[1] 冷笑话; literally 冷(cold)笑话(joke). It means a very corny joke, one that might make somebody groan instead.
[2] 陌上花开，可缓缓归矣: Literally, the flowers along the road are already blooming, you can see the scenery on one hand and return slowly as I wait for you. This is a historical letter that King Wusu, the first king of the Kingdlom of Wuyue sent to his wife. Before King Wusu came to power, he had already married his wife who was a peasant girl from a small farming village. Even though she had left with him to fight in his wars, she still yearned for home and would return every spring to her own family to visit her parents. Wusu could be said to have loved this wife very much (13 of his 36 sons were from her) and sent messages every single year back to her home whenever she wasn’t with him. Because for her to get home, she had to cross a mountain which on one side had a river and the other side was cliffs, he was afraid she would have unsafe travelling and spend money building a road on the mountain with handrails for her. One year, when she had left once again, he came out of the palace and saw that the flowers were blooming by the lake and thought of her. He sent a letter over to her with only those nine characters. Scholars have concluded that, from the view of the writer, he is expressing profound and unspoken love.
Chapter Thirty Seven Upon the Road, the Flowers Are Blooming
B City’s blistering heat continued for many days. Even if it was the evening, the heat didn’t even cool down a degree.
The meeting proceeded until six before breaking.
Afterwards, Yu Gong tailed Xiao Nai to his office, wanting to find an excuse to b.u.m a dinner off. He carelessly sat down on the sofa. Yu Gong started on an improper topic: “I say, you and our faculty beauty just decided to live apart?”
Xiao Nai walked behind the desk and bent down, his fingers tapping on the keyboard, “Without a proper t.i.tle and no qualifications, what do you want me to do?”
Listen, listen!
The words! The tone!
You too have this day!
Yu Gong was happy, very happy in his heart but very carefully didn’t not let this type of emotion spill out. This person in front of him was very perceptive, and he still owed this guy a few hundred dollars.
“Oh, this thing, pretty tragic.” Yu Gong brought out an expression of sympathy, and was planning on throwing out a “we are both lonely people, why don’t we go eat dinner together?” when he saw Xiao Nai close the computer, looking like he was leaving. Yu Gong paled.
“Leaving this early today?”
“En.”
“Doing what?”
“Getting married and having kids.”
At the exact same time in W City, it was storming rain. In a s.p.a.cious and luxious villa’s den, Wei Wei was walking a little boy through middle-school level questions.
“First make a line connecting the corners, then make an a.s.sisting line from this side, we can conclude the following relationships … … and using the proper relationships … … solve like this … … understand?”
The little boy seemed to want to cry and shook his head, looking at Wei Wei with eyes of confusion.
“Um, no problem, let’s go over it again.”
Last week when Wei Wei returned home, before she could spend some quality time with her parents, she was sent by Bei Daddy here to give his factory manager’s son some tutoring. He also rejected Wei Wei’s request for a cellphone, saying: “When it’s time, you can use your money from tutoring to buy it.”
Every time Wei Wei thought of it, she couldn’t help but wanted to cry. If she knew earlier, she wouldn’t have spent the scholarship money she had gotten before. Thankfully this child was very obedient and easy to teach.
After changing her way of explaining, the boy understood. She took him though another two questions. The rain finally stopped and Wei Wei hurriedly said farewell and left.
After the storm, the sun was still stubbornly trying to peek out, but the strength was very weak. The air seemed to carry the special type of crisp and cold smell that came after rain. Facing the cool night wind, Wei Wei rode her bike. She wore a green straw hat, traversing the crooked streets to quickly rush home.
There were important things to do today.
Getting home, eating dinner and washing up took to almost seven. Wei Wei greeted her parents before squeezing into her bedroom and putting on earphones. Opening the computer and logging on to the game, Da Shen was already there.
Wei Wei adjusted the microphone: “How long have you been here? It was raining today, I came back late.”
Wei Wei was using voice chat.
Before in the dorms, she had been afraid of disturbing her dormmates so she basically used only typing to communicate. It certainly wasn’t the case at home. She did what was most convenient. Her parent’s bedroom was on the other side of the living room, she wasn’t afraid of them hearing anything after locking the door.
Xiao Nai replied: “Just got on.”
“Oh, get married now?”
Wei Wei was, of course, not referring to the two of them, but to the tiger pets’ marriage.
These last few days the only thing Wei Wei did other than tutor was to take the pet to level up. Even though pets could also get married by level 30, but on the wedding night the attributes and techniques of the two partners could affect the quality of the next generation. So Wei Wei waited until she levelled her pet up to the maximum level to take her and Da Shen’s tiger to get married.
Marriage between pets was pretty simple. You had to take them to the G.o.d of Beasts to receive a blessing. But the wedding night was complicated.
First, they need to have a new room
Pets had their self-respect too. They wouldn’t do xxoo under the sky. So players had to construct in their own homes a new room for them. The last days Wei Wei and Xiao Nai split the jobs. Wei Wei took her pet to level up. Xiao Nai was responsible for buying and constructing the room.
Secondly, it had to be at night, after eight o’clock.
It was the same speech. Pets had their own self-respect. They wouldn’t do it in the light of the day. Everything had to be done furtively in the middle of the night.
After fulfilling these two conditions, okay, the wedding night could start.
Wei Wei and Nai He took the pets to marry, waited until eight and sent them into the bridal chambers.
According to the players on the forums, the scene when the pets were having their wedding night was very vulgar. The room would continue to shake and there would be pink hearts continuously coming out of the roof.
But Wei Wei was unlucky enough to not see such a scene, because when they just put the pets in, the system reminded her ––
“Sorry, your pet has not been born for 150 hours. It is a minor and cannot perform xx actions.”
… …
Could this game be any more s.a.d.i.s.tic? They met the level required to get married but couldn’t have a wedding night? The system once again broke its own record for ridiculousness.
Wei Wei stared with mouth and eyes wide open for a long while. She asked Xiao Nai: “Dream 2 wouldn’t be as ridiculous as this, right?”
“It won’t be.”
Xiao Nai rejected resolutely. After a few second, he slowly said: “Only this degree … …”
Wei Wei could only stay silent.
And be silent even more.
From the door came the sound of familiar footsteps. Wei Wei said “My mom’s coming” and quickly took off the earphones and produced the appearance of browsing online.
Bei Mommy only perfunctorily knocked before push and entering. She raised her hand and directly wiped on Wei Wei’s face, and muttered as she kept on wiping: “Why should a girl go study something like computers. I heard people say if they stare too long at the screen, their face would become quadrilateral too. Radiation is also not good for the skin, before going online you should always put on some protection … …”
Wei Wei was used to it and didn’t resist the efforts to rub at her face. She argued: “Then mom, you shouldn’t let me wash dishes, the detergent isn’t good for the skin on my hands.”
Bei Mommy said: “Then you wash the vegetables.”
The Bei family was very clear on the division of labor for cooking. Bei Mommy was the vegetable washer, Bei Daddy was the chef and Wei Wei was the dishwasher. But Wei Wei really didn’t like washing dishes, but washing vegetables … …
She’ll stay on washing dishes.
Bei Mommy rejected her daughter’s unreasonable request and felt very good about herself. After finishing rubbing the lotion on her, she smugly went on her way. At the instant she closed the door, Wei Wei yelled: “Mom, you should watch less TV, the TV is also quadrilateral.”
Wei Wei put her earphones back on. It was silent on Da Shen’s side. Wei Wei asked: “What are you doing?”
“Investigating dishwashers.”
“… …”
Xiao Nai supplemented: “I don’t like washing dishes either.”
“… … You eavesdropped on us talking.”
“Oh, I don’t mind listening in openly and honourably.”
Wei Wei coughed; “… … The sprouts of a revolution, if exposed to light too early, will be killed.”
Wei Wei didn’t talk to her parents about the thing with Xiao Nai. Not taking into account that her dad was opposed to her having a relationship during university, just her mom’s ability to want to know everything and instinct to boast, if she talked, it wouldn’t take three days before all her relatives knew she had a boyfriend.
Xiao Nai corrected her: “Wei Wei, sprouts need light, those that don’t need light are beans.”
… … how cold. Da Shen was deserving of being called Da Shen. Even his bad jokes were on the level of G.o.ds. In the summer, the people who heard them felt very cold. [1]
“You didn’t open the air conditioning, right?”
>o
Okay, she was cold too… …
Wei Wei didn’t want to chat anymore with him: “I’m going to take the tiger to waste time, you work on your things.”
“En.”
It was always like this in these days. Earphones on, if they want to say something, they would say a bit, if they didn’t want to talk then they would each do their own thing. A lot of the time, when he was programming, Wei Wei would, on her side, take her pet to level up, watch some movies, and occasionally look at the programming books she brought back.
Sometimes, they wouldn’t speak for half an hour but they wouldn’t feel awkward.
Er Xi was very disdainful of their way of communication. She said that after all that, it didn’t have any meaning since they ended back in the game online. They at least needed to find a good place to have a vacation or something.
Wei Wei didn’t agree. There was nothing wrong with the game. It had mountains, it had water and it had Da Shen. It clearly was very romantic.
And it also saved on the telephone fees >o
Listening to Da Shen’s gentle rhythmic strokes of the keyboard, Wei Wei wandered aimlessly in the game with her tiger.
In reality, Da Shen was working very hard. He would frequently write code or plan deep into the night. To make a MMORPG, if you wanted to follow the majority, it would be very easy and didn’t require somebody of Xiao Nai’s abilities to work. He only needed to make a prototype and divide it to give to other people. But if the goal was to create something new, he must spend lots of energy and time on making a new engine, writing the main code and structure everything in place.
Perhaps, it was that the so-called geniuses, who had to work much harder than normal people.
After wasting time in the game, a hungry Bei Daddy made a pot of wonton and called for Wei Wei to eat as well. Wei Wei, under the lamenting gaze of her mother, stuffed her belly full and walked back to her room. She boasted to Da Shen about the talents of her father and asked what Xiao Nai had at for dinner.
Da Shen replied: “Forgot, but I’m a bit hungry now.”
Wei Wei wanted to say that he should go find something but remembered thatDa Shen’s parents were off somewhere digging. At the moment, there was just him at home.
Wei Wei though for a bit, sneakily opening the bedroom door for a look. There wasn’t anybody in the living room so she slipped out, and made a long-distance call. After a while, she crept back in and asked Xiao Nai: “Do you have change?”
The sound of the keyboard didn’t change. A certain person could multi-task very well, “En?”
“Nothing.”
After about half an hour, Xiao Nai said: “Somebody’s knocking, I’m going to check.”
Wei Wei smiled widely.
After another ten minutes, from the other side came the sound of the earphones being put on.
“You called for takeout?”
“Yeah, their beef noodles are pretty good.’ Wei Wei was pretty satisfied with herself. Luckily, she had accidentally found out his home address last time, otherwise she couldn’t order for him.
“Why were you gone that long?”
“Didn’t have change, had to go borrow from the neighbors.”
Wei Wei sweated.
Xiao Nai laughed, “Do you know who my neighbor is?”
O… … It’s not the president of the university, right?”
“Our dean.”
… …
… …
Their aimless chat continued all the way until eleven when Wei Wei was rushed to bed by her mom who had finished watching TV. But she laid in bed and couldn’t sleep. Wei Wei climbed back up.
In the calm night, under the light of the stars, Wei Wei sat by the window, lightly humming and looked at the moon.
This was a very normal day, even all that satisfaction and happiness arose out of the trivial and common matters and concerns.
At the end of the month, Daddy Da Shen and Mommy Wei Wei finally welcomed the arrival of a little tiger. But this tiger was born unhealthy and the attributes were strangely weak. Even though a shenshou with anothershenshou might not have an immortal level offspring, but to be this weak was very rare. This was probably called too much of a good thing is actually bad.
A lot of players when they find out it’s a weak pet would throw it away. Wei Wei couldn’t do so and found a lot of herbs and medicines to rescue it. At the end, she finally managed to raise the attributes a little bit.
After another few days, Wei Wei finished a whole month of tutoring. A slightly tanned Wei Wei, due to running back and forth everyday, took her two thousand in wages and went shopping for a cellphone.
Wei Wei’s shopping was very efficient.
The brand didn’t need to be chosen, Da Shen’s.
The model didn’t need to be chosen, just like his.
The color, Da Shen’s cellphone was silvery white, she chose pink instead.
En, she definitely didn’t want to do some sort of matching! It was just … … trusting Da Shen’s choices ^_^
On the road home, Wei Wei kept on thinking what message she should send to Da Shen. This would be the first message she would be sending from her new phone, it had to have meaning.
An idea sprouted when she reached home, Wei Wei sent this kind of message over.
“Hong Kong Gui Corporation Twentieth Anniversary. The company would like to give back to society and has done a lottery. Your number has been chosen to receive the third prize, the prize being a laptop computer. After paying the taxes and handling fees of one thousand dollars, we will send the prize over to you.”
This type of fraudulent text message, when Er Xi received one, she would always read it out loud for everybody. Wei Wei had heard many of them so composing this message didn’t require any effort. To make it seem more authentic, Wei Wei also took out her own bank card and sent over the account number.
Finished writing, she admired it twice and sent it out.
Hehe, Da Shen would most certainly think this text was a spam message and delete it. At night when she will tell him she was the one who sent it, his reaction would be most amusing.
This type of text, n.o.body would reply to. Wei Wei went to eat after sending it. As she ate, she thought about how she would accuse him ––I sent you a text and you ignored me!
As Wei Wei thought, she started laughing to herself.
Unexpectedly, as she ate, a sound came out of her cellphone. She hadn’t given her number to anyone yet so n.o.body should be sending her a message. Wei Wei curiously looked over.
Sender: 777795559
What was this?
Open.
h.e.l.lo Bei Wei Wei! Xiao Nai used the online transfer service of X Bank to transfer into your account with ending number x.x.xX 1000 yuan. Accompanying message: None.
Wei Wei was shocked.
Brushing off her parent’s questioning gazes, Wei Wei took her phone and hid in her room to make a call. The phone was very quickly picked up. Wei Wei’s first sentence was: “Why would you actually transfer money, it’s a fraud scheme.”
Wei Wei was embarra.s.sed enough to die.
At the other side, Xiao Nai laughed lowly and slowly said: “I know you were trying to trick me.”
Wei Wei’s heart stopped when he said it, and lapsed into a state of speechlessness. After a long while she asked: “How did you know it was me?”
“Check the location of the phone. Coincidentally it was in the same city as you.”
Uh… …
“You’ll check the location of every fraudulent message you receive?”
Da Shen, what type of hobbies do you have?
“No, but the bank number you gave seemed very familiar so I check. Wei Wei, your skills aren’t up to par, you don’t even know how to write an account number.”
Xiao Nai started to criticize her.
Wei Wei was embarra.s.sed. So that’s where the mistake had been, but she had only used her card once in front of him to take out some cash. He remembered from that?
She totally lost to him!
“You know it was me and still transferred … …”
“Buy an airplane ticket.”
Wei Wei froze.
At the other side of the phone in B City, inside an office, Xiao Nai leaned back in the chair with his phone. He stared at one spot. It was a blooming cactus. His gaze was warm as he looked at the tender yellow buds.
“Wei Wei, the flowers are blooming, you can travel slowly.” [2]