"Over and out." I clicked off.
I sat in my chair, frowning at the phone for a long long time; then I punched up Lizard"s number again, and this time I left a message, just a short one. I didn"t want to say all that I was really feeling. Not where my troops could hear. So I just said, "I"m on my way home. We have a lot to talk about. Um-I love you. Please... be there for me. I need you. A lot." I hung the phone up and sat there alone for the rest of the rough trip in.
When the stingfly grub is large enough, it releases its hold upon the stomach lining of its host encysts itself into a hard indigestible pellet, and allows itself to be flushed through the system and excreted. Shortly after excretion, usually within a day, it hatches into an adult stingfly.
Stingfly grubs will spend only three to four weeks in the gut of a healthy gastropede. In order to retain the ability to digest foliage, both Chtorran and Tenan, the gastropede must continually reinfect itself with stingfly eggs. This symbiosis is obviously beneficial to both partners; the gastropede becomes a more efficient consumer of its environment, and the stingfly and its host bacteria thrive as a result.
But this symbiosis is clearly more important to the stingfly than it is to the gastropede, because the gastropede can survive without the stingfly larvae in its gut, but the stingfly cannot reproduce without a host. This means that the wormberry must be an important part of the gastropede diet, otherwise the stingfly could not have become so dependent on this avenue of infection.
As a result of our initial studies, the destruction of wormberries has been suggested as a way to control the spread of stingflies-and possibly gastropedes; but additional experimentation is strongly advised here before any pilot eradication programs are initiated. It is equally possible that without the nutritional support of the stingfly grubs and their symbiotic bacteria, gastropede appet.i.tes could become dangerously amplified, representing a much greater danger to resident populations in or near infested areas.
-The Red Book, (Release 22.19A)
Chapter 28.
Houstin "Everything in moderation. Especially moderation. "
-SOLOMON SHORT.
The chopper hit the ground with a bang and the door popped open almost immediately. I recognized the technique. The pilot was p.i.s.sed about something and wanted us off his airplane right now. The landing left my kidneys hurting, and I came down the steps with a foul expression on my face.
Dannenfelser made a serious mistake. No, not waiting for me at the bottom of the ramp. I was so tired that I would have walked right by him without even noticing he was there-but he opened his mouth. That was his mistake.
I"m sure it must have been something terribly clever that he meant to say. I don"t know, he didn"t get the chance to finish. I just grabbed him by the shirt and slammed him backward against the nearest waiting vehicle. "You f.u.c.king son of a b.i.t.c.h! You G.o.dd.a.m.ned traitor to the human race! You"d sacrifice the truth if it let you pay off a grudge!" His eyes were as wide as soft-boiled eggs. His face was as drained as a dead man"s-except for the blood running out of his nose. I didn"t even remember hitting him in the face. I just kept slamming him up against the d.a.m.ned van, again and again and again.
When they finally pulled me off him, he slumped brokenly to the ground. I had to give him credit for one thing, though-he never whimpered. He just wiped at his nose and tried to get back to his feet, waving off help. "No problem, no problem-"
I felt shocked at the damage I had done, and frustrated at the same time. I wasn"t finished. I wanted to bang his head against a wall for a while. I wanted to listen to the sound of his bones crunching. The fury that filled me was a flush of rage and ecstasy. It was very satisfying and to h.e.l.l with the G.o.dd.a.m.n consequences. I"d have a lot to say at my court-martial.
Abruptly, I noticed that my hands were bleeding; my knuckles were dripping. I"d cut them when I"d broken the window of the van with Dannenfelser"s head. I shrugged off Siegel"s and Valada"s grip. "It"s okay,"" I said. "I"m done." And then, I added, "For now, anyway." Two of Dannenfelser"s friends were helping him away.
They looked as shocked as he did.
"My G.o.d, look at your hands," Valada said. "Let"s get him to medical."
"No," said Valada. "I"ve got the first-aid kit from the chopper." She was already dabbing at the backs of my hands with a stinging cotton swab. "You"re lucky," she said. "When you fell down the ramp, you only skinned your knuckles. A little shpritz from the spray can and they"ll be fine."
"Huh-?"
"Too bad about Lieutenant Dannenfelser, tripping and falling into the wall like that."
"Valada? What are you talking about?" Siegel was staring at her.
"I know what I saw," she said firmly. She glanced around to the others. "Poor little Randy Dannenfelser was prancing around on the tarmac, celebrating our return, and he accidentally ran into a wall. Captain McCarthy hurt his knuckles when he went to help him. Right?"
"Thanks, Christine," I said. "But you can be court-martialed for perjury. Besides, this is one I"d prefer to brag about."
"Pardon me for disagreeing, Captain, but I don"t think so."
"I insist. This is my battle, not yours."
Valada sniffed and shrugged. "Hold out your hands." She shook the can vigorously and then began spraying my knuckles. The cooling mist stopped both the bleeding and the pain almost immediately.
I looked past her shoulder. Dannenfelser, helped by his friends, was hobbling up to me. He looked like h.e.l.l, puffy and red. Tomorrow he"d look even worse. Valada saw my look and tried to step between us. I said, "It"s all right, I"m through." Even so, I could see Siegel and Lopez poised to separate us again.
Valada finished with me and turned to Dannenfelser to attend to his wounds. He waved her off and pointed one trembling finger at me. It took him a moment to summon the words, but finally he managed to croak out, "I know who picked you up. You haven"t heard the last of this. I know who picked you up."
"Then you know more than I do." I started to turn away, then turned back. "Reilly and Willig and Locke are dead because of your petty little stunt. You"re lucky I didn"t kill you. I still ought to feed you to a worm-"
Abruptly, I stopped. Dannenfelser"s expression never changed. Why was I wasting my breath? "Aw, the h.e.l.l with it." I picked up the autolog cases, pushed past Valada and Siegel, and headed toward the distant terminal.
But the stingfly and its grubs are only supporting characters in this particular biological drama.
The insect"s more important role is to provide an avenue of transportation-and communication-for the Chtorran bacteriological and viral communities.
Because of the creature"s voracious appet.i.te, it is continually injecting and sucking blood from the gastropede population of the mandala settlement. Ecological models demonstrate that this behavior will produce and maintain a uniformity of microorganism populations throughout the gastropede inhabitants of the camp. The complete range of microorganism varieties will be found in all gastropedes accessible to the stingfly swarm.
-The Red Book, (Release 22.19A)
Chapter 29.
The Bald Man "Being dead means never having to say you"re silly."
-SOLOMON SHORT.
The first thing I wanted to do was climb into a hot shower, dial it up to something just short of scalding, and let the steam rise up around me forever; no, make that the second thing. The first thing I wanted to do was find Lizard and see if she was still talking to me; but when I got back to the apartment, she wasn"t there.
But the bald man was.
What struck me first about him was how shiny his head was. He was totally hairless. Tall and thin, he had a big nose and bright blue eyes made larger by his gla.s.ses. He wore an Army uniform and a familiar smile. And he was sitting in my chair-my comfortable chair-nursing a soda. He switched off the TV and stood up when I entered.
The last time I"d seen him was at the meeting where the President had authorized the use of two nuclear devices against the Colorado infestation. He"d looked familiar then too.
I didn"t ask, "How did you get in?" The answer was obvious. He had four stars on his shoulders and an Uncle Ira insignia. Instead, I asked, "Where"s Lizard?"
"She asked me to talk to you first."
"I see. Who the h.e.l.l are you?" I was certain I knew his voice; it gave me eerie shivers. The last time I"d spoken to this man it had been bad news too.
"You don"t recognize me, do you, Jim?"
"If I had, would I have asked?" I dropped my cases on the floor and shrugged out of my jacket. "You know, there are rules about invading people"s private quarters-even for generals."
He tossed me a key. "Here. You can give this back to General Tirelli. Or just leave it on the desk there."
I decided not to stand at attention. Whatever trouble I was in, I probably couldn"t make it any worse by making myself at home in my-our-own apartment. I started to pull off my boots, hesitated out of misplaced courtesy, then decided what the heck, he was here by his own choice, and pulled them off anyway. The olfactory result of three days in the same pair of sweat socks was worse than I had antic.i.p.ated. For a moment I thought a gorp had crawled in and died. I peeled off the grungy socks and threw them into the fireplace, then padded barefoot into the kitchen, hoping to escape-but my feet insisted on coming with me. I grabbed a c.o.ke from the fridge.
"You want a refill?" I asked with hostile courtesy.
"I"m fine, thanks." He"d followed me into the kitchen. He rinsed out his gla.s.s and put it in the sink. "Jim," he said. "Don"t run an att.i.tude on me. This is serious."
"You still haven"t answered my question."
"I"m your fairy G.o.dmother," he said. He wasn"t joking.
"I"ve had enough to do with fairies today, thanks-"
"I"m Uncle Ira. "
"Bulls.h.i.t. Uncle Ira"s dead-I was there." It seemed like ages ago, but the memory was still terrifyingly real. The worm had been on the stage. In a gla.s.s case. The gla.s.s had broken. The worm had surged out into the auditorium. Into the audience. I shot out its eyes, first one and then the other. It had nearly killed me. Uncle Ira had been in the front row. He had been one of the first to die. Or had he?
Uncle Ira had been tall and thin, with dark curly hair and round gla.s.ses and bright blue eyes and a big nose and "Oh G.o.d." The chill came sleeting up my spine. "It is you." The hand grenade went off somewhere behind my heart, and my brain went into overload, and about two nanoseconds later I started shaking. I felt like I was fainting. I put both hands on the edge of the sink and held on hard, waiting for the feeling to pa.s.s-it just got worse. I stared at the empty gla.s.s. My reality had been fragile enough; now it was crumbling. My throat was so dry, camels would have died in it. "Who else is still alive?" I managed to ask.
He shook his head. "I"m the only one."
"And even if you weren"t, you"d still say you were. Everybody lies about everything."
He put his hand on my shoulder. "Look at me, Jim."
I pulled away and kept staring into the sink. "This is another sh.e.l.l game, isn"t it? A sh.e.l.l within a sh.e.l.l within a sh.e.l.l."
"Remember the political circ.u.mstances of that conference? Most of the Fourth World delegates didn"t even believe there were such things as Chtorrans then. They weren"t there to cooperate with the United States. They were there to loot us; each of those delegates had an agenda. You saw them. I know you remember-you lost your temper and stood up to argue with Dr. Kwong in front of three thousand people.
They knew we had a secret operation. They knew I was connected to it. So we faked my death when we released the worm. It lent credibility to the whole operation, and it gave us a chance to bury the real Uncle Ira operation so deep it didn"t exist anymore."
"You mean the Uncle Ira operation I"ve been a part of-" Abruptly, the meaning of his words sank in. I looked up from the sink and stared at him, aghast. His eyes were incongruously sad. "It"s only a cover, isn"t it?" I said. "There"s a deeper level."
"Yes, there is." He said it without emotion.
"And you"re here to enroll me, aren"t you? That"s the way these things usually work. Or kill me, right?"
He shook his head. "No. We"re not going to kill you."
"I suppose I should be relieved. But I"m not." I added, "You know, I always knew there was something going on. I just didn"t know what it was. But I could sense things. Patterns. They didn"t make sense. There was a level of relationships that I could never quite figure out."
"It"s the best place to hide a secret. Inside another secret. When somebody finds the first secret, they"re so pleased to have found it that they don"t think to keep looking to see if there"s more. The same way that the Special Forces serves as a blanket for the Unlimited Infantry, where you accidentally started, the UI covers the United Intelligence agency, where you accidentally ended up. That"s what Uncle Ira really stands for, by the way. United Intelligence. And yes, the agency is really a cover for... an operation that doesn"t exist and doesn"t have a name. I don"t exist. I have no authority. There"s no budget. I have no office. And I serve under n.o.body"s command."
"But you sit next to the President," I said.
"When I"m needed, yes," he confirmed.
"And Lizard?"
"She"s a general in the Special Forces."
I realized I had my hand over my mouth. I was gripping the whole bottom half of my face in astonishment. I forced myself to lower my hand back to the counter. I picked up my c.o.ke again and pushed past General Ira Wallachstein-yes, now I remembered his name-into the living room. He followed me silently.
I looked around for a place to sit. In my own home, I didn"t even trust the furniture anymore. "You know, I wondered about it when we moved into this underground apartment. Why did we have to move into a security installation? What was so important that we had to live in, a cla.s.s-A shielded bunker? Here we are in a radio-clean environment. No emissions. No leakage. You can"t even use a portable phone in here. Everything is shielded wires, and every signal is coded and monitored or stopped at the door. I couldn"t help but be curious. Why are we so important? So now I know. And I feel like a jerk. You"ve been using me. Lizard too, right? I"ve been just a-a utensil. Haven"t I?"
He didn"t answer fast enough. He looked like he was searching for the right phrase. I took it as a.s.sent.
"I see. Well, thanks for the enlightenment. I guess I"ll go and pack-"
"You"re already packed."
I stopped; I was already halfway to the bedroom door. "I beg your pardon?"
"You"re already packed," he repeated.
I opened the bedroom door. There were three fat suitcases and a duffel bag on the floor. I turned around to face him. "I"m being thrown out?"
"Actually..." he began.
"You son of a b.i.t.c.h. You couldn"t even let me save enough pride to leave on my own, could you?"
"If you"d let me finish-"
"Okay." I put my hands up in the air. "Go ahead. Tell me I"m a jerk. That"s how these things usually play."
"Shut up, stupid," he said tiredly. "And listen. First of all, I don"t know what kind of a bug you have up your a.s.s, but ever since you completed the Mode Training, you"ve become one of the most self-centered, self-destructive s.h.i.theads I"ve ever met. No, no-don"t bother taking a bow. You"ve earned the trophy on this one. You have the uncanny knack of being able to find s.h.i.t, no matter where you are, just so you can step in it up to your armpits. Even worse, you manage to spread it around to everybody on your side so we can all enjoy it. You are a G.o.dd.a.m.n loose cannon.
I can"t begin to tell you what you"ve f.u.c.ked up. You don"t even give us a chance. If you"d sit down and wait once in a while and trust the people you work for-well, never mind. Frankly, you"re more trouble than you"re worth. Even Lizard thinks so."
The last one hurt. The others, I hardly noticed them; I"d heard worse. But to hear that Lizard had abandoned me emotionally as well as physically I sank into a chair. I fell backward into it. Hadn"t I already had enough today?
Why did I have to have this on top of it? I felt myself choking up. I stifled the sob before it came out. I could feel my face tightening; I put my hand over my mouth to cover my expression.
"Ah," he said, perceptively. "Is that what it takes to get your attention? I have to kick you in the b.a.l.l.s?"
"Oh, f.u.c.k you." I would have come out of the chair swinging, but I remembered something somebody said about it being bad manners to strike a superior officer.
Instead I let myself say everything I was feeling. It was just as deadly. "How come you"re always willing to protect me after the fact, but never before or during? How come people keep promising me responsibility and then taking it away before I get a chance to prove I can handle it? I worked my a.s.s off on the briefing books for Operation Nightmare. I"ve got whole chapters in The Red Book. I"m the worm expert. There"s n.o.body who"s been inside as many nests as I have. There"s n.o.body who"s-aw, h.e.l.l, I shouldn"t even have to tell you this. You should know it. I"m it. I"m the guy who earned the job as science officer on the mission. All of a sudden, General Wainright is playing politics, and who gets tossed to the lions first-?"
"You started it, Jim, when you took down Bellus."
"I didn"t take him down. He did it to himself. I told him to read the briefing book.