Chapter 164 Pleasure and PainTranslator: Atla.s.studios | Editor: Atla.s.studios /Atlas StudiosHer breath was getting shorter and more hurried as she placed both hands on his shoulders, which were tough as a rock.
He felt encouraged and landed on top of her. As he began undoing her b.u.t.tons with one hand, his warm and coa.r.s.e palm reached into her pajamas, exploring. It seemed his pa.s.sion was ignited.
She shuddered as her mind became a blur. She was accepting, welcoming him, but out of the blue, an image flashed past her, an image that seemed too similar to the scene before her, one that disturbed her continually. The memory was summoned once again — the huge villa, the handcuffed wrists, the devilish man…
She was semi-conscious now and tried, albeit weakly, to struggle and wrench herself free. Yet, the more she wanted to escape his increasingly unrestrained movement, the more forcefully he restrained her.
“Li Lei,” Her voice shook. “don’t, don’t do this…”
Li Lei could not hear anything more at this point. As his pa.s.sion surged, all he wanted was to have her to himself completely. Panic rose inside her, and the image in her memory got clearer and clearer — that man had pinned her down the same way, unrelenting towards her struggles as he brought her more pain.
“No!” She was pale as a sheet as she pushed Li Lei away, screaming.
By the time she realized what she had done, she was already free from him. Still fl.u.s.tered, she backed off and held onto the sheets.
“Xiao Ling…”
“Don’t come close!” She looked at him, so utterly horrified that even her voice was different.
Li Lei was evidently hurt, but he did not try to get any closer. His clothes were crumpled, revealing his beautifully toned body, and the look of confusion in his eyes had not left. Yet he managed to restrain himself, to not do anything that could potentially hurt her. “Why?” he asked, his voice low and hoa.r.s.e.
They were alright just moments ago, why did she push him away with such fear all of a sudden?
Xia Ling did not know how to answer that as she held her head low, unwilling to meet his gaze. She knew he meant no harm and that he simply loved her too much. They were already a couple, and things were bound to happen, but… what went wrong? The problem was definitely on her part, not his. She could not control herself and her body, nor could she overcome that panic and rejection. All of what she felt now was a result of what that devilish man did. He turned extreme pleasure into extreme pain, branded that trauma in her mind, leaving it etched in her heart.
She could not get rid of that fear.
“Xiao Ling…” Li Lei was worried about her.
“I’m fine, just let me be on my own for a while,” she said softly as she held herself.
“If you’re unwilling, I will not force you,” his voice was slow as he spoke slowly. “We will be spending our lives together. I will wait until the day you’re ready.”
With that, he stood up and left the bedroom.
The room was now quiet, and as a dark cloud eclipsed the sun, the room had fallen into darkness. Xia Ling stayed completely still as her body cooled down. She remembered Pei Ziheng’s words —
“Xiao Ling, are you trying to escape? You’ll never succeed, your body belongs to me, forever.”
Was this what Stockholm Syndrome was like? After repeated whipping and torture, isolation and love, was she really Pei Ziheng’s and no one else’s? Would she reject all other men who touched her?
She had begun a new life, her outer sh.e.l.l completely changed, but was her soul any different from the one that had been branded on?
She dared not think further.
She was curled up in the bedroom the whole day. When dusk arrived and the dark scared her, she finally got up and stumbled on her numb legs to turn on the lights. That was when she realized that Li Lei had left.
In the living room, the windows were half open, allowing the breeze to enter.
Yet it was not enough to dissipate the smell of smoke.
She had never seen him smoke before, but today, the crystal ashtray was full of cigarette b.u.t.ts.
Beneath the ashtray was a note.
— I have left and probably will not return in a while. Take care of yourself, and call me when you miss me.
On the note was an even thicker smell of smoke than in the air, and the note itself seemed to speak of hurt.
It was a huge blow to Xia Ling, and it showed on her face in the next few rounds of selection. Sister Mai Na could not take it any longer and went to speak with her. “Xiao Ling, what happened with you recently? You’re not in good shape. It isn’t your turn yet, so you should be due to sing in the next round. If you’re still in this condition, how are you going to compete with the other singers?”
“I’ll adjust myself,” said Xia Ling wearily.
Sister Mai Na frowned. “What is it, exactly? You’ve been going well recently. Was it an argument with Boss?”
There was no way she could speak about something so private and personal, so Xia Ling simply shook her head and said, “He’s alright.” She avoided Sister Mai Na and forced herself to focus on her work.
Seeing that she was trying her best, Sister Mai Na did not see a need to give her a lecture.
Xia Ling had nightmares for the next few nights. The moment she closed her eyes, memories of that pitch dark room and the sense of helplessness and panic came rus.h.i.+ng back. She could barely manage a good sleep at night and often stayed awake for the most part of it.
It did not take long before she looked haggard.
“What happened to your skin, it’s so dry I can barely get your makeup on properly.” The last round of selection for the Nebula Music Festival had finally arrived, and the makeup artist was busy helping her out in the studio and lecturing her as he applied her makeup. “I’ve already told you the past few times that you have to take note of your sleep and drink more water to stay hydrated. Look at you now, I can’t give you anything more than a light and nude makeup. Otherwise, it’ll look too cakey on camera.”
Xia Ling did not have the energy to argue with him. Moreover, he was only speaking facts, so she let him go on.
Sister Mai Na, Bai Murong, and the rest were sighing by the side. They had planned to create the best conditions and opportunities for her in every aspect, but they missed out the one important thing — Xia Ling’s condition. There was no way they could have expected her to be so out of her norm.
“Her period?” Bai Murong tugged at Sister Mai Na and whispered. “Isn’t that a bit too long for that?”
Sister Mai Na glared at him. “More like you’re on your period!”
Bai Murong kept quiet after that. At this point, the only thing left to do was for Xia Ling to perform better.
But, this was just the selection round, and she had such a good position, surely she would not have an issue…
Xia Ling did not know about their worries. After her makeup was done, she went to the washroom.
The corridor was long and maze-like. As she walked on, she heard a man’s voice coming from a corner. “Come on, Little Beauty Luo Luo. Don’t be shy, let me touch you…”