A Solitary God In A Dark Multiverse

"What have you been doing since your minds were destroyed?" I asked the pair of angels, studying them carefully. They were quiet for a moment, before speaking in unison.

"We have been here. As have our comrades, though in other volcanoes. We have been... existing." The pair of angels replied. I watched them carefully, studying them as they replied to me. My eyes narrowed when they replied that way.

"And is there a reason why you two are together?" I asked, looking at the angels with something akin to suspicion in my gaze. They gazed back at me, reverentially while formulating another answer to my questions.

"We are together because we are a mated pair. Angels can reproduce in a manner similar to terrestrial b.u.t.terflies." The angels replied. For a moment their monotonous voices becoming somewhat warmer as they spoke that time. I smiled, understanding their connection a bit more.

"You"re a mated pair? So are you... in love?" I asked, curious to hear their answer. They nodded at me, at least as far as they could nod.

"What is that like? I don"t... feel emotions in the same way you do." I asked them. I also hadn"t had many chances to engage with creatures in love yet.

The two biggest examples of loving relationships that I knew of were the parents of Isadora, and Gustavo and his wife. I couldn"t ask Gustavo without looking odd, and if I asked the parents of Isabella they would badger me with questions. They had before when I had spoken with them. So this presented me with a neat opportunity to learn about something without being badgered.

The pair of angels studied me for a moment. And then only one of them spoke.

"Being in love means wanting to share your life with someone. It means that you care for them as much as you care about yourself. More even." The one closest to me, Lahar said. Then Pagsabog closed in and spoke.

"Being in love means you care enough to protect that person. It means you care enough to risk your life for them. It"s when you feel, truly deeply feel, that your life is better because they are in it. Being in love is... a willingness to sacrifice your own happiness for someone else. Have you ever felt anything like that?" Asked Pagsabog.

I thought about that for a moment. I was silent as I mulled it over. It didn"t take me long to realize that the answer was no. A moment after I came to that realization I looked at the angels.

"No. I haven"t. I don"t even know if I like people in general." I told the angels. They were silent as they thought about my answer.

"Hmm... Maybe you should think about that." Lahar suggested, encouraging me to be introspective. I grinned at the angels, appreciating their advice. And then I refocused and decided to ask them another question.

"So wait, if you know you"re a mated pair of angels does that mean you have other memories as well?" I asked, looking at them expectantly. They subtly shook their heads at me.

"We don"t. We know we"re in love, and that we"re a mated pair, but our memories... They are stuck behind a mental... wall." The two angels said, speaking in that almost monotonous unison once more.

I looked at them and then reached out a hand. They glanced at the outstretched appendage and were silent. I chuckled.

"I"m gonna heal you. Eventually. Your minds were destroyed. And when I heal you we"ll discover whoever did this to you. I... want to speak to them." I told the angels, a wry grin on my face as I spoke.

"We see..." The angels muttered, the spines on their backs lighting up as they spoke. The spines were one of the only features that ruined the illusion that they were ordinary giant b.u.t.terflies. The objects were dark red, almost blood-like in color, and protruded from their backs. Their faces subtly twitched in discomfort when they spoke, and their abrupt silence clued me in on something.

I sensed that the pair of angels had just tried to lie to me. It made me want to chuckle.

"Did... did you just try to lie to me?" I asked, a grin on my lips. Both of the angels looked down, radiating guilty energy. I chuckled at their discomfort.

"I have an ability that prevents mortals from lying to me. I suppose I know now that it can work on angels too." I told them, speaking smugly. They were silent, and I allowed the silence to fill the air between us for a few moments.

"For now, my orders are to stay here. In the days to come this will change, but before I use your powers I need to master my own." I told the pair of angels, once I decided to interrupt the silence that had overtaken the air between us. When the ent.i.ties nodded at me, I grinned and vanished from view, teleporting away from the pair of creatures.

I was teleporting to a place where I could be alone with my thoughts. I needed a moment to think.

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I teleported myself to an unusual location. I went from standing in the volcano to standing within one of the areas populated by the undead horde I had created. In an instant, I went from standing at the edge of a hot volcano to standing within a city built by and for the undead.

I found myself within a large, unlit plaza, one that was only partially completed. Even the unstoppable tide of undead couldn"t complete this within five days mostly because they were too disorganized. Their disorganization was one of the things that made this place a perfect place for me to go to when I needed to think.

The necropolis was a project that was started by a few of the more intelligent undead I had created. It was led by a council of Grave-giants, who were themselves organized and led by Nivar. Nivar was the first of the Grave-giants I had reanimated, and one of the very few I had reanimated and then later deanimated so that I could transform her into something else.

My thoughts turned to her and the unusual trajectory of her life as I examined the plaza in detail.

The plaza around me was surrounded by ramshackle buildings. At the center of the plaza stood a number of open tents, inhabited by a number of minor, even by the standards of my powers, undead. The open tents were inhabited by ghouls and zombies.

I looked into a tent and saw a single ghoul, one who was originally a human male. It stood still, eerily inanimate. There was a thick crust of dried blood on the thing"s face. I looked into another tent and saw a female dwarf who had been reanimated as a zombie stand around lifelessly. The dwarf zombie had beautiful blue eyes, but they were vacant and lifeless.

The other tents were inhabited by corporeal undead, and the air above us was rife with incorporeal spirits. It was an eerie, albeit fantastic sight. I examined it for a few moments before making myself incorporeal and deciding to play around for a few moments.

I rose a single hand, aiming it near the tent that contained the dwarven zombie. I then activated one of the life-creating "shortcuts" I had recently acquired. A second later a fully formed adult cow appeared, as if out of nowhere, and came to life with a single loud moo. This noise carried far in the strange city and provoked a flurry of action and violence.

A tidal wave of the undead suddenly dashed towards me and my bovine creation. Undead exploded out of their tents, and hateful incorporeal beings swooped down on the cow. I watched, lazily, as the closest undead reached my creation and tore into the thing.

The cow mooed in pain, as the zombie reached the beast and bit into its hide-covered loins. The zombie energetically bit into the thickest part of the cow, but the other undead were more efficient. One of them, a powerful wright, held an iron axe and used it to swiftly decapitate the bovine beast.

The cow"s head was blown off of its body. A spurt of blood shot out and provided the almost entirely black and white backdrop of the city with a single, solitary splash of color. The body provided the undead with food and entertainment for nearly an entire minute, before the thing was reduced to bones.

I wasn"t going to allow the bones to remain idle. I wordlessly cast a single spell and reanimated the bones of the beast, creating the newest member of my legion of the undead. The skeletal cow ambled to life, reanimating as speedily as it came to life. This bored the other undead, who quickly went back to their homes or just mindlessly shuffled around the plaza.

[Althos...] The system muttered, sounding annoyed.

"What? The undead were hungry and I can do what I want with the cows I create from start to finish." I replied, annoyed at the system.

[This is one of the first arguably evil acts you"ve done in days.] The system replied, causing me to be surprised.

"What do you mean? I do evil acts all the time." I told the system, while trying to come up with examples. None came to mind.

[No you don"t. You didn"t even kill slavers, which... wouldn"t really be evil, though it"d be closer to evil than most things you do.] The system responded.

[You aren"t even really chaotic neutral. If you were a mortal your alignment would definitely be neutral good.] The system told me, saying something that surprised me.

"Wait, really?" I asked, shock coloring my voice. I heard an almost robotic voice chuckle in response to my shock.

[Yes! The evilest thing you"ve done, the first interaction you had with Okig, you did on accident. The next most evil thing you"ve done was you killing slavers, and you stopped killing them as soon as they surrendered. They were also practicing humanoid sacrifice. You were very clearly the good guy in that scenario.] The system said, speaking oddly snarkily as it did so.

[Do you not want to be neutral-good in alignment? After a while, I just sort of... figured you wanted to be neutral good.] The system remarked. At first, I thought it was being sarcastic but I realized it wasn"t when the silence between us filled the air. It was at this point that I came up with a reb.u.t.tal to its claims that I didn"t act evilly.

"I destroyed the town of Florida!" I told the system. It chuckled at me.

[At the behest of the system. Your acts of good have always been unprovoked and only rarely bring you a real direct benefit. Your acts of evil have almost always required significant prodding from the system and the promise of greater power.] The system said while laughing robotically.

[You don"t act evilly for the sake of advancing evil, you sometimes do things that are kind of d.i.c.kish either by accident or for the sake of gaining greater power. Power which you proceed to use... To improve life, for the living. Even when the living are a.s.sholes.] The system added, chuckling.

I sighed, annoyed at its remarks. I was mostly annoyed that I felt like the system was right and I couldn"t rebut it.

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I didn"t want to be a good-aligned G.o.d. I felt that that was... restrictive. I wanted freedom. I wanted to be able to influence everything, good and bad alike, and for people to know to expect that. Being a good-aligned G.o.d felt like it would lead to me being stuck in a role I didn"t want to be stuck in.

I hated slavery because it infringed on the freedom of others. I didn"t want my freedom to be infringed upon. I didn"t want to be restricted. Being neutral felt like a way for me to acquire the freedom for myself that I knew I wanted. It felt like... a way for me to be true to myself.

It was that sort of thinking that led me to say what I said next.

"I don"t want to be neutral good. Whether it"s by standards that are mortal in nature, or divine. I want to be neutral. That is how I feel that I can most acquire the sort of... spiritual freedom I want." I told the system, plainly stating my desires for one of the first times in my life.

[Then why don"t you act like it?] The system replied, speaking to me in a way that was somewhat refreshingly frank.

[You are not balanced. You are not neutral. Or at least you don"t act like it. You are... good, fundamentally. Maybe neutral good, maybe chaotic good, but basing things on your actions alone you are definitely some form of good.] The system told me, stressing it. Stressing me.

"I don"t want to be. And shouldn"t that count for something?" I asked, feeling... anger well up within me.

[It does, but if anything it highlights the reality that you are not neutral. At least... by mortal standards. The fact that you resist your nature accentuates your goodness, it doesn"t undo it.] The system proclaimed, speaking arrogantly. This deeply angered me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, anger seeping into my voice.

[It is more challenging to resist evil urges and behave kindly, or justly, than it is to behave kindly, justly, when it is one"s nature to do so. As a G.o.d, you"ve consistently resisted your innate desires because your innate desires are not always conducive to the needs and desires of those who possess less power than you do. Your acts of kindness, even if they have sometimes been in your self-interest, are meaningful. They color your soul.] The system explained, speaking a bit more gently now.

I considered the system"s words for a moment. And then made me reminisce. I reflected on my life, and on the things I had done to date. I recalled the times I had felt dark urges well up within me, and the ways I had resisted those urges. It felt... odd to reflect on my life to date.

"I don"t want to be good. And I suppose it"s time that I act on my desires." I said, a few moments after I began to think back on all of the events that led me to this point.

"I want to be free. And tying myself to goodness is not freeing. It doesn"t give me the freedom I want to have." I muttered, feeling a few of the domains within me growing a bit excited at what I was saying. I could feel their dark impulses surging within me. I sighed and pushed them back down.

"That doesn"t mean being an unrepentant monster. I must... find my own way." I said, not wanting to be a scourge who decimates and destroys without feeling. That said, their excitement still lurked within me, just dulled to an extent.

"But what do I want?" I asked, not speaking to the system, but to myself.