Something in her desired delay; there was plenty of time. She would walk a little way among the lively people who were streaming to the Stabilimenti to have their morning dip.
In the tram she had scarcely thought at all. She had given herself to the air, to speed, to vision. Now, at once, with physical action came an anxiety, a restlessness, that seemed to her very physical too. Her body felt ill, she thought; though she knew there was nothing the matter with her. All through her life her health had been robust. Never yet had she completely "broken down." She told herself that her body was perfectly well.
But she was afraid. That was the truth. And to feel fear was specially hateful to her, because she abhorred cowardice, and was inclined to despise all timidity as springing from weakness of character.
She dreaded reaching Mergellina. She dreaded seeing this woman, Ruffo"s mother. And Ruffo? Did she dread seeing him?
She fought against her fear. Whatever might befall her she would remain herself, essentially separate from all other beings and from events, secure of the tremendous solitude that is the property of every human being on earth.
"Pain, misery, horror, come from within, not from without." She said that to herself steadily. "I am free so long as I choose, so long as I have the courage to choose, to be free."
And saying that, and never once allowing her mind to state frankly any fear, she came down to the harbor of Mergellina.
The harbor and its environs looked immensely gay in the brilliant sunshine. Life was at play here, even at its busiest. The very workers sang as if their work were play. Boats went in and out on the water.
Children paddled in the shallow sea, pushing hand-nets along the sand.
From the rocks boys were bathing. Their shouts travelled to the road where the fishermen were talking with intensity, as they leaned against the wall hot with the splendid sun.
Hermione looked for Ruffo"s face among all these sun-browned faces, for his bright eyes among all the sparkling eyes of these children of the sea.
But she could not see him. She walked along the wall slowly.
"Ruffo--Ruffo--Ruffo!"
She was summoning him with her mind.
Perhaps he was among those bathing boys. She looked across the harbor to the rocks, and saw the brown body of one shoot through the shining air and disappear with a splash into the sea.
Perhaps that boy was he--how far away from her loneliness, her sadness, and her dread!
She began to despair of finding him.
"Barca! Barca!"
She had reached the steps now near the Savoy Hotel. A happy-looking boatman, with hazel eyes and a sensitive mouth, hailed her from the water. It was Fabiano Lari, to whom Artois had once spoken, waiting for custom in his boat the _Stella del Mare_.
Hermione was attracted to the man, as Artois had been, and she resolved to find out from him, if possible, where Ruffo"s mother lived. She went down the steps. The man immediately brought his boat right in.
"No," she said, "I don"t want the boat."
Fabiano looked a little disappointed.
"I am looking for some one who lives here, a Sicilian boy called Ruffo."
"Ruffo Scarla, Signora? The Sicilian?"
"That must be he. Do you know him?"
"Si, Signora, I know Ruffo very well. He was here this morning. But I don"t know where he is now." He looked round. "He may have gone home, Signora."
"Do you know where he lives?"
"Si, Signora. It is near where I live. It"s near the Grotto."
"Could you possibly leave your boat and take me there?"
"Si, Signora! A moment, Signora."
Quickly he signed to a boy who was standing close by watching them. The boy ran down to the boat. Fabiano spoke to him in dialect. He got into the boat, while Fabiano jumped ash.o.r.e.
"Signora, I am ready. We go this way."
They walked along together.
Fabiano was as frank and simple as a child, and began at once to talk.
Hermione was glad of that, still more glad that he talked of himself, his family, the life and affairs of a boatman. She listened sympathetically, occasionally putting in a word, till suddenly Fabiano said:
"Antonio Bernari will be out to-day. I suppose you know that, Signora?"
"Antonio Bernari! Who is he? I never heard of him."
Fabiano looked surprised.
"But he is Ruffo"s Patrigno. He is the husband of Maddalena."
Hermione stood still on the pavement. She did not know why for a moment.
Her mind seemed to need a motionless body in which to work. It was surely groping after something, eagerly, feverishly, yet blindly.
Fabiano paused beside her.
"Signora," he said, staring at her in surprise, "are you tired? Are you not well?"
"I"m quite well. But wait a minute. Yes, I do want to rest for a minute."
She dared not move lest she should interfere with that mental search.
Fabiano"s words had sent her mind sharply to Sicily.
Maddalena!
She was sure she had known, or heard of, some girl in Sicily called Maddalena, some girl or some woman. She thought of the servants in the Casa del Prete, Lucrezia. Had she any sister, any relation called Maddalena? Or had Gaspare--?
Suddenly Hermione seemed to be on the little terrace above the ravine with Maurice and Artois. She seemed to feel the heat of noon in summer.
Gaspare was there, too. She saw his sullen face. She saw him looking ugly. She heard him say:
"Salvatore and Maddalena, Signora."
Why had he said that? In answer to what question?
And then, in a flash, she remembered everything. It was she who had spoken first. She had asked him who lived in the House of the Sirens.