The fear that had been formless was increasing now in Hermione, and surely it was beginning at last to take a form, but as yet only a form that was vague and shadowy.
"Yes. I think it very strange. Did you"--an intense curiosity was alive in her now--"did you know Ruffo"s mother in Sicily?"
"Signora, it does not matter where I knew her."
"Why should she say that?"
"What?"
"Has Gaspare ever said you were like somebody?"
"I have never said Ruffo was like anybody!" Gaspare exclaimed, with sudden and intense violence. "May the Madonna let me die--may I die"--he held up his arms--"may I die to-morrow if I have ever said Ruffo was like anybody!"
He got up from his chair. His face was red in patches, like the face of a man stricken with fever.
"Gaspare, I know that, but what could this woman have meant?"
"Madonna! How should I know? Signora, how can I tell what a woman like that means? Such women have no sense, they talk, they gossip--ah, ah, ah, ah!"--he imitated the voice of a woman of the people--"they are always on the door-step, their tongues are always going. Dio mio! Who is to say what they mean, or what nonsense goes through their heads?"
Hermione got up and laid her hand heavily on his arm.
"I believe you know of whom Ruffo"s mother spoke, Gaspare. Tell me this--did Ruffo"s mother ever know your Padrone?"
She looked straight into his eyes. It seemed to her as if, for the first time, there came from them to her a look that had something in it of dislike. This look struck her to a terrible melancholy, yet she met it firmly, almost fiercely, with a glance that fought it, that strove to beat it back. And with a steady voice she repeated the question he had not answered.
"Did Ruffo"s mother ever know your Padrone?"
Gaspare moved his lips, pa.s.sing his tongue over them. His eyes fell. He moved his arm, trying to shift it from his Padrona"s hand. Her fingers closed on it more tenaciously.
"Gaspare, I order you to tell me."
"Signora," he said, "such things are not in my service. I am here to work, not to answer questions."
He spoke quietly now, heavily, and moved his feet on the carpet.
"You disobey me?"
"Signora, I shall always obey all your orders as a servant."
"And as a friend, Gaspare, as a friend! You are my friend, aren"t you?"
Her voice had suddenly changed, and in answer to it his face changed. He looked into her face, and his eyes were full of a l.u.s.trous softness that was like a gentle and warm caress.
"Signora, you know what I am for you. Then leave me alone, Signora." He spoke solemnly. "You ought to trust me, Signora, you ought to trust me."
"I do trust you. But you--do you trust me?"
"Si, Signora."
"In everything?"
"Signora, I trust you; I have always trusted you."
"And my courage--do you trust that?"
He did not answer.
"I don"t think you do, Gaspare."
Suddenly she felt that he was right not to trust it. Again she felt beset by fear, and as if she had nothing within her that was strong enough to stand up in further combat against the a.s.saults of the world and of destiny. The desire to know all, to probe this mystery, abruptly left her, was replaced by an almost frantic wish to be always ignorant, if only that ignorance saved her from any fresh sorrow or terror.
"Never mind," she said. "You needn"t answer. I don"t want--What does it all matter? It"s--it"s all so long ago."
Having got hold of that phrase, she clung to it as if for comfort.
"It"s all so long ago," she repeated. "Years and years ago. We"ve forgotten it. We"ve forgotten Sicily, Gaspare. Why should we think of it or trouble about it any more? Good-night, Gaspare."
She smiled at him, but her face was drawn and looked old.
"Buona notte, Signora."
He did not smile, but gazed at her with earnest gentleness, and still with that l.u.s.trous look in his eyes, full of tenderness and protection.
"Buon riposo, Signora."
He went away, surely relieved to go. At the door he said again:
"Buon riposo."
The door was shut.
"Buon riposo!"
Hermione repeated the words to herself.
"Riposo!"
The very thought of repose was like the most bitter irony. She walked up and down the room. To-night there was no stability in her. She was shaken, lacerated mentally, by sharply changing moods that rushed through her, one chasing another. Scarcely had Gaspare gone before she longed to call him back, to force him to speak, to explain everything to her. The fear that cringed was suddenly replaced by the fear that rushes forward blindly, intent only on getting rid of uncertainty even at the cost of death. Soldiers know that fear. It has given men to bayonet points.
Now it increased rapidly within Hermione. She was devoured by a terror that was acutely nervous, that gnawed her body as well as her soul.
Gaspare had known Ruffo"s mother in Sicily. And Maurice--he had known Ruffo"s mother. He must have known her. But when? How had he got to know her?
Hermione stood still.
"It must have been when I was in Africa!"
A hundred details of her husband"s conduct, from the moment of his return from the fair till the last kiss he had given her before he went away down the side of Monte Amato, flashed through her mind. And each one seemed to burn her mind as a spark, touching flesh, burns the flesh.