Bink suppressed a smile, but Crombie scowled. "I ran off and joined the army two years before I was of age. Never regretted it."
Dee frowned. "You don"t sound like G.o.d"s gift to women, either. We can all be thankful you never touched any."
"Oh, I touch them," Crombie said with a coa.r.s.e laugh. "I just don"t marry them. No one of them"s going to get her hooks into me."
"You"re disgusting," she snapped.
"I"m smart. And if Bink"s smart, he"ll not let you start tempting him, either."
"I wasn"t!" she exclaimed angrily.
Crombie turned away in evident repugnance. "Ah, you"re all the same. Why do I waste my time talking with the likes of you? Might as well argue ethics with the devil."
"Well, if you feel that way, I"ll go!" Dee said. She jumped to her feet and stalked to the edge.
Bink thought she was bluffing, for the storm, though abating, was still in force with occasional flurries. Colored hailstones were mounded up two feet high, and the sun was not yet out.
But Dee plunged out into it.
"Hey, wait!" Bink cried. He ran after her.
Dee had disappeared, hidden by the storm. "Let her go, good riddance," Crombie said. "She had designs on you; I know how they work. I knew she was trouble from the start."
Bink put his arms up over his head and face against the hail and stepped out. His feet slid out from under, skidding on hailstones, and he fell headlong into the pile. Hailstones closed in over his head. Now he knew what had happened to Dee. She was buried somewhere out here.
He had to close his eyes, for powder from crushed stones was getting into them. This was not tree ice, but coalesced vapor, magic; the stones were dry and not really cold. But they were slippery.
Something caught his foot. Bink kicked violently, remembering the sea monster near the island of the Sorceress, forgetting that it had been an illusion and that there could hardly be a sea monster here. But its grip was tight; it dragged him into an enclosure.
He scrambled to his feet as it let go. He leaped on the troll shape he saw through the film of dust.
Bink found himself flying through the air. He landed hard on his back, the creature drawing on his arm. Trolls were tough! He squirmed around and tried to grab its legs---but the thing dropped on top of him and pinned him firmly to the ground. "Ease up, Bink," it said. "It"s me--Crombie."
Bink did as much of a double-take as he was able to, considering his position, and recognized the soldier.
Crombie let him up. "I knew you"d never find your way out of that mess, so I hauled you out by the one part I could reach, your foot. You had magic dust in your eyes, so you couldn"t recognize me. Sorry I had to put you down."
Magic dust--of course. It distorted the vision, making men seem like trolls, ogres, or worse---and vice versa. It was an additional hazard of such storms, so that people could not see their way out of them. Probably many victims had seen the tangle tree as an innocent blanket tree. "That"s okay," Bink said. "You soldiers sure know how to fight."
"All part of the business. Never charge a man who knows how to throw." Crombie raised one finger near his ear, signifying an idea. "I"ll show you how to do it; it"s a nonmagical talent you can use."
"Dee!" Bink cried. "She"s still out there!"
Crombie grimaced. "Okay. I made her walk out; if it means so much to you, I"ll help you find her."
So the man did have some decency, even with regard to women. "Do you really hate them all?" Bink asked as he girded himself to wrestle with the hail again. "Even the ones who don"t read minds?"
"They all read minds," Crombie a.s.serted. "Most of them do it without magic, is all. But I won"t swear as there"s no girl in the whole of Xanth for me. If I found a pretty one who wasn"t mean or nagging or deceitful..." He shook his head. "But if any like that exist, they sure as h.e.l.l wouldn"t marry me."
So the soldier rejected all women because he felt they rejected him. Well, it was a good enough rationale.
Now the storm had stopped. They went out into the piled hailstones, stepping carefully so as not to take any more spills. The colored storm clouds cleared, dissipating rapidly now that their magic imperative was spent.
What caused such storms? Bink wondered. They had to be inanimate--but the course of this journey had convinced him that dead objects did indeed have magic, often very strong magic. Maybe it was in the very substance of Xanth, and it diffused slowly into the living and nonliving things that occupied the land. The living things controlled their shares of magic, channelizing it, focusing it, making it manifest at will. The inanimate things released it haphazardly, as in this storm. There had to be a lot of magic here, gathered from a large area. All wasted in a pointless ma.s.s of hailstones.
Yet not all pointless. Obviously the tangle tree benefited from such storms, and probably there were other ways in which they contributed to the local ecology. Maybe the hail culled out the weaker creatures, animals less fit to survive, facilitating wilderness evolution. And other inanimate magic was quite pointed, such as that of Lookout Rock and the Spring of Life---its magic distilled from water percolating through the entire region, intensifying its potency? Perhaps it was the magic itself that made these things conscious of their individuality. Every aspect of Xanth was affected by magic, and governed by it. Without magic, Xanth would be---the very notion filled him with horror--Xanth would be Mundane.
The sun broke through the clouds. Where the beams struck, the hailstones puffed into colored vapor. Their fabric of magic could not withstand the beat of direct sunlight. That made Bink wonder again: was the sun antipathetic to magic? If the magic emanated from the depths, the surface of the land was the mere fringe of it. If someone ever delved down deep, he might approach the actual source of power. Intriguing notion!
In fact, Bink wished that he could set aside his quest for his own personal magic and make that search for the ultimate nature of reality in Xanth. Surely, way down deep, there was the answer to all his questions.
But he could not. For one thing, he had to locate Dee.
In a few minutes all the hail was gone. But so was the girl. "She must have slid down the slope into the forest," Crombie said. "She knows where we are; she can find us if she wants to."
"Unless she"s in trouble," Bink said worriedly. "Use your talent; point her out."
Crombie sighed. "All right." He closed his eyes, rotated, and pointed down the south side of the ridge.
They trotted down--and found her tracks in the soft earth at the fringe of the jungle. They followed them and soon caught up.
"Dee!" Bink cried gladly. "We"re sorry. Don"t risk the jungle alone."
She marched on determinedly. "Leave me alone," Dee said. "I don"t want to go with you."
"But Crombie didn"t really mean--" Bink said.
"He meant. You don"t trust me. So keep away from me. I"d rather make it on my own."
And that was that. She was adamant. Bink certainly wasn"t going to force her. "Well, if you need help or anything, call---or something----"
She went on without answering.
"She couldn"t have been very much of a threat," Bink said forlornly.
"She"s a threat, all right," Crombie insisted. "But no threat"s as much of a threat when it"s somewhere else."
They ascended the ridge again and traveled on. In another day they came in sight of the Magician"s castle, thanks to the soldier"s unerring magic directional sense and ability to avoid the dangers of the wilderness. He had been a big help.
"Well, that"s it," Crombie said. "I have seen you to this point safely, and I think that about squares us. I have business of my own elsewhere before I report to the King for rea.s.signment. I hope you find your magic."
"I hope so too," Bink said. "Thanks for the throws you taught me."
"It was little enough. You"ll have to practice them a lot more before they"ll really serve. Sorry I got the girl mad at you. Maybe my talent was wrong about her after all."
Bink didn"t care to discuss that aspect, so he just shook hands and headed for the castle of the Good Magician.
Chapter 6: Magician.
The castle was impressive. It was not large, but it was tall and well designed. It had a deep moat, a stout outer wall, and a high inner tower girt with parapets and embrasures. It must have been built by magic, because it would have taken an army of skilled craftsmen a year to build it by hand.
Yet Humfrey was supposed to be a Magician of information, not of construction or illusion. How could he have magicked such an edifice?
No matter; the castle was here. Bink walked down to the moat. He heard a horrible kind of galloping splash, and around from behind the castle came a horse, running on the water. No, not a horse--a hippocampus, or seahorse, with the head and forefeet of a horse and the tail of a dolphin. Bink knew the dolphin only from old pictures; it was a kind of magic fish that breathed air instead of water.
Bink stepped back. The thing looked dangerous. It could not follow him out onto land, but it could pulverize him in water. How was he to cross the moat? There did not seem to be any drawbridge.
Then he noted that the hippocampus wore a saddle. Oh, no! Ride the water monster?
Yet it obviously was the way to go. The Magician did not want his time wasted by anyone who wasn"t serious. If he lacked the nerve to ride the seahorse, he didn"t deserve to see Humfrey. It made perverse sense.
Did Bink really want the answer to his question? At the price of a year"s service?
The picture of beautiful Sabrina came to his mind, so real, so evocative that all else became meaningless. He walked up to the hippocampus, waiting at the edge of the moat expectantly, and climbed onto its saddle.
The creature took off. It neighed as it sped around the moat, instead of across it. The steed was jubilant, using the water as a veritable racetrack, while Bink clung desperately to the saddle horn. The powerful front legs of the hippocampus terminated in flippers rather than hooves, scooping gouts of water back on either side, drenching him with the spray. The tail, curled in a muscular loop when the creature was stationary, uncoiled and threshed the water with such vigor that the saddle whipped back and forth, threatening to dislodge the rider momentarily.
"Neigh! Ne-ei-igh!" the monster sounded gleefully. It had him where it wanted him: right in the saddle, ripe for bucking off. The moment he hit the water, it would turn and devour him. What a fool he had been! Wait--so long as he remained in the saddle, it could not get at him all he had to do was hang on, and in time it would tire.
Easier thought than done. The hippocampus bucked and plunged, first lifting him above the moat, then immersing him in the frothing water. It curled its tail into a spiral and rolled, dunking him again and again. Bink was afraid it would stop with him on the bottom, forcing him to let go or drown. But the saddle was firmly fixed on its backside, and its horse"s head projected the same direction Bink"s head did, so it had to hold its breath when he held his. The monster was exercising, while Bink was merely hanging on; it was using more energy than he, and so it had to breathe sooner. Hence it could not drown him--once he had figured this out.
In fact, all he needed to do was keep his head and he would win, for whatever that was worth.
Finally the creature gave up. It flopped to the inner gate and lay still while Bink dismounted. He had conquered the first hurdle.
"Thank you, Hip," he said, making a little bow to the seahorse. It snorted and splashed quickly out of reach.
Now Bink faced a giant wooden door. It was closed, and he pounded on it with one fist. It was so solid that his hand hurt, and the sound was minimized: d.i.n.k-d.i.n.k-d.i.n.k!
He drew his knife and rapped with the handle, since he had lost his new staff in the moat--with no better result. If a hollow part.i.tion made the most noise, this was indubitably solid. There was no way to force it.
Maybe the Magician was out? There should still be servants attending to the castle.
Bink was getting angry. He had made a long, hazardous journey to get here, and he was ready to pay the exorbitant price for one piddling bit of information--and the d.a.m.ned Good Magician lacked the courtesy even to answer the door.
Well, he would get in despite the Magician. Somehow. He would demand his audience.
He studied the door. It was a good ten feet tall and five feet wide; it seemed to have been made of hand-hewn eight-by-eight posts. The thing must weigh a ton--literally. It had no hinges, which meant it had to open by sliding to one side---no, the portals were solid stone. Lifted out of the way? There were no connecting ropes to haul it up, no pulleys that he could see. There might be hidden screws set into the wood, but that seemed a lot of trouble and somewhat risky. Screws sometimes let go at inopportune moments. Maybe the whole door dropped into the floor? But that, too, was stone. So it seemed the whole ma.s.s simply had to be removed every time someone wanted access.
Ridiculous! It had to be a phony, a dummy. There would be a more sensible aperture for routine use, either magical or physical. All he had to do was find it.
In the stone? No, that would be unmanageably heavy; if it were not, it would represent a weakened place where an enemy could force entry. No point in building a substantial castle with such a liability. Where, then?
Bink ran his fingers over the surface of the huge mock-door. He found a crack. He traced it around in a square. Yes. He placed both hands against the center and shoved.
The square moved. It slid inward, and finally dropped inside, leaving a hole just big enough for a man to crawl through. Here was his entry.
Bink wasted no time. He climbed through the hole.
Inside was a dimly illuminated hall. And another monster.
It was a manticora---a creature the size of a horse, with the head of a man, body of a lion, wings of a dragon, and tail of a scorpion. One of the most ferocious magical monsters known.
"Welcome to lunch, little morsel," the manticora said, arching its segmented tail up over its back. Its mouth was strange, with three rows of teeth, one inside another--but its voice was stranger. It was something like a flute, and something like a trumpet, beautiful in its fashion but difficult to comprehend.
Bink whipped out his knife. "I am not your lunch," he said, with a good deal more conviction than he felt.
The manticora laughed, and now its tones were the sour notes of irony. "You are not anyone else"s lunch, mortal. You have climbed nimbly into my trap."
He had indeed. But Bink was fed up with these pointless obstacles, and also suspected that they were not pointless, paradoxical as it might seem. If the Magician"s monsters consumed all callers, Humfrey would never have any business, never obtain any fees. And by all accounts the Good Magician was a grasping man who existed princ.i.p.ally to profit himself; he needed those exorbitant fees to increase his wealth. So probably this was another test, like those of the seahorse and the door; all Bink had to do was figure out the solution.
"I can walk back out of this cage any time I want to," Bink said boldly. He willed his knees not to knock together with his shivering. "It isn"t made to hold people my size; it holds in monsters your size. You"re the prisoner, molar-face."
"Molar-face!" the manticora repeated incredulously, showing about sixty molars in the process. "Why, you pipsqueak mortal, I"ll sting you into a billion-year suffering sleep!"
Bink made for the square portal. The monster pounced, its tail stabbing forward over its head. It was horribly fast.
But Bink had only feinted; he was already ducking forward, directly at the lion"s claws. It was the opposite direction from that which the monster had expected, and the thing could not reverse in midair. Its deadly tail stabbed into the wood of the door, and its head popped through the square hole. Its lion"s shoulders wedged tightly against it, unable to fit through the hole, and its wings fluttered helplessly.
Bink could not resist. He straightened up, turned, and yelled: "You didn"t think I came all the way here just to back out again, did you, you half-reared monster?" Then he planted a swift hard kick on the creature"s posterior, just under the lifted tail.
There was a fluted howl of rage and anguish from the door. Then Bink was away, running down the hall, hoping that there was a man-sized exit. Otherwise- The door seemed to explode. There was a thump behind as the manticora fell free and rolled back to its feet. It was really angry now! If there were no way out- There was. The challenge had been to get around the monster, not to kill it; no man could kill such a creature with a knife. Bink scrambled through the barred gate as the manticora charged down the hall too late, splinters of wood falling from it"s tail.
Now Bink was in the castle proper. It was a fairly dark, dank place, with little evidence of human habitation. Where was the Good Magician?
Surely there would be some way to announce his presence, a.s.suming that the ruckus with the manticora had not sufficed. Bink looked around and spied a dangling cord. He gave it one good yank and stepped back lest something drop on him. He did not quite trust this adorable castle.
A bell sounded. DONG-DONG, DONG-DONG.
A gnarled old elf trotted up. "Who shall I say is calling?"
"Bink of the North Village."
"Drink of what?"
"Bink! B I-N-K"
The elf studied him. "What shall I say is the business of your master Bink?"
"I am Bink! My business is the quest for a magical talent."
"And what recompense do you offer for the invaluable time of the Good Magician?"