The speaker dropped his head, and lifted his hands to heaven.
"And now," he went on warmly, "I couldn"t bear to give you an unfavourable opinion of my late wife. Heaven forbid! She was the most generous, sweetest creature, a loving nature capable of any sacrifice, though I must between ourselves confess that if I had not had the misfortune to lose her, I should probably not be in a position to be talking to you to-day; since the beam is still there in my barn, to which I repeatedly made up my mind to hang myself!"
"Some pears," he began again, after a brief pause, "need to lie in an underground cellar for a time, to come, as they say, to their real flavour; my wife, it seems, belonged to a similar order of nature"s works. It"s only now that I do her complete justice. It"s only now, for instance, that memories of some evenings I spent with her before marriage no longer awaken the slightest bitterness, but move me almost to tears. They were not rich people; their house was very old-fashioned and built of wood, but comfortable; it stood on a hill between an overgrown courtyard and a garden run wild. At the bottom of the hill ran a river, which could just be seen through the thick leaves. A wide terrace led from the house to the garden; before the terrace flaunted a long flower-bed, covered with roses; at each end of the flower-bed grew two acacias, which had been trained to grow into the shape of a screw by its late owner. A little farther, in the very midst of a thicket of neglected and overgrown raspberries, stood an arbour, smartly painted within, but so old and tumble-down outside that it was depressing to look at it. A gla.s.s door led from the terrace into the drawing-room; in the drawing-room this was what met the eye of the inquisitive spectator: in the various corners stoves of Dutch tiles, a squeaky piano to the right, piled with ma.n.u.script music, a sofa, covered with faded blue material with a whitish pattern, a round table, two what-nots of china and gla.s.s, knicknacks of the Catherine period; on the wall the well-known picture of a flaxen-haired girl with a dove on her breast and eyes turned upwards; on the table a vase of fresh roses. You see how minutely I describe it. In that drawing-room, on that terrace, was rehea.r.s.ed all the tragi-comedy of my love. The colonel"s wife herself was an ill-natured old dame, whose voice was always hoa.r.s.e with spite--a petty, snappish creature. Of the daughters, one, Vera, did not differ in any respect from the common run of young ladies of the provinces; the other, Sofya, I fell in love with. The two sisters had another little room too, their common bedroom, with two innocent little wooden bedsteads, yellowish alb.u.ms, mignonette, portraits of friends sketched in pencil rather badly (among them was one gentleman with an exceptionally vigorous expression of face and a still more vigorous signature, who had in his youth raised disproportionate expectations, but had come, like all of us, to nothing), with busts of Goethe and Schiller, German books, dried wreaths, and other objects, kept as souvenirs. But that room I rarely and reluctantly entered; I felt stifled there somehow. And, too, strange to say, I liked Sofya best of all when I was sitting with my back to her, or still more, perhaps, when I was thinking or dreaming about her in the evening on the terrace. At such times I used to gaze at the sunset, at the trees, at the tiny leaves, already in darkness, but standing out sharply against the rosy sky; in the drawing-room Sofya sat at the piano continually playing over and over again some favourite, pa.s.sionately pathetic phrase from Beethoven; the ill-natured old lady snored peacefully, sitting on the sofa; in the dining-room, which was flooded by a glow of lurid light, Vera was bustling about getting tea; the samovar hissed merrily as though it were pleased at something; the cracknels snapped with a pleasant crispness, and the spoons tinkled against the cups; the canary, which trilled mercilessly all day, was suddenly still, and only chirruped from time to time, as though asking for something; from a light transparent cloud there fell a few pa.s.sing drops of rain.... And I would sit and sit, listen, listen, and look, my heart would expand, and again it seemed to me that I was in love. Well, under the influence of such an evening, I one day asked the old lady for her daughter"s hand, and two months later I was married. It seemed to me that I loved her....
By now, indeed, it"s time I should know, but, by G.o.d, even now I don"t know whether I loved Sofya. She was a sweet creature, clever, silent, and warm-hearted, but G.o.d only knows from what cause, whether from living too long in the country, or for some other reason, there was at the bottom of her heart (if only there is a bottom to the heart) a secret wound, or, to put it better, a little open sore which nothing could heal, to which neither she nor I could give a name. Of the existence of this sore, of course, I only guessed after marriage. The struggles I had over it... nothing availed! When I was a child I had a little bird, which had once been caught by the cat in its claws; it was saved and tended, but the poor bird never got right; it moped, it pined, it ceased to sing.... It ended by a cat getting into its open cage one night and biting off its beak, after which it made up its mind at last to die. I don"t know what cat had caught my wife in its claws, but she too moped and pined just like my unlucky bird. Sometimes she obviously made an effort to shake herself, to rejoice in the open air, in the sunshine and freedom; she would try, and shrink up into herself again.
And, you know she loved me; how many times has she a.s.sured me that she had nothing left to wish for?--oof! d.a.m.n my soul! and the light was fading out of her eyes all the while. I wondered whether there hadn"t been something in her past. I made investigations: there was nothing forthcoming. Well, you may form your own judgment; an original man would have shrugged his shoulders and heaved a sigh or two, perhaps, and would have proceeded to live his own life; but I, not being an original creature, began to contemplate a beam and halter. My wife was so thoroughly permeated by all the habits of an old maid--Beethoven, evening walks, mignonette, corresponding with her friends, alb.u.ms, et cetera--that she never could accustom herself to any other mode of life, especially to the life of the mistress of a house; and yet it seemed absurd for a married woman to be pining in vague melancholy and singing in the evening: "Waken her not at the dawn!"
"Well, we were blissful after that fashion for three years; in the fourth, Sofya died in her first confinement, and, strange to say, I had felt, as it were, beforehand that she would not be capable of giving me a daughter or a son--of giving the earth a new inhabitant. I remember how they buried her. It was in the spring. Our parish church was small and old, the screen was blackened, the walls bare, the brick floor worn into hollows in parts; there was a big, old-fashioned holy picture in each half of the choir. They brought in the coffin, placed it in the middle before the holy gates, covered it with a faded pall, set three candlesticks about it. The service commenced. A decrepit deacon, with a little shock of hair behind, belted low down with a green kerchief, was mournfully mumbling before a reading-desk; a priest, also an old man, with a kindly, purblind face, in a lilac ca.s.sock with yellow flowers on it, served the ma.s.s for himself and the deacon. At all the open windows the fresh young leaves were stirring and whispering, and the smell of the gra.s.s rose from the churchyard outside; the red flame of the wax-candles paled in the bright light of the spring day; the sparrows were twittering all over the church, and every now and then there came the ringing cry of a swallow flying in under the cupola. In the golden motes of the sunbeams the brown heads of the few peasants kept rising and dropping down again as they prayed earnestly for the dead; in a thin bluish stream the smoke issued from the holes of the censer. I looked at the dead face of my wife.... My G.o.d! even death--death itself--had not set her free, had not healed her wound: the same sickly, timid, dumb look, as though, even in her coffin, she were ill at ease.... My heart was filled with bitterness. A sweet, sweet creature she was, and she did well for herself to die!"
The speaker"s cheeks flushed, and his eyes grew dim.
"When at last," he began again, "I emerged from the deep depression which overwhelmed me after my wife"s death, I resolved to devote myself, as it is called, to work. I went into a government office in the capital of the province; but in the great apartments of the government inst.i.tution my head ached, and my eyesight too began to fail: other incidental causes came in.... I retired. I had thought of going on a visit to Moscow, but, in the first place, I hadn"t the money, and secondly... I"ve told you already: I"m resigned. This resignation came upon me both suddenly and not suddenly. In spirit I had long ago resigned myself, but my brain was still unwilling to accept the yoke. I ascribed my humble temper and ideas to the influence of country life and happiness!... On the other side, I had long observed that all my neighbours, young and old alike, who had been frightened at first by my learning, my residence abroad, and my other advantages of education, had not only had time to get completely used to me, but had even begun to treat me half-rudely, half-contemptuously, did not listen to my observations, and, in talking to me, no longer made use of superfluous signs of respect. I forgot to tell you, too, that during the first year after my marriage, I had tried to launch into literature, and even sent a thing to a journal--a story, if I"m not mistaken; but in a little time I received a polite letter from the editor, in which, among other things, I was told that he could not deny I had intelligence, but he was obliged to say I had no talent, and talent alone was what was needed in literature. To add to this, it came to my knowledge that a young man, on a visit from Moscow--a most good-natured youth too--had referred to me at an evening party at the governor"s as a shallow person, antiquated and behind the times. But my half-wilful blindness still persisted: I was unwilling to give myself a slap in the face, you know; at last, one fine morning, my eyes were opened. This was how it happened. The district captain of police came to see me, with the object of calling my attention to a tumble-down bridge on my property, which I had absolutely no money to repair. After consuming a gla.s.s of vodka and a snack of dried fish, this condescending guardian of order reproached me in a paternal way for my heedlessness, sympathising, however, with my position, and only advising me to order my peasants to patch up the bridge with some rubbish; he lighted a pipe, and began talking of the coming elections. A candidate for the honourable post of marshal of the province was at that time one Orba.s.sanov, a noisy, shallow fellow, who took bribes into the bargain. Besides, he was not distinguished either for wealth or for family. I expressed my opinion with regard to him, and rather casually too: I regarded Mr. Orba.s.sanov, I must own, as beneath my level. The police-captain looked at me, patted me amicably on the shoulder, and said good-naturedly: "Come, come, Va.s.sily Va.s.silyevitch, it"s not for you and me to criticise men like that--how are we qualified to? Let the shoemaker stick to his last." "But, upon my word," I retorted with annoyance, "whatever difference is there between me and Mr. Orba.s.sanov?" The police-captain took his pipe out of his mouth, opened his eyes wide, and fairly roared. "Well, you"re an amusing chap,"
he observed at last, while the tears ran down his cheeks: "what a joke to make!... Ah! you are a funny fellow!" And till his departure he never ceased jeering at me, now and then giving me a poke in the ribs with his elbow, and addressing me by my Christian name. He went away at last.
This was enough: it was the last drop, and my cup was overflowing. I paced several times up and down the room, stood still before the looking-gla.s.s and gazed a long, long while at my embarra.s.sed countenance, and deliberately putting out my tongue, I shook my head with a bitter smile. The scales fell from my eyes: I saw clearly, more clearly than I saw my face in the gla.s.s, what a shallow, insignificant, worthless, unoriginal person I was!"
He paused.
"In one of Voltaire"s tragedies," he went on wearily, "there is some worthy who rejoices that he has reached the furthest limit of unhappiness. Though there is nothing tragic in my fate, I will admit I have experienced something of that sort. I have known the bitter transports of cold despair; I have felt how sweet it is, lying in bed, to curse deliberately for a whole morning together the hour and day of my birth. I could not resign myself all at once. And indeed, think of it yourself: I was kept by impecuniosity in the country, which I hated; I was not fitted for managing my land, nor for the public service, nor for literature, nor anything; my neighbours I didn"t care for, and books I loathed; as for the mawkish and morbidly sentimental young ladies who shake their curls and feverishly harp on the word "life," I had ceased to have any attraction for them ever since I gave up ranting and gushing; complete solitude I could not face.... I began--what do you suppose?--I began hanging about, visiting my neighbours. As though drunk with self-contempt, I purposely exposed myself to all sorts of petty slights. I was missed over in serving at table; I was met with supercilious coldness, and at last was not noticed at all; I was not even allowed to take part in general conversation, and from my corner I myself used purposely to back up some stupid talker who in those days at Moscow would have ecstatically licked the dust off my feet, and kissed the hem of my cloak.... I did not even allow myself to believe that I was enjoying the bitter satisfaction of irony.... What sort of irony, indeed, can a man enjoy in solitude? Well, so I have behaved for some years on end, and so I behave now."
"Really, this is beyond everything," grumbled the sleepy voice of Mr.
Kantagryuhin from the next room: "what fool is it that has taken a fancy to talk all night?"
The speaker promptly ducked under the clothes and peeping out timidly, held up his finger to me warningly,
"Sh--sh--!" he whispered; and, as it were, bowing apologetically in the direction of Kantagryuhin"s voice, he said respectfully: "I obey, sir, I obey; I beg your pardon.... It"s permissible for him to sleep; he ought to sleep," he went on again in a whisper: "he must recruit his energies--well, if only to eat his dinner with the same relish to-morrow. We have no right to disturb him. Besides, I think I"ve told you all I wanted to; probably you"re sleepy too. I wish you good-night."
He turned away with feverish rapidity and buried his head in the pillow.
"Let me at least know," I asked, "with whom I have had the pleasure...."
He raised his head quickly.
"No, for mercy"s sake!" he cut me short, "don"t inquire my name either of me or of others. Let me remain to you an unknown being, crushed by fate, Va.s.sily Va.s.silyevitch. Besides, as an unoriginal person, I don"t deserve an individual name.... But if you really want to give me some t.i.tle, call me... call me the Hamlet of the Shtchigri district. There are many such Hamlets in every district, but perhaps you haven"t come across others.... After which, good-bye."
He buried himself again in his feather-bed, and the next morning, when they came to wake me, he was no longer in the room. He had left before daylight.
XXI
TCHERTOP-HANOV AND NEDOPYUSKIN
One hot summer day I was coming home from hunting in a light cart; Yermolai sat beside me dozing and scratching his nose. The sleeping dogs were jolted up and down like lifeless bodies under our feet. The coachman kept flicking gadflies off the horses with his whip. The white dust rose in a light cloud behind the cart. We drove in between bushes.
The road here was full of ruts, and the wheels began catching in the twigs. Yermolai started up and looked round.... "Hullo!" he said; "there ought to be grouse here. Let"s get out." We stopped and went into the thicket. My dog hit upon a covey. I took a shot and was beginning to reload, when suddenly there was a loud crackling behind me, and a man on horseback came towards me, pushing the bushes apart with his hands.
"Sir... pe-ermit me to ask," he began in a haughty voice, "by what right you are--er--shooting here, sir?" The stranger spoke extraordinarily quickly, jerkily and condescendingly. I looked at his face; never in my life have I seen anything like it. Picture to yourselves, gentle readers, a little flaxen-haired man, with a little turn-up red nose and long red moustaches. A pointed Persian cap with a crimson cloth crown covered his forehead right down to his eyebrows. He was dressed in a shabby yellow Caucasian overcoat, with black velveteen cartridge pockets on the breast, and tarnish silver braid on all the seams; over his shoulder was slung a horn; in his sash was sticking a dagger. A raw-boned, hook-nosed chestnut horse shambled unsteadily under his weight; two lean, crook-pawed greyhounds kept turning round just under the horse"s legs. The face, the glance, the voice, every action, the whole being of the stranger, was expressive of a wild daring and an unbounded, incredible pride; his pale-blue gla.s.sy eyes strayed about with a sideway squint like a drunkard"s; he flung back his head, puffed out his cheeks, snorted and quivered all over, as though bursting with dignity--for all the world like a turkey-c.o.c.k. He repeated his question.
"I didn"t know it was forbidden to shoot here," I replied.
"You are here, sir," he continued, "on my land."
"With your permission, I will go off it."
"But pe-ermit me to ask," he rejoined, "is it a n.o.bleman I have the honour of addressing?"
I mentioned my name.
"In that case, oblige me by hunting here. I am a n.o.bleman myself, and am very pleased to do any service to a n.o.bleman.... And my name is Panteley Tchertop-hanov." He bowed, hallooed, gave his horse a lash on the neck; the horse shook its head, reared, shied, and trampled on a dog"s paws.
The dog gave a piercing squeal. Tchertop-hanov boiled over with rage; foaming at the mouth, he struck the horse with his fist on the head between the ears, leaped to the ground quicker than lightning, looked at the dog"s paw, spat on the wound, gave it a kick in the ribs to stop its whining, caught on to the horse"s forelock, and put his foot in the stirrup. The horse flung up its head, and with its tail in the air edged away into the bushes; he followed it, hopping on one leg; he got into the saddle at last, however, flourished his whip in a sort of frenzy, blew his horn, and galloped off. I had not time to recover from the unexpected appearance of Tchertop-hanov, when suddenly, almost without any noise, there came out of the bushes a stoutish man of forty on a little black nag. He stopped, took off his green leather cap, and in a thin, subdued voice he asked me whether I hadn"t seen a horseman riding a chestnut? I answered that I had.
"Which way did the gentleman go?" he went on in the same tone, without putting on his cap.
"Over there."
"I humbly thank you, sir."
He made a kissing sound with his lips, swung his legs against his horse"s sides, and fell into a jog-trot in the direction indicated. I looked after him till his peaked cap was hidden behind the branches.
This second stranger was not in the least like his predecessor in exterior. His face, plump and round as a ball, expressed bashfulness, good-nature, and humble meekness; his nose, also plump and round and streaked with blue veins, betokened a sensualist. On the front of his head there was not a single hair left, some thin brown tufts stuck out behind; there was an ingratiating twinkle in his little eyes, set in long slits, and a sweet smile on his red, juicy lips. He had on a coat with a stand-up collar and bra.s.s b.u.t.tons, very worn but clean; his cloth trousers were hitched up high, his fat calves were visible above the yellow tops of his boots.
"Who"s that?" I inquired of Yermolai.
"That? Nedopyuskin, Tihon Ivanitch. He lives at Tchertop-hanov"s."
"What is he, a poor man?"
"He"s not rich; but, to be sure, Tchertop-hanov"s not got a bra.s.s farthing either."
"Then why does he live with him?"
"Oh, they made friends. One"s never seen without the other.... It"s a fact, indeed--where the horse puts its hoof, there the crab sticks its claw."
We got out of the bushes; suddenly two hounds "gave tongue" close to us, and a big hare bounded through the oats, which were fairly high by now.
The dogs, hounds and harriers, leaped out of the thicket after him, and after the dogs flew out Tchertop-hanov himself. He did not shout, nor urge the dogs on, nor halloo; he was breathless and gasping; broken, senseless sounds were jerked out of his gaping mouth now and then; he dashed on, his eyes starting out of his head, and furiously lashed at his luckless horse with the whip. The harriers were gaining on the hare... it squatted for a moment, doubled sharply back, and darted past Yermolai into the bushes.... The harriers rushed in pursuit. "Lo-ok out!
lo-ok out!" the exhausted horseman articulated with effort, in a sort of stutter: "lo-ok out, friend!" Yermolai shot... the wounded hare rolled head over heels on the smooth dry gra.s.s, leaped into the air, and squealed piteously in the teeth of a worrying dog. The hounds crowded about her. Like an arrow, Tchertop-hanov flew off his horse, clutched his dagger, ran straddling among the dogs with furious imprecations, s.n.a.t.c.hed the mangled hare from them, and, creasing up his whole face, he buried the dagger in its throat up to the very hilt... buried it, and began hallooing. Tihon Ivanitch made his appearance on the edge of the thicket "Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!" vociferated Tchertop-hanov a second time. "Ho-ho-ho-ho," his companion repeated placidly.
"But really, you know, one ought not to hunt in summer, "I observed to Tchertop-hanov, pointing to the trampled-down oats.
"It"s my field," answered Tchertop-hanov, gasping.
He pulled the hare into shape, hung it on to his saddle, and flung the paws among the dogs.
"I owe you a charge, my friend, by the rules of hunting," he said, addressing Yermolai. "And you, dear sir," he added in the same jerky, abrupt voice, "my thanks."
He mounted his horse.
"Pe-ermit me to ask... I"ve forgotten your name and your father"s."
Again I told him my name.