end of the stone path was filled with abundant water all year round, and every time it sprouted water, the water flashed like crystals .

“I’m looking forward to seeing these roses bloom . I’m sure it’ll be a wonderful sight . ” I said as I looked at the hazy clouds in the distance, and the sloppy hill beneath them, while picturing the roses in full bloom .

Red, white, yellow, pink and orange . They probably would look beautiful .

“Do you like roses?”

“Yes, very much . I think all women do . ”

Roses are flowers my mother never stopped loving .  

When I look at them, I feel nostalgia and sadness tightens my chest .

“When the roses bloom, I’ll deliver them to your room every day . ”

“Oh my, then my room would be filled with flowers . Apparently, Claire is going to decorate my room with jasmines . ”

“I’ll deliver more roses than the jasmines that Claire will give you,” Orpheus joked, and took me to the greenhouse behind the mansion .

It was an everlasting summer unlike the desolate garden, and flowers which didn’t bloom at this time, colourful flowers from the southern countries and plants I’ve never seen before were growing everywhere .  

I was frightened by the rotting smell of the carnivorous plants and the lotus leaves, which were big enough to ride on, were interesting . Orpheus said that it was actually alright to ride them .

“Then, I’ll wear clothes that are fine even if they get wet and try it,” I said, and Orpheus opened his eyes wide, covered his mouth with his hands and turned sideways .  

Apparently, he was laughing . His shoulders were trembling a little bit .  

――― What’s strange?

I wondered while waiting for his laughter to die down .

Orpheus, who had finally stopped laughing, looked serious as if he hadn’t laughed and said, “Then, I’ll lend you a hand if you fall off . ”

That night after dinner, we sat on the couch in my room and talked like yesterday .

Orpheus knew a lot of things and taught me a lot, and the thing that made me the happiest was when he told me his real name .

Even Diana didn’t know his name, and he also told me never to call him that at the same time .  

I locked away his name at the depths of my heart .

Since then, we built a good relationship through days like that .

Orpheus is a kind man . He was nice to a woman who he had to marry because it was his foster father’s last request .

We had dinner together when he didn’t have any plans, we had tea and took walks together, he took me out of the mansion on weekends, we had picnics and went horseback riding, we went shopping and to the theatre .  

Orpheus was kind and gentler than I deserved .

I tried my best to become a suitable wife for Orpheus .

I was involved in managing the mansion and his fief, I appeared in social circles, increased my acquaintances and expanded my network .  

In doing so, I wanted to give back to Orpheus who had freed me .  

However, there was one tough thing .

Being his bed partner .

At first, I had resisted when he embraced me .

It was the wife’s duty to give birth to the successor, and I knew that we wouldn’t have a child if we didn’t sleep together, but I hesitated when I thought about Diana .

How hurt would she be if she heard that her lover had slept with another woman… and had a child with her?

There is no love, just obligation .

Even if I told myself this, the feelings of guilt which resembled self-loathing didn’t disappear, and the more I thought about it, the more depressed I became .

As a result of my worries, I tried to tell Orpheus “I don’t need to give birth to a child, if another woman” ――― I didn’t dare give Diana’s name ――― “gave birth to your child, then we wouldn’t have to cross that line . ” However, he questioned me, “Do you have another man?” and I didn’t have time to explain before he pushed me down .

I stopped objecting then .  

My guilt didn’t disappear, but I decided to obediently accept it if he told me to quickly give birth to one or two children .

I’m sure Orpheus is only embracing me out of duty, and it’s also hard for him .

When Orpheus started calling me ‘honey’ instead of ‘you’, he often said this, “You’re the only one who won’t abandon me . ”

When the deed is over, he hugs me so tightly that I can’t even breathe while pleading .

I found this strange .

It didn’t seem like it would impact him much if he were to be abandoned by me .  

Were those just sweet nothings? Did he whisper that to me to make me want to do it? 

I don’t know how he felt as he said those words, but I always answered, “I won’t abandon you . ”

He may abandon me, but I won’t abandon him .

I really thought so .

Without knowing that I would break that promise .

While I had a good relationship with Orpheus, I also had a decent relationship with Diana .

At first, I kept my distance from her because I didn’t know how to interact with her, but Diana actively spoke to me .

Thanks to that, we had tea several times a week, and we visited each other’s rooms . Sometimes, I would take her hand, and we would walk around the garden .

The servants didn’t look very happy, probably because they thought I was going to harm her, but Diana smiled joyfully .

Most importantly, Orpheus was pleased when I talked about this with him . He always squinted his eyes fondly whenever I talk about Diana in detail .

I loved that expression on him, so I met with Diana more .

Diana is a charming woman . She is bright and is like a sunflower .

She is a generous woman who treated the person who stole away her lover like everyone else . She would tell me funny stories and make me laugh . Sometimes, she would even give me advice as if she was mediating between Orpheus and I .

She knew about my efforts, and would sometimes thank me for my hard work .

“This isn’t my place to say this, but Orphe won’t say it, so I’ll say it in his place . Ophelia, I think you’re doing very well . So, don’t overdo it . I’m worried that you might collapse from working too hard . ”

I felt like my tears would fall every time I was told something kind .  Why is this person so kind? 

Even though I stole this person’s loved one . Even though I’ve taken away her happy future .

Why does she smile like that? She will probably listen to me .  

Sometimes, Diana would also say this, “All you have to do is stay by Orpheus’s side . That’s all you have to do . You don’t need to do anything else . I’m sure Orpheus thinks the same way . ”

Diana is a good person .

It was no wonder that Orpheus was attracted to her and that the servants wanted to cheer her on .