This was joyful hearing to Miss Woodley; still, she could not but reflect, the longer he was in coming to this determination, the more irrevocable it would be, when once taken; and every moment that pa.s.sed, she trembled lest it should be the very moment, in which Lord Elmwood should resolve to banish Miss Milner from his heart.
Amongst her unpardonable indiscretions, during this trial upon the temper of her guardian, was the frequent mention of many gentlemen, who had been her professed admirers, and the mention of them with partiality. Teased, if not tortured, by this, Lord Elmwood still behaved with a manly evenness of temper, and neither appeared provoked on the subject, nor insolently careless. In a single instance, however, this calmness was near deserting him.
Entering the drawing-room, one evening, he started, on seeing Lord Frederick Lawnly there, in earnest conversation with Miss Milner.
Mrs. Horton and Miss Woodley were both indeed present, and Lord Frederick was talking in an audible voice, upon some indifferent subjects; but with that impressive manner, in which a man never fails to speak to the woman he loves, be the subject what it may. The moment Lord Elmwood started, which was the moment he entered, Lord Frederick arose.
"I beg your pardon, my Lord," said Lord Elmwood, "I protest I did not know you."
"I ought to entreat your Lordship"s pardon," returned Lord Frederick, "for this intrusion, which an accident alone has occasioned. Miss Milner has been almost overturned by the carelessness of a lady"s coachman, in whose carriage she was, and therefore suffered me to bring her home in mine."
"I hope you are not hurt," said Lord Elmwood to Miss Milner, but his voice was so much affected by what he felt that he could scarce articulate the words. Not with the apprehension that she was hurt, was he thus agitated, for the gaiety of her manners convinced him _that_ could not be the case, nor did he indeed suppose any accident, of the kind mentioned, had occurred; but the circ.u.mstance of unexpectedly seeing Lord Frederick had taken him off his guard, and being totally unprepared, he could not conceal indications of the surprise, and of the shock it had given him.
Lord Frederick, who had heard nothing of his intended union with his ward, (for it was even kept a secret, at present, from every servant in the house) imputed this discomposure to the personal resentment he might bear him, in consequence of their duel; for though Lord Elmwood had a.s.sured the uncle of Lord Frederick, (who once waited upon him on the subject of Miss Milner) that all resentment was, on his part, entirely at an end; and that he was willing to consent to his ward"s marriage with his nephew, if she would concur; yet Lord Frederick doubted the sincerity of this, and would still have had the delicacy not to have entered Lord Elmwood"s house, had he not been encouraged by Miss Milner, and emboldened by his love. Personal resentment was therefore the construction he put upon Lord Elmwood"s emotion on entering the room; but Miss Milner and Miss Woodley knew his agitation to arise from a far different cause.
After his entrance, Lord Frederick did not attempt once to resume his seat, but having bowed most respectfully to all present, he took his leave; while Miss Milner followed him as far as the door, and repeated her thanks for his protection.
Lord Elmwood was hurt beyond measure; but he had a second concern, which was, that he had not the power to conceal how much he was affected. He trembled--when he attempted to speak, he stammered--he perceived his face burning with confusion, and thus one confusion gave birth to another, till his state was pitiable.
Miss Milner, with all her a.s.sumed gaiety and real insolence, had not, however, the insolence to seem as if she observed him; she had only the confidence to observe him by stealth. And Mrs. Horton and Miss Woodley, having opportunely begun a discourse upon some trivial occurrences, gave him time to recover himself by degrees--yet, still it was merely by degrees; for the impression which this incident had made, was deep, and not easily to be erased. The entrance of Mr. Sandford, who knew nothing of what had happened, was however, another relief; for he began a conversation with him, which they very soon retired into the library to terminate. Miss Milner, taking Miss Woodley with her, went directly to her own apartment, and there exclaimed in rapture,
"He is mine--he loves me--and he is mine for ever."
Miss Woodley congratulated her upon believing so, but confessed she herself "Had her fears."
"What fears?" cried Miss Milner: "don"t you perceive that he loves me?"
"I do," said Miss Woodley, "but that I always believed; and, I think, if he loves you now, he has yet the good sense to know that he has reason to hate you."
"What has good sense to do with love?" returned Miss Milner--"If a lover of mine suffers his understanding to get the better of his affection--"
The same arguments were going to be repeated; but Miss Woodley interrupted her, by requiring an explanation of her conduct as to Lord Frederick, whom, at least, she was treating with cruelty, if she only made use of his affection to stimulate that of Lord Elmwood.
"By no means, my dear Miss Woodley," returned she--"I have, indeed, done with my Lord Frederick from this day; and he has certainly given me the proof I wanted of Lord Elmwood"s love; but then I did not engage him to this by the smallest ray of hope. No; do not suspect me of that, while my heart was another"s: and I a.s.sure you, seriously, that it was from the circ.u.mstance we described he came with me home--yet, I must own, that if I had not had this design upon Lord Elmwood"s jealousy in idea, I would have walked on foot through the streets, rather than have suffered his rival"s civilities. But he pressed his services so violently, and my Lady Evans (in whose coach I was when the accident happened) pressed me so violently to accept them, that he cannot expect any farther meaning from this acquiescence than my own convenience."
Miss Woodley was going to reply, when she resumed,
"Nay, if you intend to say I have done wrong, still I am not sorry for it, when it has given me such convincing proofs of Lord Elmwood"s love.
Did you see him? I am afraid you did not see how he trembled? and that manly voice faltered, as mine does sometimes--his proud heart was humbled too, as mine is now and then. Oh! Miss Woodley, I have been counterfeiting indifference to _him_--I now find that all _his_ indifference to _me_ has been counterfeit, and that we not only love, but love equally."
"Suppose this all as you hope--I yet think it highly necessary that your guardian should be informed, seriously informed, it was mere accident (for, at present, that plea seems but as a subterfuge) which brought Lord Frederick hither."
"No, that will be destroying the work so successfully begun. I will not suffer any explanation to take place, but let my Lord Elmwood act just as his love shall dictate; and now I have no longer a doubt of its excess, instead of stooping to him, I wait in the certain expectation of his submission to me."
CHAPTER XI.
In vain, for three long days, did Miss Milner wait impatiently for this submission; not a sign, not a symptom appeared--nay, Lord Elmwood had, since the evening of Lord Frederick"s visit, (which, at the time it happened, seemed to affect him so exceedingly) become just the same man he was before the circ.u.mstance occurred; except, indeed, that he was less thoughtful, and now and then cheerful; but without any appearance that his cheerfulness was affected. Miss Milner was vext--she was alarmed--but was ashamed to confess those humiliating sensations, even to Miss Woodley--she supported, therefore, when in company, the vivacity she had so long a.s.sumed; but gave way, when alone, to a still greater degree of melancholy than usual. She no longer applauded her scheme of bringing Lord Frederick to the house, and trembled, lest, on some pretence, he should dare to call again. But as these were feelings which her pride would not suffer her to disclose even to her friend, who would have condoled with her, their effects were doubly poignant.
Sitting in her dressing-room one forenoon with Miss Woodley, and burthened with a load of grief that she blushed to acknowledge, while her companion was charged with apprehensions that she too was loath to disclose, one of Lord Elmwood"s valets tapped gently at the door, and delivered a letter to Miss Milner. By the person who brought it, as well as by the address, she knew it came from Lord Elmwood, and laid it down upon her toilet, as if she was fearful to unfold it.
"What is that?" said Miss Woodley.
"A letter from Lord Elmwood," replied Miss Milner.
"Good Heaven!" exclaimed Miss Woodley.
"Nay," returned she, "it is, I have no doubt, a letter to beg my pardon." But her reluctance to open it plainly evinced she did not think so.
"Do not read it yet," said Miss Woodley.
"I do not intend it," replied she, trembling extremely.
"Will you dine first?" said Miss Woodley.
"No--for not knowing its contents, I shall not know how to conduct myself towards him."
Here a silence followed. Miss Milner took up the letter--looked earnestly at the handwriting on the outside--at the seal--inspected into its folds--and seemed to wish, by some equivocal method, to guess at the contents, without having the courage to come at the certain knowledge of them.
Curiosity, at length, got the better of her fears--she opened the letter, and, scarce able to hold it while she read, she read the following words:--
"MADAM,
"While I considered you only as my ward, my friendship for you was unbounded--when I looked upon you as a woman formed to grace a fashionable circle, my admiration equalled my friendship--and when fate permitted me to behold you in the tender light of my betrothed wife, my soaring love left those humbler pa.s.sions at a distance.
"That you have still my friendship, my admiration, and even my love, I will not attempt to deceive either myself or you by disavowing; but still, with a firm a.s.surance, I declare, that prudence outweighs them all; and I have not, from henceforward, a wish to be regarded by you, in any other respect than as one "who wishes you well." That you ever beheld me in the endearing quality of a destined and an affectionate husband, (such as I would have proved) was a deception upon my hopes: they acknowledge the mistake, and are humbled--but I entreat you to spare their farther trial, and for a single week do not insult me with the open preference of another. In the short s.p.a.ce of that period I shall have taken my leave of you--_for ever._
"I shall visit Italy, and some other parts of the Continent; from whence I propose pa.s.sing to the West Indies, in order to inspect my possessions there: nor shall I return to England till after a few years" absence; in which time I hope to become once more reconciled to the change of state I am enjoined--a change I now most fervently wish could be entirely dispensed with.
"The occasion of my remaining here a week longer, is to settle some necessary affairs, among which the princ.i.p.al is, that of delivering to a friend, a man of worth and of tenderness, all those writings which have invested me with the power of my guardianship--he will, the day after my departure, (without one upbraiding word) resign them to you in my name; and even your most respected father, could he behold the resignation, would concur in its propriety.
"And now, my dear Miss Milner, let not affected resentment, contempt, or levity, oppose that serenity, which, for the week to come, I wish to enjoy. By complying with this request, give me to believe, that, since you have been under my care, you think I have, at least, faithfully discharged some part of my duty. And wherever I have been inadequate to your wishes, attribute my demerits to some infirmity of mind, rather than to a negligence of your happiness. Yet, be the cause what it will, since these faults have existed, I do not attempt to disavow or extenuate them, and I beg your pardon.
"However time, and a succession of objects, may eradicate more tender sentiments, I am sure _never_ to lose the liveliest anxiety for your welfare--and with all that solicitude, which cannot be described, I entreat for your own sake, for mine--when we shall be far asunder--and for the sake of your dead father"s memory, that, _upon every important occasion, you will call your serious judgment to direct you._
"I am, Madam,
"Your sincerest friend,
"ELMWOOD."
After she had read every syllable of this letter, it dropped from her hands; but she uttered not a word. There was, however, a paleness in her face, a deadness in her eye, and a kind of palsy over her frame, which Miss Woodley, who had seen her in every stage of her uneasiness, never had seen before.
"I do not want to read the letter," said Miss Woodley; "your looks tell me its contents."